Hank was on his lawnmower, driving squares around his yard. As he finished cutting, he stopped to take a deep whiff of the fresh cut grass.
"Ahhhhh that's the stuff, I tell ya hwat."
He stopped smelling and switched to fifth gear, taking off faster than before.
"Time to take this baby for a joyri-AAACHOO!" Hank sneezed so intensely that his glasses flew off of his face and hit the ground. The lawnmower ran them over, chopping them into tiny pieces.
"GAWD DAMMIT THAT WAS MUH ONLY PAIR OF GLASSES!" As Hank cursed he stopped for a moment and remembered the time that Bill stepped on his good glasses.
"Damn it Bill... this is all your fault!" Hank turned off the lawnmower and ran inside. He approached his wife Peggy, who was watching that show about the priest who shoots people.
"Peggy, bake me a Frito pie!" Hank yelled, grabbing Peggy by her hair and throwing her in the kitchen. Peggy obliged, and the pie was ready in no time.
"Thanks honey" Hank said, smacking her ass.
Hank made his way to Bill's house. He crept up to the door and eased it open. He walked to Bill's room. There Bill was, eating Cheetos and playing Pro Pain.
"Hey Bill" Hank said, startling the fatass. Bill quickly turned to face Hank. Before he could even say "Hank?" he received the hot Frito pie square in the face. Bill jumped up and screamed, running around in circles before finally jumping through the window.
As Bill rolled around on his lawn, Hank sat down and started playing on Bill's Pro Pain account. He ran around and blew up some people, laughing at the good times he had. Suddenly, he remembered how hooked he got on it and how close he got to becoming like Bill.
"Fuck this game" Hank said, going to the menu screen. He clicked on the Delete Account button. Bill's LV 75 Hank and over 100 hours of gameplay were now gone.
As Hank walked out of the house, he approached Bill, who was laying on the ground whimpering.
"There, I just did you a favor" Hank said. "Get a life, fatass."
As Hank walked back to his house, he saw Dale smoking a cigarette.
"Shut up, Dale." Hank said to him and walked onward.
THE END