Originally posted at ishieland on livejournal
Prompt: candor
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One of the letters Kenneth always wished he'd sent:
FROM THE DESK OF KENNETH ELLEN PARCELL
Dear Mama,
Happy Birthday, Mama!! :D
I wish I could be there in the living room with you to celebrate your birthday but I will not be leaving my room until your friend Ron is out of your life forever. He's ruining you, Mama! And I'm not going to call him Daddy no matter how many times he tells me to!
The Lord works in mysterious ways and it isn't our place to question Him but I think he made a real big mistake in bringing Ron to our home. Why, if it weren't for Ron, maybe Billy Beau and Rae Jean and little Tupelo would still be living with us instead of with those new families he found for them. :(
I miss you, Mama, and my room is real lonely with only me in it now but I mean it when I say I'm not coming out except to go to school and to prayer meetings and to attend to my more pressing hygienic matters.
I hope you have a Happy Birthday anyway though. I love you.
Your son,
Kenneth
One of the letters he wished he hadn't:
DEAR MR STARBUCKS COFFEE:
YOU MAKE THE MOST MAGICAL BEFER BEVERRA DRINKS I HAVE EVER TASTED. Do you use UNICORNS to harvest the ingredients??? I've been awake for 36 HOURS AND I DON'T EVEN FEEL TIRED!
If you're ever in NEW YORK CITY, we should hang out! Mr Tracy Jordan said he'd take us ANYWHERE WE WANT TO GO! Yay! (I don't think we should go to his favorite petting zoo, though. Grizz told me SCARY THINGS happen there.)
Your friend!
Kenneth!