Note: I'm ashamed for starting a new story but this one has been hunting me for weeks! I've started rewatching the anime, and rereading the manga because I decided to rewrite For the love of a Queen. So after the first episode, I just realized "Dear God, this shows primary premise was to screw Zero over repeatedly. What a sadistic bunch of writers" and because I too am sadistic I decided to hurt our poor Zero (But, hey! At least I'll give him a happy ending!)
Thus I present you Sophrosyne, I know it's not much for a prologue but I'd love hear your thoughts even for this small piece. The story is also on Ao3 under the same name.
To give you some info, the story also has: Yori/Zero (friendship), Yori/Kaito (briefly), Zero/Oc (briefly)
Sophrosyne
(n.)
a healthy state of mind, characterized by self-control, moderation,
and a deep awareness of one's true self, and resulting in true happiness
Can I ask you something?
He goes there every day.
Precisely half past two.
It is ten minutes before the coffee is supposed to officially close for the day.
She doesn't know why she started watching him in the first place. At first it was curiosity – like gazing a beautiful swan at a lake – but what happens when the swan swims away, what happens when you decide to follow it?
That's a lie; she didn't follow him. She stood where she was and waited for him to return (which he did for his own reasons)
He has become regular at this point, always coming once a week the same day, the same time, ordering the same thing at the same coffee shop.
Some humans are intrigued enough to watch him from afar as well, (if anyone is a brave soul, they might even talk to him)
Silly things
But people come and go, like storms on bad days. They move on and soon, they forget.
One of the main reasons that humans lose their enthusiasm in life is because they become ungrateful in time. They let what was once a miracle to become common to them (if only they knew the true hardships of survival, of life). They get so accustomed to everything they have been given freely that they forget how blessed they truly are.
She supposes she cannot false them; no one has ever been sinless.
Nevertheless, she is not real – well, not anymore – she once used to breathe but it's barely a memory now. She's frozen in time, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
Eternity is such a long time to pass when you're dead. But she has found herself drawn back to the humans, which is an irony, in this case, if one thought deeply. She doesn't usually observe them more than how they observe their box with the pictures.
His presence, however, is comforting; like a warm blanket during the cold air, or a shelter under the rain; his presence makes her silence almost bearable and she wonders whether to take him with her or not. Perhaps, she should slit his through with her long nails while he rests or squish his tiny heart with her rough hands when he cries. Whichever road she chooses, death, she decides, would be beautiful on this lovely child.
Is someone chasing you?
Thus she stays frozen in her place; incapable to move forward but impossible to go back, always watching, always waiting.
From time to time, she thinks she can do this forever(she can watch him till his last heart breath and he would still keep her attention) while other times she just want to kill the little imp merely to see what happens next.
In his every heartbeat, she's careful; it would be dangerous for her to cross the line and become obsessed but she only wants to be provided with some entertainment.
She knows his fairytale (she has known the minute she saw him; from the day he was brought in the mortal world with his other half, till the last thing he did before he arrive at the coffee shop) she almost wishes she could sympathize. Almost. His life has been tragic to this point but she has seen worse cases so she knows if he's truly strong he can get over it and move on.
However, knowing somebody's story doesn't mean knowing the person himself. And for the first time after centuries she feels the desire for something, to find out about the protagonist of this ridiculously sad tale; what were his dreams, desires, goals?
Perhaps she's not even as interest as she thought. Maybe she's bored
Not yet. But they will when they find out who I am.
Back in her time, a name represented an identity, a deep feeling and held tremendous significance to its owner. But did that mean he was given the name because he was nobody?
Cipher, nought.
Was it some punishment given by the child's parents? She can only wonder.
But, if that wasn't the case…
How can nothing be something?
Oh really, then who are you?
While his tale continues to slowly unfold, she was certain the more she watched, the easier it would be for her resolve about the urchin's end.
If she is honest with herself, she doesn't even know why she even contemplates about this waif's lifespan, but in truth, she doesn't know a lot of things in her existence. Like why she wastes her time on this creature (that's a lie; she has plenty of time none of which is precious).
Zero
She wasn't obsessed, just passionately curious and thus she would remain in her place as she judges silently and frozen.
Note:
Since I used it in the prologue, I feel the need to mention:
The ancient Greeks had no symbol for zero (μηδεν), and did not use a digit placeholder for it. They seemed unsure about the status of zero as a number. They asked themselves, «How can nothing be something? » leading to philosophical and, by the medieval period, religious arguments about the nature and existence of zero