Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.
Warnings: This story contains disturbing content, T-cest, language and potential trigger warnings. You have been warned.
Summary: 'Mikey hesitated, then shrugged; it was only a dream, after all. "I don't want to wake up," he explained simply.' After the final ceremony of Obon goes terribly wrong, Mikey begins dreaming of his lost love. Soon, he only knows one thing for certain, the danger is real and his brothers don't believe him.
Comments, thoughts and concrit are always welcome.
A/N: This story was written for the TMNT Halloween Fanbook - The Darkest Nights. If you are curious to see all the great art and stories created for this deliciously horrifying book, you can find the link for on Sampsonknight's profile on Deviant Art.
For those that might be disappointed about this story containing TCest, I am sorry you are disappointed but I am not sorry I wrote this (even if putting it up in public terrifies me). I don't intend to make a habit of writing TCest as I am generally not a fan of it (though I will read it if the story sounds interesting enough or I particularly like the author) but either way, this story was begging me to be told and had been bugging me for about a year. It had to get out. Oh, and don't worry, I believe in the 'behind closed doors' policy.
I do hope you can enjoy this, even if it is different to what I normally write.
The amazing cover art was drawn by Sampsonknight and will be found on DA whenever the lazy woman gets around to posting it XD
Appearances
Ch 1
Michelangelo knelt sadly in front of the altar, solemnly reaching out to light the raspberry-vanilla incense, Raph's unspoken favourite, before settling back on his haunches, clapping and bowing his head in prayer.
If anyone had asked him as a child, he'd have sworn he would never have missed a brother so badly; after all, he'd always thought they'd be together forever. And for a time it seemed true. As the years went by the four of them only grew closer, especially after losing their father in a vicious attack on their previous home. In fact, the remains of the small family grew so close in the aftermath that for two of them they became more than just brothers. Then, a little over half a year ago, tragedy struck, leaving the remaining three grieving and Mikey feeling more lost and alone than he could remember feeling his entire life.
As August approached, Mikey suddenly remembered a story their father once told them, of how, after losing Tang Shen, Hamato Yoshi would take a few days out of his life to welcome her spirit to the living world to spend time with her before helping her find her way back to the safety of the afterlife. So Mikey did some research and decided to welcome Raph back the same way.
As the ninja sat in seiza desperately hoping for the miracle he expected, he was painfully aware of Leo and Donnie watching from behind. Though they'd all been brought up with spiritual beliefs, Mikey was aware that Donnie felt the idea of spirits returning for a few days as ludicrous and that Leo, while especially spiritual, felt shame at not commemorating their father the same way in years past. As a result, Mikey knew both thought he was just being 'typical Mikey'.
In other words, stupid.
Mikey took a deep breath and reached out mentally, calling out to welcome Raphael home.
Nothing changed. Not the atmosphere of the room, nor even his own feelings of loneliness and despair, so taking a few more deep breaths, he thought of Raph – his shit-eating grin, his passion, the intensity of his golden gaze, his love for family and for him – and then he called out again, reaching out with all his heart and soul.
Suddenly, familiar warmth filled him and Mikey knew, without a doubt, that Raphael had come home.
-:-
Mikey looked up from the papercraft lantern on the kitchen table to his brothers. "Are you guys sure you won't come to the river with me? It's the last day of Obon and we've gotta help Raph return safely," he explained, fiddling anxiously with his creation. "He's your brother too."
Donnie shook his head. "Unfortunately, I have to pass. I can't leave my experiment alone that long as it's at a rather critical stage," he replied. While he still thought the whole thing ridiculous, he couldn't deny the effect the last few days had on their brother and was therefore grateful Mikey had tried; seeing the disappointment on his face now, however, had him wishing he could spare the time and abandon his work.
"Sorry, Mikey, but Casey already asked me to accompany him tonight. He's heard some disturbing rumours that he feels need checking out and you know he promised April he wouldn't go after Purple Dragons alone anymore," Leo explained calmly.
Mikey bit his lip, suddenly fearful of Leo insisting on him joining too despite him needing to send off Raph tonight.
"Don't worry, Mikey," Leo immediately added warmly. "It's just recon at this point and I won't call for backup from either of you unless we need it."
"That's a relief. I really can't afford to leave the lab for more than a few minutes at a time tonight," Donnie replied, an almost unnoticed tension leaving him "Though of course I will if you run into trouble."
Mikey nodded, agreeing as he placed a small candle into the lantern, fixing it into place. He'd tried welcoming Splinter home too but unlike Raph, he hadn't come. He smiled softly; even now he could feel a gentle warmth on his shoulder as if Raph rested a hand there to comfort him as he'd often done in life. "Okay," he breathed softly. "Then I guess I'm sending our brother off alone."
"It's probably better this way," Leo said gently. "You two were so much... closer. At least this way you can have some privacy to say goodbye." While Mikey and Raph's deeper relationship was known to their brothers and accepted, Leo had never been completely comfortable with the idea; mostly from a leadership point-of-view.
Mikey took a deep, steadying breath and abruptly stood. He wanted to reach the riverbank before sunset; something about that time sang to him as being not only appropriate but necessary. Leo wasn't thrilled with the idea of Mikey being in the open so early in the evening so he'd promised to go to a location where he could be hidden by rocks and a nearby jetty. Since the only place he knew like that was quite distant from home, he had to leave now.
As Mikey headed for the door, Donnie's concerned voice rang out, making him look back.
"Make sure you call me when you arrive at the river," Donnie insisted, "and when you're on your way back so I know you're okay. I'll check on you via the tracker periodically."
"Sure, bro," Mikey smiled warmly.
And with his heart feeling lighter with the reminder that they did care and he wouldn't truly be alone again after tonight, Mikey set off on his trek to the river and Raph's departure from the mortal realm for the second time.
-:-
The sight of the open space and river beyond the pipe ahead made Mikey's heart clench with dread. In only minutes he'd have to say goodbye all over again and he really wasn't sure he was strong enough. Having Raph's spirit around over the last few days, even if he couldn't see or hear him, had been wonderful and Mikey didn't want to return alone to the cold, seemingly empty lair they called home.
Crouching, since he couldn't stand upright in the outflow pipe, Mikey stared out, swallowing as he tried to gather his courage to do what needed to be done. Thanks to all the stories and legends he'd read, he knew it wasn't safe for a spirit to wander the Earth. There were nasty things out there which liked to consume such beings and that was if being trapped as an unbound spirit, unable to touch or communicate, didn't drive them insane first. Mikey looked up towards the warm presence radiating nearby and nodded, clutching protectively at the lantern in front of him, then shuffled his way towards the open.
At the rim of the pipe which jutted out among rocks just above the high tide mark of the river, Mikey paused and listened, extending all his senses for any signs of humans too close. When he felt nothing, he darted from the pipe and underneath the jetty only metres away. There, he hesitated, staring ahead at the rapidly sinking sun and swallowing repeatedly. He'd never been a turtle at a loss for words but right at that moment, his tongue betrayed him, refusing to move, refusing to allow him speech.
Suddenly, he felt the warmth caress him with a ghostly touch once more, this time under his chin as if Raph were trying to tilt his head up to meet his eyes. Mikey took a deep breath and smiled as brightly as he could. "It sucks having to say goodbye again, Raphie," he tried not to choke, "but I guess we'll always have Obon, right?" Not that he expected it, but there was no answer beyond a shifting of the faint impression of warmth against his cheek as if the person he loved with all his heart was now cupping it.
"I'm going to miss you so much." Fighting desperately with his emotions, he felt the intense desire to crush the delicate paper lantern to his plastron as if it were Raph and never let go. Suddenly, he noticed the leading edge of the sun touch the horizon and for a moment, panicked. Then, forcing himself to calm, Mikey fumbled at a pocket of his belt and pulled out the matchbox he'd brought with him. With his heart in his throat, he struck the match, watching as it flared to flame, then he touched it to the wick and the candle burst into life.
Mikey smiled sadly, already feeling Raph move away, drawn to the lit candle. He took another breath and began to walk towards the river. "Now I know we can see each other again next year, I'll be okay, so..." Mikey swallowed painfully, not wanting to think of the long, lonely stretch in between. "You look after yourself and Master Splinter and try not to worry about..." Suddenly, something slammed into him from both behind and to the side. The breath left his body as he tumbled madly, the paper lantern soaring from his grasp.
Allowing instinct to take over, Mikey quickly recovered and sprang to his feet, drawing his nunchaku and setting them awhirl in one smooth movement as he turned to take in his attacker.
At the sight that greeted him, his breath froze in his chest. Footsoldiers surrounded him and he was all alone. He was in for the fight of his life.
-:-
Full dark had descended upon him while Mikey desperately fought and now he stood, hands on knees and huffing with exhaustion as he cautiously eyed the bodies littered all about. Thank god Footsoldiers so rarely spoke and that he himself, knowing civilians wandered about nearby, had managed to keep his mouth shut. Well... mostly shut anyway. There'd been more than a few times the mocking jibes at the Foot's 'ability' had insisted on voicing themselves.
Satisfied no one was getting up anytime soon, and there were at least three never getting up again, Mikey suddenly remembered why he was out here alone in the first place. Panic filled his heart and he cast his gaze about, searching for the paper lantern.
To his horror he soon found it, crushed and burnt to ashes with the candle half melted and in pieces. "Raph!" he cried, terrified. Without the lantern to lead him back to the safety of the afterlife, his spirit would be trapped here.
Mikey thought desperately as he pulled out his shell-cell to check the time. There were still two and a half hours until Obon was over. He could make it back home, slap together another lantern and get back to send Raph off again before midnight! "It... it'll be okay. I can fix this," he gushed urgently, trying to convince himself as well as Raph, fighting the fear filling his heart that it was already too late. He looked about wildly; he couldn't sense Raph anywhere nearby but then again, he was agitated from the battle and disastrous ceremony. Ever since Raph's spirit had returned on the first day of Obon, Mikey had found that he needed to be calm and his mind open to sense his lover's ghostly presence at all; a difficult feat at the best of times.
He began running for the stormwater drain just down the beach when he heard a heavy vehicle's brakes squeal followed by a door slam. He sucked in a breath as he froze in place, listening. It had sounded like the Battleshell but...
Abruptly, a shadowy figure somersaulted from higher ground and landed, long, slim weapon at the ready. With his eyes not adjusted to the darkness of the riverbank, Mikey knew they couldn't see him but he was able to see his brother just fine. Mikey dashed forward.
"Donnie? Am I happy to see you, bro!"
"Mikey?" Donnie returned fearfully, stepping towards him. "Are you okay? I checked the tracker and saw movement suggesting you were in a fight and you never answered my text!"
"Couldn't. I'm sorry, Don!" Guiltily, Mikey realised he should have called back once the fight was over; after all, what could he have done earlier? Held up a hand to ask the enemy for a timeout while he called for backup?
"Are you okay?" Donnie repeated anxiously. He reached out, grabbing for Mikey as if to check him over for injuries in the dim lighting but Mikey pulled away, already heading for the small cliff where the Battleshell was parked above.
"I'm fine, Donnie but we gotta get home fast," he insisted, pulling out his shuko spikes for the short climb. "I'll tell you about it on the way."
-:-
Since Donnie had called Leo as he drove to find Mikey, he called again as they left to let Leo know Mikey was safe, even while Mikey fidgeted impatiently in the passenger seat beside him. At Leo's insistence, Donnie detoured to pick him up and then they had to wait while he and Casey finished their reconnaissance. Then, to make matters worse, they dropped their friend off first.
Once they finally reached home, Mikey jumped from the still moving vehicle and ran inside for his art supplies, shouting over his shoulder. "Keep the Battleshell running! I'll be right back!" A few minutes later with new candle, paper, thick cardboard, scissors and Donnie's super strong, instant drying glue in hand, he ran back towards the garage, only to stop as he saw Leo and Donnie walking inside. "Uh... where are you going, dudes? We need to get back to the river before it's too late! We need to send Raph back before Obon's over!"
Leo shook his head. "It's already too late. Don needs to take care of your injuries and by the time that's done, it'll be well past midnight."
Mikey felt his desperation and temper flare. "No way, Leo! I can wait, Raph can't!"
"Mikey," Leonardo sighed sadly. "Raph's gone. He's been gone for months."
"No! Raph came back for Obon and if we don't light his way back, he'll be trapped here and you know it's not safe for spirits. He'd be prey for anything!"
"Please be reasonable, Mikey," Donnie pleaded, attempting to steer him towards the infirmary. "At least three of your injuries need stitches, several more need cleaning and your ankle needs taking care of."
"After we help Raph!" Mikey jutted out his chin obstinately. "He's got a time limit, I don't! I'll let you fuss over me all you like after that! It's not like I'm going to bleed to death or anything!"
"Mikey," Leo began, only to be cut off again.
"Please help me!" he begged, turning his shimmering baby blue gaze from one brother to the other with the look that none of his brothers had ever been able to turn down. "If you don't, I'll just drive back there by myself but I won't have time to make a new lantern. We need you, Leo, Donnie!"
Donnie and Leo exchanged looks and sighed, defeated.
-:-
They reached the river as Mikey put the finishing touches on the new lantern. A clocktower in the distance began chiming midnight so without waiting for the all clear, he jumped from the van and raced for the water's edge, pulling out the matches as he ran.
"I love you, Raph," Mikey whispered as he placed the lantern gently on the water and watched it slowly float away. He felt two hands rest on his shoulders as his still living brothers joined him on the riverbank and relaxed with their comforting presence.
"See you next year!"
-:-
"Hey, wake up already, Knucklehead!"
Mikey groaned as his eyes fluttered open to look blearily into the darkness of his room. To his surprise, highlighted by the faint glow of his night-light was one of his brothers standing over him and reaching down to shake him once more. He pushed himself partially up onto an elbow and the figure leaned back. Mikey could just make out a painfully familiar smirk in the dim lighting as he blinked to clear his sleep filled vision.
"'bout time you woke up. Geeze! And to think you an' Leo used to complain about how hard it was to wake me up!"
"Gimme a break," Mikey whined pathetically as he instinctively sought sympathy, "I only went to bed like an hour ago."
"More like three hours ago. Been tryin' to wake you up since!" he snorted in return. "An' sorry to make you get up so soon after the night you just had but we're runnin' out of time."
"Out of time for what?" Mikey asked in confusion. The turtle above him really wasn't making any sense. "Wait a sec... Raph? Is that really you?"
The amused smirk widened. "Who else would I be?"
"But... you're dead! Why... How are you here?" Mikey gasped in shock, sitting up straighter and letting his blanket fall away.
"Never mind that right now, we gotta hurry before we lose the night," Raphael insisted impatiently. "Get the hell up already!"
"Fine..." Mikey grumbled as he crawled out of his nice, warm bed. "You're lucky I trust you, I wouldn't just get out of bed for any old dead turtle, you know. So where are we..." Mikey abruptly stopped speaking as he felt a familiar and oh-so-missed calloused hand snatch greedily at his own, dragging him out the bedroom door. So great was his surprise at the intimate grip that all thought of what was going on fled his mind and if he glanced back at his bed on the way out and saw a blanketed figure still snoozing away, it never occurred to him to question it.
-:-
Mikey raced along the pre-dawn beach laughing madly as Raph gave chase, calling out threats of what he planned to do to Mikey when he finally caught up with him.
To be honest, Mikey wasn't really sure how they'd arrived here. One minute he'd been following Raph out the lair door and the next, they found themselves on this deserted beach in the middle of nowhere. One thing soon led to another, leading them to this point of the game.
Mikey glanced back over his shell as he ran to see how far behind Raph was. "So what's with the zombie shuffle, Raphie? I thought you wanted some of this," he teased playfully, waggling his shell enticingly in Raph's direction as he continued running. "Rigor mortis is supposed to make you stiff, not slow." Suddenly Mikey froze, horror filling his features as he realised what he'd just said. Before he could pull himself together and apologise, Raph took the opportunity to tackle him to the fine, white sand.
"I'll show you 'stiff an' slow'," Raph growled menacingly.
The lopsided smirk lifting one corner of his mouth assured Mikey that Raph hadn't taken his thoughtless comment to heart, so he gave a half-hearted struggle, not really wanting to break free of the strong arms holding him down. It wasn't long, however, until Raph suddenly pulled back, apprehension filling his features as he stared worriedly down at Mikey.
"What?" Mikey asked, desperately trying not to show anything beyond the sheer happiness he felt at Raph actually being there with him.
"Are you okay?" Raph asked softly, a rare concern sounding in his voice.
Mikey snorted lightly. "Of course I am. You're with me!"
For a moment Raph appeared uncomfortable as if struggling to find words. He shook his head. "Don't lie to me, Mikey, I can see it in your eyes. You look like you're about to cry."
"I don't cry!" Mikey retorted, aghast at the very idea. It wasn't true though. He just didn't cry in front of anyone because he never wanted them to worry.
"Yeah," Raph muttered in disbelief. "So what's wrong, then?"
Mikey hesitated and then sat up, shrugging; it was only a dream, after all. He turned slightly and stared out across the sea to where the dawn would soon break as Raph gave him enough space to do so. "I don't want to wake up," he explained simply.
"What?" Raph asked in shock, unconsciously echoing Mikey's earlier question.
"I said, I don't want to wake up," Mikey repeated, eyes fixed on the point where the sunrise was just beginning to edge over the horizon. "This feels so real and I don't want to wake up and realise this was all just a stupid dream and remember I'm all alone again. It hurts too much."
"What makes you think this is just a dream, Mikey?" Raph asked oddly, making Mikey finally turn back and search his golden gaze intently.
"I mean, yeah, you won't be able to see or hear me when you're awake, nothin' I can do about that," Raph said sorrowfully, "but I promise you that you won't be alone. I'll be with you the whole time and since I finally got you to hear me in your dreams once, I'll make sure you hear me again."
Mikey stared gape-jawed at Raphael. The sun began rising in earnest, filling Mikey with hope. He reached out with a tentative hand towards Raph's face. "Is it really you, Raph?"
"You tell me," he smirked.
Mikey leaned close, "It feels like you, smells like you..." All of a sudden, he darted closer to plant his lips on Raph's, kissing him hungrily.
"Tastes like you," he breathed when he eventually pulled away. Suddenly, Mikey leant away in confusion, looking askance at Raph. "Why do you taste like apple crumble?"
Raph smirked again, "Last thing I ate."
Mikey blinked. The last time he'd made that was the night Raph died. He'd refused to make it since. "How is this possible, Raph?" he asked, trying to make sense of it all.
Raph shrugged, refusing to withdraw his gaze from Mikey. "Obon. You showed me the way home, Mike."
"Yeah, but... but then I sent you back at the end of it!" Mikey cried, remembering how hard he'd tried to make it in time, what with the attack on him and everything else that had happened.
"Yeah... about that..." Raph began uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, bro, I know you meant well an' all but..."
"I was too late, right?" Mikey whispered, remembering his original feeling of needing to do it at sunset.
Raph shook his head frantically, unable to stand the sadness and self-recrimination in Mikey. "No, Mikey. It's not that. It's..."
"It's what?" Mikey asked flatly.
Raph sighed. "It's more that... after you were attacked and all alone like that, I knew I couldn't leave you alone again. I saw the way things are at home over the last few days and I can't let you be that alone anymore. I'm here to stay," he said determinately.
"R... really?" Mikey asked desperately. "But... isn't it dangerous for you, for ghosts, to walk the Earth?"
Raph made a derisive glottal sound. "What's the difference between the danger of a ghost walkin' the Earth and a mutant turtle walkin' the Earth?"
"Well, when you put it like that," Mikey answered dryly.
Raph smiled gently. "I'll be fine, Mikey, and..." he reached out to touch Mikey's face tenderly, "that's why I'm stayin'. But Mikey, an' I'm bein' serious here, if you dare to stop livin' just so you can be with me in your dreams, I'll damn well stop showin' up. You got that?"
For a moment, Mikey wasn't sure what to say but then he smiled brilliantly and nodded, bright sunlight splashing over him.
"God, you're beautiful in the dawn light," Raph muttered, blinking as though blinded by the sunlight hitting Mikey's face.
"So are you, Raphie," Mikey replied softly.
And he reached out to Raphael, drawing him down as they sank into the soft, white sand.
-:-
Mikey hung back in the shadows of the alleyway, clutching tightly at Raph's arm. "Are you insane?" he hissed, "or did being dead so long make you forget that mutant turtles can't just walk into a movie theatre without a disguise?" Both were wearing the same gear they normally did; pads, belt, mask and a few wrappings along with their weapons.
Raph tossed him a look of amusement. "And did you forget that I'm a ghost and they can't see me and you're dreamin' and they won't see you either?"
"N- no!" Mikey spluttered indignantly. He knew it was true and this time had looked closely at his sleeping body still wrapped in blankets with disbelief before leaving the lair with Raph. It was just that it all felt so real that he could swear he could even smell the popcorn wafting in the air from the building in front of them.
"Well, come on then," Raph retorted impatiently, pulling Mikey along behind him. "Thought you really wanted to see this movie before the DVD release?"
"I do!" Mikey protested, still hesitant about going inside among all the humans. "Those cam recordings on the net suck and a movie like 'Silver Sentry – Homebound' needs to be seen on the big screen."
"Then stop baulkin' an' let's go get seats, already!" Raph snorted, releasing Mikey's hand and striding in ahead of him.
For a moment, Mikey watched how Raph neatly skirted around the humans, uncaring, and seeing how no one screamed "Mutant!" or "Alien!" took heart that Raph was right after all. Before his nerve could fail him, he dashed madly after his date, cringing as someone suddenly stepped in front of him, leaving no chance to dodge. Mikey shuddered at the strange and horrible feeling that raced up his spine and noticed that the woman did too.
"Sorry!" Mikey called over his shoulder as he forced himself to run after Raph once more.
"What's wrong?" someone asked from behind.
"Felt like someone just walked over my grave," came the woman's reply.
When Mikey finally caught up to Raph, he realised he was standing there, chuckling at him.
"Weird, isn't it?"
Mikey nodded vigorously. "More like freaky! Do you ever get used to it?"
Shrugging, Raph replied, "Who knows. I've only been back five days, remember?"
"Yeah," Mikey smiled in return. "So how many times have you done it?"
"Accidentally got Leo once an' then he was searchin' for danger for hours after!" Raph snickered, leading the way to the correct theatre.
Mikey laughed as he followed. "Yeah, I remember that! That was only a few hours after Obon started, right?"
"Right! Steered clear of him after that," Raph replied wryly as he turned into the doorway.
As they reached the foot of the seating, Raph began searching for two seats together but the theatre was nearly full. Mikey looked around anxiously. Sure, no one could see them but they still wanted to sit together and not on the stairs or on top of anyone. "So did it happen any other times?"
"Yeah," Raph chuckled. "Got Casey a few times the day he came 'round, but the jerk didn't even notice. Think people have gotta be sensitive to that sorta stuff to feel it too."
"Makes sense," Mikey chortled, "and no one could ever accuse Casey Jones of being sensitive."
"Got that right!" Raph snorted derisively, his sharp gaze still searching intently. "Ya know, I don't think we're gonna be in luck, Mike. There's nothin' together."
Mikey stared around in dismay; Raph was right. He bit his lip as he thought and then smiled. "Why don't we see if there's anyone sensitive around?"
"What..." Raph began before realising Mikey had already taken off, bounding energetically through the crowd of seated humans. Most didn't react strongly but a few did and so, standing on top of a couple in prime seating near the back once the lights went down, Mikey tried desperately not to twitch himself from the uncomfortable sensation. When he saw Raph watching him curiously, he beckoned to his brother, calling out, and Raph soon joined him.
After several minutes, the seated couple had enough of feeling freaked out for seemingly no reason, and muttering to each other, stood up and left, hightailing it away as fast as they could. Mikey laughed, feeling only slightly guilty as he watched, then settled down into his seat. As he pulled Raph down with him, he was grateful that the vacating couple left the armrest up between them.
As they settled and the movie soon began, Raph murmured, "Sorry I can't get popcorn or anythin'."
"It's okay," Mikey breathed back; he didn't feel hungry anyway. He snuggled comfortably into Raph. "I've got all I need right here."
-:-
"Let's go in there, Raph!" Mikey cried, tugging Raph enthusiastically towards a crowded, snaking line.
"That's a nightclub, doofus," Raph stated flatly as he stubbornly stood his ground.
"Yeah, I know. All night party!" Mikey retorted, pulling again. Raph still didn't budge. "I've always wanted to go to one at least once. Haven't you?'
Raph's face twitched. "Well, kinda. Once at least," he admitted reluctantly. "But it's gonna suck, Mikey."
Mikey stopped trying to drag Raph behind him and turned to face him in disbelief. "How the shell would you know that, Raph?"
Raph sighed and gestured impatiently at the long line. "Way too crowded."
"So what? Like you said the other night, you're a ghost and I'm... I'm dreaming. No one'll see us!"
"Remember the movies the other night?"
Mikey stared at Raph. "How could I forget? That was an awesome flick, dude!"
Raph pulled a face, "An' do you remember what it was like to walk through someone?" he asked in disgust.
Mikey remembered. It was extremely uncomfortable and unpleasant, though he had put up with the sensation to get them the best seats in the house.
"It'll be just like that in there, only there'll be nowhere for us to go to escape it, 'cept behind the bar and that'll be a whole other level of suck since we can't even drink."
"Is that all you're worried about, Raphie?" Mikey asked in astonishment. Then he smiled. "Well, don't. I've seen pictures of this place. There'll be plenty of space, trust me."
With that, Mikey turned and ran across the road, aware of Raph reluctantly following him.
Once they were inside, having literally walked through the crowd and ignoring the shivers and occasional soft, unnerved cries, Mikey leant over the railing joyfully, staring down into the crowd on the dance floor in excitement.
"Isn't this great, Raph?" Mikey shouted over the booming beat, his body already moving in time with the music.
"No! They're packed like damn sardines down there!" Raph yelled back in annoyance.
Mikey turned his head and looked up at Raph, illuminated by flashing, multi-coloured lights and grinned. "Yeah! Come on!"
"You can't seriously wanna stick around!" Raph bellowed to be heard.
Mikey pouted, upset that Raph wasn't willing to at least give it a chance. "We only just got here, Raphie." He allowed his eyes to shimmer brightly with unshed crocodile tears.
Raph sighed, trying not to give in. "We'll only bring down the mood thanks to anyone feelin' us and besides," Raph grimaced as yet another person partially passed through him, "I hate bein' walked through!"
"Pft! We won't be walked through, Raph!" Mikey scoffed. "There's our almost private dance floor over there!"
And then he turned and pointed to the large stage deep in the heart of the club where only the DJ stood, surrounded by his equipment.
-:-
"Hey, Mikey?"
Startled out of his reverie, Mikey looked up from the comic he wasn't really reading on the couch to see not just Donnie, but Leo also standing near, looking down at him in concern. "What's up, dudes?" Mikey asked easily.
"We've noticed you seem a bit... uh..." Leo began, struggling for the right word.
"Distant," Donnie supplied, saving him.
Leo nodded, "A bit distant ever since Obon. Are you alright?"
Mikey smiled softly. "Yeah, I've been great," he replied. It was true. Overall, he did feel great and yet, a part of him wondered if everything he'd been experiencing over the last few nights was really true. If it wasn't just all some elaborate series of dreams after all.
Donnie and Leo exchanged concerned glances, obviously uncertain if they believed him.
"Don went and downloaded that movie you've been wanting to see. I thought we could watch it together?" Leo offered uncertainly.
"Which movie?" Mikey asked curiously; there were a lot of movies he wanted to see.
"'Silver Sentry – Homebound'," Donnie replied. "I was actually able to find a cam recording that's a decent quality."
"No thanks," Mikey smiled. "I've already seen... uh..." he trailed off as he realised he couldn't really explain that he'd seen it on a date with their dead brother.
"You can't have seen it yet unless you've been sneaking out on your own while injured," Leo admonished in a tone that clearly warned of dire consequences if it should be proven otherwise.
Mikey shook his head, surprised to realise that he never felt any kind of pain from his recent injuries while out on the town with Raphael. "No, I meant, I'd rather see it when it comes out on DVD. That's the sort of movie you want to see properly!" he explained quickly. Then, seeing Donnie's disappointed look and Leo's disbelieving one, he thought again.
"Ahh, who am I kidding? We all know I can't wait that long," he laughed. "I'd love to watch it with both of you," he said, getting up to sling arms around both brother's shoulders.
And besides, if he watched it with them and it was the same movie he saw in his dream, then he'd know for certain that it was all real.
-:-
Mikey had just spent a couple of very enjoyable hours strolling through the lit pathways of Central Park, arm-in-arm with his ghostly beau.
Just over two weeks had passed since Obon now, and Mikey had spent every night since with Raphael and it had been wonderful. He wished he could see and hear Raph during his waking hours also, but, just like during Obon, if he kept calm and kept his mind open, he could at least sense his lover's apparition close by.
And close by he always was.
"Hey, I hope you don't follow me into the bathroom," Mikey asked as a thought suddenly occurred to him.
"What the shell are you talkin' about?" Raph turned startled golden eyes upon him.
"You know," Mikey said coyly, "when I gotta go. I hope you respect my privacy," he reiterated.
Raph coloured and looked away quickly, rolling his eyes as he did.
"Ra~aph!" Mikey whined indignantly. "How could you?"
"Relax, Shell-for-brains!" Raph shot back. "I wait outside the damn door!"
"Really?" Mikey perked up, wanting to believe him. And yet...
"Yeah. I don't need to watch that. It's totally unsexy."
Mikey grinned, suddenly picking up on what Raph wasn't saying. "But you've thought about it, haven't you?" he taunted playfully.
"No!"
"Just the illicit peep show part, I mean," he teased, enjoying watching his lover's colour deepen further as he shuffled slightly on the spot, unable to meet Mikey's gaze.
"Maybe I can give you a private show sometime?" Mikey offered, his cheeky grin widening. "You can follow me into my room or perhaps the shower and I can lock the door behind me. It'll be... scandalous, knowing there's a ghost spying on me and me unable to do anything to stop you."
Somehow, Raph managed to colour further and his voice, when he finally spoke, was tense and weakened. "Be better if you," he swallowed, "if you wait till you're dreamin' so that I can join in," he muttered, eyeing Mikey with a gimlet stare.
Mikey laughed lightly, thinking of how horny Raph would be that night if he gave him a show during the day when he was helpless to act on it and resolved to do so the very next day.
-:-
They'd been racing across the rooftops for over an hour now, against Mikey's better judgement. When Raph had suggested it, it had been with such wanting in his eyes that Mikey couldn't help but agree without argument. He now knew why it had been such a bad idea. Raphael, as a ghost, and him in this strange dream that crossed into reality, could easily make the jumps and leaps just like old times but they couldn't feel the rushing wind and quite frankly, couldn't experience the adrenaline rush Mikey was used to as they leapt across concrete chasms. He could tell Raph felt disappointed and miserable from the situation but not by anything his lover said or did. Rather, it was due to the set of his shoulders and the very way he held himself as he ran.
Mikey sighed to himself as he kept pace just behind Raphael. To be honest, that wasn't the only thing spoiling the mood. Ever since he began dreaming that night after Obon ended, and he'd first left the lair with Raph, he'd had the increasingly awful feeling that something was wrong, just like every time they'd gone to the underground city or the Volpehart building. He hadn't bothered speaking up about it though, after all, it's not like anyone ever listened to him in the past. Shell, whenever he had actually tried, they'd actively mocked him for being a scaredy turtle, despite the fact he'd been right. Every time. Raph and Donnie, in particular, had always been happy to pay heed to such things when it was Leo's intuition sensing something, but when it was himself? Hah! The trouble was, that the longer they were away from home and the further they went, the worse Mikey's feeling was and the more fidgety he became. Right now, it was ringing in his body louder than Donnie after he or Raph had accidentally destroyed something in the lab or lair.
Finally, Raph stopped and turned to him, annoyance written all over his body. "What the hell's crawled up your shell tonight?" he demanded, immediately assuming the trouble was only with Mikey himself.
"Nothing!" Mikey protested. Yes, while he felt off about tonight, he was good at hiding his own issues thanks to years of practice and trying to avoid brothers worrying about him. It was Raph who was radiating the bad mood.
"You sick a bein' out with me or somethin'?"
"No!" Mikey gasped, horrified that Raph could ever think that of him. He knew that once upon a time Raph had issues of not feeling good enough for anyone else, but Mikey had thought his brother had finally managed to put such notions behind him once they'd finally gotten together. "No way, Raph! I live for my nights with you!"
Raph eyed him suspiciously. "Then what's with the damn mood?" he accused belligerently.
Mikey bit his lip, unsure how to explain. Then, seeing Raph begin to pull away, both physically and emotionally, obviously thinking he'd been right with his accusation after all, Mikey made up his mind to tell the truth, even if he'd always been mocked for it in the past. "Well... remember how when we went..."
A terrified scream for help pierced the night, cutting Mikey off. Raphael automatically whipped around, searching intently for the source.
"Don't Raph!" Mikey immediately pleaded desperately, knowing it would do no good. "We can't do anything to help!"
"Gotta try anyway," Raph snapped with a fierce scowl.
Finding the direction, Raph began running once more and Mikey reached out, trying to latch onto Raph's arm to hold him back, to somehow stop him from experiencing the torment that could only come from trying and failing, to help. Nothing good could ever come from this, he knew, but Raph simply shrugged him off and so Mikey gave chase, his terrible feeling spiking ever sharper within.
It didn't take long for the pair to reach the dark alleyway the desperate, now muffled, cries sounded from, and they both raced down the fire escape, jumping from platform to platform.
"Get away from the girl!" Raph snarled fiercely once he was within hearing range.
The drunkard, unhearing, slammed the woman's head to the ground and while she lay there dazed and barely struggling, began to tear at her clothing.
Mikey felt sick. He knew they couldn't do a thing but that didn't stop Raph. Growling, Raphael surged forward, grabbing at the attacker to pull him off and toss him into the wall. Raph's hand, however, passed straight through. Unphased, Raph immediately threw a fearsome punch at the assailant's head, right as the man ripped the helpless woman's underwear off.
Before Mikey's eyes, Raph stared at his fist in sheer disbelief, before trying again and again as the woman finally renewed her struggles for freedom, biting viciously at her attacker's hand.
Shaking with anger at the terrible act in front of him, Mikey grabbed at Raph again; he couldn't just watch this violation, not after what happened last time. "Raph, come on, we can't..."
Raph threw him off and continued trying to lash out at the despicable excuse for a human, "I gotta try! Don't you get it, Mikey? There's no one else here!"
Breathing heavily, Mikey thought fast. "I'm... Raph, I'm going to wake up. I'll get Leo and Don and come right back!"
Raph stared up at Mikey wildly, "You'll never make it back in time!" he snapped.
Swallowing in fear, Mikey glanced over right as the rapist penetrated the screaming woman, "Then... I'll call Casey! He doesn't live far from here!"
Raph shook his head. "No! Call the cops! Get them to come!" He turned back to the horrific sight, mind racing as he tried to come up with something, anything, to help. "I'll keep trying. Maybe... maybe I can at least make him uncomfortable enough to leave."
Mikey nodded, fighting back tears of horror. The man was too drunk and wouldn't notice, he knew. But still... "I'll get help!" he promised.
-:-
To be continued.
* If you ever see my stories posted anywhere other than under the name Zelgadis55 at Deviant Art, FFNet, AO3 or Live Journal, then they have been stolen. Please report them.