A/N: I thought this was a bit crack and I doubt it will make it into any of my various stories, so I figured I'd go ahead and post it. It's set in the Shattered Identity AU and for those that have read it, it's the beginning of April, 2011, about a month after the last chapter of Shattered Identity, "Resolve."

For those who haven't read it, I'll recap the points you need to know to read this:

Gabriel Grey/Sylar's memories were integrated with Nathan's. Nathan and Peter had a past sexual relationship. Gabriel eventually managed to renew this relationship with Peter, initially posing as Nathan and then later revealing himself as Gabriel. By now, all… er, most of the fireworks from that have burned out and they're on good terms, still together.

Gabriel (while posing as Nathan), hooked up with Heidi. She got a slightly different version of the truth, which was that Nathan's ability was to absorb other people's abilities, hence the range of powers he had. And that Parkman had inflicted the memories of Gabriel Grey onto him in order to stop him from gaining powers and being unstable. Anyway, they have a satisfying married relationship now and Gabriel sees Peter on the side.

Peter and Gabriel attend meetings of the Company board of directors at the Petrelli mansion where Michael Fitzgerald (canon character, enhanced strength, now somewhat mind-programmed by Parkman) works as a guard.

Oh, and Nathan had an obsession with nice clothes.

Peter and Gabriel walked out of the board meeting and into the entry. Gabriel put a hand briefly on Peter's arm. "Hang on a moment. I need to do something. I almost forgot." He walked over to Michael Fitzgerald, who was watching the attendees filter out with a blank expression, his thoughts obviously elsewhere. He brought his attention around on the man walking to him with a hand extended.

Gabriel smiled at him. "Hey. I wanted to shake your hand and thank you for doing such a good job here." They shook. Michael looked slightly bewildered. "Good job." Gabriel patted his arm and released him, heading out with Peter.

Peter waited until they were outside to say, "That was nice of you."

Gabriel shrugged. "Seemed like the best cover for it."

"Cover for what?" They walked towards Gabriel's car.

"I needed to touch him, that was all." Gabriel circled to the driver's side as Peter paused at the passenger door.

"Oh." Peter looked across the car at him, over the top. "Why did you need to touch him?"

"Present for Heidi." Gabriel got in and put the keys in the ignition. Peter got in as well, settled himself and put on his seatbelt.

"Seatbelt."

"What?" Gabriel started the car.

"Wear your seatbelt."

"Peter, I regenerate."

Peter gave a long-suffering sigh. "Just put it on, okay? Make me happy. It's the illusion of being a normal person. You don't need to wear clothes either and yet you do."

Gabriel put on his seatbelt and laughed. "Would you rather I didn't?"

Peter sniggered at the thought of Gabriel going around naked, using the limited illusory powers that came with shape shifting to make everyone think he was clothed. "Um… no." He blushed despite himself, thinking less than pure thoughts.

"How do you know I really have clothes on now?" He was grinning as he pulled away from the curb, heading back to Peter's apartment.

"Because you hadn't thought about it before now!"

"You know next time we're in the bedroom I'm going to be in a suit that's not there, right?"

Peter buried his face in his hands. He'd given Gabriel a way to fulfill his clothes fetish without endangering any actual clothing. I'll never see the man naked again! Trying to think of something to bring the conversation back to a serious topic, he asked, "So why did you need to touch him again?"

"I told you - for Heidi." Gabriel gave him an odd expression, something like a leer. Peter decided it must have been a holdover from the earlier clothes topic.

"I don't get it."

Gabriel took a deep breath and said, "Now… don't you go getting any ideas. I do this for her. I'm not… I'm not ready to do this with you yet. You've still got that Nathan thing going on in your head. I can see it."

Peter frowned and said nothing, trying to piece together the logic. He was missing something. He ignored the barb about Nathan.

The other man went on. "Michael's really well-endowed."

Peter barely caught his jaw from dropping open as it all fit together, including Gabriel's unexpected detour earlier into dirty thoughts. "You… ah… how do you know that?"

Gabriel gave him a level look. He looked back at the road for a while and when Peter didn't say anything, he answered, "I only have to shift into someone for a few seconds, Peter. I just kept going through all the men I'd touched until I found what I wanted. There was another guy about the same, looked Arabic. I guess I met him at Halo, but he's worn off already. I have to have touched them within the last few weeks, maybe a month."

"You…" Peter looked at his own groin and then back to Gabriel. "You… you shape shift into different men to… to…?"

"It was her idea, Peter. Not mine. You know how I am about my face."

Peter was silent, trying to tell himself that Heidi was a normal woman with normal desires and this sort of experimentation was also safe and normal. It was like dress-up, or role play. He was having trouble convincing himself of that. "But… she knows Michael. How can she… Aren't you afraid she'll…" He shook his head, failing to wrap it around the idea.

Gabriel laughed. "Am I afraid she'll dump me for him?" He laughed again. "Why would she? I've got everything he has. It's not like she's running off to Saudi to find that other guy. She knows it's me no matter what form I'm in. I don't know how she knows, but she does. That's the only reason I do it." He paused for a long moment. "Well, that and the sounds she makes." He smiled softly to himself.

"Shut up, please Gabriel. I don't want to know."

The other man smiled smugly at Peter, who had put his palm over his face and was shaking his head. Peter finally put his hand down and said, "Isn't that… an invasion of people's privacy?"

"Who's?"

"The people you touch? You really went through all the men you knew and checked them out in front of the mirror?"

"Sure." He was shameless. "Well… I left a few out, ones I wouldn't have turned into anyway, no matter what. Arthur, Parkman, you, her family, a few really ugly guys, the neighbors, kids and the elderly and stuff. You know."

"You already know what I look like."

He shrugged. "Yeah, and she's not getting you in bed even if it's me."

Peter frowned slowly. "So you're jealous of her being with me, but not Michael."

Gabriel pulled into the parking garage next to Peter's apartment building, which was what he usually did if he was coming up. If he was just dropping Peter off, there was no need. He'd always asked before. He put the car in park and leaned over towards Peter, tilting his head and approaching his lips. "How do you know I'm not jealous of you being with her, hm?"

Peter kissed him, smiling now. When they broke apart, he chuckled and said, "Come on, tiger, let's go get that clothes thing out of your system. I know you're thinking about it."

Gabriel grinned, getting out of the car. "Oh, my thoughts aren't nearly as naked as I'm going to be!"