Black as hell.

My head was clouded with noises all around. Nothing was going on. It was just happening again. What is it? I am not sure. No psychiatrist, doctor, councilor, naturopath, anyone knows what it is. All I know, is there are moments where my mind turn black and all I hear are sounds.

This time was different though. The noises were discernable. I heard my name, "Ophelia!" Someone was speaking it. "Ophelia!" I swear it's because my parents named me after some chick Shakespeare made go crazy. I couldn't figure out whose voice was calling my name.

Light pierced through and I was laying on the ground. I couldn't remember how I ended up there, but I did. That was normal. When these episodes came, I usually fell down. I examined my body for cuts or bruises. Nothing this time. I looked around. I had fallen on grass. How convenient.. No one was around this time, so 911 was not called. Thank you. It's always hard to explain. I can't tell you how many times they've tried to lock me up. I don't have a mental illness. I don't know what it is. This just happens.

I knew I couldn't tell my parents about that. We were headed to England next week and I was banned from going if they knew I had another blackout. It's been about a month since the last one. It was weird though. I've never understood what the noises were. This time, it was distinctly a man's voice calling my name. I'd never heard the voice, but it was improvement.

I felt my phone ring in my pocket. It was on vibrate as usual. I pulled it out. Mom.

"Hey, what's up?" I answered.

"Are you still going to be okay to move?" Oh no… She knew I blacked out again.

"Yes. I'll be fine," Crap. Crap. Crap.

"Okay, I was just talking to your psychiatrist," Damn him, "He just isn't sure you are mentally stable enough. We don't have any answers yet."

"Mom, it's not like I am violent. I collapse. That is it," I rolled my eyes. My family was convinced I was insane. Except for Julia, my little sister. She was the only one who didn't think I was crazy.

"Okay… I am just concerned what it may look like to your dad's new boss if you have an episode around him," All mom really cared about was our public appearance. She pulled me out of school when these started and homeschooled her "special needs" child.

"Mom, it's getting better. I'll be fine and who knows? Maybe we'll find answers in England. I got to go," I hung up the phone.

I began walking home. I felt the episode coming on again. Crap. My head went black, but I didn't fall myself fall this time. In the blackness, a face emerged. It was an old man with a white beard, wispy. He looked homeless. I heard him say my name. "Ophelia." It was the same voice as earlier. "Ophelia."

"What?" I heard myself say out loud

"Ophelia. Find me. Find me when you get here.
"Get where?"

"Where you are going."

I woke up. I was still standing. That was a first. That was weird. Maybe I was schizophrenic… I was 19. Isn't that the age it's usually developed? I decided I needed to get home before it happened again. I just could not be seen having an episode. Problem with Mesa, Arizona: Everyone in your neighborhood knows everyone. Everyone knows I'm crazy. It's just ridiculous. I was only a block from my house though at the retention basin. I just needed to enjoy my last week in my home before we moved across the ocean.

My dad was being relocated for his job. He's an accountant and the company wants to go international. Well, Dad is the best of the best so we all are moving with him. Well… Not my older sister, Viola. She is staying in Arizona to finish school. She's a pre-law major at Arizona State and is the pride and joy of the family. I'm just the freak. Julia is… Well, in my parents eyes she needs to realize I am a freak. She is the only one who understands that there is something no one has ever seen going on. Julia sees the best in each and every person. I don't know what I'd do without her. She was born the year the black outs started. I was 8. She's only 11 now. There was quite an age gap between us. She's my best friend though.

I would stay, except then my parents wouldn't be able to control me. And now, I guess I need to find some old man in the place "where I am going." I'm guessing that is England. Not sure though…

I walked in my front door. I heard Taylor Swift blasting from upstairs. I went up to Julia's room. She was singing as she packed.

"We-eee are never ever ever getting back together!" She sang. I smiled and couldn't help but join her. She was startled when I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame. And I mean tiny. She turned sideways and disappeared.

"Ophie!" Julia giggled.

"Getting ready for England? You're old enough to get your Hogwarts letter once we get there. I think we are out of the district boundaries right now," We laughed.

"Or maybe you can actually really discover you are a witch and that is why you black out!" Julia has always thought I was really magical. I laughed at her… That wasn't what it was. It must be schizophrenia. It's the only explanation, especially after what I saw today. I was not going back to my psychiatrist. He wanted to basically place me in a hospital until I had an episode.

He did put me in a hospital. I was in a mental hospital for 6 months. Guess what didn't happen? An episode. No black outs. Nothing. I learned when I am under pressure to get them, I can't. I swear someone is controlling them. I wonder if it is that old man I saw today…

We heard the front door open.

"Hey girls!" It was Dad. He came up the stairs. His big feet banging with every step, "Are you almost ready to take everything to the shipping agency?" We were shipping the big stuff today. The move was six days away, but certain things needed to get their first. Like a majority of our things.

"Yeah, I've been packed for a week, Dad," I said.

"Almost… I don't know what toys to keep with me for the trip," Julia said.

"Well, you only get 2. I recommend ones that don't need batteries. Hurry up, the truck will be here in 15 minutes to load everything up," Dad left. I helped Julia pick out her toys. A Barbie Doll and her favorite teddy bear. It was good enough. I took her boxes downstairs and heard the moving truck pull up.