This has been done so many times before. Yeah, I know. Is it going to be cliché and predictable? I hope not, but I leave no promises, people (promising start…). Are you going to end up with the failed Dramione writers? Geez, have a little faith in me, okay? Give me a chance, and then if it sucks flame me all you want. You don't own, do you? No. No, I don't. Duh.

Chapter One: Swearing Exceptions

Hermione Granger could finally whole-heartedly agree with her best friend Ron Weasley: Dumbledore had finally gone crazy and tried to indirectly kill them all. Voldemort was going to be furious when he realized everyone was dead already and he hadn't been the one to do it.

"It was just a small fight!" Ron complained to Harry. "This whole punishment thing is ruining my appetite."

"Ronald, you've eaten twenty pastries. Close your mouth; you eat like a pig."

"Shove off, Hermione." Ron grabbed another plate of apple pie and began to shove piece after piece into his mouth, spewing food everywhere as he spoke.

"Oh!" Hermione huffed, affronted. "Forgive me if I'm just trying to help the rest of us maintain our appetites."

Harry shrugged and helped himself to a slice of cake. "Knock it off, you two. Besides, Hermione…" he cast her an apologetic glance-" I don't think anyone really cares."

"'eah!" Ron chimed in, swallowing. Across from him, Ginny stared at him, repulsed.

"I care. It's bad enough dealing with this at home, Ron. Honestly, Hermione, I don't know what you see in my pinpricked brother." Ginny slid her plate over next to Harry and went to sit next to him, out of Ron's food-spraying range.

"I don't like him!" Hermione exclaimed, blushing. "Ron is my best friend, that's all!" She stood up. "I'm going to the common room."

NOTTDEADYETWRITESABREAKLINE

This potion must be made with extreme caution. If, for instance, an extra millimeter of Basilisk Venom is added, the potion will bubble and spurt towards the brewer.

Hermione chewed her lip and tried to concentrate on her textbook. I should be careful with the Basilisk Venom then-I wonder what our punishment will be? I can't believe the entire school's being punished.

The brawl had been a big one, outside. Nobody had any idea who started it, but before people knew it, at least two people from each house had started hexing each other. Prefects tried to settle everything calmly and ended up snapping, joining the fight. Friends rushed to friends' defenses, and pretty soon, students from every year had begun to fight.

Hermione had been in it. She wasn't proud of adding to the fight, but when she blocked a hex heading for Harry, it had dragged her in the whole thing.

Focus. If I add less than a millimeter, perhaps the venom will-

"Shh!" There was a hush as Professor Mcgonagall stepped through the portrait. Then, as if a bomb had exploded, everyone started talking at once.

"Professor, it wasn't our fault-"

"-it's all the Slytherins' fault-"

"-the Ravenclaws started it-"

"-I was only trying to-"

"Silence!" Professor Mcgonagall held up her hand. "Prefects, I need you to gather the rest of the Gryffindors into the common room." She said quietly. "Now."

The prefects hurried to the dorms. Hermione counted the number of Gryffindors and found that they were all present.

"Now," Professor Mcgonagall began. "I am very disappointed in all of you." She cast her gaze across the room, meeting everyone's gaze until everyone looked guilty. "I would have expected more of you all. Prefects, I am extremely upset with you."

Hermione swallowed. She should have known, but then Malfoy had gone and tried to hex her and she'd snapped. She'd tried to only stun and body-bind, she'd tried so hard, but-it was all Malfoy's fault!

"As for your punishments, Professor Dumbledore has agreed not to take away your prefect duties." Hermione let out a sigh of relief. "Instead, the entire student body of Hogwarts will have the same punishment. Each student will be paired with another student from a different house, and complete an assignment. This assignment WILL be graded and will be considered half your grade for the year."

"Half your-" Hermione gasped. The Gryffindors began complaining rather loudly.

"Quiet!" Professor Mcgonagall snapped. Hermione pulled herself up and raised her hand.

"But, Professor, surely the Ministry would object? Is this legal?" Students cast hopeful glances across the room.

Professor Mcgonagall shook her head, tight-lipped. "Quite the contrary, Miss Granger. They have agreed that the house rivalry has really gone on for too long and could potentially cause harm to students. I would hope you think more of the headmaster than to imply he would do something illegal, Miss Granger?" Hermione flushed and shook her head quickly.

"Gryffindors will be paired with Slytherins." Professor Mcgonagall spoke quickly so nobody could interrupt, conjuring a parchment. "I will start with the first years. The pairings have been given careful thought. Lacey Arden and James Shin."

Lacey, a delicate-looking blonde, gasped. Her friends around her groaned sympathetically. "But, Professor, I hate him!"

Professor Mcgonagall nodded. "I am aware, Miss Arden. You do not hide it." She continued with the list. Hermione watched Lacey mutter furiously and kick the ground, surprised by the anger..

Straining her ears as the hushed complaints got louder, Harry slid over to Hermione. "I hope I don't get Malfoy." Hermione mm-hmed in agreement, half-listening.

Slowly, almost too slowly for Hermione, the first years were all paired up, then the second years, then the third years, then…the…..….fourth…years. Hermione straightened and smacked Ron on the arm. "She's naming the fifth years!" she hissed. "stop talking!"

The fifth years fell silent and listened with bated breath. Everyone had their fingers crossed, hoping they wouldn't get who-knows-who. It was every Gryffindor for themselves. Hermione thought they were being a bit dramatic. There was such a small chance of being picked with your enemy.

And so it began.

Some of the Gryffindors swore under their breaths, and some sighed in the relief, exchanging it-could-have-been-worse glances.

"Ronald Weasley and Daphne Greengrass." Ron groaned and swore, faltering slightly at the glare he received from Mcgonagall.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Ronald, do you even know her?"

"Any Slytherin's a greasy, disgusting Slytherin!" Ron declared with conviction. Hermione shook her head and turned her attention back to Professor Mcgonagall.

Harry swallowed. "What if I get Malfoy?!"

"Oh, for heaven's-" Hermione huffed and turned to Harry. "Harry, there are so many other fifth years! What are the chances that you'll get Malfoy?"

"Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy!"

Hermione Granger did not swear.

Hermione Granger did not use any type of foul language.

Hermione Granger did not say-ohscrewthisTHISISMALFOYHERMIONE-

Bloody hell.