Better In Time
Summary: SongFic. Song: Better In Time by Leona Lewis. (if you've never heard the song go to and type it in.) Ianto tries to forget about Jack and the pain he caused. Also Gwen did not marry Rhys.
It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Ianto knew that he had to find a away back from this; he never imagined that he would be the one to end up alone. He'd been so sure of Jack's feelings for him; he would have never guessed how wrong he was. Ianto just couldn't believe that Jack was the cause for all the pain he was in. After Lisa was killed by Jack, Ianto hadn't even felt this much pain, he doesn't think he's ever felt like this. Ianto tries hard to figure out why, why Jack would choice "HER" over him. Now sitting alone in his flat, listening to the song playing softly in the background, he tries desperately to figure out what went wrong, why he's the one left to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart.
Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't Know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
As the chorus of the song comes across, Ianto reaches for the remote to his stereo and turns up the volume. He couldn't help but listen to the words of the song, and the pain that was laced tightly into them. Ianto knew the feeling, that same pain was currently parked
in his heart and he didn't know for how long. At work he pretended that everything was fine, that he was alright. When in reality he was slowing falling apart, and watching "THEM" together didn't help. But he knew, deep down he knew he would find away past this.
Chorus:
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
Ianto knew that the lyrics in the song were so true, although he really loved Jack, Jack just couldn't love him the same way. He had to find a way to get past this, he just didn't know how. How do you forget someone you love so much, forget that they love someone else and not you. Jack was the one person that helped Ianto put the pieces of his heart back together after Lisa and the pain he felt when she died. Now as he sat here alone he realized there would be no one to help him with shattered pieces this time. He just didn't know how, when every little thing reminded him of Jack, and the fact that he had to face him almost every day didn't help either. Ianto couldn't listen to the song anymore, so he shut his stereo off and went to bed.
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feeling
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
Ianto woke up the next morning and once again that song from the night before was playing across his alarm clock. As he laid there in bed listening to the song he knew what he had to do. After he showered and got ready for work, he made a few phone calls and got everything in order. He knew he was making the right decision and he didn't care what Jack had to say about it. Jack had made his decision and look where Ianto ended up after that, alone and in pain. Now Ianto was going to end that pain once and for all and put Jack behind.
Chorus:
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
As Ianto walked into work that morning, he was trying hard to hold onto the confidence he had mustered up before leaving his flat. When he got into the Hub, he walked straight into Jack office and handed him the piece of paper and an envelope before turning around and walking out, ignoring the look that Gwen gave him as he walked passed her. Ianto then walked up to Tosh's station where she and Owen were looking at an alien artifact. He simply gave each of them a hug and continued his walk to the stairs that led up to the tourist shop and walked out the front door with more confidence than when he walked in. Ianto knew now that everything was going to be fine.
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
Back at the Hub everyone stood, feet glued to the floor and eye's locked on where Ianto had just walked out without a single word to anyone. Finally, Tosh and Owen came to there senses and walked up to Jack's office to find out what was going on. As they walked into the office they noticed Gwen just standing there looking at Jack, who was sitting at his desk. He was holding a request form for leave until further notice in one hand and reading a letter in the other. The three of them watched as tears started to fall from Jack's eyes as he slowly read the letter from Ianto:
Dear Jack,
I heard a song last night while sitting at home trying to forget about you. It got to me because I could relate so much to pain in the lyrics; to the pain I'm feeling right now. You never realized how much I loved you; you were always blind to my feeling. I respect your decision, but that doesn't mean I have to like it or understand it. For some foolish reason I thought you loved me the same way, but I guess it was just a fantasy of mine. I've tried to deal with the pain of seeing you and Gwen together but can't do it anymore. I'm requesting leave until further notice whether you approve it or not I'm taking it. I NEED to take it, or I'll never get over the love I feel for you. So I'm taking this time to do a little soul searching, and to find myself again, to know that I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
Love Always,
Ianto Jones