Chocolate Frogs and Time Travel

One

In the middle of a mock four way duel at the beginning of their 6th year, James and Sirius both hit each other with spells at the same time. Right as Peter dropped down from the ceiling dumping some weird potion on them, and Remus sneezed while casting a spell, great globs of werewolf boogers flying into their faces, as the strange purple swirling mass of a sneezed out, and therefore malformed Tarantallegra impacted their chests.

Somehow, all of these things combined created a tear in the space-time continuum; ripping them away from their dorm on September 1st 1976, and sending them many years into the future. Lo, they tumbled out of the ceiling of the great hall in the middle of a sorting ceremony 19 years later, September 1st of 1995, just as some pink clothed toad was standing to make a speech. They tumbled and twisted through the air landing smack on Draco Malfoys head, pushing it down with such a force that the knife he was holding menacingly pierced right through his eyeball.

They felt terrible for a moment, until they realized it was a Malfoy of all things. At which they proceeded to giggle loudly, look at each other and proclaim "What the fuck just happened!?" loudly together.

Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey rushed down from the head table, whereupon Pomfrey took one look at the pool of blood under Malfoy's face and pronounced him dead for all to hear. Dumbledore quickly grabbed James and Sirius and rushed them away to his office.

"Well boys," He addressed them, "Given the death of Mr. Malfoy I suspect you shall find yourselves in a great deal of trouble soon, however the entire Great Hall saw, and most would be willing to lend the memory of the accident. So I suppose it would be rather impossible to charge you with murder of any degree."

"Well that's a relief." James grinned.

Dumbledore twinkled at them, "Would you mind telling me how you came to be here?"

Sirius looked at Dumbledore, James looked at Sirius, Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at them both.

"Is it just me Prongs, or does Dumbledore look even older to you too?"

James looked at Dumbledore, Sirius looked at James, Dumbledore's eyes stopped twinkling.

"He does indeed look it Padfoot," Then addressing Dumbledore, "What happened to you man?"

"More accurately, what happened to the two of you? I believe you are, James Potter and Sirius Black?"

"Well obviously," Sirius answered, "There's nothing wrong with us, I mean, sure no one here looks quite like they're supposed to, but I suppose that's just from our annual prank."

"Wait, Padfoot, Dumbledore's old right?"

"Yeah, what do you mean by it Prongs?"

"No like, he's older than normal, and the prank we had set out was only going to swap the robes around so girls were wearing boys' kits and vice versa. Moreover, I remember that happening as planned."

"Wait a minute! You're right Prongsie! Then we had that duel in our dorms and Moony sneezed and… Dumbledore, what's going on?"

"It would appear," He answered them, "That you are not in the time you should be, if my memory serves, the gender bender prank was at the start of your 6th year… am I correct boys?"

"Yes, quite correct sir." They answered together.

"Well then, I believe you have been flung 19 years into the future, but nevertheless, your education must be continued. I shall make room for you in the Gryffindor 6th year boys dorm. Though I suppose I must warn you Mr. Potter, your son in currently in his 5th year here."

"Oh cool! When do I get to meet my older self?"

Dumbledore looked morose, "I am afraid, Mr. Potter, that you died when young Harry was only a year old, and your wife with you. Lord Voldemort targeted the two of you, and, you both died in the effort to save your son."

Sirius looked gloomy at the prospect of a future without James, but in a moment of insight, realized that if they were in this time now, nothing of the horrible past would ever happen. So long as they were never forced back that is. "Sir, can we stay here forever?"

"It would not be a good idea for that to occur Mr. Black, you are required in your own era, and the powers that be are quite unsteady with such a large alteration in time. However, I have no idea how to send you back, so it would appear as though you are trapped here for the meantime."

Shortly after James and Sirius left the office and made their way to the Gryffindor tower, upon entering James pointed at a boy who looked strikingly similar to himself and proclaimed triumphantly "He has Lily's eyes!"

Harry Potter turned around and nearly keeled over from a heart attack. Hermione Granger replied without looking up from her book "Well of course he has his mother's eyes, honestly, everyone with half a brain knows that."

James smirked at Sirius; Sirius sighed and extracted a galleon from his pocket. "Fine you win, you DO end up with Evans."

Harry Potter recovered "Who are you two? You look like my dad, and you…" He gave a pointed look to Sirius, "look like my godfather, only, younger, and less miserable."

"Well Harry Potter, I am James Potter, your father, and my companion is Sirius Black."

"That's impossible," Hermione butted in, "You can't travel that far into the future, it would rip space-time apart. The universe would consume itself."

"Well, maybe it has, given that for some reason this oaf is Harry's Godfather."

"Oi! I'd make a wonderful Godfather."

"Yes but Lily hates you, would never happen, Remus ought to be Godfather. She actually likes him."

Harry interjected, "Actually, Professor Lupin couldn't be my godfather because of all the ministry restrictions on… well, you know."

"Ministry restrictions? Why would that stop us?" James looked horrified.

Sirius was more concerned with another point, "Professor Lupin? James, pay up."

James huffed and handed over a galleon.

That night the Potters and Sirius covered a great many topics of history, but by far, the most pressing issue to the two time travellers was that little Harry Potter, was a virgin. 'It is my Godfatherly duty to get this kid laid.' Sirius thought to himself. 'My son? A fifth year? Not even gotten a nice feel up of a girl yet? This must be amended.' James decided.

And so, James and Sirius had become determined to get young Mr. Potters rocks off.