doesn't mean my heart stops skipping
Summary: Lost without families of their own, but in each other they found home. Austin&Ally. Auslly. AU.
Prompt: The SasuSaku fanfiction wild blue yonder and the song Please Don't Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin.
A/N: Idk tbh. I was inspired by the fanfiction I read, and I'm dying to write a fanfiction based on the song. So I combined them both and this came out and I don't know how it turned out tbh. The entire plot is a mess, I never knew where I was going with it. All I knew was, she's an orphan, he's an orphan and in the end they find a family or home in each other. I guess you could say I'm trying to be a little sentimental in this like trying to get across a point of being trapped in a place where you only know as much as your world allows you to know. Anyway, enjoy. And reviews are appreciated my lovelies :) PS - I really don't know about this title tbh.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer is applied.
She comes to the orphanage, cheeks stained with hot wet tears, and brown hair ever looking so soft. Her eyes are big, the color of doe that screams innocence, and the frown of her lips reminds him of home – leaving home.
She takes a shaky breath in, with all eyes focused on her and her broken fragile frame. She thinks they're all against her, but he'd like to tell her something different. That this is her home now and that it will be okay.
So when their eyes meet for the first time, she couldn't help but stare. Neither could he. And he gets a slap on the cheek – the pain is red and stinging, but nothing compared to what leaving home felt like – and he is reminded once again that it is impolite to stare and that he should never do it. Not to stare at someone sad, not to stare at someone new, just not to stare(1). And she gets off with a warning, and it makes him happy, because she is okay.
But she feels guilty and follows after him, into his room. She's the first person he's ever let in, and she will probably be the last.
She stares at the tattered painted walls, and dirty wooden door, and she wonders if her room is just as pretty as his. Because there's something sentimental about the antique air that lingers around them, and it almost feels like she's close to home. And, with her, he feels it too.
"I'm Ally. Ally Dawson." She tells him, eyes still up and staring all around her. He thinks she looks so pretty and innocent – the air of simplicity made her so real.
"Austin." He softly replies, taking her shoulder into his small but strong hand. And she turns to face him, doe eyes glowing with wonder and curiosity – and the innocence he promises to protect. "Would you like to be my friend?"
He stretches out his other hand, his eyes looking desperate – almost pleading at her for acceptance. And she just smiles, a bright beautiful smile, before launching herself into his arms.
"Yes." She whispers into his ear, and she feels his stiff body slowly reciprocate the hug. And before they know it, they're both holding each other tight.
That was the first time he let someone into his room. The first he let someone into his life.
xoxo
They still play with plastic swords, wooden daggers and toy guns. And he still wears a cape, and she still wears a crown.
He calls her Princess Ally, and claims to be the handsome and dashing prince charming. And she laughs. But sometimes, she wants to play Beauty and the Beast or Princess and the Frog and he thinks it's okay to be the beast, or the frog, as long as it's for her – as long as it's for Ally.
So when playtime comes, everyone is running around, chasing each other, play-fighting with each other. And a make-believe villain is holding her up at the top of the slide, and he, as her Prince Charming, must come to her rescue. So he climbs up the steep and slippy slope of the slide, fighting off pretend monsters and the hard cold wind blowing against his cheeks.
When he finally saves her, and all is well again, they stay there at the top, looking out at the perfect view of the playground. They can see all the other orphans, happily playing, happily chasing each other, and pretending to be this person and that person. And it makes them both wonder.
"Austin." She calls out to him, taking a short glance at him. He answers with a silent hum, eyes still focused out on the vast world before them – the only world they've ever known. She takes a deep breath before speaking again. "Do you think this will last forever?"
"What will?" He skeptically asks, although he already knew the answer to that.
"This. The orphanage. Us." She knows he knows, yet she still answers anyway.
"No." He answers truthfully, though she wishes he were lying instead. Because the truth hurts, and nobody likes getting hurt; specially her. "One day I'll be adopted. One day you'll be adopted. It won't be long before everyone here has finally found a family that will love them, and take them in."
"But Austin, you're my family." Ally whispers, swearing he couldn't hear. But he did.
A soft breeze blew past them, and she holds onto his hand tight, looking back out to the world. The world only they know, the only world they know.
"You're mine too." He answers back into the coming silence, and all he sees is orange skies and streaks of the setting sun.
She didn't have to look to know that he was crying. That was first time she saw him crying. But it was only one lone tear, the only one he'll ever let out. And she thinks herself special to him, because that was the first, and last time she's sure he's ever cried – and she's the only one there to witness it.
xoxo
They're growing up. She's twelve going thirteen in less than a month, and before they know it, she's not the same old Ally Dawson with the innocent face, innocent eyes, and that innocent smile. And he's not Austin anymore who's antisocial and a little mysterious.
They have friends now – other friends. She hangs out with Trish and Cassidy, two of the wildest, and most ill-tempered girls in the orphanage. And he understands why; because they needed her. Because she could calm them down, balance them out, and put everything into place. Because she's Ally Dawson and to him, she'll always be that small little girl who wishes nothing else but to find home. And he, Austin Moon, has become the clown of the orphanage, and has befriended everyone – literally everyone.
They still have days together though. They still have Austin and Ally time. They still go to the little lake behind the orphanage, skipping rocks, and they still swing by the playground whatever chance they get. They still isolate themselves from the rest of the world in his room, and they still climb up the big old oak tree right outside the window of his room.
He plays the guitar for her, the very first time, as a gift before she turns thirteen. And he sings her songs he's heard on the radio. She's fascinated by the music, the lyrics, and the melody he sings. And she likes the sounds the guitar strings make once they've all been plucked together.
"Austin." She calls out to him one day, and he looks up from playing with his old acoustic guitar. He grins at her.
"Yeah Alls?" He asks, smile still intact, and his eyes gleaming with such a happy glow.
"Can you teach me?" She sits beside him on the cold wooden floor of his room, her head leaning onto his bed for support.
"To play the guitar?" His smile fades a little, and confusion takes over his features.
"Yes." Nodding simply, she looks down on the piece of paper before him, with guitar notes and chords drawn all over it. "I want to learn about music. I want to play it, feel it, sing it, and write about it. I want to know what it's like, to be musical."
He smiles a little at her, whilst he laid his guitar down on the ground. He wraps his finally free arm around her shoulder, and pulls her closer to him, kissing her very forehead. And then, he speaks of a promise.
"One day Alls, I swear to you, I'll buy you a piano. And then you can play, and write, and sing all the music in the world." And there's a hand of his wrapped around her small fragile one, and she's humming a tune he's never heard.
And that night was the first time Ally sang the first song she's ever written.
xoxo
Two years had gone by and him and her have been through interviews and interviews for families and families that kept piling in, wanting to adopt them – or him.
And one morning he doesn't expect it, but she's knocking at his bedroom door, eyes red and puffy, with cheeks wet with tears. And shyly, she asks him to let her in. But she didn't need to do that. She's always welcome into his room – it is their home after all.
Her insecurities rise and her walls start to crumble down. She's asking again and again what's wrong with her, and why no one ever wants to adopt her. She's screaming, crying, beating at his chest and blaming him for everything – even though they both know it's not his fault. But he lets her do as she pleases because he cares, and he wants to make her happy. And if she has to throw at him all her problems and insecurities just so she can smile again, then it's okay. Ally's smile is worth it anyway – it's always worth it.
She tells him that people don't see her as good enough, and he tells her that it's not true. And then she comments on how he's not affected by this at all. Affected by how nobody wants to adopt him either, and why nobody wants someone as great and as amazing as him. He doesn't respond for a while. He doesn't mention how there has been offers and how he turned them all down, for her – because of her. Instead, he tells her she's beautiful, and that she's wonderful, and amazing.
And he pulls her in for a hug and whispers more promises into her ear. Promises he knows he's going to keep.
"Ally, it's okay that no one wants me out of this place." He lies through his teeth, but he does it so smoothly, you could never tell. "It gives me more time with you."
"But you deserve to get out of here Austin. You have so much going for you," She whispers and he holds her tighter. "I don't want to hold you back forever."
"No one's holding me back Ally. Specially not you." His hand runs through her soft brown hair, and he feels her thin body shake under his hold. "One day we'll get out of here, together. And the people who didn't see how great you were, how amazing you were, how truly beautiful and wonderful you were – are – will regret ever missing a chance of being with you."
There's a soft kiss onto her forehead placed. And they slept like that, together that night.
Outside the wind blew hard onto the old oak tree, and the night shined with millions of stars. But no beauty in the outside world could compare to the way his lips touched hers that night, and the magic in their first kiss.
xoxo
They're eighteen now and the orphanage is no longer responsible for them. They needed to get out of that place – they wanted to, too.
He's grown so much since the first time around. He's tall, lean and muscular, but some things never did change. His hair was still blonde, sandy and wavy, and the way he smiled was still so pretty. His eyes, though they gleamed with more happiness than ever, stayed the same color of brown and chivalrous mischief.
She's grown too. Her hair, long with dyed tips of blonde, and her doe eyes still wide, brightly shining under the city lights. But her smile was gentle, with more etiquette and grace. And he couldn't help but love it. He loved her smile so much.
And they're loading up his newly-bought chevy truck – it's old and beat up, and he got it cheap from an old garage store; but it does it's job – with all their things and clothes and belongings. They're ready for take off into the unknown world, ready to get out of the only life they've ever known for the past twelve years.
She's excited to see what the world has to offer. The places she's been deprived of all her life, and the people she never had a chance to meet. And he's happy that she's happy, because he gets to be there for her and experience it all with her.
It rains that day and he's reminded of all the families he's turned down for her, and all the opportunities he's given up for her. She still doesn't know. And he'd never tell her.
The water lightly pours on them and she thinks of all the crazy movie scenes with kisses in the rain and dances in a storm. And she wants to feel what it's like to be the lucky damsel in those films. So she takes hold of his hand and pulls him with her, down to the middle of the road, and he laughs as she throws her head back, feeling the cold December rain pelting at her face. And they're dancing, twirling and skipping through the street, soaking wet yet feeling so warm inside.
And once they stop, they look into each other's eyes, and silent words were spoken. He opens his mouth, about to tell her the feelings he's been having all this time. And she knows what he's about to say, and stops him before he could get it all out.
"Please don't say you love me, because I might not say it back(2)." She whispers, eyes still locked onto his. "My biological parents, they never knew what true love was. But they kept telling each other, I love you and it sickened me. I don't want to hear those words from you, and I don't want to say those words to you. They're overrated, and overused. We don't need to tell each other that we love each other to prove that we do love each other. I'm sure you already know how I feel. But Austin, actions speak louder than words."
"I won't say I love you." He promises her one last time. "But that doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that."
"I'm glad we're here. You're my home, my family, my happiness, my everything." And with that simple confession, no other words needed to be said. Because their lips touched for one sweet moment, for one sweet kiss, and no I love you's were exchanged.
Because she's right, the action spoke louder than the words.
A/N: Yeah, okay, I'll update The Hurricane after my Math exam next Friday. I'm going to try and focus on that when there's no distractions on the way. 'Til then I'll probably pop in with a few one-shots every now and then. Whenever I feel inspired. Okay, bye. OH. I'm going to see R5 on July 3/5, depending on which of my parents is off work. I can't wait, yay! :)
1 – This concept is directly taken out of the fanfiction wild blue yonder and I found it ever so lovely and true and idk I just wanted to imply it here.
2 – The start of the chorus to Please Don't Say You Love Me :)