Chapter I

"I had a great time tonight, Steve." Natasha said with a bright smile on her face after Steve had walked her home. They had been to Shakespeare in the Park and afterwards stopped by a diner for fries and milkshakes. She'd really enjoyed tonight. "Thanks for inviting me."

"You're welcome." He smiled fondly. She could basked in the way he looked at her forever. And she was itching to run her hands through his longer hair and the beard he currently had. He'd grown his hair for a undercover mission and decided to keep it after it had ended. The look really suited him and it gave him some kind of privacy since he wasn't so recognizable anymore.

He was still smiling at her and she smiled back. Warmth was blooming in her chest and she was glad that she wasn't blushing. No one had ever looked at her the way Steve was looking at her. They had been dancing around crossing the line to being more than just friends for months now, and she couldn't help but feel like tonight had been a date. Not that she had ever been on a real one.

Natasha wasn't romantic, not at all, she scoffed at things that made other people swoon, but Steve Rogers...God, he made her feel things that she had always thought that she was incapable of. He had changed her forever. For the first time in her life, she wanted romance. She wanted a boyfriend. God, what happened to her?

"Natasha?" He asked carefully while looking at her intensely.

"Yes?" She licked her lips because of the emotions she could see in his eyes and his gaze immediately dropped to her mouth.

"Can I...Can I kiss you?" His expression was a mix between nervousness and hope. And on top of that, he also managed to give her a little sheepish smile.

There had been a lot of almost kisses in the last months with interruptions or one of them bailing in the last moment, but she knew that it would finally happen today. The moment was here and it was perfect.

"Yes." She was almost giddy and felt like one of those women on TV who finally got their dream guy.

He beamed at her and leaned forward, his big and warm hands cupping her face and he softly pressed his lips against hers. They were both smiling and just kissed each other for what felt like a lifetime and yet it wasn't long enough. She had pictured this moment for so long and she was happy to report that Steve lived up to her expectations. He was an amazing kisser! He kissed her so softly and with so much care that she wanted to melt.

Her arms were hugging his waist when he pulled away with a soft smile on his face. "I've wanted to do that for a long time, Nat."

"I know. Me, too." She whispered back and gave him a peck on his lips just because she could do that now.

Steve smiled with his eyes closed and she felt something in her chest fluttering. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. "I think we should do that again."

"The date or the kissing?" She grinned and Steve nuzzled her nose with his.

"Both." His thumb brushed over her cheekbone and she was amazed at how affectionate he was and how much she liked it. "Goodnight, Natasha."

"Goodnight." She echoed and kissed him again.

Natasha watched him walking down the street and he turned around to look at her with a big smile on his face before he disappeared around the corner and was out of her sight.

She walked up to her apartment, smiling to herself. Kissing him had felt right. She was a bit terrified about the change in their relationship, but she was ready to take the next step. She wanted to date him. She wanted a romantic relationship with him.

She opened her front door and immediately froze on the spot. Someone was in here. She could sense it. She went for the gun hidden underneath the little table where she put her keys, and walked further into the apartment. Who the fuck was so stupid to break into her place? Did they have some kind of death wish?

She got into the kitchen and the intruder was sitting at her kitchen table from what she could make out in the dark.

"Natalia, hello."

She flicked the light switch on and was looking at the Winter Soldier, but he didn't have that dead look in his eyes. "Barnes?"

"Sorry for breaking in." He nodded at her gun. "You don't need that. I'm not here to hurt you. I...I didn't know where else to go."

She eyed him carefully and decided in the end to put her gun away. He didn't pose a threat at the moment. "What about Rogers' place? He's been looking for you for years! What are you doing in my apartment?"

"Because you know what it's like." He took a deep breath. "Steve doesn't and I'm more than grateful for that. He doesn't know what it's like to be a weapon. You and I do."

She sat down at the kitchen table. "You seem like you're in control."

"I am. I should be, as long as no one says my words. I remember you, Natalia. I remember that I trained you. I helped them turn you into their pawn." He looked at the kitchen table and then back at her. "I'm sorry."

"We were both pawns, but now we're free. I should call Steve-"

"No! Don't! I'm not ready. I can't...I don't wanna see him yet." He gave her a pleading look. "Don't tell him."

Keeping this from Steve made her feel nauseous. She couldn't lie to him. She'd promised herself after SHIELD's fall that she would never lie to him again. She couldn't lie to him, especially now when things were changing between them. God, five minutes ago she had been on cloud nine and now this.

"Steve is my friend. And he looked everywhere for you! He's beating himself up for not saving you."

He released a heavy sigh. "I know. But I can't face him yet. He's looking for his best friend Bucky and I'm not that person anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be him again. Please, don't tell him."

"So what's your plan? And why are you in my kitchen?" She avoided answering his request.

If she told Steve that she had seen Barnes, she knew that he would leave the city before Steve would even have the chance to try talking to him. She didn't want to get his hopes up. But if Steve somehow found out that she had seen his best friend and hadn't told him about it...She didn't think that he would forgive her. And she hadn't even told him yet that she knew Barnes from the Red Room. That he had been her trainer. He had been in the room when she had killed her first target and then he'd slapped her for being sloppy. She didn't think that Steve would take that information very well.

"There's still stuff I have to work through. And there's a book with my words in it. My trigger words. I have to find it before someone else does. I was hoping you would help me in tracking it down." He gave her a sheepish look and for the first time he looked like the charming guy that Steve had told her about. "And I was hoping I could stay here for a while."

"What?!"

"Your couch looks nice."

She raised her eyebrow at him, starting to feel infuriated. "You want me to lie to Steve and sleep on my couch? So you expect that I'm just gonna work with him and keep the fact that his long lost best friend is crashing on my couch a secret?"

"I know I'm asking a lot and I get that you don't like to keep that from him since the two of you are... you know." He trailed off and smiled a little. How much did he know? Had he been watching them? She crossed her arms over her chest, she was starting to get really pissed. "I will see Steve. Eventually. I promise you that. And I won't tell him that you let me stay here. I go see Steve as soon as we have that book, okay? But as long as that book is out there, I'm a threat. A threat to Steve."

She knew deep down that he was manipulating her. Steve's safety was the most importing thing to her. "One month. You can stay here for a month and we look for that book. And after that month I'll tell Steve that you're here. And you're going to talk to him. Whether we have that book or not. If you don't accept that offer, I will restrain you and call Steve so he can pick you up."

Barnes looked like he was weighing his options. "Okay, fine. I'm not doing this to hurt Steve. Or to jeopardize what you two have. He's still...he's still my best friend. I just want what's best for him. It's my job to protect him. It always has been."

He seemed so sad and confused in that moment that it almost broke her heart. "I know. Or otherwise I wouldn't agree to this." She looked down at her hands in her lap. "I just hope that he'll forgive me." She mumbled quietly. She didn't think that she could take it if he started to hate her. That would kill her.

"He will." Barnes said softly and she glanced back up at him. "He's in love with you. He will forgive you."