Just a Moment
Trigger Warning: one shot addresses child loss and infertility issues
Satine came into the bedchamber when he was tugging off his boots. She was silent, not paying him any mind while sitting at the vanity. There was an air about her, one that told him not to ask anything of her.
"The lecture in the Mandalorian Heritage museum went well," he murmured, leaning his elbows on his knees. He listened to the clink of jewelry being placed on various hooks. "Cody and Fives went with me. They spoke about the dangers of untreated PTSD."
"That sounds interesting. I'll have to see watch the footage." The vanity stool skidded on the floor when Satine - now free of headdress, makeup, and jewelry - stood and made her way to the wardrobe.
"It was. Fives has become quite the public speaker." Obi-Wan glanced outside, where rain had begun to fall. "I would hardly be surprised if he becomes the next representative of Kamino."
"Mmm."
Obi-Wan pressed his lips together, hearing the hangars screech against the rod while Satine put away her formal robes and came to where he was sitting. He didn't acknowledge her immediately, staring out the window and watching the raindrops hit the window.
"It's beautiful out," she whispered, like she didn't wish to break the silence.
He nodded, finally looking at her. "Aren't you cold in that shift?"
Satine put her hands on his shoulders when he went to tug her into his lap, making eye-contact for the first time that night. "Ben."
Obi-Wan frowned at the hesitancy in her voice, and settled his hands at her hips. "Hmm?"
"I have been doing some thinking."
"Oh?" He tried to keep the worry off of his face, and make light of the seriousness of the situation. "That's never a good thing."
She glanced away, towards the window and the rain. "Why do I even bother?"
"My dear." He squeezed her hips in a silent request to make eye contact. "What has been on your mind?"
She didn't respond.
Obi-Wan sighed, leaning his head against her stomach. He closed his eyes at the sensation of her nails against his neck.
When Satine finally spoke, it was in a whisper. "Can we not use contraceptives tonight? Or...for awhile?
He glanced up at her in shock, witnessing the tears in her eyes and the watery smile.
"Are you sure, my dear? I don't want my desires to-"
"Ben," Satine ran a hand through his hair, "Your desires became mine quite a long time ago."
Satine didn't protest to being pulled into his lap this time, pressing her lips to his in kiss nearly chaste.
"Force, you are amazing."
"I'm not even pregnant yet."
He peered at her, a grin working over his face.
"Ben - Ben!" Satine laughed when he twisted about unceremoniously, her back pressing against the mattress while he kissed every bit of exposed skin - which was, admittedly, quite a lot.
"That can change," he muttered in a daze, leaning their brows together and staring into her eyes. "That can most definitely change."
"Master Kenobi? Are you paying attention?"
Obi-Wan blinked, like he realized the Jedi High Council were staring at him. He cleared his throat, and propped one ankle on his knee. "A thousand pardons, Master Windu. My mind must have wandered."
Yoda cocked his head, studying Obi-Wan carefully. He glanced to Master Windu beside him, and nodded.
"We wish to speak to you when the meeting is over, Master Kenobi." Mace glanced to Anakin, who looked intrigued. "Alone."
Anakin rolled his eyes, looking over to Quinlan Vos, who merely shrugged. Those two on the Council...brilliant, because they were so opinionated, but so frustrating sometimes.
Like when they wanted to gossip with the rest of the Council.
Obi-Wan readjusted his position in the hard seat and gave a mild shrug. "I really don't see why that's necessary, Masters. Personal problems, you see. Not exactly for the ears of the Jedi Council."
Fuck. He'd said too much, given the intrigued look on some of his coworkers faces. Trying to rapidly backtrack, he let out an exasperated sigh. "Senator Kryze and I are fine - no need to spread gossip when there isn't any."
"You two were found in a half-full supply closet last -"
Obi-Wan felt his face grow warm while the Council around him chuckled. "I really do not understand why this conversation about Kamino turned into one about myself."
Mace cleared his throat, refusing to look at his snorting former padawan - he'd laugh otherwise. "Very well, Kenobi - we'll leave you be."
"Thank you," Obi-Wan breathed, shoulders relaxing. But just for a moment, his smile faltered, and sadness seemed to slip through the cracks.
But just for a moment.
"I'm pregnant."
Having just stepped out of the 'fresher, Obi-Wan froze, staring at his wife and trying to digest the words she had just spoken. He had heard the words, had definitely heard her say them. He could most definitely study her expression, the way she was standing rigid near her side of the bed, only half of the bed sheets turned down for the night.
Obi-Wan scratched at his beard, wondering - well no, not really wondering - why he felt he should start to hyperventilate. "Pregnant?"
She nodded, trying to smile. "I found out this morning."
Giving a shaky laugh, Obi-Wan crossed the bedchamber and pulled her stiff body into an embrace. She didn't relax for a long time, and finally tucking her head into the crook of his neck and letting out a shuddering breath.
"I didn't think it would work," she mumbled, sounding close to tears. "Obi, what if it -"
"Have faith, my dear." Obi-Wan didn't fail to hear the crack in his voice, and pressed a kiss to her temple. Four years of overly sympathetic doctors, false positives, arguments that only ended in tears, more than a few heartbreaks, and finally two rounds of IVF had led them to this moment.
He couldn't be more terrified. Even the end of the war - Maul nearly murdering Satine, Ahsoka being tried for murder, Anakin killing Palpatine, himself ending Grievous, discovering the inhibitor chips in the clones - it all seemed like a daydream.
Satine nodded, her fists clenching at his tunics, tears staining her face. She gave a start when he suddenly pulled away - wait, no knelt - and then bit her lip, watching him grasp her hips and press his lips to her shift-clad stomach. It was risky to be so attached at the beginning, but Obi-Wan...well, he was horrible at admitting he wasn't attached.
"I love you," Obi-Wan whispered. She wasn't sure whom he was speaking to.
"We should name her Jinn."
Her husband was quick to glance up from fiddling with his lightsaber. "Jinn? After Master Qui-Gon?"
"Mm hmm." Satine sat on the opposite sofa, putting a tray filled with a pot of tea, cups, and sandwiches. "It'd be a nice way to honor his memory."
"It's pretty." Obi-Wan set down the parts he'd been working on and accepted the cup of sapnir tea. It took him a moment to realize -
His eyes went wide mid-drink, and he coughed for a moment before speaking hoarsely. "You said 'her?' We're...we're having a girl?"
Satine smiled, sipping at her tea. "What do you think, Ben? - are you crying?"
"Dad - eww."
Obi-Wan chuckled, opening his eyes a crack to look at his wife he had greeted rather enthusiastically only moments before. She was looking back, raising her eyebrows a bit. "I love you beautiful," he murmured, pressing a kiss to his wife's brow.
"So you've expressed," Satine whispered, titling her chin and kissing his jaw lightly.
"Mama, Dad!" Jinn groaned dramatically, putting her head on the dining room table. "You two are disgusting."
"What could possibly be wrong, Jinn?" Obi-Wan leaned against the counter when his wife slipped out of his embrace to check the vegetables simmering in the skillet. "We love each other."
Jinn - all frizzy ginger hair and freckles - glanced up and wrinkled her nose. At six years old, she hadn't quite grasped the concept her parents were actual people. "Kissing is gross."
"Aunt Padme kisses Uncle Anakin all the time," Satine murmured, stirring the vegetables. "Babe, can you find the pepper for me?"
"Sure - kissing is perfectly healthy, daughter mine." Obi-Wan dug around in the spice cabinet, smirking at his daughter's huff.
"It's gross."
"It's how people show affection."
"People can hug too!"
Satine snickered at the argument brewing, turning to her husband when he presented her with the desired spice. "I agree with Jinn - it is kind of disgusting."
"Hey! I thought you were on my side!"
Satine glanced over at her daughter, barely suppressing a laugh. "Ben - Ben, look."
Obi-Wan - half-distracted by the holo playing - took a moment to glance down. When he finally did, his face split into a wide grin, watching their daughter wedged between them sleep soundly. "Even when she negotiates to stay awake she falls asleep."
She shook her head, fingers gently brushing through their daughter's hair, feeling the comforting weight of against her side. "Can't blame her - must be tiring, learning all about the Force during the day at the Temple."
"Mmm." Obi-Wan glanced at his wife, watching her soft features while she crooned over their daughter. The light of the holo splashed on her face, highlighting the beginnings of wrinkles around her eyes and the gray that was beginning to streak through her hair. "Hey."
"What?"
"I love you."
Satine quirked an eyebrow, then gave a small smile and leaned her elbow on the couch, careful of not jostling their daughter. "You should put her to bed."
"Why do I need to put her to bed?"
"I cooked dinner. And I had a long day at the Senate."
"Oh I see how it is."
Satine rolled her eyes affectionately, watching him grin and stand gingerly before scooping their daughter into his arms. It had been a battle, yes to get where they were now but the years of shaky peace had been more than worth it. Closing her eyes, she listened to his fading footsteps a moment before heading their own bedroom.
She had turned the lamp her nightstand off when hands settled on her hips, causing her to jump in surprise.
"Aren't you cold in that shift?" Obi-Wan murmured, nuzzling her neck and pressing small kisses on to her skin.
"Jinn asleep?"
"Mmm hmm." Obi-Wan smiled when she spun about, kissing her wrist when she looped her arms around her neck.
"You know what?" She could feel the backs of her knees pressing into the mattress.
"Hmm?"
"We should do some of that gross kiss - Ben!" Satine was laughing when he nudged them onto the bed, kissing every inch of skin he could get to.
Author's note: so how many more times will I update today? I have no idea xD
I found this fic in the depths of my Google docs, and it was completed? Like...okay then. I mean, I remember posting a scene of it awhile ago on Tumblr, but I don't remember completing it. Oh well. Let me know what you think :)
ii Digestive Reader ii