Disclaimer: I don't own Bones.
Brennan watched as Pritchard walked away, her normally confident gait now sagging as if she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her heart went out to the Inspector. She had liked Ian herself. Even flirted with Ian and yes, she was upset. But this woman worked with him day in and out. They were no Booth and Brennan to be sure, but still. I know how she feels, she thought.
Brennan turned back to Booth, "Um, can you wait here a second there's something I need to tell Inspector Pritchard." Without waiting for a reply she left a perplexed Booth and hurried outside to that back of the university. Pritchard was already halfway to her car when Brennan rushed out. "Pritchard wait," she called quickening her steps.
Inspector Pritchard turned around as Brennan half walked half ran to meet her. "I'm sorry about getting defensive with you over Booth; I know you didn't mean anything."
"Dr. Brennan I appreciate you and agent Booth staying on, really." Brennan reached out as if to touch her arm, but then almost too quickly withdrew her own. Pritchard look at her uncertainly, prepared to turn back toward the street.
"Wait," she said reaching out, "that's not what I came to say. I'm sorry about Dr. Wexler, about Ian. I get it, he was your partner. Booth is my closest friend. I depend on him for everything. He keeps me sane. And I know--"
"Dr. Brennan," Pritchard said putting up her hands. "I appreciate what you're trying to say. Thank you, but you couldn't possibly know how I feel. And I'd like to keep this as professional as possible."
Brennan nodded briefly before forging on. "About two months ago um, Booth and I were working a case," as she spoke Brennan could feel a lump rising in her throat. She willed herself not to cry. "One of the suspects tried to kill me, tried to shoot me and Booth saved my life. He jumped out and took the bullet that was meant for me." Her lungs felt as if they going to exploded. She exhaled slowly; she hadn't even realized she was holding her breath. Pritchard silently started at her. Brennan pursed her lips together, looked away and began toying with her necklace. She suddenly felt like a fool.
"I um, I don't know why I telling you this," I don't even know you, she added silently."You're the first person I've told." A single tear slid down her face. She looked Pritchard dead on as she said the next words. "There was so much blood. I tried to stop the bleeding but I couldn't. I—I held him in my arms and I told him to hang on, to fight. At the hospital the doctors said his heart stopped and they couldn't get him back. Now obviously Booth isn't dead, but I remember what that felt like the two weeks I thought he was."
Surprising both herself and Pritchard she grabbed the other woman's hand and said with emotion she hadn't thought possible, "I can't bring Ian back, but I promise you we will find out who did this, we will give Ian justice." Brennan felt the warm tears on her face and wiped a few away with the back of her other hand.
Pritchard was clearly shocked, but she simply squeezed Brennan hand, a small smile forming on her lips. "Thank you Dr. Brennan, really." Brennan watched her walked away thinking how lucky she was to still have Booth in her life. She'd never told anyone, not even Angela how difficult those weeks had been and how many times she'd thought of ending it all.
"For someone who doesn't know the right thing to say, that was pretty good." Brennan turned around startled to find Booth standing few feet behind her.
The winded had picked up ever so slightly and was now blowing strand of hair in her face. Mixing with the moisture on her face they now clumped together around her eyes.
"How long have you been here?" she demanded with a mixture and anger and embarrassment.
"Long enough," he said stepping forward and wiping a tear away. Brennan angrily pushed his hand way. He had some nerve.
"I told you stay inside," she hissed trying to keep her voice from becoming shrill. "Now we have work to do."
She was becoming quickly defensive. Booth knew her well enough to know that at the rate she was putting up walls he'd only get one chance. He'd been waiting for months and he would have to act fast. "You don't think we need to talk about this?"
"No, Booth I don't. I told her what she needed to hear," Brennan lied.
"And you didn't mean any of that? Because," Booth paused shaking his head, "Bones if you died I know how I feel." She was surprised at the emotion conveyed in his eyes and that voice wavered slightly as he spoke.
"Booth, this isn't about me it's about them."
"Bones don't you get we are them. She's you two months ago. Did you really think you could avoid talking about this forever?"
"There's nothing to say. I forgave you Booth. So what do you wanted from me?" She asked incredulously.
Booth shook his head backing away hurt written on his handsome, troubled face. "I want you to just say it once. That I matter to you."
"I thought I just did."
"No, no," he said putting his hands up almost violently striking the air, "Bones I almost died. I took a bullet you and you act like nothing happened like it doesn't matter that I'm alive. You never once said you were glad I was back. It's like 'my dying' was just a minor inconvenience."
She hit him square in the chest. He hadn't seen it coming, but he immediately knew he was getting somewhere.
"How dare you presume to know what I feel? Fine Booth let's talk," she was yelling now she didn't care who heard. "Let's talk about the woman I killed for you or how I held you in my arms begging you to stay with me. Or maybe about the doctor who told me that you were gone. Or my favorite how sat in the tub crying washing your blood of me. But that's right Booth I couldn't possibly care." Booth stepped back as if she slapped him. She was livid now. "Is that what you wanted to hear, Booth? About the nights I cried myself to sleep thinking I'd killed you that I'd taken Parker's father from him."
Booth almost didn't catch the last few words because they were muffled in his chest as he pulled her into a tight, crushing hug.
She was sobbing now. After two months of holding it in she didn't want to be a hero any longer.
Booth held her for dear life murmuring in her hair that it wasn't her fault. How could she think such a thing?
After a while she pulled away slightly and looked up at Booth. She could see that his eyes were moist too. "That fact that you're alive means everything to me Booth. And I am so glad you're here, but I just— I just want to forget those two weeks. I thought if we—if I said something things might somehow change. And after Zach I couldn't bear it again."
He caressed her chin with his index finger slightly bent. How often hed done it before but this time in meant more. "Bones I am always, always on your side 200 nothing will ever change that." She nodded and shyly touched the placed were the bullet meant for her had pierced him.
She looked into his eyes. "Thank you." And in that moment she knew they'd be ok. They would help Pritchard bring her partners' murderer to justice and then they would go home. Back in the comfort of the Jeffersonian surrounded by the squints they loved they would figure it out. Sure it would never be the same. But they would make it. Changes are inevitable. Lines are made to be broken. Whatever came their way she knew they'd be alright.