I'm Spencer Carlin and this is my story. I'm nobody special really just a normal seventeen year old girl. I have two older brother's Clay and Glen. We get along okay I guess. I'm really close with Clay though he seemed to accept me when I came out of the closet finally. My mom well not so much but she is learning to deal.

My dad Arthur Carlin is a cook and a damn great one at that. He makes the best pancakes I have ever tasted; I dare anyone to say otherwise. He is also one of my biggest fans. He cried when he found out, but what father wouldn't. I'm his only daughter, and it's killing him to see me like this.

My mother Paula Carlin is a doctor, she is gone a lot but she really try's to be there for us kids especially now with my condition growing worse. She is constantly asking me if I'm okay and if I need anything. I know she cares but give a girl a break.

Then there is my brother Glen the star of the family. He plays basketball for the local high school and he is great at it. He is popular and all the girls love him. Ever since my condition worsened though all he seems to get is pity which I know he hates.

My brother Clay was adopted by my family when he was four and he really is my best friend. I can tell him anything and he will listen and support me always. There is never any doubt in his mind that I can beat this.

Now back to me, I'm what some people would call average looking with my blonde hair and blue eyes. I never had anybody ever really notice me before; I have never been in love or had sex. I have seen all my friends do these things but who wants a girl with cancer. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that didn't I? I have stage four leukemia no cure. I was first diagnosed when I was ten years old. Kept hoping it would go away but it keeps coming back stronger than ever. I was hoping one day to become a world famous artist but it seems like a distant dream now. My mother is forcing me to go to these group meetings at the hospital. She thinks it will help me to make friends. I hate it there but I know she wants me to be happy so I go for her.

The guy who runs the meetings his name is Jason is a little out there. His battle with cancer was short lived as with the rest of us well he have a visit with death very soon. I know he is really trying to help us open up and accept our fate, but some of us aren't ready for that just yet.

My mother always asks me if I have met anybody yet. I can see the disappointment she tries to hide as I say no once again. Well maybe next time she always says as we drive home. I look out the window as she drives. Maybe. I think.