Zero Hour
By: Olivia
"I'll remember you when I've forgotten all the rest, you to me were true, you to me were the best. When I'm gone in the great unknown, I'll remember you."-Bob Dylan
"Do not go gently into that good night...Rage, rage, against the dying of the light."-Dylan Thomas-"Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night"
You take yourself for granted sometimes. I know I had.
I realized it when I was standing there in front of my Father's grave with Peggy and Miranda. I had been so focused on myself and my own mortality that I forgot the people I care about the most. Just like my Father had done.
Peggy was right. I was blindly following in my Father's footsteps. He became so focused on himself, so focused on ignoring his own tumor, that he had forgotten his family. He forgot that they loved him and needed him to fight his illness. Instead, he gave up and let the tumor win without a fight. He wasted away just as I had almost done.
I forgot that none of us lives in a vacuum. We affect people. I forgot about Miranda and Peggy. I had forgotten that I mean as much to them as they to me. I hadn't stopped to think how my death, my absence would affect them. I had been unknowingly selfish and taken on a burden that they would have gladly shared with me.
I realized it all standing there. Peggy saw through me. She knew what was best for me. She fought for me, for my life. She wouldn't let me give up because she couldn't. She cares about me too much.
And then there was Miranda. I was half way there, half convinced to have the surgery. But I still stubbornly clung to my fear, my denial, right up until Miranda started sobbing uncontrollably. Miranda is always so subdued, so calm, and to see her like that and to realize that I was the one causing her so much pain, that she loved me that much, literally blew me away. When she said, "Please, Declan" it was like I was shot through the heart. I wrapped her in my arms and told her I was going to the hospital, that I was going to have the surgery. I would have said or done anything for Miranda and Peggy-anything. I loved them as much as they loved me.
I look at them as the drugs begin to take affect. The doctors are about to wheel me in for my surgery. I'm so tired now. Miranda and Peggy's faces are the last things I see before I close my eyes. If I have to go, if I die on that operating table, at least their faces are the last things I've seen. I'll carry the memory of their faces with me. Their love gives me the strength I need to be here right now. And I wonder what I've done to deserve to have these two incredible people in my life.
By: Olivia
"I'll remember you when I've forgotten all the rest, you to me were true, you to me were the best. When I'm gone in the great unknown, I'll remember you."-Bob Dylan
"Do not go gently into that good night...Rage, rage, against the dying of the light."-Dylan Thomas-"Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night"
You take yourself for granted sometimes. I know I had.
I realized it when I was standing there in front of my Father's grave with Peggy and Miranda. I had been so focused on myself and my own mortality that I forgot the people I care about the most. Just like my Father had done.
Peggy was right. I was blindly following in my Father's footsteps. He became so focused on himself, so focused on ignoring his own tumor, that he had forgotten his family. He forgot that they loved him and needed him to fight his illness. Instead, he gave up and let the tumor win without a fight. He wasted away just as I had almost done.
I forgot that none of us lives in a vacuum. We affect people. I forgot about Miranda and Peggy. I had forgotten that I mean as much to them as they to me. I hadn't stopped to think how my death, my absence would affect them. I had been unknowingly selfish and taken on a burden that they would have gladly shared with me.
I realized it all standing there. Peggy saw through me. She knew what was best for me. She fought for me, for my life. She wouldn't let me give up because she couldn't. She cares about me too much.
And then there was Miranda. I was half way there, half convinced to have the surgery. But I still stubbornly clung to my fear, my denial, right up until Miranda started sobbing uncontrollably. Miranda is always so subdued, so calm, and to see her like that and to realize that I was the one causing her so much pain, that she loved me that much, literally blew me away. When she said, "Please, Declan" it was like I was shot through the heart. I wrapped her in my arms and told her I was going to the hospital, that I was going to have the surgery. I would have said or done anything for Miranda and Peggy-anything. I loved them as much as they loved me.
I look at them as the drugs begin to take affect. The doctors are about to wheel me in for my surgery. I'm so tired now. Miranda and Peggy's faces are the last things I see before I close my eyes. If I have to go, if I die on that operating table, at least their faces are the last things I've seen. I'll carry the memory of their faces with me. Their love gives me the strength I need to be here right now. And I wonder what I've done to deserve to have these two incredible people in my life.