A\N: ...Heh. Yeah. I should be writing any of my other current fics. Am I? Nope. Instead you get a muse born out of the late-night ramblings of liron-aria and I. Oh, and The Band Perry, too, never underestimate the power of angst songs...
The story almost didn't matter.
They were Power Rangers, and as the saying went, shit happened. In this case, Trini's latest assignment, to bust a child-slavery ring, had produced an alien girl who could see the future, and who, traumatized by said future, had drawn a few beautiful pictures depicting the death of the Power Rangers while Mesegog, covered in their blood, laughed. Rumor had it they were going to an auction for a few hundred million dollars.
Tommy Oliver, Leader of the Earth Rangers, had seen enough in life to believe the kid. It didn't hurt that shortly after, Mesegog found, tortured, and brutally murdered Trini.
Under the pretense of pizza and homework, he'd drugged the Dino Rangers and arranged for them to wake up on a spaceship far, far away from what was coming, with enough money to get back home if possible and a rather amusingly strict mother of three who'd been paid to make sure they didn't unless it really was possible. He'd gathered every on-Earth Ranger team and weapon. He'd made wills, said his goodbyes, and now all that was left was to wait.
Which, being Rangers, meant warm beer, cold pizza, and really crappy card games.
Jason threw down his own card and smirked. "Nine of hearts."
"Dude, why are we playing Crazy Eights again? It doesn't even use money!" Zack complained, throwing down the nine of spades.
"Because the rules of other modes of gaming currently function as inoperable to my mindset?" Billy asked mildly, putting down the ten of the same suit.
"Anyway, I don't like gambling. Demons don't do that." Ryan added.
They were interrupted by the door opening, then slamming shut. It had opened to let in Justin, covered in blood, who went over to the card table, sat in a chair, and collapsed.
"Rough day?" Tommy asked sympathetically, throwing down his final card. "Out, I win. Want in the next game?"
"Unless it involves obscene amounts of money, cars, and hot chicks...no."
Tommy handed him a beer and dealt again.
Justin opened and drank his beer. Slowly. He'd just come back from fighting Elsa, and was filthy, exhausted, and probably had a bruised arm. Ugh. Life was evil. Emily, the Seer, walked up to Justin and whacked him on the leg with her new plastic hammer, confirming this. (Which confirmed Justin's theory that a three-year-old just should not have that kind of artistic talent.)
"No, Em." Justin said, pushing the hammer away. Emily blinked, then continued whacking. Justin picked up the hammer, lifting it to the table, only to realized it was being followed by the little girl, who had decided not to let go, and was now giggling with her shoes about a foot off the ground.
Justin gave her a disgruntled look. "Is it just me, or would she make a perfect evil minion?"
Zack had an Idea.
"You know," He mused thoughtfully, "I bet she would..."
Tommy snorted. "Oh, I can see it now. You! Get me a wrench! Okey-doke! We make a biiig pony! A pony to DESTROY THE WORLD! BWAHAHA!"
Emily grinned up happily. "I's get pony?"
"We should start a betting pool!" Zack enthused. "Not like this game has any money..." He dug out his wallet. "Five on this battle going horribly wrong, all of us dying, Tommy surviving and becoming Mesegog's new lab rat, and Emily turning into a minion."
The Rangers glanced at each other. It was sick and wrong. A perversion to what was going to happen.
"Why the hell not." Tommy said, laying down a twenty. "Twenty on this all blowing over in a few days."
Billy snorted. "Ten on Zack doing something stupid and getting killed first."
Justin pulled out his own wallet (oh, hey, Elsa hadn't pickpocketed him, that put her on a level above the hobo he'd had to wrestle two days ago for the expired coupons and coffee cards) and threw out thirty. "Thirty on something more tragically dramatic happening right after."
"After Zack's untimely demise, or after this blows over?" Billy enquired, laying down the first card. "The four of diamonds to you, Zack."
"Eh, take your pick." Justin picked up his cards. "Nice hand."
Billy snorted and flipped his phone over so the reflection stopped showing. "Screw this, I'm with Justin. Only whatever occurs later occurs to him as well."
"Maybe not." Jason pointed out, sorting calmly through his own cards. "I mean, Justin's team is a bit less angsty than ours."
"Ours is adaquetly suited to our unique defenses, Jason."
Justin snorted. "You guys have actual plots to your chaos. No thank you."
"True." Billy grinned at his younger counterpart. "Want to trade?"
Justin mock-shuddered and threw down a card. "Hell no."
Emily, who had by that point been lowered down from her hammer-perch, wandered off to find a new toy, and wandered back, poked her chin onto the table with wide, round eyes. "Can I's be minion?"
Zack threw out another five. "Five for Emily on her being a minion."
"Yay!" Emily moved her chin and started clapping. "I has pony!"
"Eh, we'll see." This did not deter the three-year-old, who instead ran up to Zack to hug him before going off to inform her toys that she was now Lord Emily of the Dragon Lands and all should bow down before her. (Justin was starting to think she might be spending a bit too much time around Power Rangers.)
Zack then looked questioningly at Justin. "You know, we could start one for your team. I'm out of money, but..." He thought it over. "A steak dinner on Tommy playing hero and saving the day."
Justin snorted. "Sucker's bet." He tilted his head at Tommy. "Hunh. You know, you can get bet on for any team? I mean, even just by being our Fearless Leader, but still, with being the Technicolor Ranger-" He ducked, snickering, as Tommy reached out to ruffle his hair.
"I'll wager that Tommy refrains from actually fighting Mesegog, but rather ends up in some dramatic 'plotline', as Justin put it, where he is forced to somehow choose between the world and something he holds dear." Billy said, setting a card down. "...I'll bet cookies!"
"I do like cookies." Justin agreed. Especially Billy's. The guy made awesome macadamia-white-chocolate-chunk cookies.
"Cooky?" Emily asked, looking up.
"No, honey, it's a wager." Billy said. "So we'll bake cookies later, all right?"
Emily considered. "Wid Tommy?" Now that, Justin mused gleefully, had been a hilarious set of blackmail photos. And who knew Emily could sweet-talk Tommy into baking cookies-in a flowered apron, no less-with just a few puppy-dog glances?
"Sure, with Tommy, if he ever agrees to set foot in my kitchen again." Billy agreed.
"Hey, should we call Haley?" Tommy asked, reaching for his cell phone. "I bet she'd want in on this."
"You did inform her of the circumstances?"
Tommy paused. "Oops."
Snickers ran around the table. "Guess you'd better, then." Jason said, starting to draw up a list. "You've got twenty on this blowing over in a couple of days, Billy's got ten on Zack doing something stupid and dying first, cookies on Tommy getting swept up in some dramatic storyline where he's forced to choose between the world and someone he cares about, Justin has thirty on something more dramatically tragic happening after either initial bet, Zack's got ten on Emily becoming a minion."
"Technically," Zack pointed out, "I have ten on Emily becoming a minion and Tommy getting turned into a lab rat. That part was more interesting. Em's got five on herself without Tommy."
Tommy rolled his eyes. "How is me getting experimented on by a psycho 'more interesting'?"
"Because it's funny watching you get caught up in drama and then doing the 'I shall prevail' thing?" Zack said, sticking his tongue out.
Tommy sighed. "Anyone wanna add anything?"
"Yeah, ten on the timelines switching again in a week." Jason added, laying down his own ten.
Tommy nodded.
The phone clicked. "Tommy, it's midnight."
"Heh. Uh, yeah, I have something to tell you..." Tommy was feeling really sheepish.
"Talk fast."
"Uh, okay, so we found out the world is going to die tomorrow. Apparently Mesegog is going to kill us all." No response. "So we started a betting pool."
"Tch. Rangers. What else are you going to do." Haley muttered irritably. "And you wake me up at midnight because..?"
"Well," Tommy said, rattling off the list of bets, "...And Jason has ten on the timelines switching in a week. So, want in?"
Haley paused.
"Rubber band ball on the timelines switching and Trini returning from the dead."
Tommy grinned.
"Now shut up and let me sleep, you idiot, I'm going to have to clean up the entire Cafe tomorrow from the Apocalypse..."
"Sure thing. Night." Tommy clicked the phone off to snickering. "Oh, shut up."
"Whiiipped..." Zack teased, ducking as Tommy threw a card at his head.
"So, what's she got?" Jason asked, laying down his own card.
"Rubber band ball on the timelines switching and Trini coming back." Jason nodded, and the group lapsed into a comfortable silence.
"Maybe we won't need any of this." Justin said hopefully.
"Yeah, maybe." Zack agreed.
The silence was less comfortable this time.
"Or maybe we should just go back to betting."
The Rangers laughed. Hey, in the face of death, what else were you going to do? Start a betting pool?
FINIS.