Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own this story that was some what based off a true story.
My Curse
Every one has their own curse; Naruto has his fox, Sasuke and Neji have their seals, the list goes on. But me? My curse was different, my curse isn't visible nor does it ever show itself to others, but that doesn't make it any less dangerous. Only I know about my curse. When I was growing up, I thought the worse thing I was capable of was killing someone, I would later learn that it wasn't. It's one thing to kill, it's another to live. I couldn't help myself; she was so beautiful. Don't get me wrong, I've never touched her, not even once. But I wish I could. My curse was like poison living in me; growing more and more with each new day. Some people wouldn't call what I feel towards her a curse; some would call it love; but not me. I may be the smartest person in Konoha but I'm also the most stupid. I want to forget what I feel so badly, it's almost become physical. The stress of just simply being around her is almost beginning to show. Most women to me in this world I viewed as being troublesome, but not her. I could never look at her like that. Even if I acted the complete opposite of what I felt, that didn't mean I didn't feel it. My spirit and body felt like a balloon was in my chest; holding it up every time I was around her. I wanted to ask if she felt the same back toward me; the way she smiled and hugged me every time we met up, but by the time I came up with the courage to ask, it was too late.
I witnessed something that would change my views on her forever. We waited patiently at the gates for her to arrive. When she finally did, she was accompanied by her pink haired friend. I was about to run to her to give her a big hug, but stopped strait in my tracts as the skilled medic leaned forward; her hand cupping my secret loves cheek like she would if she was sculpting clay. Her fingers gently tracing along her jaw bone as their lips clashed in a soft embrace. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing.
"Didn't you hear?" Our other team mate approached me as he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder "Ino got herself a girlfriend"
I felt my chest sink in as the balloons were popped one by one.
"No," I simply replied as if I felt nothing "No, I didn't know Chouji" My eyes ducked to the dirt ground as my teeth and fists clenched so tight I could feel blood seeping through my broken skin.
I knew it for definite now; I could never have her. Inside it still burned, the poison called love. I wanted to throw up; I wanted to be sick; to feel physical pain so it would take away my emotional. But I don't, I simply turn and walk away as if I felt nothing towards her. As if I looked at her nothing more than a team mate and friend, like I didn't love her; not in that way. I small glimpse of hope passed by my eyes for a single second, in the hope she was bi, but I couldn't ever remember her having a boyfriend. I remember myself; wanting to be her first. But I can't. I was free once; with no nails of pain keeping me held down, but I haven't been that way for years, ever since I met her. I simply keep walking and bottle my emotions; chucking them away down the empty black wells of my mind.
After all I was a shinobi; it was my job to feel nothing, it was my curse and my curse alone.
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