"Now…go home Link. Regain your lost time!
Home…where you are supposed to be…
…the way you are supposed to be…"
…didn't he get a say in this…?
After…after all that. After everything. That's it? Just, pat on the head, well done, go home, like it never happened…?
And he was just…just supposed to accept it?
He could feel Navi sag with relief next to him. But he was…he was…
He was drawn out of his musings by the sounds of Zelda blowing on the Ocarina. His eyes snapped to her hands, the sad expression on her face, tainted with resolution.
But something was…wrong.
And then it hit him.
"Zelda wait! Time doesn't work like-
But it was too late. The blue glow had erupted around him.
Blue…why is the color of time Blue? It's the same shade of Blue of the jewel-ward made by the Nayru's Love spell.
It was something he'd been wondering for a while. But no wait now wasn't the time to get distracted.
He tried to fight it. Honestly he did. You'd think it would work, what with him being the 'Hero of Time' and all. One would be led to believe that simply holding the Master Sword – though why did sometimes I want to call it 'Excalibur'? – would be enough to wield some level of command over at least one's own personal timeline.
One would be a fool and set to be eaten by King Dodongo.
The Ocarina is the one with all the power. The Master Sword just acts as an anchor point. A boulder in the river of time that marks the location of one attempting to travel up or downstream, abnormally.
At least, for Link.
His journey back and forth through time had taught him far more about its inner workings – something even the Goddesses struggle with on occasion – than any mortal prior. The Ocarina manipulated time, and the Master Sword was his anchor. Removing it but being incapable of wielding it, locked him in that distortion of timespace called the 'Sacred Realm' while the rest of the world moved on without him.
Replacing it, caused an aberration in that future that existed under the following condition: the Master Sword had been removed, but no Hero had been spotted wielding it up to that point.
By replacing the Master Sword, he caused a similar distortion in the logic of that timeline's reality, synchronizing with the temporal powers of the Ocarina, and dragging him and his life-linked partner, Navi, back to the moment he first lay hands on the sword.
Zelda's idea, was to wield the Ocarina herself, suffused with the power of the Triforce of Wisdom, one third of the Golden Power wielded by the Goddesses; to send Link back permanently to before he drew the Master Sword.
…it would be here, that Link came to understand, Wisdom does not equate Knowledge.
His voice was swallowed by the incomprehensible forces now swirling around him. He wanted to scream at her-tried, to scream at her, but no air would leave his lungs. Instead, he had to settle for yelling at her in his mind.
Zelda you rock-brained, bubble-eyed, slimy-scaled, lava-crotched spawn of a Lizalfos mating with Twinrova in Jabu-Jabu's acid-laden SPHINCTER!
And then the pain hit.
Yes. Pain.
Link knew, from personal experience, that time was a…it was a thing. It would go forward. You, under the right conditions, could go back. Maybe even sideways. But it was never meant to be reset. When Link time-travelled, he didn't reset anything other than himself. He reset himself to the point in which he last first drew the Master Sword.
Yes. Last first. Think about it for a moment.
Everything that occurred up to the moment he, as a child, drew the Master Sword, was truth. It was reality. It was what it was. Everything after he re-awoke from his seven year slumber, was half-true. It was only as true as things were up to when he replaced the Master Sword.
There were some things that could not change. Ganondorf would always reign terror. Castle Town would always be mostly destroyed. People who died before he drew the sword would still be dead. But people who died while he was in slumber, may or may not survive, based on things he did before he drew the sword.
The future, effectively, was constantly changing, based on what he did before picking the sword back up. But the past would not change, unless he went back to the instant before he drew the sword, and forced it to.
What Zelda was going to attempt, was effectively, wrong.
When Link traversed the river of time, it felt as if he was being engulfed in a warm, comforting flow. Like being in a warm pond, floating carelessly, relaxed and free. Going forward, it felt like he was being pushed up, stretched slightly but no more than if he was stretching out on his own. While going back, felt like he was curling up into a ball on a warm bed with a belly full of stew.
This…was not that.
This was the feeling of being electrocuted by the strange jellyfish looking creatures in Jabu-Jabu's belly while rolling in magma-heated stomach acid, while being battered around between two spinning Skulltula that had just impaled him repeatedly on jagged broken swords launched by Gerudo bows after being pulverized by the falling boulders down Death Mountain, all while being smothered by the gunk-tendrils of Morpha that happened to take lessons from Bongo-Bongo.
It was the searing pain of Gohma's acid spit, the burning agony of Volvagia's flaming breath, the anguished fury of watching the Great Deku Tree wither away and knowing he was too weak to have stopped it.
And then he realized…of course that's what it felt like.
Because he had been reliving those exact moments, but in reverse.
All of those battles, the meetings the feelings the scents and tastes and sounds. All rushing by at a blinding pace, pressing and pulling and dragging and carving into his very being, ripping and tearing pieces of all that he'd lived, all that he knew out of his heart his mind his very soul.
It was after something in him snapped.
That he passed out from the force.
With his last coherent thought being a final curse as a rushing sound akin to the noise of the waterfall just outside of Zora's Domain filled his being.
…Zelda…I think I hate you…
WAKING UP, FREAKING OUT
A ray of light shone from above. Its golden white glare sparkling off the pristine marble of the castle walls.
Right into the face of a little boy with dirty blonde hair, sprawled out next to some giant wooden crates with a cartoonish looking cow face stamped on the side.
Uuugh…someone turn off the sun…
The child rolled over, before grunting in irritation at the hard object digging into his back.
And then he bolted up as everything snapped into place. He unfortunately gasped at a bad time, beginning to cough and sputter on his own spit, going down the wrong internal pipe. Getting himself under control, Link stared at his hands, barely seeing them as his mind raced to place when he was.
…and why he felt off.
Looking at his surroundings – a few trees, a small fenced off glade of grass leading into a slope, marble and cobble mixed together, a small spout of water coming from the side of a very large building – he began to piece together where he was.
I'm at Hyrule Castle. I'm a child and I'm at Hyrule Castle.
"huuuh…huey…hye-KUHUAGHUH! kHAhk! Khuuuuuh…huuuoooh…"
Throat dry for an unknown reason, a heavily hacking Little Link fumbled with his enchanted pouch, rooting around until he found something solid.
But more importantly, cold.
"uueeeehhhKHUH!"
Shaking his head at his own ill-state, he popped the cork and chugged down the entire bottle of Lon-Lon Milk.
Yeah. The whole thing. Just…just in one go. Like, you can't even do that, man. That's like half a friggin gallon right there. Even as an adult he never did that.
"Khuh…khAGH…Khu-UURREEEP. Khuh…ooooh…ooohkaaaay…wow…alright…not…not doin that again…"
After the unexpected sharp belch, Link swayed on the spot, slightly dizzy from the lack of oxygen caused by his coughing fit. Shaking his head, he followed up on his original intent.
"N-Navi. Navi? Navi! Hey! Listen!"
He'd yanked off his hat. Ruffled his tunic. Even dropped his pants.
And then blinked.
I wasn't that tiny was I?
And then shook his head. Now was not the time to be considering the size difference of his deku stick.
It was at this moment that the panic set in. Normally, if the mocking of her tinny voice didn't call her out, dropping his pants did the trick. But his fairy, his partner, his best friend and likely the only reason he survived half of his battles…
She didn't respond.
"NAVI?!"
He half-yelled. Subconscious mind reminding him he was illegally outside the Castle walls and the guards could easily come running.
But she was nowhere to be found. His heart clenched, his stomach dropped, his vision swam and became unfocused his-
"Kid. Kid! Hey! Calm down!"
It was a talking bird…man…thing.
Its feather-wing-hands gripped his shoulders.
Panicked blue met quiet concerned green.
"Now tell me. What's got your feathers in a ruffle?"
"M-My partner. My fairy. I can't find her. I…"
"Hey relax. We'll look for her together."
He hissed in pain. His head was suddenly throbbing. A hand went to his temples to try to calm the raging headache that had seared into his brain.
…they had never found her.
His ears popped. His vision swam again.
"…you're me."
"Yeah."
"…I get big."
"Heh. Yeah you do."
"…did you ever find Navi?"
"She's not here. …oh. Are you-
"Mister Falco helped me."
"I'm sorry. Tell you a secret?"
"okay."
"I freaked out too."
That…that didn't happen though. That never happened. He never met himself. Or a bird man. The only 'him' he met was Shadow Link in the Wa…ter…
Oh.
Oh.
Zelda…you dumb, bitch.
FRACTURED MEMORIES
Alright…ok. I need to think of something.
Did he…really want to bother doing it all again?
I mean she said 'the way I was supposed to be' so…maybe I'm not? But what do I do then? Not like I can go back to the Forest.
…he paused in his pacing.
The forest. Where the only father figure he'd ever known was dead.
Well…the seedling existed but…
…but it won't properly grow until that moss-licker is dead.
…
…I'm not doing it all over again. Once was enough. But Ganon needs to go. But if I go see Zelda again then…
Well for one, it'd be hard not to punch her. Princess or not, that was a dumb idea and if the other junk swimming in his head was real then she royally screwed up.
…so it's got to be today.
The day he woke up, was the day he'd snuck in to see Zelda for the first time. The day she showed him Ganondorf. The day…
The day everything went from bad to worse.
He didn't have the Goron Ruby or Zora Sapphire. He didn't have the Goron Bracelet. He didn't have the Zora Scale. He only had some deku sticks, deku nuts, deku seeds (that's a lot of deku) his Kokiri Sword (why had he never used that as an offhand dagger when he was older?) his Kokiri Shield (which he might need to ditch now that he thinks about it) and the tunic on his back and hat on his head.
And some rupees but the hell was he going to do with those?
Right now, at least.
He could still feel the thrum of his magic, even though this personal timeline preceeded him having gone up Death Mountain. It was lesser than he was used to, maybe enough for one, perhaps two good Charged Spin Attacks.
…so he had to kill Gannondorf before the meeting was over.
Ok so lets say I succeed. What do I do after? …could always see about moving to Lon-Lon. Malon would be pleased. And Talon said something about her…
He thought about it, getting a brief flash of long red hair.
…she sure does…did…will. WILL, grow up pretty.
Maybe not as pretty as Samus but still. That…was one pretty lady.
"What? Something on my face?"
"Ahh…no. Just…you're really pretty."
The bounty hunter gave a low chuckle.
"Thanks Kid. Link, right?"
"Yeah."
"Isn't that the name of the other guy in green?"
"He's what I grow up to be, apparently. Something about time-travel. And idiot princesses."
"Can't say I've ever done the time-travel part…pfft, probably bound to happen with what I get into…"
She shook her head, still grinning.
"…very pretty…"
Body like a dancer, fought like a Gerudo, Samus Aran was a gorgeous woman with an absolutely magical suit of armor. Born human, lost her parents at the hands of a demon, rescued by bird-people, and somehow she'd been given parts of their makeup (which was why she was so tall and agile and graceful and) She was his first proper crush, now that he thought about it. And then he started thinking of what Malon would look like in that bodysuit and oh there's the stupid tingly feelings again.
Knew I should have snuck into the castle library…Darknuts I'm not gonna have time to do that…
Back then…it didn't make sense to him. Why the older him was constantly scowling at Zelda. Why she was subservient and demure around the older him, and doting and very gentle and careful and sad around him him. Zelda had grown up pretty as well but that feeling of…sorrow and pain around her…it took away from it.
But now he knew why. And…it made him feel ickier than being grabbed by Morpha, but he was glad she was unhappy.
Because as more memories came to him. Memories of events that didn't happen but did happen but also hadn't happened yet, he realized what she did, and what she caused and that memory of his last feeling before waking up, of actual, tangible, burning hatred for the Princess, reignited.
Zelda Hyrulia fucked up.
ROYAL MISTAKE
He had been right. Not that she'd known it. Not that she'd been told it. Not even that she gave him the chance.
It was a dumbass move of hers, she would admit. With those exact, coarse words. She, Princess Zelda Hyrulia, was an absolute fucking dumbass.
And the glare of suppressed hatred veiled behind a thin sheer of cordiality in her cha-…no…her Kingdom's Champion's eyes, whenever he looked at her…
It just reminded her of all her failures and idiocies.
When she had confronted him on it, he dressed her down harsher than anyone, even her own father had.
She fucked up.
When she played the Song of Time, infused by the power of the Triforce of Wisdom, to reset time itself, she overstepped her limits. Time, was not to be meddled with, in that manner.
Through his growled rant, she learned, that he was able to tinker with specific points in time only, through a combination of the Ocarina as the caster, and the Master Sword as the anchor. The strange blocks in certain locations, that would move when engulfed by the resonate tones of the Song of Time, only shifted in specific ways. Places they were, or would be, and nothing else in between.
Points of Absolution, he called it. 'Locations' in the timestream that would be the 'beginning' and 'end' of an object's journey.
He wasn't manipulating time itself so much as he was manipulating an object's or more often, his own location and presence in the timestream.
He would always reset himself to the most recent point, the last known instant, before his child self drew the Master Sword. Doing so, by causing a minor temporal inconsistency by placing the sword back in its pedestal at a time when everyone in the world knew it had been drawn.
This, effectively caused a localized and locked distortion in local timespace, allowing him to send his consciousness back to his child-body. He wasn't resetting time, he was resetting himself. Those seven years would always come to pass once he drew the blade, but what the end result was, could be changed, by doing something before he drew the sword.
It was why there was only ever one Link. He couldn't simply hide out after going back and wait those seven years, because the events had to occur properly. The present she knew, existed, because he opened the Door and drew the Sword. Everything that she was, everything she became, everything she understood at that point, existed as it did, because of her stupidity in asking him to gather the stones and open the Door.
Drawing the sword, created a fixed point. He was stuck for those seven years, which would pass in the blink of an eye for him, but be lived by everyone else, no matter what he did. Unless he simply never opened the door.
And what she'd done, was try to send him back, reset time itself to before he opened the Door. But in doing so, she caused a break in reality.
She'd infused a semi-godly power with a literal Fragment of God(dess), to fulfill her desire. And doing that, created such an inconsistency that it tore reality in two.
Now there would always be a future where he drew the sword, no matter what. The same events would loop over and over and over, all because of her.
He'd continued to rave at her, saying that if she hadn't been so full of herself, she could have asked him simply to replace the sword one final time, send himself back to his consciousness as a child before drawing the sword, and simply never draw it. The Master Sword – though why was it that sometimes her tongue wished to form the word Excalibur? – was toted as the 'Blade of Evil's Bane'. A holy sword infused with the pure will of the Sacred Realm, that none with abject wickedness or evil in their hearts, could wield, let alone draw it.
The Door of Time would have remained open, but Ganondorf, even should he have breeched the inner sanctum, would have been easily locked out of the Sacred Realm, as he could not draw the blade, which was the key to opening the path.
But her actions had now caused a temporal break. A fracture so great that it created their current situation.
Playing an overglorified death game, at the whim of the Hands.
When the break happened, they had been plucked from their world. The key players, the biggest names, the most important beings, taken from their universe and dropped into a vat of insanity.
Herself, her ability to turn into the Sheika warrior Sheik, the Link as he was as wielder of the Master Sword, Gannondorf, but most worryingly, most painfully, his child self.
It hurt, to look at the younger Link. To know she was the reason not merely that any of her conflict's participants were here, but him. He had gone through, would go through, so much due to her own foolishness and now he'd been snatched from that attempt at a peaceful life.
So she minded him. She took care of him. Nursed his bumps and bruises and doted on him out of guilt and broken love for the man he would become, the man who hated her with a passion greater than the one he held for Gannondorf. Gannondorf killed his father figure, but it was her that ripped his peace away.
But the child him, was a him from before that. After the Deku Tree, but before grabbing the Master Sword. A him that still held tempered innocence. A him that was still wide-eyed and idealistic.
A child, in a child's body…not a child trapped in a man's body, forced to nearly die over and over again for a kingdom he never knew, on orders of a princess he barely understood, for sake of a world he hadn't even gotten to live in.
He held only the barest stirrings of hatred in his heart. And she prayed, over and over again, that he would never have it grow to the same flame his older self held for her.
But she'd never know, that her prayers meant nothing.
For she was the one that opened the door.
And that innocent child, was about to become an infamous blood-soaked killer.
TO PLAN A MURDER
Ok…so he had to kill Gannondorf before the meeting ended. Well…slipping into Zelda's garden wasn't super difficult. He'd just have to alter the route to go into the Castle this time. But…how was he going to do it…?
"Kid. Let me tell you something."
The man with the dark skin had sat there, on the ledge of the strange roof.
"Sometimes, you gotta do bad things, to stop something worse from happening."
"…like kill someone?"
"Yeah. Look kid, we're gonna fight. Over and over and over again. Nothing doing about it. Can't stop it, won't bother trying. I'm gonna die. You're gonna die. She's gonna die."
He'd jerked his thumb towards Zelda who was watching the two like a hawk.
"But sometimes, to get things done before they get bad, you gotta act first. Look. Courage. Power. Wisdom. That's what the Triforce breaks into, right? You get the piece you most resemble. But Courage without Power just leads you to an early death. Power, without Wisdom, makes you overextend yourself in stupidity. Wisdom, without Courage, makes you weak. Courage, without Wisdom as well, leads you to dying too soon. Power, without Courage, turns you into an easily killed coward. And Wisdom, without Power, means your words will never be heeded. You got me, Kid?"
"Kind of."
"Good enough. Listen. You do what you gotta do. And sometimes, that means killing someone before they can grow into a bigger threat. So I'm gonna give you some advice. When the time comes, none of this chivalry crap. Not worth an oasis in the desert. You get in there, you don't waste time, you don't waste breath. You get in, do your deed, and get out. No grandstanding, no final words, no monologuing. Get in. Get it done. Get out."
"…have you done that before?"
"Too many times to count, kid. Part of being Thief King. Assassinations, assassination attempts on me, I've done it all. And the worst of it is when the assassin talks. Talking gives time for everything to go wrong. So be quick. Be quiet. Be gone."
Quick, Quiet, Gone.
…the most annoying thing was that when they weren't fated to fight each other, he could…he would end up understanding Gannondorf. Thief King, the rare male Gerudo warrior. Always after Power. But it wasn't until they were pulled out of their own lives, made playthings of by the Hands, did he realize that it wasn't just power he needed.
Gannondorf was cursed to never understand, never grow, always be that static figure seeking power and doing whatever he could to keep it.
…and he never would be able to. Not after today.
…
I have 50 Seeds, 20 nuts – damn that's right this is before I could get either of those extended pouches – ten sticks, my sword, my shield which I need to ditch before this…gotta ditch my hat too, and Saria's…
…oh Saria…what would you think of me now…?
He could contact her. He could. Play her song, even on the Fairy Ocarina, and he could talk to her. He could…
…he couldn't.
He couldn't.
He couldn't burden her with what he was about to do. What he had done. She wasn't the sage yet. She was still innocent. She was still just a pretty and fairly magically powerful Kokiri.
…he wouldn't take that from her.
I could…I could die doing this. I could fail and be locked up for the attempt. A lot could go wrong…
…he didn't have wisdom. Hell, technically, he didn't even have Courage. There was no branding on the back of his hand, no glow of Godly Force. He was, as of right now, just a normal Hylian kid.
…but he knew. He knew what was to come. He knew that if he met Zelda he might lose it and just start beating on her till Impa dragged him off and broke his arms. He knew he'd flail and struggle and maybe get a lucky shot in and probably use his damn teeth to hold his sword to gut the little idiot princess and-
Oh wow I hate her. Kotake's saggy shins I hate her. I didn't even know that was possible for me to hate someone that much.
He shook his head. He had to stop thinking about Zelda. Maybe…maybe after this a few years of being away from her would let it fade but…right now he'd probably die trying to kill her.
So it was time to focus that hate onto Gannondorf.
Before it was too late.
INFILTRATING A MONARCHY
It was time.
He'd oh so wanted to keep it but he buried his favorite floppy hat. Caked mud all over his Deku Shield to hide as much of the swirl crest as he could. Left his boots behind in some childish attempt to be quieter.
Absently he cursed Zelda in his mind again. If only Sheik had done more than just show up, play a song, flash him that fabulous ass, and then vanish. He could have used Sheika infiltration skills right now. Especially since he was resolved to harm as few of the castle inhabitants as possible.
Zelda never told me if anyone in the castle was on Gannondorf's side. Just that he was the big evil. And that dream I had before-
No.
Now was not the time to think of that. Thoughts about those memories led to thoughts of Navi which led to a bad place.
The flame of hate burned ever so slightly brighter.
His slingshot would be useless. All the guards wore helms and even his accuracy wasn't good enough to always hit them in the face. Not to mention the seeds did very little damage to anything that wasn't super squishy or weak. Stunning implements at best, but even against the lazier guards, they'd recover too quick.
And lazy they were.
The first door he found, right after slipping through the fountain exit, was unlocked.
He'd opened it slowly, slipping quietly inside, thankful that the hinges had been well kept. It wasn't a room he'd entered, however; but a hallway. Sticking to what few shadows he could find, pressing his back almost fully against the wall, he peered around carefully. No movement.
Go.
The next five minutes of his life were tense as he crept low beneath window sills, hid behind statues and followed in the footsteps of patrolling guards, matching move for move and twisting around them as they turned. It was difficult to keep mind of where he was in relation to Zelda's garden, knowing that the chamber in which the meeting of Kings was taking place, had windows facing right out of it.
Luckily for him, a series of windows of very familiar figures clued him in to his location.
…Hyrule Castle has stained glass windows of Bowser, Peach and Mario.
…Farore's flapping fanny WHY does-UGH. Whatever at least I know where I am now.
He did.
Because he was hidden behind a statue right outside the meeting room.
Which had its doors wide open.
…he could turn around right now.
Just leave and pretend none of it ever happened. Let fate run its course and ignore everything to do with Zelda or all of this.
It wasn't too late.
…except it was.
If nothing else…
He had to protect his people. Not the Hylians. The Kokiri.
Gannondorf had already killed the Great Deku Tree. He'd probably already messed with the Gorons and the Zora too.
…and if he didn't stop him now, he'd trash Lon Lon and subject Malon to that…asshole Ingo.
…Nobody deserved Ingo.
Not even Zelda.
He took a deep breath, reaching into his pouch.
ASSASSIN OF TIME
"Well then, King Gannondorf. Shall we adjourn for the coming eve? A set of guest quarters has been-
10
*CRACKA-KAKA-KAKA-KANG*
A series of multiple flashes of light and loud bangs blinded and deafened everyone in the room.
Even the rising Gannondorf.
The guards stumbled around, the King himself had dropped into his throne in agony. Nobody heard the frantic thmp-thmp-thmp-thmp of cloth-laden small feet. Not a soul could discern the sound of metal ringing in the air as steel came to life. But one being, felt the effects.
As a small child, raised by Kokiri, had latched onto his back.
Gannondorf stumbled forward, trying to regain his balance at the sudden unexpected weight. Body and mind disoriented by the flashbangs of thrown Deku Nuts, the Gerudo King was debilitated and at the mercy of whoever the attacker was.
True, he was a powerful mage and swordsman of his own right, but this caught him completely off guard. He had been smug. He had been cocky. He had come in 'peace' and made no overtures of violence or conquest. He had them eating out of the palm of his hand.
Speaking of hands. The one that gripped his nostrils and yanked his head back was scarily small. Blinded still by the now fading flash, he tried to reach up to grasp the leech that had attached itself to him but reacted too slow.
For now a sharp, violent pain had raced across his neck.
It was disgusting…really.
Killing always is. Be it monster or man.
A quick swipe of my sword along his skin, digging as deep as I could push it while keeping my balance, and blood flowed.
His hands reached for his neck, trying to stop the flow. Maybe to heal himself. Maybe not.
I couldn't have that.
So I did something stupid.
I kicked off his back like one of those springs in the other place. I'd been so used to tumbling that the back-flip I did failed to disorient me in the slightest. Gannondorf's body bowed forward from the force of my jump.
Which was a little surprising but the man was trying to stop from bleeding out through his neck.
But I was in the air, and gravity was now dragging me back down.
Which it would.
With my sword below me.
The older me called it just the 'downstab'. Mario and Luigi had likened it to being on a pogo stick, whatever that was.
Bowser thought it was a neat trick and wondered if he could do the same with his spiked shell.
And the man below me?
He had happily copied us with his own two feet.
Never did understand how he managed to generate enough force to bounce someone off of the ground.
Must be a Power thing.
But I came down on his head. Praying that my tiny Kokiri Sword was sharp enough.
It was.
I slipped through his skull like butter. The force threw him face first into the ground, me landing on top of him.
It was dirty…but to be safe, I violently yanked my sword out of his head and stabbed through the back of his neck as well.
Quick. Quiet.
Now I had to work on the gone.
I reached into my pouch and whipped out three more Nuts.
7
Sheathed my blade and ran. Tossing them behind me back into the chamber.
My mad dash took me into view of an arriving group of soldiers. Another fumbled reach and I tossed a handful at them.
3
The flashes and bangs stunned them and I lowered my head, tucked my arm into my chest and barreled through. We all collapsed in a tangle of limbs and armor but I got up as quickly as I could and booked it.
Stealth had gone out the window.
Which I'd thought about…but didn't want to just dive into a group of guards…even if it was more than likely that they'd have rushed into the castle proper by now.
I'd run a frantic, lung-burning pace back to the doorway that had been my access. Which was just being closed by a poor maid.
I'd bellowed at the top of my flagging lungs for her to open it. She jumped in surprise and whirled around. She must have seen the blood on my tunic as she shrieked in fright but proceeded to obey.
Racing past her I grabbed my other pouch and tossed a handful of its contents in her direction.
-45/99
She'd probably need the sleep aids after seeing me.
I bellyflopped onto the stone fountain and power-crawled through the service channel, flopping out and into the moat with a bubbling splash. Dragging myself out of the water, I knew, I was exhausted.
I'd grabbed my half-buried hat and shield, threw on my boots, tried to squeeze out as much water as I could from my tunic but knew I was on a time-limit.
So I took a gamble.
I pulled out the Fairy Ocarina and prayed.
Six notes later, and a wave of glittering lights…and I was free.
I may not be opening its door, but the Temple of Time was my Temple.
Damn I'd never been so thankful for Saria. It wasn't the Ocarina of time but this was made by Kokiri magic. The magic of Life, of the Forest.
…
Once I get out of here…I'll see about fixing the Goron's problems with King Dodongo.
…Guess I might as well get Ruto out too…
Stay away from here for a bit…then maybe go see Malon…ask if Talon'd put me up for a bit…
But…right now…I think…I think I'm gonna curl up behind the pedestal and take a nice nap…
TIME CONTINUES ON
For months it was a flurry of news. On everyone's tongue.
Someone had assassinated the King of Gerudo in the middle of a meeting with their King. The Thief King was the only one harmed in the slightest, though the guards and the King himself were attacked as well, with a series of flashing explosions.
Impa stayed silent about those, knowing they had to have been expertly thrown Deku Nuts, clustered together for a larger effect. It was a Sheika tactic to disorient a room of foes to silence them in a single circuit.
Link's murder of Gannondorf had a witness, however.
She had seen it.
She had seen him drop from the sky like a bird of prey, sword dripping blood like the ichor soaked talons of a fresh hunt.
She had watched him impale the dark, evil man with the terrifying grin right through the top of the skull.
And she knew, that everything had changed.
Time passed as is its lot.
Link had used a combination of teleport songs and his own wits to solve the issues that Gannondorf had created before his end. Once again, he had become Brother of Goron, and now that he knew better, he'd refused the Sapphire thus sparing him the impromptu engagement to Ruto.
Which was good, because he was allowed to move in with Talon and Malon right after.
As he expected, his skill with taking care of Epona had quickly gotten him burrowed deep into the redhead's heart, and the time they spent together culminated in a very strong, loving relationship.
…well internally at least.
With how they sniped at each other and sassed one another you'd think they were hated enemies forced to share the same house. But that was just Malon's way, and Link learned well the arts of battle. Even verbal sparring.
However, it would be all changed, one day, seven years after he murdered Gannondorf before the evil King's plans could even truly begin.
As a very loud explosion erupted right outside the ranch.
Link and Malon had reached the small crater that had been formed by the unexpected explosion. From the dusty smoke, tumbled forth a tall figure in orange and yellow. Link's mind froze, body too locking up, Malon plowing into his back before catching herself from falling on her rear from the recoil.
She was about to sass at Link when the orange figure crackled with blue-white discharge, shuddering and rippling violently. A loud series of cracking noises followed by metallic clinking and unusual sounds, precluded a flare of white-tinged golden light. A blue hued figure spilled out from the glow, crumpling to the ground with a loud annoyed groan.
Link's eyebrows shot up as he recognize the figure, now rising, canary yellow hair pulled in a tight high ponytail, fluttering away with the motion of her shaking head.
"That's gonna be a bitch and a half to fix later…greedy bastards better let me get a Smash Ball when I get back…" the woman grumbled.
Shaking the lead out, the woman stood up and noticed her audience. And then quickly recognized one.
"Well, looks like I made it. Hey, Link."
"S-Samus? What are you-
"THAT'S Samus?!"
Link jolted in surprise. He'd temporarily forgotten that Malon was behind him. Said redhead was looking between him and Samus incredulously. "…yeah…?"
Malon stared him in the eyes, mouthing soundlessly, a look of absolute shock on her face, before her head slowly turned to the now a little embarrassed blonde.
"…so…you got a thing for redheads who're good at wranglin' cows at all?"
Samus' head jerked back in surprise and Link just was flat-footed.
"Malon!"
"What?!" The redhead retorted. "You said she was pretty, not 'I can break your neck with m'thighs and you'd be moaning in bliss while I do it' hot!"
"Wha-i-bu-
She quickly turned back to the now chuckling Samus.
"If I let you have a ride on m'boyfriend you think I could get a turn?"
"MALON!"
"Tempting as the offer is, I don't think we have the time for it." Was the response.
Malon quickly turned to Link. "That wasn't a no, by the way."
Cue facepalm from Link, and another chuckle from Samus.
"Anyway, my ship got stuck in the inbetween and I got launched out of the dimensional fissure near that big mountain over there." She pointed in the direction behind the two, where in the distance, Death Mountain could be seen.
"My armor is, once again, broken." She sighed out with annoyance. "But I came to get you, Link. The Hands are getting grabby again and we could use the help."
Understanding what Samus was saying, Link was about to nod when Malon cut in.
"Wait. Grabby Hands. You mean the things that yanked you when you were in that time rift thingie?"
"Sounds like it." Link admit.
"Right. I'm coming with."
Link nodded and then caught himself.
"Malon, wait you-
"You've been teaching me how to fight since we were kids, Link. I can handle a bunch of never-dying skeletons I can handle fighting whatever it is you're gonna be fighting in there dammit. Especially if we've got her with us."
"Malon, I…"
"Link. I'm not letting you leave me behind this time. You think I've been dragging you deep-lake diving and Death Mountain climbing for the hell of it?"
He blinked. And then it dawned on him.
He'd told her his story. The whole thing. One night, when they were younger. A year after he'd killed Gannondorf maybe. She cried then. She cried and cried and cried and he was afraid he'd get kicked out for making her cry but she wasn't crying for her she was crying for him.
And then less than a month after that, she jumped him and threw mud down his tunic.
"Come at me, Fairy Boy!"
She'd been tussling with him for years. Wrangling farm animals gave one a set of particularly strong muscles but she'd demanded he teach her how to fight. And she learned. And she fought. And she fought dirty.
The Stalchildren and their larger relations, had long since ceased trying to get into Lon Lon ranch. Malon would occasionally drag him out in the middle of the night to go 'hunting' as she called it.
She'd gotten scarily good at making arrow tips out of their bones.
But she was right. She'd also occasionally drug him out to Lake Hylia and Death Mountain after trips towards Kakariko Village, citing she wanted to go Rock Climbing or Swimming and no the small cliffs outside Lon Lon weren't good enough she wanted real practice.
And she got it. After years of occasional broken bones and sprained muscles and general aches and fatigues she was a hardened hard hitting sassy as hell warrior maiden.
She'd been training them both.
And it was that realization that made him fall in love with her all over again.
"…you sure?"
"Bring it on, Fairy Boy. I'm not letting this be another Gerudo Desert."
Link sighed. "You wanted me to take you there. As a birthday gift, remember?"
"Yeah but it don't mean I can't regret it almost as much as I do not letting you cut that saggy sack of shit Ingo's hands off for grabbing my ass!"
He sighed again. "We might meet them."
"Don't care. I want in. I want a vacation."
He rolled his eyes. "Only you, Malon, would think that going to another dimension to fight Farore knows what, is a vacation."
"Damn right. Now gimme a sec."
She raced off towards one of the barns. Link was about to apologize to Samus about the tag-along when Malon's voice yelled out.
"AY PA! I'M GOIN KILLIN'"
"THE COWS FED?"
"YEAH!"
"HAY BALED UP?"
"YEAH!"
"ARRIGHT THEN JUST DON'T COME BACK DEAD OR PREGNANT!"
"IF IT'S LINK'S IS IT OKAY?!"
There was an embarrassing minute of silence. Link had bowed his head, shoulders slumped, while Samus was bent over, cackling next to him.
"I MEAN I GUESS!"
"SWEET! YOU'RE THE BEST, PA!"
"She's…certainly got some lungs on her." Samus quipped.
"Please don't let her hear you say that. She'll probably follow up with offering to give you a hands-on demonstration."
"Whose's hands are demonstrait'n what now?"
Link just responded with a pained groan. Malon gave a sharp grin, having arrived with two horses.
"Wait, why do you get Epona?" Malon responded to his question with a question posed to Samus.
"You ever ride a horse before?"
"…uhh…no. Not really, no."
Malon turned back to Link. "And there you have it."
"That doesn't explain why you get Epona."
"Link, sweetie, Epona doesn't do strangers too well still and you really want me riding behind her?"
"…she'd break your nose on reflex."
"Exactly, I like my nose where it is, hun."
Link sighed again. "Well…you're not wrong I guess…"
"I mean it's not like I'd want to break her nose." Samus added as an aside. "Especially since it sounds like she'd rather I break her bed."
Link groaned again as Malon's eyes positively glittered.
"On second thought maybe we should switch it up. Some things do require a woman's touch after all."
"Dammit woman get on Epona already." Link grumbled. Malon just cackled. Turning to Samus, he queried her.
"Do we have a time limit?"
Samus shrugged. "Dunno really. Last I saw before I got booted from my ship was that the next distortion would open at sunset."
"It's about a half-hours ride to Kakariko if we're going at a decent pace, fifteen at full sprint but that tires out the horses and even Epona would get a little winded. Since you've never ridden a horse we'll have to keep it slower for a bit till you get your stride." Malon supplied.
"We've got time though. And if all else fails-
"I am not waiting all damn day again, Fairy Boy."
"I'm just saying if we needed to…"
"And doesn't that song just cycle day to night to day again anyway?"
"…clattering Deku Baba you're right." Malon adopted a smug grin.
"Your weird music magic has its uses, Fairy Boy but it's not the answer for everything."
He shook his head at his girlfriend. "Ain't that the truth."
"So. Onward! To adventure!" Malon cheered. Samus chuckled and Link…
Well.
Link just smiled.
Even knowing he'd probably have to see Zelda and Gannondorf again.
It had been seven long years. And nobody bothered them until now.
He wouldn't forget. But he'd forgiven them. He'd been right. Time was what he needed. Time to relax. To live. To be.
Still, would have been less of a hassle if he'd been able to just do things right.
But then again, as he felt Samus' bountiful bosom pressing against his back, fighting the urge to stiffen up and further ignoring the absolutely smug, knowing grin on his girlfriend's face…
Zelda messed up.
But maybe…maybe that was part of her destiny as well.
Guess I'll find out soon enough.
…
…oh god Malon's going to be a terror paired up with Jigglypuff isn't she?
…
Oh GOD Malon's going to meet Peach!
…Farore have mercy on me I don't think I can handle these women…
Endia~