AN: This is based off the wonderful prompt by heroeswantredheads. There will be four parts to this fic. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Blacklist.

Does the FBI even have a Christmas party, my ass, Liz thought to herself as she remembered Red's words to one of his associates months ago. She hadn't bothered gracing him with an answer then because she had hoped that she would be able to get out of having to go, and that Red would never get wind of it and insist on going with her.

No such luck though.

Cooper had walked in her office only minutes ago and told her that the annual Christmas party was the next day and that she was "expected to go". She had seen the memos and the RSVP's for weeks now, but she had ignored them in hopes that no one would notice. Cooper's face had been non-compromising and humorless as he delivered his "order", so she had merely nodded in agreement and watched him turn and walk out without another word. His body had barely cleared the threshold of her office before she could no longer hold back her eyeroll. She didn't want to go. Those things only reminded her of better times, times that she would rather not dwell on anymore, because all it caused was bitterness to rise in her throat like bile.

She sighed loudly and threw her pen down on her desk as she put her face in her hand and leaned her elbow on the hard surface. Ressler happened to walk in right as her sigh ended.

"What's wrong, Keen?"

She rose her eyes to him without moving her head and glared with icy eyes. "Other than the fact that we're practically being ordered to go to the damn Christmas party? Nothing in particular," she said sarcastically.

Ressler sat down at his desk and threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Geez Keen, sorry I asked."

They stared unblinkingly at each other for a few more moments until he gave up and ended their stalemate as he picked up his pen and began his paperwork without saying anything else.

Liz sighed again and closed her eyes. She knew she needed to stop snapping at people, but it seemed like the only emotion she was able to muster these days was anger. It was familiar and easy. Other emotions were too complicated and easy for people to take advantage of, so she found herself falling back on anger more and more often.

Even Red had noticed and called her out on it, which had been one of the worst things he could have done; because in her mind, he was the one who had set the ball rolling on her path of destruction.

Opening her eyes slowly, she looked up at the clock and that it was after five. She could leave without getting in trouble; she couldn't concentrate anyway.

She tidied up her desk as best she could then stood up and slipped her coat on. Ressler still hadn't looked at her, but it afforded her the opportunity to look at him more closely. He looked like hell. There were bags under his eyes that hadn't been there before, his hands trembled slightly as he typed on his keyboard, and there was a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead when there shouldn't be. It wasn't hot in their office.

If she actually thought about it closely, his behavior had been worse than hers lately, and he adamantly refused to talk to anyone, stating that nothing was wrong with him. She wanted to ask him what was going on with him, but figured that would be a little hypocritical seeing as her behavior hadn't been much better.

They were a sad pair.

She finished with the buttons on her coat and reached over to squeeze Ressler's shoulder in a silent apology as she walked past him and out of their office. She would formally apologize to him later, but right now she just wanted to leave before something else set off her anger. Something like Red showing up and informing them about another dramatic attack somewhere in DC, or Samar showing up with Red and flirting shamelessly with him in front of her.

She gritted her teeth in annoyance. She was NOT going to think about that.

She wasn't jealous or possessive. She just didn't trust Samar.

That was all.

As if her thoughts had prompted him to call her, her phone rang as she stepped into the elevator. When she saw who it was, she unclenched her jaw and answered. "Red, please don't tell me you have a case, or you need to see me, or anything of that nature," she gritted out as she pushed the garage button in the elevator.

There was a quiet pause, then his subdued voice came through. "No, no nothing like that, Lizzie." If she let herself think about it, she would have realized that he used this tone with her more often than not these days. It was as if he was tiptoeing around her, afraid that she was going to snap at him once again. Which she had, so she couldn't blame him really.

She took a deep breath and tried to make her voice more pleasant. "Is there anything you need in particular then?"

He cleared his throat, and she could picture him wincing behind his amber sunglasses. "I wanted to know if you needed a ride to the Christmas party tomorrow."

All pretense of civility flew out the window. "You're going? Seriously? Did Cooper even invite you?"

He snorted in derision. "Of course he did. Would you like a ride or not? If not, then I think I'll take up Ms. Navabi's offer and accompany her."

She knew he was trying to make her angry, jealous even. He knew her too well.

The elevator doors slid open and she strode out angrily. "No, I don't need a ride," she spat. "Thanks anyway." Then she hung up and practically threw her phone in her purse. Dammit, she was angry again. And it was because of Red...again.

Why did he evoke so much anger in her?

She slid in her car and leaned her forehead on the steering wheel, then went through her mental exercises to calm herself. It didn't do anyone any good for her to drive angry. She tended to be reckless.

She made it home safely and loitered around her house for the rest of the afternoon and evening. She wasn't used to being home this early, but she didn't feel like doing anything that made her think. So she played Candy Crush on her phone until it was time to go to bed, then she slipped in-between her cool sheets and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

She didn't even dream about Red for once.

OOOOOO

The next day, work passed by rather quickly. They weren't working on a case, so they spent the day locked in their office working on paperwork that had been backing up for weeks. She had apologized to Ressler as soon as he had shown up, and they passed the day in comfortable silence.

5:00 rolled around far too quickly for her tastes, and she had reluctantly bid Ressler farewell so she could go home and get ready for the dreaded party. He had smiled and told her he would see her later.

That had been two hours ago, and now she found herself standing in front of her full-length mirror studying her appearance. As much as she didn't want to go to the party, she had gone all out. But not to make Red jealous. She didn't care what he thought.

She really didn't.

She wore a crystal blue, sleeveless dress that hugged her body in all the right places and ended just above her knees with silver pumps. Her hair was pinned back in a messy bun, and she wore diamond studs in her ears with a matching necklace. She smiled at herself in the mirror. She knew she looked pretty, but she was doing this for herself. Not to make Red jealous.

She really wasn't.

OOOOOO

Liz handed her keys to the valet and studied the building in front of her. It was non-descript, but modern. Clean. Some kind of Lounge that the FBI had rented for the night. She shrugged internally. It was better than having it at the Post Office.

She walked inside and had to blink a few times for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The room in front of her was huge. There was a bar at the far side of the room, with festively decorated tables to the right of her and a large dance floor to the left. She slipped her coat off and handed it to the coat checker, then she walked further into the room and grimaced. There were Christmas decorations everywhere. It looked as if Santa had thrown up and this was the result.

There were multiple Christmas trees and lights around the room, and a lively rendition of "Jingle Bells" was playing over the speakers. Too loudly for her taste.

She saw many of her co-workers and nodded to them as she looked around the room for Ressler or Aram. She was NOT looking for Red.

She wasn't.

She finally spotted Aram sitting by himself in the corner on a white, comfortable looking couch playing on his phone. Relieved that she found somewhere to go, she walked over to him and plopped down next to him.

"Hey, Aram. Can I sit with you?"

Startled, he looked up and smiled brightly. "Hey Liz, I wasn't-" He stopped and swallowed nervously as he took in her appearance. "Wow, you look beautiful!" Then he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "Sorry, I mean you look..nice." He glanced away, but even in the dark she could see that he was blushing.

She laughed quietly and patted his arm. "Thanks, Aram. So how long have you been here?"

He looked back at her, having finally composed himself. "Oh, for like twenty minutes. Its been pretty boring if you ask me."

She continued to look around the room as she nodded. "Well if you sit in the corner, parties tend to be boring."

He leaned closer and whispered near her ear. "Mr. Reddington isn't here yet."

Her eyes snapped to his as she coughed lightly. "And why would I care?"

Aram shrugged. "Just seemed like you were looking for someone."

Her eyes moved away from his as she shook her head. "Just...taking in the scene." She sounded like she was lying, even to her own ears.

"Of course."

They sat in silence for another few moments until a commotion at the door drew her attention. She rolled her eyes as she saw Red and Samar stride in. Red dressed in a very dashing black suit, and Samar in a revealing black dress; entirely too inappropriate for a Christmas party if you asked Liz.

She watched as Red took Samar's coat, then handed it to the coat checker and slid his hand around her waist to lead her to a table. Red leaned down and whispered something in her ear that caused Samar to laugh lightly and swat his chest playfully.

Liz felt like throwing up.

Aram cleared his throat next to her and said a little forlornly, "Agent Navabi looks..nice. Not as pretty as you though."

She looked at him and smiled. "Thanks Aram, but I know you've had your eye on Samar for a while. It can't be easy seeing her with Red like that."

His eyes widened momentarily, but he nodded in acceptance after a few moments. "Yeah, well it can't be easy for you either."

"What are you talking about?"

Aram patted her knee and stood up. "I'm going to get a drink. Want anything?"

She shook her head and watched as he weaved through the tables to get to the bar. Liz turned her attention back to Red and Samar just in time to see him run his fingers over her neck and lean in to nibble on her ear. Liz actually thought about standing up and leaving. She didn't want to watch that all night long. She had made an appearance, Cooper couldn't do anything to her.

She stood up to do just that when she saw Cooper coming towards her. Fantastic.

When he was close enough to hear, he smiled and said, "I'm glad you came, Liz." As if she had a damn choice.

She smiled. "Thanks, Sir. Is your family here?"

He nodded, and as he turned to point out his wife, she found her eyes sliding back to Red. Luckily he wasn't doing anything too vomit-inducing at the moment. Cooper turned back to her and she snapped her eyes back to his as she listened to him drone on about the party and his plans for the holidays.

She had listened with half an ear, and breathed a sigh of relief when he finally walked away. Aram chose that moment to come back with no drink in hand.

"You planned that didn't you, Aram?"

He looked at her a little too innocently. "Planned what?"

She snorted softly and shook her head. "Never mind. Want to dance?"

Couples were beginning to crowd on the dance floor and she was tired of sitting in the corner and watching Red hang all over Samar.

"Oh, um...sure. I'm not much of a dancer, though."

She slid her arm in the crook of his elbow and started leading him towards the dance floor. "It doesn't matter. Anything is better than sitting in the corner."

They arrived to the floor with a "Jingle Bell Rock" playing loudly over the speakers. They danced terribly, but she had more fun than she could remember having in months. They were able to be goofy with one another, not caring what others thought of them. It was liberating.

The song ended too soon, and a slow ballad began playing. Aram awkwardly pulled her towards him and laid his hand lightly high up on her waist as he took her other hand then began moving them in time with the music. She smiled at him, then made herself listen to the lyrics of the song and not think about anything else. "Where are you Christmas, do you remember?" She remembered this song was from "The Grinch" and sighed wistfully. She was a sucker for Christmas movies. Any and all of them.

Because she had her eyes closed, she didn't see Aram's eyes widen as he saw Red striding towards them, but she did feel the sudden tension emanating from his body. She opened her eyes and looked at him closely. "What?"

His eyes darted to hers, then back to something or someone behind her. Only one person made Aram that nervous.

"Aram, how nice to see you tonight." Red's gravelly voice washed over her as he continued. "I need to speak with Agent Keen, would you be so kind as to entertain my date? She loves to dance."

Aram nodded a little too enthusiastically, eager to get away from Red, and let go of Liz before patting her shoulder and moving away from them with a quiet goodbye.

Still with her back to him, she stood stiffly, waiting for Red to do something.

She felt a hand slide slowly around her waist, then he turned her and pulled her bodily against him. She tried to put some space between them, but his arm around her back effectively trapped her. She wasn't going to think about how good his body felt against hers, or his arm around her back.

"What the hell are you playing at? You bring one woman as a date and bodily accost another one in sight of her?" She said into his neck.

Red chuckled and tightened his hold. "Oh, Lizzie. You never fail to amuse me," he said near her ear, his warm breath tickling the sensitive skin under her ear.

She snaked her arm under his suit coat and pinched his side. "Stop it. Just..can we not do this please?"

He didn't react to her pinch, and instead leaned closer to her ear. "All I wanted to do was dance with the most beautiful woman in the room. You can't fault a man for that."

She rolled her eyes. "Well when said man brings another woman, I kind of can fault him."

"If I didn't know better, Lizzie, I would say you were jealous. Possessive even." His voice was low and silky. Enough to make her weak in the knees.

Instead of answering him, she surprised herself and laid her head on his shoulder. She was tired of fighting with him. Tired of being jealous. Tired of feeling like shit all the time.

He moved the arm that wasn't wrapped around her waist to her hair and scratched her scalp lightly. "Sweetheart, are you ok?"

To her chagrin, tears began to well up in her eyes. She didn't want to cry, especially in front of him. She found that she couldn't say anything without giving herself away, so she nodded and wrapped her other arm under his suit coat and hugged him tightly.

She could tell he was surprised by the way he held his body, because it was so uncharacteristic of her to be so openly affectionate. Especially with him.

They danced silently through three slow songs in a row before he pulled back and led her towards the corner where she had sat with Aram earlier. She went without protest.

Once they were both situated on the couch, he turned his body towards her and studied her. She had crossed her legs and her arms over her chest. Her body language screaming that she didn't want to talk about it.

He reached over and took her hand lightly. "Lizzie, talk to me."

She couldn't. There were still too many secrets to hide from him. So she would go with the easiest truth.

"I guess I was a little...jealous." That had even been hard for her to admit.

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "You have nothing to be jealous of. Samar is nothing to me."

She avoided looking at him and shrugged. "It's just how I feel, I can't help it."

He moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders then pulled her close. He nuzzled his nose near her ear and kissed her cheek. "I only brought Samar so she could make an impression on Aram."

She needed to pull away. He was being entirely too affectionate in a public place. But..she liked being the center of his attention. "Ok. Fine."

Liz let her eyes wander back to the dance floor and smiled a little when she saw Aram dancing closely with Samar. At least someone was happy.

Red ghosted his fingers over her collarbone, his mouth still close to her ear. "I know you're hiding things from me, but I can hardly be angry with you since I'm doing the same."

She closed her eyes at the contact and nodded. "Then can you stop trying to make me angry all the time? It gets old."

He squeezed her neck lightly. "I'll do my best, but no promises."

That's all she could ask for.

She unfolded her arms and reached for his free hand that was lying on his thigh. "I'm sorry."

He didn't ask for what, and she was glad for it. She didn't want to talk anymore; it was exhausting.

"Can we go?" She said abruptly, interrupting his exploration of her ear with his lips.

He pulled away and nodded. "Of course. I'll have Dembe take you home."

She shook her head. "No, I want you to come with me. I don't want to spend the weekend alone."

Surprised at her confession, he merely nodded then stood up and led her towards the entrance. Just before they reached the front door, Ressler's drunken voice sounded loudly over the music. "Oh, look what you two are standing under." She looked back and glared at him as he sat at one of the tables surrounded by empty glasses, then looked up and groaned.

Mistletoe. Son of a bitch.

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, she grabbed Red around the neck and kissed him passionately. All clashing teeth and tongues, then she pulled away just as quickly, grabbed her coat and strode out of the lounge without another look at Red or Ressler.

She chose to ignore the catcalls and whistles as the doors closed and she breathed in the cold, crisp night air. She couldn't believe she had done that. She would blame it on alcohol if anyone asked, not that she had had any.

Red finally caught up to her and slid his arm around her shoulders as they waited for her car. "My my, if I would have known you were for public displays of affection I would have done that ages ago." There was laughter in his voice, but he kept a straight face.

She just rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Red."

AN: Look at that. Two new fics in a week. I guess my muse is finally back, yay! I would love to hear what you think. Special thanks to FrostyFingers for being such a great, encouraging friend during those dark, museless days. ;)..Thanks for reading! :)