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Letters from Buffy

Chapter 1: Dawn

Dawn walked into her house for the first time since Buffy's death a month ago. She had been staying with the others since that morning. First she stayed with Giles, but she knew that her presence in his apartment was only making it harder for him to get over the loss of Buffy. So Dawn had moved in with Xander. She had stayed with him for a week and a half, until it became apparently clear that Anya was tired of having her around. It's not that Anya doesn't like Dawn, she just wanted to be able to celebrate her engagement without a kid around. After assuring Xander that she would be okay, Dawn went to spend a week with Willow and Tara in the dorm. She eventually left here because having the constant reminder of Buffy around was too hard for Willow. For the rest of the month Dawn stayed with Spike in his crypt. This was where she felt the most alone. Spike slept all day and spent all night out patrolling, leaving Dawn to amuse herself. He always waited until he was sure she was asleep before coming back. So finally Dawn assured everyone that she would be okay in her own house and after promising that they could come check up on her whenever they wanted, Dawn went home.

She wasn't sure what she expected to feel when she entered the house, but she wasn't ready for the overwhelming sense of loss. This wasn't her house...it was Buffy's house. Buffy was real....Dawn was just a key. She didn't belong here anymore. She should have died, not Buffy. Dawn still couldn't believe how Buffy had unselfishly ended her own life to save Dawn's. Anyone else would have let Dawn jump to close the portal. Unable to fight the tears any longer, Dawn sank to her knees and buried her face in her hands. The fact that her father hadn't come for her was just another reminder that she wasn't real. It was like he knew that all of his memories were fake and he was punishing Dawn for showing up in his life and killing his only daughter.

After what seemed like hours, but was really only a few minutes, Dawn got back on her feet and walked upstairs to Buffy's room. She stood in the doorway and looked around the room. There on the bed were the

clothes Buffy had changed out of that last night, along with some discarded weapons she had opted not to bring with her to fight Glory. Dawn didn't know what she was looking for, but she knew there was something there for her to find. That's when she saw the piece of paper on the desk. She walked over and picked up the paper, not sure if it was something that she wanted to read. She wasn't even the slightest bit surprised when she saw that it was a letter addressed to herself. It was written in Buffy's handwriting and dated the day before she died. Dawn went and sat down on Buffy's bed to read the letter.

May 21, 2001

Dear Dawn,

I am writing you this letter because tomorrow the scoobies and I are going to fight Glory and I don't know if we will all survive. Don't be angry with me for saying this, but if anyone has to die during the fight I hope it will be me. I don't think I could live with myself if any more of my friends had to die while I was still alive and well. If you are reading this letter than I have indeed died while trying to save you from Glory. That is the one thing I do know for sure. You are not going to die. What right do I have to live and continue my life as the Slayer if I can't even save my little sister? All of the super strength in the world wouldn't help me if I ever lost you. Please don't ever think that I didn't love you. You were my sister, key or no key…you will always be my sister. We shared the same blood. Summer's blood, remember? You might not have really always been in my life, but in my memories you have always been there, and that can't be taken away from me. I need you to do something for me Dawn. In the top drawer of my nightstand you will find envelopes addressed to all of my friends. Please make sure they all get them. I need them to understand why my life ended when it did. They need to understand that I am glad that I died and not them. Please take care of them Dawn. I know that it will be hard at first, but don't ever give up. Don't ever let them give up. They need you, now more than ever. I have to prepare for my battle with Glory now. Please don't be sad. I love you.

Buffy