Edited some parts in (which explains why it's become longer-if you've read the first version of this before), and re-uploaded chapter 1. Not an original plot, but I want to explore it, still. (n-n)
And just to be safe, Shingeki no Kyojin belongs to Hajime Isayama. I am but a fan.
She just stands out for being weird, or so Levi tells himself. He had just been recruited not too long ago by the Scouting Legion, and here's this loud and clumsy woman greeting him, and trying her best to his friend. Farlan teases him about this woman in spectacles, noting the frequency of her attempts to get him to talk with her continuously (Isabel isn't entirely happy with it). He says that someone has a crush on Levi in sing-song, and if they aren't close to being sworn brothers, Levi would've socked Farlan in the kisser.
Now it bothers him greatly that he's become sensitive to the woman's presence, and he denies that Farlan's teasing fueled this sudden keenness.
(He later learns during one of their stops in the middle of their expedition that her name is Hange Zoe.)
They return inside the walls after a gruesome expedition resulting to the decrease in number of the Scouting Legion members. Every surviving member either sported looks of shame, shock, dismay, or a combination of all three as they trudge through the roads leading to their headquarters.
Levi is the only survivor from his flank. He is alone again, and that's nothing new.
Still, in the comforts of the cadets' quarters, Levi stares at the empty bed beside him as if Farlan would magically materialize if he stares hard enough. But he knows that won't happen because he saw how the titan snapped his body in half when the monster bit him.
He finds it strange how these cadets can sleep after what just happened. He guesses that they've gotten used to it since they've been part of the legion longer than he is. Life in the underground isn't dandy, but life under the sun, Levi learns, isn't pretty either. He briefly wonders how his life would be like if he had just stayed in the underground and never fought titans.
They will still be alive. Farlan and Isabel will still be with him in their cramped, but tidy house. That thought alone almost brings tears to Levi's eyes.
He bites his lower lip so he won't make a sound in case the waterworks start.
What has he done?
"I'm sorry about what happened to Farlan and Isabel."
Levi is startled at the sound of Hange's voice coming from behind him. The usual cheeriness to it is replaced with a sombre tone, and it sounds gentler than he remembers, and he's not used to it at all.
He doesn't turn to face his fellow soldier. He merely continues to create small mounds in honour of the two most important people in his life.
"I was shocked when they told me about what happened to your flank."
Levi stops and finally looks her way, craning his neck so he can meet her eyes and shoot her a death glare.
"Go away." He says, but there's no poison in the way he spits it out.
But he still hears her footfalls approaching from behind. Hange stops walking only when she's reached him and plops on the ground beside him—not too close, but not too far either.
Levi learns that Hange doesn't know how to listen.
She remains silent as she watched him even out the mixture of soil, gravel, and dirt to make a perfect dome-shaped mound. Levi doesn't speak either. He places two flat rocks on top of each mound—one for Farlan, and another for Isabel—and stares at his handiwork.
"On my first expedition as a newly ordained member of the legion, I was the only survivor in my flank, too."
"I thought I told you to go away." He says it silently and flatly.
She turns to him and smiles wistfully. "Don't worry, I will in a short while. But let me pay my respects, too."
Hange closes her eyes and bows her head slightly for a few seconds, and the young man only watches her. When she's finished, she fishes something from inside her vest.
"Here," she stretches her arm and hands him a neatly ripped emblem of the Scouting Legion.
Levi only responds with a weird look.
The young woman sighs. "A few days after each expedition, when most of the soldiers have recovered from their injuries, a team is usually sent out to retrieve some of the bodies outside the walls if only possible. I just came from outside actually."
"And why are you telling me all this?"
Hange swallows the invisible lump in her throat, and if his eyes aren't lying, he notices how unusually moist her eyes are.
"I cut this from Farlan's uniform. I'm sorry I couldn't find Isabel's." She pushes her hand closer to him. "Maybe you'd want to keep it as a memento. I do this when my friends die in the line of duty, but only when the circumstances permit me."
Two days after his friends' demise, Levi weeps again. Only this time, someone's holding him close, and he doesn't mind.
When Hange is fascinated by something, she obsesses about it, and Moblit is the only one who understands (the man tries to) her ridiculous ways of expressing it. Her cheeks reddens and heats up almost in record time, she breathes heavily through her nose, and she screams, shrieks, or screeches when the stimulus is too much for her too handle. Before it gets out of hand, Moblit holds her by her shoulders to calm her down, and won't let go of her until her excitement subsides.
So when she sees Levi manoeuvre his gears for the first time during training, her eyes won't—can't—leave his graceful figure.
Naturally, she observes whatever she finds to be captivating. More than his superior skills in slaying titans and the 3DMG, the young woman catches something peculiar about Levi, and this quirk doubles each time the legion returns from expeditions.
Levi has an obsession with cleaning.
To any regular observer, it may seem funny to think that someone as strong and highly-skilled as Levi gets his boxers in a knot at the sight of a disorderly hall or a smelly stable (well, it is a stable, after all, Hange reasons in her head). It's pretty ironic, too, that he's part of the one branch that literally gets their hands dirty (clothes, and any exposed skin for that matter, too). It's a mystery the Hange how he's able to remain sane standing on extremes.
To any regular observer, Levi's cleaning habits may be dismissed as something that's just 'part of who he is' or a hobby, but it alarms Hange slightly.
She finds him scrubbing the tables in the mess hall an hour after dinner was over. It doesn't look chaotic, but it probably doesn't look the same in the young man's sight. Her better judgment tells her to just shrug it off as something that he enjoys doing (and he does, she later finds out), but her fascination just won't let her.
"The other cadets did a nice job cleaning the place after everyone left, don't you think?"
She sees him look up at her direction, face blank as always. "They didn't scrub it hard enough."
She walks towards him and sits across him, making sure that she doesn't touch the parts he just wiped clean. "It's going to get dirty again tomorrow when we eat breakfast."
He stops scrubbing. "I know."
Hange doesn't miss the scowl that mars his features when he sees her place both her elbows on the newly-cleaned table. "So why bother?"
He raises an eyebrow. "You ask a lot of questions."
"That I do."
"Has anybody ever called you out for always talking?"
The young woman shrugs. "Lots of times, but I just ignore them."
She gets a humourless chuckle as a response.
She allows a cloud of silence to envelope them as she watches him scrub the tables in slow rhythm. By this point, she expects Levi to shoo her away—like he's done many times—but he knows she won't leave him.
"So why do you clean so much anyway?"
He stares at her blankly and lets out a heavy breath. "It… keeps my mind off things."
Hange's incessant asking may come off as intrusive and rude to most people, and she's been called insensitive on numerous occasions, but she knows when to stop.
Her smile is sad and small this time as she traces the grains of the wooden table. "Working on experiments and researching about titans keep my mind off things, too."
"What do you usually do on your days off?"
Hange is shocked that Levi's the one who initiated the conversation this time.
It takes her three seconds to reply. "I just read books to pass time. Fictional ones, this time."
He frowns, and she wonders if it's just one of his quirks or if he's just not into books or something.
"Well, what do you do on your days off?" she returns the question just to keep this conversation flowing.
"I… just wander around town, I guess." He scratches his cheek and shifts his eyes away.
The young woman grins. "Would you like to wander around town, then?"
She's not going to pretend that she's shocked for the second time after Levi actually accepted her invitation. Hange decides he must be bored.
They walk beside each other, with Hange trying to slow her pace in order to keep in step with Levi (longer legs mean longer strides), maintaining a friendly distance between them. She sees Levi wearing an expression of awe from the corner of her eye as he takes in everything he sees in the streets. For a moment, he almost resembles a child, it's endearing. She burns it in her memory.
"You came from the underground, right?" she casually starts.
"I did."
"Well, what was it like?"
It takes him five seconds to reply. "Filthy."
"Was it just as crowded there?"
"And suffocating. The air here is different. Not very pleasant, but it's bearable."
Hange makes it her mission today to tour Levi around some parts of Trost he hasn't seen. It's the least she can do to help him assimilate and experience life under the changing skies. And for some reason, the look he had earlier compels her to allow Levi room to appreciate what she believes has been taken away from him.
And she likes to believe she's right. A lot has been taken away from him.
"What are you doing, four-eyes?"
Hange almost jumps at the sound of his voice. "Oh, Levi! You really scared me there." She laughs sheepishly as she turns to face him. "I'm sending a package to my parents. I'm just sending them things I manage to collect whenever we go on expeditions. Kind of like bringing them a part of my world, I guess."
He looks inside the box and finds a random arrangement of bird feathers, almost dry flowers, rocks of varied colours, and even oddly-shaped leaves from trees outside the walls they live in. Levi doesn't know whether to be amazed, amused, or weirded out by her hobby.
At the very least, he finds it strangely comforting that Hange is capable of having normal hobbies like collecting interesting things.
"Do you do this all the time?" He asks, but his eyes are still fixed on the contents of the box.
She hums in acknowledgement. "Since our headquarters is quite far from where I live, I just send them things I found from our expeditions as a way to tell them that their only daughter is very much alive." The young woman glances at the young man beside him. "When was the last time you saw your parents, Levi?"
Levi frowns. "My mother's dead for a long time now."
Hange clasps her hand on her mouth. "I'm… sorry. And your dad?"
This time his frown deepens. "Never met him."
He's caught unaware when he feels her arm drape on his shoulders as she rests her head atop his. He's surprised he hasn't pushed her away.
Sleep never comes easy for Levi. Life as a thug has taught him to always be on his toes even at the dead of night, and his sleeping habits worsen when he agreed to join the Scouting Legion.
And it gets really awful after Farlan and Isabel died.
Sometimes he'd wake up just before the titan snaps Farlan's body in half. Sometimes he'd wake up because his bunkmates are shaking him awake with worried looks.
Levi knows better not to deprive himself of sleep (even just a little) at the expense of his performance. So he deals with those nightmares and hopes that he doesn't end up dying in his sleep the morning after. He goes through the day with a set schedule of training and reviewing military tactics, and sleeps to see his sins repeat in slumberland.
He doesn't visit the mounds he erected for his friends' memories as often as he did during the first month he lost them, but he still does. And when he does, he just sits there and think about where they must be or what they're doing if there is such a thing as afterlife. He tried talking to the mounds once and never repeated the act just because it felt weird pretending to talk as if his friends are actually there.
But this time, he allows himself to feel weird today just because it's been four months since Farlan and Isabel departed.
"You must be proud of me for not being grumpy all the time," he mumbles even though he is alone, and no one will find him talking to the air. "I've also gotten better at socializing, like you've always wished, Farlan."
A soft gust of wind tickles his cheeks and flitters through his hair.
"I hope you're happy where you are."
His voice sounds sad, but there are no tears stinging his eyes.
"And I hope you forgive me for not being able to save you in time. Especially you, Isabel." He focuses his gaze on the mound he made for the young girl. "I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye."
Later that evening, sleep evades Levi like most nights. Instead of waiting for sleep to come as he lay on his bed and stare at the window to watch the stars, he gets up. The young man slowly opens the door of their quarters, making sure that he makes as minimal sound as possible, before heading to the rooftop where he usually spends late nights by himself or with his late friends.
How fitting that he does this on the day they died four months ago. And it's only that night that Levi realizes just how long he hasn't visited their hangout spot.
He hasn't gone far when he spots a flicker of light getting closer to him in the dimly lit corridors of the headquarters. He squints his eyes to find something familiar about the figure that he can identify until a slender form begins to shape, and by this time, he knows the silhouette all too well.
Hange can't sleep that night either, but for a different reason.
He ends up letting her follow him to the rooftop. He sits on the ledge where he usually does, and the young woman merely leaned on the ledge next to it, the spot where Farlan usually sits himself. She doesn't say anything. He glances at his side to see if she's alright, and sees a smiling Hange—one that doesn't look maniacal—as she gazes at the clear evening sky, right cheek resting on her hand. She looks different with her hair down, he notices, and decides he's fine with it.
"It's been four months, huh?" Levi is disrupted from his thoughts when the young woman finally talks. "Congratulations on making it to your fourth month in the Scouting Legion. Not everyone gets to live that long here." She finally looks at him when she greets. "It's also been four months since Farlan and Isabel died." The smile on her face disappears. "I'm sorry."
He hums in acknowledgement.
"…Are you… still thinking about what could've happened?"
The young man doesn't reply immediately to consider what he's going to say. "Not as much as the first few weeks after their deaths."
He feels her hand reaching out to touch his thigh. He bristles at the touch, but he doesn't push her hand away.
"It's not your fault. Forgive yourself." And then her touch is gone.
Silence stretches between them as their eyes met for a moment.
"You know, I've always wondered how long you'll last in the Scouting Legion, but after witnessing how you dealt with titans, and how you've adapted yourself with the use of 3DMG, I can say you'll be here for a long time." Hange pauses and sighs. "That also means you'll also live to see more people die."
Levi hears the sadness in her tone, and it almost hurts him, too.
"…How long have you been part of the Scouting Legion?"
"Three years, I think."
All he can think of is the number of deaths she must've witnessed in those long years.
Hange blinks her eyes rapidly before she faces him and smiles. "The first few months are always tough, but you have to stay strong." She enunciates the last two words. "Humanity needs you more than anyone else."
Levi could've declined such a responsibility—if he may even call it that—but he assures her that he'll do just as she told him.
Levi's adaptability to situations (thanks to his interesting background) makes him a quick learner, so it doesn't take long for him to join the ranks of those with impressive titan kills during each expedition. His record skyrockets that he quickly catches up to the record of one Mike Zacharius, humanity's strongest soldier then (incredibly the loudest when drunk, too, and Levi really finds this strange because he's big and burly, and quiet most of the time).
On his sixth month as a Scouting Legion cadet, Levi becomes humanity's strongest soldier.
He knows this, but he doesn't let it get to his head especially after he finds out that life under the sky is just as hard, and that strength alone won't get him to live for another day.
Especially in this titan-infested world.
"Does anything scare you at all?"
He stiffens visibly at the question. Hange realizes that her mouth was quicker than her head, and retracts what she just asked. "I'm sorry, Levi. You don't have to answer that."
And he doesn't. Hange finds out the answer nonetheless.
She hasn't felt fear creep up her spine since her first expedition. She's almost petrified when the titan she failed to kill grab her by her leg only to be saved by Levi before she becomes its dinner.
"Idiot," she hears him curse as he lands on the ground in front of her. "Can you stand?"
She doesn't register what just happened immediately, but she quickly grabs his proffered hand and is effortlessly pulled up to her feet. The young man doesn't say anymore, and only whistles to call for their horses. When his black horse arrives, he doesn't ride it immediately.
"Are you fine riding a horse by yourself?"
Hange finally wakes up from her daze and nods as she settles herself on the saddle. They rejoin the rest of the surviving members of the legion on their way back to the walls, and she notices that the group has been reduced to almost half the number they started.
She breathes a sigh of relief that she's still alive, thanks to Levi's quick response.
They haven't talked since the group reentered the wall even though they are riding side by side. The young woman steals a glance beside her and notices how visibly upset Levi is. Her better judgment tells her not to ask the obvious so she remains silent the whole trek to headquarters.
"Moblit, by any chance, have you seen Levi?"
Moblit looks up from sketching and shakes his head.
It has been a day and she hasn't seen him around the headquarters, which isn't really odd since it's a big property, but even during their scheduled meal times, he seemed to be missing. She's actually tempted to go to the men's quarters just to check if he locked himself in his room (for no particular reason she can think of), but the Commander may probably accuse her of fraternization and make her run laps around the training ground until her legs give way or something. She also wonders if he secretly got injured when he saved her from being eaten and is stuck in the hospital wing of the headquarters. He looked okay when they returned, but now that Hange thinks hard about it, is he truly fine?
She bumps on something firm as she makes her way to her study for another all-nighter.
"Erwin! I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention—"
The blond only chuckles at this. "I wasn't paying attention either so this happened." He collects himself first. "Anyway, don't you think it's pretty late for you to go back to your study?"
She snorts and rolls her eyes. "You know me, Erwin. I can stay awake for a long time in the name of research."
"Of course, you can do that." He agrees, smiling.
Something pops in her head. "Oh, yeah! Erwin, have you seen Levi around? I haven't seen him today at all."
Hange finds Erwin's visible thinking amusing as an eyebrow raises and he cocks his head a bit to the side. "I remember passing by him a while ago. If I'm not mistaken, he's probably on his way to the mess hall."
The moment she hears Erwin's guess, she speeds off to catch her target.
And he's right; Levi is in the mess hall, brewing some tea at the far corner of the room. Hange wastes no time and goes for the kill. With quick and wide strides, she sits on the table where Levi is, and is pleased when the young man doesn't stand up to leave. She flashes him a smile.
"I've been looking for you since yesterday, you know." She nonchalantly tells him. "Mind if I join you tonight?"
He only looks at her, but he's not frowning or scowling. She interprets it as a green light. The young woman stands and grabs a tea cup from the cupboards just outside the kitchen. She actually expects him to take his leave the moment her back was turned to him, but he's still there, sipping his tea and holding his tea cup in that odd way of his. Hange lets out a sigh of relief as she sits across him.
"You're crazy."
She huffs and smiles. "Tell me something new."
He puts down his tea cup and closes his eyes. "You're also an idiot."
"Hm? I beg to disagree, but to each his own I guess."
"You're also very reckless."
She doesn't retort when she picks up the sternness in his tone.
"If none from our squad saw the signal flare coming from your side, you won't be sitting here and sipping tea right now."
Hange learns that Levi sounds just like a parent, and it almost makes her laugh. But she doesn't.
The young woman grins sheepishly. "Good thing you came in the nick of time, I guess? Thank you so much, Levi, I—"
"That's not it, four-eyes!"
She's shaken by the loud thud and the shrill sound of their teacups hitting the wooden table when he pounded his fist on the surface. Levi is mad. No shit.
"You could've been killed." He says it slowly and his voice dipped. "I really thought you were going to die."
They finish drinking their cup of tea in silence. She occasionally looks at him and sees a mix of anger, worry, and relief washing his usually poker face, and something hits her like a ton of bricks.
Hange mulls over their short conversation as she lays on her bed, and arrives at a conclusion that Levi—albeit having exceptional combat skills and quick wit that proved really useful in reconnaissance missions—is not immune to having fears. Of course, he's the strongest, but he's not some god. And just because he's the strongest doesn't mean he doesn't have cracks in his personhood.
She almost weeps when she realizes that Levi's actions aren't purely driven by the need to survive, or even trust in his own skills, but by fear as well.
She's somehow coerced him to teach her his ways with the 3DMG, and it ended up horribly with Hange spraining her right ankle and hitting her head on a tree trunk after miscalculating the force she has to release in order to move from one tree to another. The next time she opens her eyes, she sees the white, dusty walls of the infirmary, and spots Levi sleeping soundly and hunched on a chair next to the bed she's lying, or she assumes so because her vision is blurry and she doesn't know where her glasses are. She carefully twists her sprained ankle and learns that it has been bandaged already (a little tight, but at least it'll keep her ankle stable as it heals). Hange tries to stand up but the slightest movements causes her head to ache, so she decides to follow her better judgment this time and lay down for a little while.
She hears the door to the infirmary creak open.
"Hange!" The panicked tone tells her it's just Moblit.
She cranes her neck so she can see (albeit blurry) him and smiles weakly. "Hey, Moblit! What brings you here?"
"What do you mean what brings you here?! I saw Levi carrying you here and he told me about what happened." This time his voice sounds a little whiny, and maybe if she's not sporting a grand headache right now, it won't sound a bit irritating to her. "I just came back from telling the Commander about your state, and to check how you're doing."
She hears wood skidding on wood from her bedside, which means Levi's awake.
"What's this ruckus all about?" He sleepily asks. "Can't you two talk with hushed tones like normal people do?"
The two chorused their apology.
She finds out the next day that the only time Levi left the infirmary was when he was summoned by the Commander. After assuring Moblit that she'll be up on her toes (or at least with her one functional leg in the meantime) in record time, Hange spends the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep. The next time she opens her eyes, it was morning already. The fuzzy figure of Levi by her bedside is gone, and her head doesn't hurt anymore (but she moves with caution just to be sure). Erwin actually finds her mid hop in the corridor leading to the cadet dorms and smiles at the sight of a hopping lady.
"Commander Shadis isn't pleased with what happened yesterday." He tells her as he escorts her back to her barracks.
"Of course." She quips as her grip on Erwin's arm tightens each time she takes a step.
"Levi mostly took the blame and yelling yesterday because you were knocked out the entire time."
"Are you guilt-tripping me, Erwin?"
He snickers. "Depends on how you see it, I guess. I've never seen anyone look at the Commander straight in the eye while being berated. As expected of humanity's strongest soldier, perhaps?"
Erwin proceeds to tell her that she and Levi will be cleaning the stables as soon as her sprain heals completely for punishment. She scrunches her nose in disgust. He helps set her down on her bed and before he turns to leave, he looks at her, smiling as if he knows something she's not aware of (and Erwin knows she hates that).
"You might want to show yourself to Levi within the day. He seems really worried about you."
She gets to the mess hall just in time for lunch (if she didn't start limping fifteen minutes ago she'd be a little late), and looks for the young man Erwin told her to go see today. When their eyes meet, she waves enthusiastically and limps to the table he shares with some of his squad members.
He doesn't greet her when she gets there, but she knows he's not mad (when he is, he often tells her or simply walks away). He continues to eat in silence and only talks when one of his fellow cadets would ask him something. She stands up at some point to grab something to eat only to be stopped by Moblit when he sees her having a hard time moving. By the time she gets back to the table with a tray of food on her hands, and with Moblit's help, Levi's the only one left. He's done with his lunch, but he still has a cup of cup full of tea.
"You could've just stayed in the infirmary to get some rest and not strain yourself."
She grins sheepishly. "I only sprained my ankle. Okay, maybe I had a concussion, too, but I'm okay, Levi. Look, I'm just in front of you."
He rolls his eyes as he sips from his cup of tea.
Moblit volunteers to help her reach the barracks (and to be certain that she doesn't get sidetracked and hole herself up inside her study until morning) and recounts yesterday's events pretty vividly, much to Hange's amusement. He fills her in with what she's missed, and finds out that Levi was so frantic about the whole concussion thing he honestly thought she'd be paralyzed, or worse, in a state of comatose (his frazzled state rattled Moblit even more). To say that Moblit was shocked at Levi's reaction is an understatement; Moblit was floored that humanity's strongest is capable of feeling dread course through his body.
(Knowing that Levi's boxers were in knots the whole time she's out cold touches her, strangely. Can she finally call this friendship?)
When they pass by each other the following day, Hange greets him with 'a good afternoon,' and reaches for his shoulder. She flashes him the best reassuring smile she can muster (since her smiles are often lopsided or goofy or maniacal, as some scouts had told her), and he only furrows his brows as he looks at her.
"I'm sorry about what happened two days ago. I'll be more mindful next time we practice together again."
If Levi will allow her to practice with him again, that is.
"Hey, Levi! We're heading off now!"
Levi turns to look at one of his fellow cadets and nods in acknowledgement. Another cadet waves his hand before leaving the quarters, smiling.
"We'll bring you something when we get back tomorrow."
He thinks they don't have to, but he doesn't say anything. He just waves them off goodbye and wishes them safe travels on their way out.
Levi learns that the members of the military are allowed leaves in between expeditions so they can visit their loved ones if they want to. He vaguely remembers the details that Hange told him, but he remembers that he needs to write a request and wait for approval from the commander. It's a lot different from wandering around town, which he finds entertaining recently (especially with the map Hange furnished for him not long ago), because it can range from overnights to a week, if one's lucky.
His bunkmates had been talking nonstop about spending a day in their hometown last night so Levi figures that he'll be on his own tonight. They won't be leaving outside the walls until next month, so he thinks today can be cleaning day. After all, it's a lot harder to tidy the room when his bunkmates aren't the neatest (and he finds it upsetting that most of the members of the military are not very neat in his standards). The young man decides that after breakfast, he will start dusting off the dusts that accumulated under the top bunk beds.
"Oh, Levi, hi! Didn't think you'd be up this early." Hange greets him and he's a bit startled that he nearly jumps on his way to the mass hall. Nearly.
"Samuel and Reuben caused a lot of ruckus hauling their stuff. Of course I'll be up after that." It's then that he notices in the dim lights of the halls that Hange isn't clad in her sleepwear, but in civilian clothes. His brows furrow. "Have you been loitering in the streets until early morning?"
Levi isn't particular about how other people don themselves with casual wear (unless there's an offending speck of anything disrupting its immaculate state), but it's the first time he's seen her wearing a long skirt that ends up right on her ankles. He's baffled, that's for sure.
Hange notices why he's gawking (in a unique way that Levi does gawking, that is) and points at her clothes. "Oh? I just came back from my leave. I visited my parents back in Ehrmich district." Then she smiles and her eyes brighten upon remembering something. "Oh, and I have something for you!"
Levi only watches as she reaches for something inside her messenger bag, still baffled at the sight that is Hange in a skirt. He's not used to it.
He recovers when he sees a bag being shoved to his chest.
"You said you like tea, right? I bought this on the way back from home. I asked my parents if they know any place that sells quality tea leaves that I can bring back since I usually buy something for my squad members, too. Those are all yours, by the way." She continues to talk even if Levi isn't really listening as he reads the label and is shocked when he realizes that this is quality tea indeed.
He doesn't really know what to say, but he is freaking out inside because he never imagined that he'd be able to taste—let alone hold this glorious package—fine, tea leaves in his lifetime.
After all, he just makes do with what they have (smuggle) in the Underground. Farlan would've flipped and Isabel's eyes would've glossed over.
But they're not here anymore.
"If you want to have a taste now, I can brew you some at the mess hall. I believe you're on way there? Let's go, then! I want to eat something, too, before I change into uniform and report to Commander Keith."
He's distracted from his sullen thoughts with a tug on his arm, as the young woman drags him for breakfast, all the while telling him about her short trip to Ehrmich, how her aging parents are busying themselves with growing herbs and vegetables in the front yard, how her youngest brother is about finish his local apprenticeship with the draftsmen of the district, and how her parents are happy that she's chasing her wild dreams, but still wishing that she quits the Scouting Legion to settle down and work within the district instead. But he's still dumbfounded by the fact that she's wearing a skirt and that he's about to taste one hell of tea a few minutes from now.
They stop in front of an empty table near the kitchen.
"Levi, are you alright?" She asks him.
He snaps out from his daze, and furrows his brows. "You're wearing a skirt."
Hange only looks at him confused. "What of it?"
"It…" he searches for a word, but settles for frankness. "I'm not used to it."
The young woman only laughs and slaps his shoulder, which almost causes him to let go of the package if he's not agile enough.
"Well, I'm not really used to it either, but I sometimes wear this when I visit home since my mom made this for me. I still prefer pants, though; it provides more mobility." She supplies as she pulls the sides of her skirt to reveal the extent of its stretch. "And besides, I wasn't able to wash the pair of pants I was supposed to wear on my visit, and this was the only article of clothing in my closet that's clean."
That's enough to make the corners of Levi's lips twitch in disgust.
(Levi learns later that Hange brews pretty decent tea.)
"For the love of all things pleasant, Hange, please eat your meals. You haven't done so since this morning."
She pretends not to hear him. She's about to finish compiling and arranging her notes from their last expedition, and not even the need to replenish the loss of nutrients will stop her.
"And please clean your room!"
This arrangement isn't rare, actually. Hange knows that Moblit probably told him where she's holed herself in for the past hours; he's like that. Frankly, Hange thinks that she only needs one Moblit to mother her (not that she needs to be mothered).
She hears him walking towards her. The heavy footsteps from his boots and the clanging of the utensils on the metal trays as he steps closer give it away. But Hange pointedly ignores him, not now when she's about done.
"Hange," his voice is lower this time. "Eat."
No response. Just scribbling and skimming notes.
"If I have to shove all these in your mouth, I will."
Levi should know by now that his threats never work on her.
"That's it."
Only when the tray lands somewhere on her table does Hange stop. Levi doesn't give her time to talk or resist. She feels his fingers clench around her mouth as he turns her face to him, spoon at the ready. She tries to tell him she can eat by herself, but the spoon enters her mouth. And he does this without causing her to choke on her food.
"Chew it thoroughly." He tells her.
She grabs the spoon from his hand and he lets her. She swallows her food first before she talks.
"I can eat by myself. You can step out now."
Levi doesn't leave. He sits on her bed instead. "I won't leave until I see your plate empty." He smirks smugly, and it annoys her.
Seriously, she only needs one Moblit to mother her. Besides, Moblit is a gentler spirit.
Hange opens her eyes slowly as she stirs back in consciousness. That's when she's greeted with cold water.
"Ah, cold!" she shouts. It takes her a few more seconds to realize that she's sitting on a wooden tub filled with water, and more seconds to realize that she's discarded her clothes, and that Levi is with her in the showers, his army uniform discarded, too, but he's fully clothed in what she assumes to be his set of casual wear.
"You!" and then her voice dies in her throat when she sees him drag a stool in front of her so he can sit. He keeps himself busy with rinsing and wringing the towel he's holding inside the small bucket beside the wooden tub.
"Don't worry, I asked Nanaba to undress you and set you in the tub. I only knocked you out and carried you here." He informs her to try to calm her down, but it doesn't help.
Levi is in the communal shower of the female soldiers, and she's naked in front of him. No man has ever seen him naked until today, and that thought rattles her.
"I made sure to lock the doors, too. We can't have others assuming."
She doesn't know if it's comforting that he didn't forget to lock the doors or terrifying that the doors are locked, and there's no way she can win against Levi, strength-wise, and escape if anything fishy happens.
"You do know I could count this as assault and harassment, and have you banned from joining the scouts ever."
He only hands her a bar of soap. "Here, you have to at least soap yourself before I scrub you clean. I'm already done shampooing your hair."
Hange stares at the soap blankly as she tries to process what's just happening. She reaches for it and starts to clean herself anyway.
"Moblit told me you haven't left your study for three days now."
She sniffs. "Of course he would."
"…I'm sorry I had to do this." Levi's voice is almost close to a whisper as his stare is fixed on whatever he's doing.
"That doesn't mean you can just barge in and have your way."
"You reeked."
"Still!"
"…I'm sorry." It's the first time she hears him sound uncharacteristically timid.
The young woman groans. "…Never mind." And they remain quiet.
She recalls the events that led to this predicament, but finds that it escaped her already. What she does remember is falling on the floor of her lab and landing squarely on the cold floor. That's about it. And now she's here.
Levi must've really hit her good for her to forget details.
"Hand me your arm."
"What?"
"You heard me."
He's right. She's just too preoccupied with the circumstance to keep her focus.
She lifts her right arm to his direction and he starts scrubbing her clean with a wet towel. She looks on as he rubs tiny circles on her arm, similar to how he does it every time she finds him scrubbing the tables, chairs, or walls in the headquarters except there's no heavy pressure.
"You seem like this is something you're used to."
"Yes, Hange. I do clean a lot. You always watch me do it."
"No, not that." She jerks her arm slightly in his hold. "This."
Their eyes meet for the first time since Hange woke up. She's long forgotten and stopped thinking about this interesting setup, and she doesn't care anymore if the young man has seen her hazy form through the water (he's probably seen it all already if he had shampooed her hair a while ago, and he doesn't look like he has anything strange lined up except to get her to bathe). After a pregnant pause and more staring, Levi stops what he's doing and lets out a breath he's been keeping.
"I used to give my mother sponge baths when she was too sick to take baths on her own."
Hange breaks the eye contact, realizing that she has opened something again.
"I'm… sorry." She whispers as she bows her head and folds her legs near her chest.
He removes the towel and inspects the grime that has gathered where he placed his fingers, nose crinkling. "Nasty."
She sniggers. "This isn't the longest I didn't take a bath. I've gone on for—"
"Disgusting!" Levi drops her arm in the wooden tub as he shoots her an incredulous look. "Mind your hygiene once in a while, four-eyes! How can you live with yourself?"
She grins. "You'll get used to it. I promise."
Levi shakes his head as he scoops her right arm out from the soapy water to finish what he started. "I won't. I refuse to." This time, his scrubbing is a little harder, and Hange's sure it'll leave red marks by the time this bath is over. "I'll even do this time and time again if I have to."
"Don't worry. I'll return the favour if you need me to."
He huffs. "Please, don't."
"But if I do, I won't knock you out, and maybe I'll ask for your permission first."
Levi is not dumb. He just doesn't fancy reading theoretical books as much as Hange does. However, he is pretty impressed with the wide array of books that the young woman keeps in her library, or at least that's what she calls one corner of her dusty, musty, and cluttered study. From military tactics, plant life, and fictional stories about warriors who end up saving their nations from being obliterated, Hange seems to own any genre that he can think of.
He finds out about her collection of books the first time he took it upon himself to arrange some things inside Hange's study right after getting her to bathe and eat her lunch like typical humans do (and by this time, it is cemented in Levi's head that Hange is anything but typical). As the freshly groomed lady shovels down the day's planned lunch, all the while thinking aloud in his presence, he's greeted by stacks of books that are haphazardly placed (thrown) in one corner. Hange tells him to be careful with those, which he follows obediently as he starts to wipe the dusts (and maybe some lizard and cockroach crap, too) off each book before arranging it by height.
He stops for about a minute after cleaning each book, reading the titles and skimming some of the contents. He's curious how she's able to acquire these much books and why she never thought of keeping it in a shelf like typical humans do.
"You found anything you want to borrow?" Hange's voice startles him a bit.
Levi shrugs his shoulders. "Where did you get these anyway?"
The sound of metal clinking on metal reaches his ears and he winces as he watches Hange finish the last of her lunch.
She swallows her food before she speaks. "Some of them were gifts from my parents, some of them are from Erwin, and some are books that I buy when there are good deals around town."
They remain silent until Levi is done arranging her books in the same corner and rearranging her apparatuses inside the closet she hardly uses (so much that dusts caked in between the grains of the wood). The young woman has long resumed arranging her notes about her ongoing research on how to fortify the walls' defense from the titans.
"Hey, four-eyes," he calls out as he arranges his cleaning equipment. "I want to borrow this."
Said four eyes turns her head to look at him and he waves a small book about teas from all over the world. Hange merely laughs. Of course, he's going to borrow that.
"You can have it, too, if you want." She tells him, grinning.
A small smile paints his lips as he reads the cover of the small book again (Hange sees this and thinks he looks like a child). "Thanks." He mumbles.
(To show his appreciation, Levi actually builds Hange a shelf from the excess wood planks that the legion discards after making titan dummies for training. Hange is pleased, and even more so when she learns that Levi is surprisingly good at carpentry.)
"I don't think she ever told you, but if you must know, Hange's birthday is tomorrow."
Levi looks up from his food and stares at Erwin. "Why are you telling me this?"
He finds his smug smirk annoying, so much he wants to scrub it off his face right now.
"Aren't you friends with her? You should at least surprise her with something."
He's not really sure what compelled him to go looking for something to give Hange just because Erwin told him about her birthday. Heck, he's not even sure if they are friends to begin with. His general feelings towards the young woman is mixed: he doesn't like her a lot, but he doesn't find her appalling in spite of her poor hygiene and other quirky antics. But what he's sure of is that he does find her company oddly comforting.
Levi knows that whatever he gives her will make her happy, and just the thought of remembering her birthday will probably make her cry, but he's not going to be an ass this time. The young man actually wants to find a present that reminds him of the bespectacled woman. He almost cringes at the sappiness, but if it's for her, he figures it's alright. After all, even he can tell that they've already crossed the line that separates mere acquaintances from sworn friends.
Levi decides to just call her a comrade in arms. His head is beginning to ache just thinking about their weird dynamics.
He briefly considers buying her a set of toiletries, but he drops the idea immediately when he remembers that he has to drag her stinky ass to the showers because she's forgotten to bathe herself. He doubts she'd also use the cleaning equipment he plans to give her since she's not very enthusiastic about cleaning up her stuff. Another book, perhaps? But the books are heftily priced, and Levi didn't have the mind to bring all his pocket money today.
He considers dropping the entire hunt for a present, and pretending he doesn't know about her birthday (even though he knows it'll haunt him the entire day) when his eyes spot the perfect gift for Hange. And it's being sold for a good price, too!
The young man wakes up grumpily due to lack of sleep last night. He's not going to openly admit that he's been thinking of different ways to give his gift to Hange (how juvenile, he scolds himself), but yes, he did. He reaches for something under his bed—a small box—before rolling over to get up.
He knows that around this time, Hange is already up and inside her study. After washing off his morning breath and deeming that he looks presentable enough for someone who just woke up, Levi marches straight to what he believes to be her favourite place in the headquarters.
He doesn't knock anymore when he gets there because the door is ajar, and he can already see Hange's figure moving inside. The young man wastes no time and enters the room, small box clenched in one hand.
"Oh, good morning, Levi! What brings you here today? Did Moblit tell you that I haven't left the study since last night?" She greets him nonchalantly as she adjusts her glasses. "I already told him that I'll go back to my barracks as soon as I'm—"
"What?! You haven't slept yet?" If he isn't holding his present on one hand, there's a fat chance he'll forget why he's here in the first place. He shoots her a stern look.
"Research calls, my friend. Can't really do anything about that. Anyway, why are you here so early?"
He tosses her the box, and she almost drops it. Hange regards him with puzzlement.
"Are you going to propose to me? But we haven't even known each other for a year."
Levi's eyes almost (almost) popped out. "What?! No!"
"Oh." She pouts. "Then what's this for?"
Levi sighs in exasperation. "Happy birthday, four-eyes."
Hange doesn't react for at least a split second before her eyes soften and the corners of her lips tug upwards to a smile. "How'd you know? Did Moblit tell you? He usually tells you things about me, after all."
"No. It's Erwin this time." He mumbles. "I saw it and I think you need those."
She hurriedly opens the box and smiles as she removes the set of hair ties he bought for her. Hange faces him again and Levi isn't sure if she's constipated or happy (or both) right now. He is then crushed in between her arms after closing the distance between them with long strides and an embrace.
"Thank you so much, Levi. I'll use all of it if you want me to!"
And she keeps her promise. When he sees her change her old hair tie with one of those from the set, Levi is mildly and secretly proud of himself.
Hange is the only one who is privileged enough to be the receiving end of Levi's teasing. Or at least that's how she sees it as: teasing. To those who don't really know Levi as much as she does (and she still has a lot to know about him), he's just downright being rude to her. Lucky for Levi then, that Hange isn't just any person.
In fact, she relishes this special treatment, as she labels it in her head.
She's positive she's not desperate for his attention. With what little she knows of Levi's past, she assumes that it all factored out to his abrasive choice of language and aloof demeanour towards acquaintances (that's right, acquaintances, and Hange is anything but an acquaintance, she claims). What he needs is to be understood, and to try to understand Levi, one needs to be patient.
"Does it bother you when Levi calls you names?"
She shrugs her shoulders. "No. It's how endears himself to me."
She gets collective looks of bafflement whenever she explains Levi's behaviour towards her, which she's gotten used to after having to answer them as soon as Levi's presence is gone. New recruits even stare at her in awe each time she gets close to the imposing young man, and she finds out from Moblit that half of them finds her audaciously brave for even invading Levi's personal space, and the other half thinks she's just plainly insane.
Levi's intimidating reputation escalates when one of their captive titans nearly chomped her arm off. With one quick swoop and a clean slash on the monster's nape, Levi eliminates the titan before it loses control and starts eating them one by one.
"Levi!" she yells at him when he lands a few steps away from her. "Why did you have kill Jeffrey?! He was already constrained!"
He throws her a glare that sends everyone present shivering. "You nearly got your arm eaten, and all you can think of is that stupid titan? You really are one screwed up shithead."
"You saw that I was able to retract it before he closed his mouth!"
"Well, what if it was a second quicker than you? You'd be a bloody mess by now!"
"Bloody mess, my foot. I've trained longer than you have, squirt!"
This time gasps are audible as Levi grabs her by the collar, causing her to stand on tiptoe. But she's not fazed. After all, he killed her experiment.
"And so were the other soldiers who died in the previous expeditions." He hisses. "Don't be living comfortably, four-eyes. You of all people should know better." And he lets go of her collar rashly that her knees collide on the cobblestones.
"Are you okay, Hange?" Moblit asks as he turns her around carefully to see if she needs assisting.
She glares at Levi before she faces Moblit and adjusts her glasses. "I'll be fine, Moblit. Just give me time to breathe."
News of what happened at the site reaches the HQ in record time and she not's surprised. With how monotonous life is for the Scouting Legion on days when they're not scheduled to survey the land, gossiping has become a source of entertainment. Sometimes Hange joins in on the fun, too, when she's not too busy (and Moblit fills her in anyway whenever she's inside her lab and he's there to assist her).
When Levi enters the mess hall, the gossiping doesn't completely stop, but the volume minimizes into mindless murmurs. He doesn't get a tray immediately like usual, and makes a quick search of the room to where she's seated. He nods his head when he sees her then proceeds to get his dinner.
It's only when Levi sits across her that the chattering stops. This leaves unnoticed by the young man.
"How are you feeling?" he asks her.
Hange grins. "Much better. I forgive you. Will you forgive me, too?"
Levi only shakes his head and scoffs.
"We can always a catch another one, after all. And this time, I'll make sure the constraints are sturdier so nobody gets eaten." She reaches to pinch his right cheek. "So you won't have to worry your little butt off."
He swats her hand away and shoves a spoonful of his dinner in his mouth. "Cut it out, shitty glasses. Let me eat my dinner in peace."
He says that, but he still joins her for dinner.
The young woman wants to tease him about how pink his cheeks are, and how embarrassment doesn't become of him, but she looks at him with fondness instead. She'll let him eat his dinner in peace.
(Wisdom tells the legion not to try to even understand the dynamics of Hange and Levi's relationship.)