They say the horizon just keeps going on forever but Winry had always planted her feet. There was no wandering spirit whispering in her ear or far off lands calling her name. Instead it was her own voice that came out loud and clear, the same voice that had finally spoken the truth. "Don't leave."
He was pitying her and Winry wished he would just put her out of her misery and go instead of standing there as if toying with the idea of staying. She imagined then that her heart was a sheet of ice and every step created fissures, cracks that were rapidly expanding, and with one word he might sink her beneath the surface altogether.
"You know I have to." He was trying to meet her gaze.
Did she though? Did she really acknowledge that there was something that could be more important than this moment? It was selfish, and Edward deserved better but just once Winry wanted to be his sun, the very thing his world revolved around. Maybe then he might understand why she had to ask, why she almost pleaded with him not to go again. Two years wasn't enough, no time would ever be enough to satisfy what she really wanted.
Maybe she shouldn't have drank too much and allowed him in her room. Two years of pent up frustration and flirting had culminated in a all-consuming moment and now it felt as if the gravity of the world had vanished leaving her floating in uncertainty. Why had he agreed? Worse why did it still not make him stay?
"It's only for a little bit." He tried to assure, the awkwardness hovering around him like a moth to a flame.
Winry thought she should be more mature about it, that maybe losing her innocence might have also given her empathy. "Bad timing isn't it?" She half chuckled at the thought, if their life wasn't one long tragedy of poorly timed advances and fumbles.
"Winry, last night was-"
Winry met his eyes then, her feelings making it hard to breathe out the right words. Ones that wouldn't come with a litany of unresolved notions of what she wanted from him. "A mistake?"
His eyes widened before narrowing quickly. "That's not fair, I've made promises."
Promises? Somehow, she had forgotten that she wasn't the only one he had made a vow to. "I get it." That was a lie but she liked the way her words flung out like a safety net around her feelings.
"You don't." He chastised her, "Last night, it changed everything."
Winry wished the night had changed something other than her virginity because she felt like all that waiting and wondering had been for nothing. Maybe she had hoped to wake up a new woman, a strong woman who could trample her uncertainties into dust that would blow away with the wind. "How?"
He shoved his hands in his pockets as if he thought better about touching her again. "You're Winry."
Oh she knew who the hell she was and with every passing moment her hurt was beginning to churn into anger. "Clearly."
"No." He took a hand out and ruffed up his bangs as if it would help him make sense of his thoughts. "I can't, I just…Winry."
It sounded heartbreaking the way he sighed her name, like it had been rolling around on his tongue for a long time. That was confusing, Winry thought the way she acquiesced the night before might relieve them both of their doubts. Crossing her arms over her chest she tried to relieve the bubble of anxiety blooming in her chest. "I know who I am Edward, what I don't understand is what am I to you?"
At that it seemed she had struck a chord. He took a few steps towards her and a few steps away from his luggage. "Everything." He breathed out.
The way his voice dipped reminded her of the way he had groaned the night before. Their bodies had known exactly what it was their owners had wanted to say. Winry had a feeling their imaginations had been waiting for that moment to fulfill those late night dreams. Goosebumps rippled out over her skin as she thought about how intimately he had touched her.
"Everything?" Maybe his definition was different than hers. Everything was like air to breathe, water to quench thirst, food to ease the hunger.
"I told you." He licked his lips, "And if I don't leave now I won't ever go. I'll keep standing here feeling sorry for myself."
Maybe she had resorted to a crude trick, using her body to make him stay. Then again he had used his body to make her feel wanted and important. Winry thought that might negate her own selfishness.
He took another step towards her, using his palm to smooth the strands of blond hair that had escaped with the wind. "What if I asked you to come?"
Winry grabbed his wrist lowering it until his hand was clasped in hers. "Are you?"
He didn't look like Edward the boy she had grown up with just then. He looked like the man who had whispered something that sounded a lot like I love you into the crook her neck when he thought she was asleep. "Come with me Winry."
When she agreed Winry knew she was agreeing to more than just an adventure. Maybe Edward was her horizon and she would always follow him to the ends of the earth. But for a moment he had paused, the sun refusing to sink below the rim and she had caught him.