I Hate You Then I Love You
Dear Smithy,
I'd like to run away from you
But if I were to leave you I would die
I'd like to break the chains you put around me
And yet I'll never try.
I know things have never been easy for us, and I know I've been the cause of a lot of that. My dad is forever telling me I'm too headstrong, that I don't think before I leap. If only I'd thought this time....if only I'd realise where I belong, where my heart belongs....
No matter what you do you drive me crazy
I'd rather be alone
But then I know my life would be so empty
As soon as you were gone.
I've made a right mess of my life, Smithy. All I wanted was a family, someone to say 'This is where you belong, Kerry, here with us. We'll forgive all your faults if you'll forgive ours.' That's what family's do right? No. 'Cause they don't. They fall apart and they betray each other and they let you down. Every time, they let you down.
Impossible to live with you
But I could never live without you
For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you.
My whole world been blown apart, I'm waiting for the pieces to fall to earth. I'm damaged goods. I can't see how anyone would want me – least of all you. You could do so much better, and yet you keep coming back. You never learn. And if I'm truthful, I don't want you to. I love you Smithy.
You make me sad You make me live
You make me strong
You make me mad
You make me long for you.
You make me die
You make me laugh
You make me cry for you.
We've been through so much together, you know me better than anyone and, I believe, I know you better than anyone else. Times have never been right for us. If I'd never listened to Gabriel, I'd have tried to put everything behind me....I'd never have got in this mess, never have dragged you into it. I was scared and so confused. Like you said, what we had was virtually a couple of one night stands...except it wasn't. It ran so much deeper. What started as lust, turned into love, one I never want to let go of. I'm so sorry.
I hate you
Then I love you
Then I love you
Then I hate you
Then I love you more
For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you
I heard what you said to Cameron about me. How I was a slapper, and how I'd slept with half the station. And you're right. I am. I've made so many mistakes, but I was looking for someone to love me....someone to call mine with no conditions. Every so called relationship I've had has always had something hanging on it. Some secret...something that was so wrong. Luke, Nick, Cameron...even you. And Gabriel. You have to believe me, if I'd have known...known what he could do! What he was capable of....you can only hurt someone so much, and after that you can't hurt them anymore.
You treat me wrong You make me high
You treat me right
You let me be
You make me fight with you.
You bring me down
You set me free
You hold me bound to you
I need your help please. I need you to help me make them see. I know so many secrets, things that could blow the station apart. They're all true – however ludicrous they may sound, I can prove them all. As long as I have you by my side, I can do anything – I can finally rid myself of those demons and make things right again. I can finally go back to being Kerry again.
I hate you
Then I love you
Then I love you
Then I hate you
Then I love you more
For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you
I'm going now. I've rang Gina and I'm going to the station to explain. To see you and to tell you how I feel. Sometimes you think you know what's important then you get a phone call, and you realise you haven't got a clue, except now I know. Things have changed for me and I know what I want. I've finally opened my eyes. I want you, Smithy. I love you.
Kerry xxx
I never, never, never
I never, never, never
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you
But you