It was a regular meeting at the World Conference Center. Greece was happily sleeping with a cat or two laying in his lap. Italy was animatedly babbling about the beauty of pasta to a rather fed up Germany. Japan was sitting down nearby the two, vigorously working on his GerIta doujinshi. Poland was describing his, like, excellent new shoes that he had, like, just bought, to Lithuania, and, like, how totes gorgeous he looked in them. Sealand was standing in his chair ranting about how he was a nation (even though he really wasn't). England was busy kicking France's ass for calling his eyebrows big. Russia was creeping on a disturbed China. It seems the only thing that wasn't normal was the never-ending voice of a particular obnoxious American….
"Yo, dudes! The Hero has arrived!"
Ahhh, there it was.
The interruption stopped England from delivering another punch to France's face, and he looked up as America walked through the doors.
"Bugger, and here I thought I was going to have a semi-well morning…" England muttered, agitated at the annoyance that was his former colony.
America just laughed, and was about to say more, but was cut off by Germany.
"Yes, well, now that America has arrived, we may begin the meeting," Germany stated loudly, successfully acquiring the attention of the majority of the countries (Greece was still asleep).
Before Germany could continue his presentation on developing a more environmental friendly method for blah-blah-blah-blah, he was interrupted, once again, by, you guessed it, America.
"Wait up a sec there, bro. The Hero has an announcement to make!" America quickly stepped up to the front of the room, switching the countries attention to himself.
Britain was quick to shout, "Oh, for the love of the Queen, would you just sit down!?"
Germany was about to remove the American from his position, so that they could at least attempt to continue the meeting without any more interruptions, but looked back as his arm was grabbed by Italy.
"Ve~! Let America speak, maybe he'll say something about pasta!" Italy smiled at the thought.
Germany groaned and rubbed the spot between his eyes as the beginning of a headache came upon him. By then, it was too late, and it'd probably be easier just to let America do what he wanted. Germany had his hands full with Italy already anyway.
America shot his trademark Hollywood smile at his audience and proceeded, ignoring the negative comments of some of the nations (who were obviously just jealous). He quickly brought out his laptop and pressed on to set it up to the screen. A few minutes later, once everything had been put into the right place, America stood once again.
This time it was Romano who spoke out, "What the hell is so damn important about a YouTube video, Hamburger Bastard?!" Everyone looked up to see that Romano had been correct. The website, YouTube, was up on the screen, ready for use.
"Ahahaha! You'll see, dude! It's totally awesome!" America typed a few words on his laptop and soon a video popped up on the screen.
"Um, America-san, I fail to see the relevance of this to the meeting…" Japan said, staring confusedly at the screen.
America's smile got larger, "It's a music video! I found it while I was scrolling through my Tumblr dash this week and I just had to show it at the meeting! Cool, huh?!"
And before anyone else could protest further, America clicked the play button.
"You know…
I've always thought stereotypes were kinda' ridiculous…"
"What the hell is this, aru?!"
America waved off China's agitation, eagerly bouncing on his feet.
"So I wrote a song about it.
And it goes a little something like this."
"Ve~! A song!"
An up-beat music filled the conference room, and immediately America started dancing and singing along with the lyrics, with South Korea also joining in.
"I think I love you more,
Than the Japanese love tentacle porn!"
"Aiya! You're into that, aru?!" China asked, shocked.
A strangled closed-mouth scream came from Japan as he sat up in his seat in surprise. His face was quick to turn red as the other countries looked at him with either disturbed or amused faces; he slowly slunk down in his seat and covered his face in embarrassment.
"And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance!
To these stereotypes~!"
By that time, most of the nations had joined in and started dancing to the catchy song. France was trying to get England to dance with him by rubbing up on the island country, but he was stopped shortly after once he got a kick to the crotch.
"Let's come together, and live in this world~
Like a unibrow on an Indian girl~!"
India's face took on a highly insulted expression, "My girls' eyebrows are perfectly fine, Mūrkha!
"And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance!
To these stereotypes~!"
"Of course a wanker like you would listen to something as childish as this!" England yelled at the American.
America laughed and continued dancing, "Aww, don't be such a party-killer, Iggy! It's just for fun! It's called the 'Stereotype' song for a reason!"
"Check it out now!
I love those fat Americans!
Ya' know they so obnoxious!
They always eatin' burgers;
They always holdin' shotguns!"
America mimed holding a gun and shooting England as the Briton started laughing at the insult.
Russia hummed, "Da, I like this song."
"And I love Mexicans!
The way they mow my lawn;
They all got a hundred kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on!"
"What is this mierda?!" an angry Mexico yelled. "I am not a Spaniard, ¡muchas gracias!"
An eruption of heated Spanish by the nations, who were sure wasn't polite.
"Uh-huh! 'Cause that's the way they roll!
You gotta' go big like an Israeli nose!"
"My nose isn't that big!" Israel said vehemently, pouting slightly.
"You ever buy a pint for an Irish guy,
And he's outta' control like a Chinese driver~!"
Scotland laughed as he slapped Ireland's back, "He's got you there, mate!"
Ireland shrugged as if to say 'point taken.'
"My driving is not reckless, aru! If anyone's is, it's those annoying Americans!" China raved, not even noticing the comforting hand Russia placed on his shoulder.
"I love the Middle East,
But how do they handle?
Rockin' burkas while they ridin' camels!
Aiyaiyaiyaiyai!"
Turkey groaned in frustration. Egypt face-palmed. Iraq grit his teeth, and Iran frowned. The rest of the Middle Eastern countries followed suit, but the overall attitude of the group was basically, 'are you fucking kidding me?'
"I love Jamaicans!
Yeah, they cool,
But they always high!
So don't let 'em fool ya!
Yeah! Mun!"
Jamaica was, at the moment, too high to comment.
"And I love them Puerto Ricans!
Even though they wipe their ass about once a weekend!"
After the few minutes of confusion it took to realize that Puerto Rico was an American colony, but of Spanish descent, the other nations just decided to 'ew!' at both of them.
"I'm just joking!
If you didn't know!
Then you're a little slow,
And you're probably from Poland~!"
"Like, what is he implying, Liet? I'm fucking, like, totes fabulous! Like, for real, he needs to, like, check himself before, like, he wrecks himself," Poland said in that 'valley girl' accent of his, and even incorporated a z-snap in his little comeback.
Lithuania frantically shook his head and smiled awkwardly, "Oh, I'm sure it was nothing, Pol, don't worry about it."
"I think I love you more!
Than the Japanese love tentacle porn~!"
The countries ignored the thud, thud, thud that came from the Japanese man trying to break the table with his head.
"Ve~! Japan, are you alright?" Italy, concerned, asked his friend.
"And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance!
To these stereotypes!"
America's voice had gotten louder and louder as the chorus was replayed. It seemed as if he had gotten really into it, and by doing so, had gotten the others to join in as well. There was even a little freestyle floor for the more adventurous dancers: South Korea, America, Prussia, and even France (though he just wanted to cop a feel). Even Italy was swaying and singing in that cute, chibi, voice of his.
Germany, on the other hand, was silently praying for an end to his ever-growing headache, "Mein Gott, why do we even listen to America's ideas…?"
"Let's come together and live in this world~
Like a unibrow on an Indian girl~!
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance!
To these stereotypes!"
India scowled sullenly, "It's only because of that stupid England's influence…"
"This is getting annoying real fast, aru…"
"We become one now, da?"
"Check it out now!
Awwwww, Yeah!
Lem'me hear ya' yell
If ya' the outback, red-neck Australians!"
Australia, instead of being insulted, probably yelled the loudest amongst the crowd of countries.
New Zealand, though, was rather quiet during the event…
"And the crooked ass teeth of an English dude!
And those creepy Italians,
Who, think they're smooth!
Mama-Mia~!"
"I have never heard anything as absurd as that! Hmph! Wanker!" England turned red in anger as Scotland and his brothers laughed, which is strange since they're also considered Englishmen.
"Oui, they are rather skewed, no?" France said in humor as he got up close to England's face and stared at his mouth. "I could check for you, Angleterre, but it would best be done if I used my most sensitive muscle, my tongue…" He purred as he moved in closer to the pissed Briton.
"Clear off you bloody frog-face!" England snarled as he held up his fist in a threatening behavior.
"Wah! Germany~! You don't think I'm creepy, do you Germany!? Germany~! I'm not creepy, right~!" Italy sobbed pitifully as he threw himself at the German.
"Oh, Mein Gott…"
"What the fuck did you just say!? I'm more smooth than you, you fucker! Where is that hamburger bastard!? He's dead!" Romano struggled as Spain held him in an attempt to comfort the obviously hurt Italian.
"Of course you are Lovi~! I think you're the smoothest person ever~!" Spain said happily as he thought of how cute his poco tomate could be.
"And how could anyone hate the French~!?"
"Ohonhon~ This is true~!"
"Yeah!
I know their hairy women don't shave their pitts!"
England's mocking laughter died down as France laughed along with him.
"This is also true," France said, giving England a suggestive face that bluntly asked if the Englishman would like to find out.
"Brazilian girls~
Is what ya' want!
Walkin' 'round town with them ba-donk-a-donks~!"
Prussia wolf-whistled in tandem with the singer. He was then hit in the head with a rampant frying pan that everyone knew was thrown by Hungary.
Brazil blushed as she crossed her arms to cover her appreciative chest. Ukraine smiled at her sympathetically, her chest being even more prominent than the Brazilian's. They ended the touching moment with a fist bump of acceptance.
"I love Africans~
But hold up a second!
National Geographic says they all butt-naked!
Breasts hangin' low!
What have they done with their clothes?"
France paused his dancing/grope fest and changed his direction toward the African nations to deduce for himself if this was true.
"It's disappeared like coke up a Columbian's nose!"
Columbia swiftly sneaked through the doors of the conference room, most likely to go find a vacant room to do, well, you already know what.
"Uh-oh~!
You're all on my checklist!
Even Russian guys,
Who drink vodka for breakfast~!"
Russia pulled out his pipe, "Kolkolkolkol~ He shall regret putting me on this checklist, da?" His terrifying demeanor changed, and he put his pipe away, smiling cutely, "But I shall forgive him for the vodka~!"
"They're stereotypes!
And if ya' believe them,
Then your brain is small
Like a Korean penis~!"
South Korea abandoned his happy dancing, and America, still smiling, held up a fist for a fist bump.
"Small penises originated in Korea, 'amirite dude?"
"Da-ze!" Korea screeched in humiliation, "Andwae! That's not true at all!" He stomped off toward China, intending to grab the Asian man's 'breasts' in a hope to heal his wounded pride.
America shrugged and moved over to England to persuade the smaller man to dance with him.
"I think I love you more~
Than the Japanese love tentacle porn~!
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance!
To these stereotypes~!"
"Ve! Japan! You're hurting the poor table with your head! Please stop!"
"Let's come together~
And live in this world~!
Like a unibrow on an Indian girl~!
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance!
To these stereotypes~!"
India had soon followed Japan's course of action for dealing with the lyrics.
America's dancing started getting more impatient, "Oh~! This is the best part!"
"All together now!
I love Scotsmen~!
Though, they hump sheep~!"
"This is bloody great! Come on now, everyone, sing along!" England cried joyfully, singing the lyrics as loud as he could.
"I do not fucking hump sheep, ya' fucking bawbag!" Scotland raged as he was held back by his cackling brothers. "If anyone here is a sheepshagger, it's fuckin' Wales!"
England laughed harder when New Zealand cautiously eyed the Scotsman from the other side of the room, holding his pet sheep tighter in his arms.
"I love Scotsmen, though, they hump sheep~!
I love Scotsmen, though, they hump sheep~!
I love Scotsmen, though, they hump sheep~!"
Wales guffawed, "That is well bad, 'innit!"
"Yeah!
They hump sheep~!
They hump sheep~!
They hump sheep~!"
"AmurNay!" Scotland cried in denial. He continued to thrash as England started pointing and laughing at the Scottie. Scotland growled at his younger brother, "Away n' bile yir head ya stumur, don't be sae stupit! When ah get my hands on ya', yer deid, ya' eeejit!"
"I think I love you more~
Than the Japanese love tentacle porn~!
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance!
To these stereotypes~!
Let's come together~
And live in this world~
Like a unibrow on an Inidian girl~!
And we should-
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
To these stereotypes~!"
Prussia sang loudly and off-key, by now having gotten down the chorus well enough to sing it right. He ducked as another frying pan whipped through the air, aiming for the spot where his awesome head had been mere seconds before. He smirked in triumph as he stood, but his victory was for naught as another frying pan was viciously thrown at him again, this one hitting its target.
"Yeah...!
Aheheheh…
I'm just playin'!
You know I love you guys!"
There was a wide-spread exhale of relief at the conclusion of the song.
"But, seriously.
Don't hump any sheep.
Bahhh~!"
"That was smashing!" England smiled widely, but his grin faded as he watched with panicking eyes as Ireland and Wales released the greatly ticked off Scotland, who, once released, charged at England. The island country grunted as he was tackled to the floor and promptly given a good thrashing.
Through all of the loudness and chaos of the debacle, Greece had, surprisingly, remained asleep. Huh, he's weird like that.
America laughed at England 'playing' with his elder brothers. He turned and gave a wide bow to his audience. He stood up straight afterwards, and his easygoing smile changed into a forced and somewhat frightened grimace.
"Does anyone else here feel like they're being watched? You don't think that video released, like, a stereotype ghost, or something, right? Ahahahaha…!"
As America got more and more freaked out, nobody heard the soft, whispered voice speak up.
"That was a nice song, wasn't it Kumafouji?" Canada gave a timid smile to his pet bear.
"Who?"
"… I'm Canada…"