*Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, BLLLAAAAAAARRRRRMMMMMMMMMM*
In a half-woken stupor, Spongebob reached across his bed and turned off his foghorn alarm clock. He glanced at the time as he sat up and stretched.
"Tartar sauce, only two hours of sleep last night" Spongebob thought to himself. He had been very busy preparing the night before, getting together supplies that had taken months of accumulation, so he could be organized for tomorrow's big event. Although he felt groggy and weak, Spongebob managed to let out his signature phrase.
"I'M READY!" he squealed as he jumped out of his bed. He hurried down into the kitchen where he fixed himself a bowl of his favorite kelp cereal. As he tucked into his breakfast, he turned on the TV and watched the news.
"The Bikini Bottom is proud to announce that it's third annual Sea-Slam Music Festival will be performing tomorrow at the Krusty Towers!" cried the announcer fish that had a puppet mouth. Thousands of fish from all over are flocking towards our little town to attend this huge event!
Spongebob was enthralled, he had been preparing for this event for months, and everything was going according to plan. The footage he saw of crowds of crowds of fish lining up for the event made him even more excited, this was perhaps one of the luckiest moments of his life. "I can't wait!" Spongebob exclaimed with glee. "Now, time to grab my things". He rushed upstairs into his bedroom.
From the first floor of his pineapple home, a symphony of very loud thuds could be heard as Spongebob lugged a plethora of suitcases one-by-one down the stairs into his living room. Each suitcase, as a matter of fact, weighed at least seventy pounds each. Practically all of them were brimming with the tools he needed to get the most out of this event. All except for one atleast. In a small duffle bag Spongebob had stowed his favorite books on nihilist philosophy, which had comforted, and perhaps inspired him, during his weeks of preparation. Spongebob had been going through tough times. Money was tight, Mr. Krabs didn't treat him well at work, and because of this he fell into a deep depression. As he read more and more into these books he noticed the pointlessness and unecessary drama around him. These ideas his brain absorbed gave a new meaning to his life; a life without meaning. Once and for all he felt free, knowing that without moral boundaries and federal laws the world truly was his oyster. He vowed to get revenge on the aquatic masses of his society, the same fish that had chained him to debt, employment, and structure. These instruments of unrelenting homicide he had concealed within his luggage were soon to help him achieve that in a matter of days. Spongebob shook these thoughts out of his head and returned to the task at hand. He was ready to leave his house and head off towards the Krusty Towers.
"It's going to be hard work getting these suitcases up to my hotel room" Spongebob thought to himself as he dialed a taxi. As he waited for the driver to arrive, Spongebob remembered the one thing he had to do before leaving home.
"I almost forgot to feed Gary!" Spongebob gasped as he headed towards the kitchen cabinet. He pulled out a box of snail food. As he stared at it, Spongebob started to sniff and tears formed in his eyes. He had only vaguely thought about it until now, but the thought about not coming back home made him recognize the implications it could have on Gary. Whether it'd be by starvation or loneliness, Gary would die without his owner. Spongebob did the most ethical thing he could do and pulled a bag of cyanide out of a cupboard. He made sure to sprinkle it lightly over Gary's food, so it encompassed all of his feeding bowl and wasn't noticeable.
"Oh Gaaaaarrryyy! Gare-bear! Time for breakfast!"
Gary slithered out of Spongebob's room and down into the kitchen. Spongebob greeted him warmly. "There's my favorite snail!" he gushed as he put Gary's bowl on the floor. "Here's your breakfast!"
Gary sniffed his bowl. Not being able to notice the odorless poison he began to chow down.
"That's a good boy!" Spongebob cheered as he struggled to choke back tears. Gary was to occupied with his food to notice his owner's distraught demeanor. "Well, Daddy's going to be gone for a while. He'll be back soon!" Spongebob said as he walked to the living room. From there he grabbed his cargo and hauled it out the door. As he rushed inside to grab his last suitcase, his taxi arrived outside and beeped. Spongebob headed into the kitchen one last time and stroked Gary.
"I love you" he cooed.
"Meow" said Gary.
Spongebob sniffled and headed out the door with his last suitcase. As he closed the front door, he took one last glimpse at Gary and blew him a kiss. He shut the door and (with much difficulty) hauled his suitcases into the trunk of the taxi. He stepped into the yellow boat.
"Where to?" Inquired the taxi driver.
"Krusty Towers please" replied Spongebob.
The taxi driver stepped on the gas peddle and they began to pull away from his house. Spongebob thought about taking one last glance of it through the rearview mirror, but decided against it. "I've had enough heartbreaks for today" he thought to himself. "Now I've got bigger fish to fry".
The taxi pulled out of Conch Street and sped towards the Krusty Towers.