Disclaimer: Not mine, not making anything, but I'm keeping the Cuban Sex God. Deal with it!
Huge, Mountainous, Astronomical thanks and kudos to Angie, who helped me sort out the jumbled mess I started with and found all those nasty mistakes I'm prone to. And to Kym and Tara, who read and encouraged me to continue. Thanks, Babes!
Okay, so I was rereading 'A Hard Eight's Night' and thought "why in the hell did I end it there?" My only excuse was that I was still in a daze. I'd been writing smut about the CSG, for God's sake! So, this is what SHOULD have happened the next morning…
After Eight: The Next Morning…
Layer by layer I felt myself drift awake; my pillow moved and then the warmth that had been at my back was suddenly gone. I turned over and tried to focus on the man who was moving silently towards my bathroom, sleepily admiring the sculpted muscles of his ass before he closed the door and cut off my view.
I glanced at the alarm clock on my nightstand; the time reading 8:07am in glaring red letters. I groaned and turned back over, snuggling under the covers as a chill began to work its way insidiously through the loose covering. No way was I getting up this early after last night's mind-boggling marathon of insatiable sex and surprisingly intimate couplings. We hadn't said much with our voices, but spoke volumes with our lips, tongues, teeth and hands, not to mention other, more sensitive parts of our bodies.
I had almost drifted off again when I felt the bed dip just as the blankets were lifted to allow Ranger to crawl back under the covers. He snuggled me back into his chest, tucking the covers around me carefully to make sure I didn't get a chill from the morning air.
I felt the softest of kisses as his lips began blazing a trail of heat from my shoulder to my neck, his teeth nipping gently before his tongue shot out and laved the spot even before any pain registered. It felt so good that my body decided it didn't need any more sleep; something much more pleasant than sleep awaited me, and I wasn't too stupid to ignore it.
His hands began to work their way up my chest, cupping and caressing my breasts until my nipples stood up proud and aching, hard enough to cut diamonds. I moaned, feeling the wetness gush from my body as heat began to build all the way from my toes to the top of my head. I barely noticed his lips curving in a smile as he continued to nip and kiss at my neck and shoulders, pulling the skin into his mouth and sucking gently.
I almost cried out in disappointment as one hand abandoned my breast and skimmed down my belly; it reached the curls that heralded the Promised Land and his finger began to tease and circle my lips that had become slick with my juices. I groaned in frustration as he circled my clit, ignoring the bundle of nerves in favor of caressing the surrounding flesh; he was driving me mad with lust.
His cock was nudging me from behind, hard and huge as he probed the juncture of my thighs, straining to find its way inside my moist heat. I didn't protest this time; last night he'd shown me how exquisite it felt to be entered from behind, and I relaxed my legs in breathless anticipation, pushing my ass back against him to hurry him along.
He chuckled, his lips sucking my earlobe into his mouth and nipping the skin there. "Something you want, Babe?" he breathed into my ear, his breath whispering across the side of my face as I turned my head.
"Please! I need you inside me, Ranger. I need you now!" My frustration was clearly evident in my voice, and he must've decided not to prolong my agony any longer, because suddenly he pushed into me hard and fast, his hand positioned to hold me to him as he retreated and then slammed into me even harder.
I screamed in ecstasy as his tip hit my g-spot again and again, pounding harder and faster with each thrust. He held his hand splayed out to keep my body from ricocheting away, his finger curving to circle my clit vigorously until I careened over the edge. I was spasming so hard I barely heard him shout when he finally reached his own orgasm; the splattering of his cum on my walls triggering another wave of pleasure in me so intense and prolonged my scream of pleasure was barely a whisper.
It was some time before I finally floated back down, unaware that he had turned me on my back and was holding himself over me. I opened my eyes to find him watching my face intently, his skin glistening with sweat from his exertions.
"What?" I asked lazily, feeling too good to wonder at the look in his eyes.
Instead of answering, he lowered his head and brushed his lips across mine softly, raising a hand to bury it in my hair and keep my head where he could continue his ministrations without interruption.
He moved his lips languorously over my face, placing feathery kisses on my eyelids, cheeks, nose and forehead before returning to my mouth. His lips latched onto mine, and then the kiss deepened, becoming more intimate than before. Much to my surprise, I could actually feel the underlying emotion in his kiss, and it shook me.
He evidently sensed that he'd caused a reaction in me that he hadn't intended, because he drew back and studied my face, looking for a clue as to what I was feeling. In my confused state, I absentmindedly noted the frown on his face, and a snarky thought about the failure of his ESP entered my mind before it fled in the face of more important and pressing thoughts. What was he thinking?
"Babe." His voice was soft, almost a whisper.
"Yeah, Ranger?" There was an intensity to his tone which made me study him closer.
"What are your plans now that Morelli's out of the picture?" At my startled expression he froze. "He is out of the picture isn't he, Stephanie?" The look on his face was dark, making me shiver.
I licked my lips and thought about that. Was he? I ran the arguments through my mind that led up to this last 'off again' period with Joe. Did I want us to be 'on again'? Was the sex worth all the fighting and ultimatums that heralded another break? With a sigh I realized I didn't want to do that anymore. It was a merry-go-round that was never going to stop, and I was tired of the constant bickering, the incessant name-calling, and most of all the continuous need to defend myself and my job and my friends.
I lifted my gaze to meet Ranger's eyes, studying the dark orbs that, if you knew what to look for, said so much more than his lips ever would. I found myself trapped in their hypnotic depths, seeing little that could help me figure out what he was thinking, not that the situation was anything new. I licked my lips again and saw something move behind his eyes; something dark, mysterious, and utterly fascinating.
"Babe. Keep that up and I'll have to punish you." he growled, eyes focused entirely on my mouth.
My hormones began to chant loudly as I envisioned what that punishment might be. I continued to stare at him, albeit a little more warily as I willed his ESP to understand what I was too chicken to say out loud. I'd much rather have another Ranger-induced-orgasm than carry on with this conversation. I was never really very good at the 'talking with the mouths' part, unless the part of the mouth I was using could lick and nip...
Crap! I was such a slut! Here I was, laying in bed with Ranger while deciding to finally end my so-called 'relationship' with Joe without renewal options, and all I could think about was having an orgasm with another man! You know what they call women like that, right? Whores. Oh God, I'm a whore!
"Call yourself a whore again, and I'll make sure that spanking you have yet to receive is nothing pleasant."*Ranger ground out between clenched teeth. Shit!
"Um…I said that out loud, didn't I?" I squeaked out, mentally thunking my head against the wall. I really needed to stop doing that!
One look at Ranger's face was answer enough for me. He never did like it when he heard the uncomplimentary names I'd been tagged with by the more vocal residents of the 'burg, nor the less than laudatory comments about my abilities as a bounty hunter and a proper woman; my mother heading the top of that rather extended list. It angered him even more to hear me repeat them. Sigh.
"Ranger, I know I don't want to do the back and forth thing with Joe anymore. I'm tired of the ridicule and the fights, and even more, I'm tired of feeling like a failure, and although I know he doesn't mean to, that's how he makes me feel." I paused for a moment, trying to marshal my thoughts before blurting out the jumble that currently raced willy-nilly around in my head.
"My mom wants me to marry and have children; specifically she wants me to marry Joe because he's 'burg, and then I'll be stuck following in her footsteps as a housewife and mother. Quite honestly, the thought of getting married anytime in the near future gives me hives, and as far as having children…" I shivered as I envisioned the drudgery of the whole dirty diaper/cooking/crying baby thing that would be my future if I caved.
"Look, Ranger - I'm not looking to get married, I'm not sure I'll ever want kids, and I can't stay with a man who doesn't support me in my choices or grounds me when all my life I've just wanted to fly." I took a deep breath. "I need someone who's supportive and who loves me for who I am, not what they want me to be. I know you aren't interested in a relationship with me, but I can't do the 'fuck buddy' thing with you." I held up my hand when it looked like he was going to speak, asking him with my eyes to hear me out. At his nod I continued.
"I know your life 'doesn't lend itself to relationships'– I get that, I really do. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this can't happen again…ever. I can't," my voice cracked just a little as I noted the still look on his face. "I can't have casual sex with you and then just blow it off. I'm already…" As I spoke, my eyes widened when certain realizations made themselves clear to me; I had almost blurted out what I was only beginning to understand myself. I was falling in love with Ranger, and like he had once alluded, that wouldn't be a good idea for either of us. I closed my eyes to keep the threatening tears from welling up and spilling out. This wasn't supposed to be happening to me.
Ranger was my mentor, an opportunistic mercenary who didn't want or do commitments or ties. He lived life by his own rules, and someone like me wasn't included in those rules. He preferred a more transient lifestyle, with no responsibilities beyond those to himself and his business. A relationship would only complicate things, and Ranger didn't like complications.
I on the other hand, was bound by a set of rules I had no say in the making of, and couldn't seem to break free from no matter what I tried. No use wishing that I could have the one person in the world who'd shown me over and over that he was the one man who accepted and supported me in everything I did. Joe didn't, and I'd much rather be alone than live with a man who couldn't love me for myself. I knew Ranger loved me, but I also knew he didn't love me the way I loved him; with everything I was. I'm pretty sure the love he feels for me is much less romantic.
"Stephanie." His voice was low and emotionless; giving me no hint of what he was thinking or feeling. But then he was a master at concealing his thoughts and emotions, a trait I envied even more now that I'd had my epiphany.
Without warning his hand gripped my chin and raised my face for him to scrutinize, his eyes intensely black in an otherwise blank face. The look on his face was inscrutable as he searched my eyes, seeing everything I was trying so hard to hide. It didn't seem fair that he could see and know everything, whereas I had no clue, no possible way of understanding this man.
Suddenly something in the air changed, and I watched as Ranger's customary blank expression was gradually replaced. His eyes softened, becoming warm and filled with an emotion I'd never seen before. I tried not to get my hopes up even though a little voice in my head was screaming at me that he was telling me what I was desperate to hear.
"Stephanie."
His voice was low and steady, the tone making me shiver as my eyes widened at the use of my full name again. That was twice he'd used it in a matter of minutes, and I started to get scared. I so seldom heard him use it unless he was absolutely serious or really pissed off. In this case I was hoping it wasn't the latter.
"I need you to listen very closely to what I'm about to say to you. No interruptions." He waited patiently as I took in what he was asking.
He wasn't fooling around, I could see that. I nodded my head in agreement. Ranger didn't usually say much, but when he did, you listened.
"Contrary to what you might want to believe, and what I've led you to believe, these past few hours haven't been about getting you into bed or scratching an itch. I admit at first that it was the initial reason I proposed the deal." He touched a finger to my lips to silence me when he saw that I going to respond, and not very happily.
"I made that remark about relationships because I was fighting my feelings, and I also wanted to see your reaction. I'm sorry; it was a shitty thing to do." He brushed a tear from my cheek almost as soon as it leaked from my eye. "I also realize that no matter how much I try to deny it, we're already in a relationship; albeit a very confused one. That's mostly my fault too."
Again he stopped me from responding, seeing as how I was just a tad pissed about the 'mostly his fault' remark and was revving up to give him Hell.
"I say mostly because you haven't exactly been clear about your own feelings towards me. You've always gone back to Morelli after a time out, even when I've pressed you. You might say I've been a little gun shy." He paused for a moment, fingering a loose tendril of my hair and watching it curl itself around his finger, much like we'd done with each other half the night.
Then his words sunk in. Crappity crap crap! He was right. I had no business getting mad at him for doing exactly what I'd been doing. If I was honest with myself, I was responsible for a lot more of the obstacles than he was holding me accountable for. I was the one who didn't object when he 'poached', and when Joe and I were off, I kept Ranger at arm's length just long enough to get back with Joe; ergo, I never let him or myself explore the possibilities. I mentally smacked myself in the head, then focused on Ranger when he continued to speak.
"I proposed this so-called 'deal' because I couldn't watch you go back to him again without knowing if I was just a distraction for you while you cooled off, or if I might really have a chance with you. I'd already decided to stop fighting my attraction for you-" He continued to play with my hair as he spoke, keeping his gaze riveted to my face to observe my reaction to his comments. "And forcing you to deal with me as a man instead of a convenience or a super hero was something I thought I deserved."
To say I was shocked would be putting it mildly. I was also feeling more than just a little disappointed in my own behavior towards this man. He's always come to my rescue when I've called for help, even going so far as to lend me cars that were blown up even before I got a chance to put any gas in the tank. He's never lectured me when I've landed myself in situations that would've turned out badly for me if he hadn't been there to save me, and he's always told me how proud he was of me.
Truth be told, I was a shitty friend to a man who's been the best person I've ever met. Sad to say, but even Mary Lou, my best friend since before I could talk, couldn't hold a candle to the sacrifices and expense Ranger's put forth on my behalf. It was high time for me to let him know that. He deserved that too.
"Ranger, I…" My voice was terribly raspy, so I cleared my throat in hopes I could get this all out before I lost it completely. Shame was chasing away all those warm wonderful feelings we'd spent all night creating, and I wondered what I could say or do to pay penance. He deserved so much better than me.
I took a deep breath. "I owe you so much more than just an apology." I sniffled. This was going to be harder than I thought. "You're right, though. I haven't been a very good friend to you, and I've sucked as a human being. I don't deserve you as a friend, and even less as someone for you to bleed money over. I'm so sorry." By the time I'd finished, my voice was scratchy and hoarse, I had tears streaming down my face and I was shaking with suppressed sobs.
I stopped sniffling when I heard a frustrated sound above me and looked up to see Ranger's face portraying an expression I'd never seen on him before. Through my blurry vision I hazily registered the frown lines present between his eyes, but my brain didn't make the connection. I was too miserable to think of anything but how much of a disappointment to him I was. He's always told me I never disappointed him, which I could only take to mean that he sure doesn't expect much.
"Babe, I'm not saying all this to make you feel worse. I just need to know how you really feel; about me, Morelli, your life." His gaze intensified, boring into mine as if he were trying to see my soul. Then he asked me the million dollar question. The one that I'd pushed back onto my mental shelf until I could take it out in private and analyze it. "What did last night mean to you?" I gulped.
He was looking down at me, his hand moving to cup my face instead of just holding my chin so I would look at him. He stared straight into my eyes and I don't think I could have looked away if I'd tried. For the second time I saw something in them that had me speechless. It was the warmth I'd seen before; mingled with pride and that something else I couldn't put a name to. It was fascinating. It also gave me the courage to answer his question.
"Last night was the first time in my entire life that I've felt really loved by a man. Not Dickie or even Joe has ever made me feel as cherished and special." I gulped again, watching as his eyes turned dark with passion. As much as I wanted to stop talking and take advantage of the moment, I felt I owed it to him to finish my answer. After all, he's already admitted he feels more for me than he wanted to.
"I'm not really good at this talking-about-feelings stuff, so I'm just going to blurt it out." I braced myself. "Ranger, I think I'm falling in love with you." I squeezed my eyes shut and waited, my heart pounding so loudly that the Philadelphia Philharmonic Orchestra probably couldn't be heard above its racing beat.
Ranger didn't make a sound; his response was to feather kisses all over my face. My forehead, cheeks, nose and finally my lips were all graced with his light touch until my mouth was claimed hungrily.
Holy Hotcakes! I thought his kisses before were mind-boggling, but they were pecks compared to this one! He seemed to reach deep inside me, touching my soul as he roamed his hands all over my body, my skin heating with every whisper of a touch. There was a whole new level of tenderness and passion in both his hands and his mouth, even though I was sure we'd reached the pinnacle last night and this morning.
It hit me like a bolt of lightning that this was what it was like to make love; sure, we'd touched each other with endless bouts of intimate gestures and had earth-shattering sex, but now the caresses and kisses were reaching new heights, blowing my mind at the sheer unadulterated glory of togetherness I felt with him. I felt like I finally belonged, and it was exhilarating.
When we finally came up for air, I was swimming in feeling, touched by the nuances of pure love I felt when I looked into his eyes. Gone were any vestiges of the blank face that Ranger usually affected around me. Instead I was gifted with an expression that made me catch my breath in wonder; he loved me – he really loved me!
"Yeah Babe, I love you. I've been in love with you since that day in the diner, and it's only deepened and grown richer with time." He reached up with his thumb and brushed away the tears that I hadn't been aware were again leaking from my eyes, placing delicate kisses along their paths. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words from your lips, and see what I feel for you reflected in your eyes."
A fresh burst of tears began to spill down my face, joy lightening my mood at the thought that I was finally going to get what I yearned for. What I thought I'd never be able to have. Unconditional love. It was a heady feeling, and one I was afraid to rely on too much at the moment. After all, it was only a few days before that he'd told me he didn't do relationships. How could he have changed his outlook in so short of time?
"So, does this mean that even though neither of us wants marriage, at least right now, we're at least committed to each other?" He must have seen the uncertainty in my eyes as well as my voice, because he smiled and brushed the wetness from my tears away, dropping a light kiss on my lips.
"Yeah Babe, and it also means I want you to live with me. I want to wake up to you every morning, and fall asleep with you in my arms every night." He bent his head and ran his tongue along the outer shell of my ear. "I need to know you're safe, and this apartment of yours is about as secure as Grand Central Station. I don't want to worry that someone I've pissed off in my past will track you down here and take you away from me."
I laid there trying to think, which was extremely difficult while his lips and tongue were playing with my ear, not to mention his hands which had decided to start a party all their own.
When Joe had asked me to move in with him, I'd always felt a sense of foreboding, like I knew we weren't going to work out. It was the reason I'd always insisted on keeping the lease to my apartment. Now, all I felt was excitement and hope, as well as a sense of peace that transcended all thought and worry. I turned my head to look into his eyes, seeing a wariness there that I hadn't expected. Was he actually worried I'd refuse to live with him?
I smiled, raising my hand to caress his cheek. "When do I move in?"
End
*Quote from a challenge on BS that I obviously missed! *grin*