This piece was originally posted several years ago, but after having been extremely dissatisfied with it, I took it down. I posted a revised version some time later, and despite still not being completely happy with it, I just let it be. Be mindful that there are grammatical errors purposely included. Beast Boy is the one narrating, after all.

Edit: I revised it. Again. But only because I'm posting the link on Tumblr, and it's been years since I've read this thing.

Simply Strange Situations
I do not own Teen Titans.

"Beast Boy! Get back here! That's an order!"

This was typical; someone yells and then I run. And when Robin yells, I usually have a lump on my head by the end of the day. But this moment was too good to pass up. When you catch your best friend, who happens to be Mr. I-Have-A-Stick-Up-My-Butt, on candid camera completely embarrassing himself, you would be stupid to let such an opportunity slip by. Chase all he wants. Give me all the lumps in the world. The Boy Blunder will never live this down, especially when I show her...

"Oh Starfire! I have something to shooooow yooooou!"

I doubt that shout came out all that clearly. I was laughing too much, and if you didn't know, laughing and running at the same time is really hard to do. At least for me. But I had to stay focused on my objective! I morphed into a cheetah, made sure I had a hold on the video camera between my teeth, and sprinted away. I would have been in the clear too, but I had to skid to a halt when Raven walked in front of me. Returning to my normal (dashing) human self, I glanced over my shoulder. Robin was closing in, and fast. He was like a raging bull, what with steam coming out of his flared nostrils and his spiked hair almost curled into little horns. I would be dead soon if I didn't move. I considered my options, but broke out of thought when Raven spoke up.

"What are you doing?"

She raised an eyebrow, eyeing me accusingly. Again, something typical. If I had a penny for every time Raven rolled her eyes and walked away after hearing about one of my brilliant schemes, I'd be a very rich Beast Boy. Then again, I totally know that all of her sarcastic commentsare just a part of an elaborate cover up. What is she covering up, you may ask? The fact that I am clearly the man of her dreams! Who wouldn't be able to refuse such a charming, pointy-eared, man-hunk such as myself? I mean really! She'll admit it one day.

What?

It's true!

Anyway, I didn't have time to give her the whole story. I could fill her in on the details later – when stopping didn't mean I'd be the world's first superhero roadkill, pancaked and all. With that thought, I brushed off my shoulders, lunged past her, and broke into a run. Barely able to keep a straight face, I shouted back my response.

"I caught Robin flexing in front of his mirror confessing his undying love for Starfire!"

That was it. I totally lost it. I was laughing so hard I nearly started crying. I have no idea how I managed to keep myself from falling over. But I wanted to see how the other reacted too. Somehow keeping my balance, I looked back down the hall behind me. I wasn't surprised to see Robin red-faced and fuming, but Raven was smirking. Smirking. Do you understand what that means? If Raven was smirking, and let's be honest, smiling is as close to laughing as Raven gets, then this was definitely great material.

As I rounded the final corner, I could see Starfire's bedroom door up ahead. This was the home stretch; I couldn't blow it when the mission was nearly complete! So, motivated by another rage-fueled shout from our leader, I shifted into a hawk, camera between my talons, and zoomed to the finish line. But not past the finish line. Because running into a steel door kind of hurts. Anyway! Faster than you could say... well faster than you could say fast, I opened her door, jumped inside with my best grin, and sang my hello. It was show time!

But boy, was that the biggest mistake I ever made... knock first kids. I mean, I used to day-dream about Starfire when she first joined the team. Anyone with eyeballs can see just how pretty she is. Coupled with the first impression she made, what with the fighting and the kissing and the giant reptile dudes and the badass glowy eyes? She's awesome. But at this point? She's like a big sister, and calling your sister hot is kind of creepy. So... seeing her, this benign alien princess, undressing to get into her pajamas? Super weird. It's especially weird because I don't know what benign means. And maybe the fact that she was topless at that very moment had something to do with it.

"Whoa..."

That was the only thing that came out of my mouth, or the only thing that sounded like a word. And Robin was no different. He had caught up to me, standing stiff in the doorway with the same look on his face a.k.a. blushed, dazed and confused. This just couldn't end well.

I snapped back to reality as she shouted at us, something in Tamaranian. No doubt something bad. All the while, she was trying to cover her now very visible chest. Her face was redder than anything else I had ever seen, her eyes glowing with green light. One of her arms was caught in her sleeve, the elbow sticking out since she had stopped halfway between getting her shirt off. And did I mention the very visible chest? I couldn't imagine what kind of things she was thinking. Altogether, this was making my eye twitch. Badly.

Not wanting to wait for the impending doom of an angry alien to maul me to pieces, I turned away and squeezed my eyes shut. I waited for Robin to do the same, but I poked an eye open to see that he didn't. I wanted to hit him upside the head, but I figured that could be her job. Poor Robin... I knew thee well.

"Star... wow... Wait! I mean I'm sor-"

In the middle of Robin's sentence, I saw a purple brush rocket across the room and land square on his forehead. To say he was shocked would be an understatement. He lost his footing, wobbled in place, and brought a hand to rub the newly formed bruise away. His breathing was coming out in gasps, and he finally snapped his eyes closed. I doubt he would admit to how nervous and embarrassed he was later, but you know what they say, 'Denial isn't just a river in Ohio.' Wait, or was it Denver...

In any case, the Boy Wonder turned around and we both bounded out of the room just as the door slammed shut. Robin turned to me, eyes wide, trying to mouth some sort of silent apology, but he gave up. He resorted to banging the back of his head against the cold steel door with his eyes closed and fists clenched. After about five hits, he slowly started sliding down to the floor in a puddle of wounded pride.

All of the commotion brought Cyborg into the hall. He towered over us, staring blankly and in search of an answer. Raven came into view as he spoke of his confusion.

"Did I miss something?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but immediately stopped while I was ahead. That was because we heard a muffled shout from behind the door, no doubt another Tamaranian curse. Not daring to speak again, we waited in compete silence.

"Ahem..."

Sheepishly, me and Robin, who had sloppily managed to stand up, faced the now open door, and Starfire was standing in the doorway. Fully dressed, might I add. She motioned for us to enter, and we did. I wouldn't want to not listen to her now, especially after she turned a brush into a lethal weapon.

"I believe I would like an explanation and an apology..."

We stayed quiet, looking to the ground like little kids who just got caught by their mother. My feet shifted, tapping the ground with my toe. I could see the color of her glowing fist reflecting on the purple carpet. Uncomfortable silences weren't my thing. It seemed like Robin was mirroring my movements too, which didn't get us anywhere. I finally took the initiative and met her gaze. If I didn't look up, I would have thought she was going to murder us. But she was smiling! And not only was she smiling, she started to giggle! I didn't think I was any luckier, but dude was I wrong!

The next thing I know, the starbolt-to-be faded and Star had playfully tackled Robin to the ground.Playfully! It was so much to take in! I could hardly believe that Robin was face down in the floor with Starfire sitting happily on his back. At that second, I came to the glorious realization that my video camera was still in my hand. I aimed the camera, recorded the shot, and slowly backed out of the room. I take back what I said before about Star being the reddest thing I have ever seen. Robin was. I had to voice my fate.

"This rocks! I have two videos now... The blackmail, the money, the headlines! I can see it now: Robin, the Boy Wonder, bachelor of a generation, defeated by potential girlfriend. Has he lost his touch?"

In all of my life, I never had laughed that hard. I didn't know what else to do. Cyborg's hearty chuckle joined in with my own, but it wasn't long until a sphere of black energy pulled me and Cy out of the room, drawing out a few muffled complaints. Killjoy. Raven slowly dragged us down the hallway, hood up, and smirking.

But I knew that, not only did I get my fill of fun, I did something that would help those two. If we ever starred in one of those mushy, lovey dovey, chick flicks, they would have the plot. The way they were acting was starting to get really annoying too. I swear... if I saw them bump into each other or even catch one of them glancing at the other, they would giggle and blush. It made me want to hurl just by the fact that Robin could giggle. It's scary sometimes. But seriously, Robin and Starfire found each other from halfway across the galaxy. Literally. From the moment she joined the team, me, Cy, and Raven knew this was just a time bomb waiting to explode.

Thank god this fiasco had finally hammered into their heads what was right in front of their eyes. Besides, I'm positive Star heard me when I was running down the hallway and telling Raven what happened. As funny as it was to make fun of em', it was about time they acted on it. And you know why I know all of this? It's not just because I'm a genius with infinite knowledge of the entire universe... and you know that's true. But the less obvious reason is what I heard from Star's room when we turned the corner.

"Were you bare-chested while conversing with your mirror, or did you find it necessary to borrow mine?"