Hey everybody! I know, I know. It's been months (I think it's actually been a year) since I wrote a SWAC story and put it on here. High school got really busy really fast... But anyway, here I am! This story was half written and sitting on my computer for ages. And for some reason now in the middle of summer at one in the morning, I finished it. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Oh, yeah. I own Sonny With a Chance. Holy crap, my pants just went up in flames. (get it, eh? Liar liar pants on fire...)

Super Monster Double Trouble Burger

It was possibly the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. A double deck burger with extra pickles, bacon, and three types of cheeses, it was almost as if Nico had shelled out four dollars to buy his own slice of heaven. A food like this could not just be eaten; it had to be savored with great detail. Before he could even take the slightest bite of the burger, he had to look at it simply to bask in its wondrous glory.

Then, once he'd had his fill of beauty in its purest form, he carefully lifted the burger off of its paper wrappings, making sure not to let any of its sauce drip off. As the burger approached his watering mouth, he imagined the taste of the burger meeting his taste buds in perfect harmony. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as the masterpiece grew closer. Closer, closer, closer, just inches away now.

"Your costar is the most heinous human being I have ever met!"

The sound of the door slamming mixed tragically with the sound of Nico's desperate cry as his little slice of heaven fell disastrously to the ground. In a dramatic sort of splat, the burger's contents seemed to explode onto the white carpet. For a while, Nico could do nothing but stare at the messy array of burger contents spread all over his floor. Finally, he pulled his gaze from the heartbreaking sight and to the doorway, where his weekly guest was pacing angrily in front of the closed door.

"Chad?" He choked out in grief. The arrogant actor quickly looked up, only to dart his gaze back to his hands, which seemed to be clasped together so tightly that they were turning red.

"Listen, Nolan. I won't be long. It's just that she's out there and I can't deal with her for another second. Once she leaves, I'll be out of your hair." Chad assured him, his eyes darting to the door every few moments as if he expected it to spontaneously burst into flames.

"Okay, first, the name's Nico. Second, I'm going to assume that 'she' is Sonny, and that you two have gotten into yet another fight. Third, my hair is about a millimeter short, so it'd be pretty hard to be in my hair in the first place. Fourth, and most importantly, you owe me a Supreme Monster Double Trouble Burger from the Burger Barn." Nico replied, demanding compensation for his loss of a meal. There was no way he was going to allow one of Sonny and Chad's arguments to deprive him of the best burger experience of his life.

"Yeah, it is Sonny. God, she's so horrible. How can you deal with her every day? She's horrible." Chad huffed, sitting himself down on Nico's couch.

Nico had to roll his eyes at this comment. Of course Sonny wasn't horrible. In fact, she was one of the most enjoyable people he had ever met in his whole life. The only reason Chad spoke so poorly of her was because the two hated each other with a fiery passion, yet were at the same time sickeningly in love with each other. But because they came from rival shows and refused to admit their feelings, they fought nonstop to cover them up.

"What'd you two get in a fight about now?" Nico asked monotonously, preparing himself for yet another one of the long speeches he often had to sit through.

"She's angry that I called her dumb show 'unimpressive.' I don't see why, since I was only telling the truth. And then she went on to claim that Mackenzie Falls was the most unrealistic and melodramatic show she's ever seen. God, she is such a terrible person." He huffed, seemingly unaware that the dumb show he was speaking of was the same dumb show Nico was cast in.

"Okay, normally I would defend my show, then go on to attempt to solve this argument, but not today, Chip Dramapants." Nico sighed. This wasn't the first time Chad had stormed into his dressing room after an argument with Sonny, nor was it the first delicious food item that had gone to waste from it. However, the tragic mess of a burger on his carpet could not be forgotten.

"Whatever, Nick. I just need to stay here until Sonny is gone." Chad demanded, sitting himself down on Nico's couch as if he was at home.

"Listen, Chad. You come into my dressing room nearly every week complaining about Sonny and hiding yourself in here until she leaves. And every single time, you somehow ruin my snack. I'm not sure if my stomach can take it anymore." Nico said, pointing at his deceased ground beef treasure on the floor.

"I don't think you understand the problem here, Nelson. Sonny is still out there looking for me." Chad explained, sounding slightly worried.

"Yeah, and she won't possibly think of looking for you in the only hiding spot you have." Nico mumbled under his breath. Almost as if on cue, there was a loud banging on the door, causing Chad to jump nearly four feet into the air.

"Chad Dylan Cooper, I know you're in there. And if you don't come out right now, I'll—I'll break down this door!" Sonny screeched. In a flash, Chad was off the couch and hidden away in Nico's changing area.

"Aw, Sonny, not again. I just got the last door replaced." Nico moaned. Chad and Sonny's fights were beginning to cost him a serious amount of money, and as of late an even more serious amount of food. If it didn't end soon, he'd have to get his dressing room insured.

"I'm not exaggerating, Nico. If this door doesn't open in the next ten seconds, I'm getting my battering ram." Sonny warned. Nico knew from experience that she wasn't joking about the battering ram, and that if he didn't act quickly, he could say goodbye to his brand new door. As she began to count down from ten, Nico hurriedly ran over to the door and unlocked it. Within seconds Sonny was in his dressing room, inspecting it for any trace of Chad.

"Where is he?" She asked impatiently, crossing her arms across her chest. With a sigh, Nico gestured towards his changing area. Sonny stormed over and ripped the curtain down, revealing a very nervous looking Chad Dylan Cooper standing awkwardly in front of her.

"Uh, hi."

"Hi? Don't you 'hi' me. This conversation is way past the social niceties." Sonny yelled, placing an intimidating hand on her hip. Nico, knowing where this was going, exasperatedly sat back down in his chair.

"Oh really? Well I'm sorry if I wanted to be polite." Chad shot back, no longer looking as if he felt awkward. Fighting with Sonny was most likely where he felt most comfortable, Nico hypothesized. If it wasn't, Chad wouldn't return to their set every day, just to get in an argument with Sonny and storm out.

"Well, you didn't seem to care all that much about politeness earlier." Sonny accused him.

"Yes, well that was before. Am I not allowed to change my mind?" Chad questioned, taking a step closer to the brunette in front of him.

"No. No, you're not. You can't just change your mind. Do you know how annoying it is when you're a complete jerk to me one second, and then a complete gentleman the next? Can't you just make up your mind?" Sonny yelled, though Nico suspected she was complaining about much more than their current argument.

"No, maybe I can't. Maybe it's too difficult to make up my mind, because I like being both people." Chad retorted. Nico wondered how the two were able to talk about how confused they were about each other so openly. Perhaps they hadn't even realized?

"Oh, really?" Sonny asked, taking a step towards her opponent.

"Really." Chad shot back, also moving a step towards her.

"Good."

Another step.

"Good."

Slightly closer.

"Fine."

Even closer now.

"Fine."

Awkwardly close. The argumentative pair was now only inches apart, and their faces were even closer. Feeling increasingly more uncomfortable as the fight went on, Nico glanced back to his dream of burger, tragically painted on his carpet. He had waited in line for forty-five minutes for the beef beauty, his only motivation the wondrous taste sensation he would feel.

"Good."

"Fine."

"Good."

Nico waited after the last "good" for another comeback, but oddly enough there was none. At first he wondered if one of the dueling duo had stormed out of the room like always, but he immediately ruled it out. Neither would dare to leave without taking a final jab at their opponent. It wasn't until he heard a distinct smacking noise that he caught on to what they might be doing. He held his breath and turned towards the pair of intruders, secretly praying that it wasn't what he thought. He let out a groan.

It was what he thought.

Sonny and Chad were practically glued to each other, locking lips as if they would never get to do it again. Nico quickly looked away, feeling as if he was intruding on a private moment. Then again, it was his dressing room. However, he decided to respect their privacy. He quickly skirted past the kissing couple. He figured that the time it took him to go to the bathroom and get paper towels to clean up the cheeseburger tragedy and return to his dressing room would be enough to finish their current activities.

He made sure to walk slowly to the bathroom, cursing it for only being down the hall. When he left Sonny and Chad, they hadn't even noticed he was leaving. What made him think they would know to wrap it up before he got back? With a sigh, he collected his paper towels and returned to the dressing room. He stopped outside the door and prepared himself for whatever laid inside. When he entered, he felt his stomach drop at what was waiting for him.

Sonny and Chad had moved their love fest from the middle of Nico's dressing room to his couch, where Chad had propped himself on top of Sonny. After all the stress and trauma the pair had put him through, he was sure as hell not going to allow Chad Dylan Cooper to get to second base on top of his precious royal blue couch.

"Oh hell no!" Nico screamed, throwing his paper towels to the ground. At the sound of his yell, Chad jumped in surprise, causing him to rather clumsily fall off of Sonny and onto the carpet. Sonny quickly sat up, turning bright red in the face.

"Nico we…we were just, um…I didn't mean to…we'll just leave right now." Sonny mumbled, helping a shell shocked off of the ground and nearly dragging him to the door.

"No, no, no. You two are going to sit here and listen to what I have to say! For the past two months Chad," Nico accented this accusation by throwing a glare in Chad's direction, "has barged in to my dressing room every day and ruined my mid afternoon snack. And every day, Sonny has followed him in here rather violently, even destroying my door on three separate occasions. Then every damn day you two have one of the stupidest arguments known to mankind and I'm forced to sit here and listen to them.

"Then, today, I decide to treat myself to a Supreme Monster Double Trouble Burger. And just as I'm about to dig in to my succulent snack, Chad Dylan Cooper barges in just like he does every other day. And Sonny follows him just like she does every other day. And my snack gets destroyed. Just. Like. Every. Other. Day. But then, instead of you two having a verbal beat down like normal, you decide to pull a Mack Falls Episode 32 and go at it on my couch! I'm sick of it. And lastly, Chad Dylan Cooper, my name is Nico. Not Nick, not Nolan, and certainly not Neapolitan!" Nico screamed, glad to get the frustration out of his system.

Sonny and Chad were quiet for an entire minute. Even though they're silent, Nico could tell something had changed between the two. They were standing uncommonly close, and even the subtle way their bodies leaned towards each other exuded affection. Then, as if they were somehow freakishly in tune with each other, they both began to speak all at once.

"Nico, I am so sorry. I promise, I'll let you do the Barack O'Llama sketch if it'll make it up to you. Who knows, maybe people with find an Irish llama as president funny!"

"Look man, I'm sorry about this. If you want I'll give you an advanced copy of the Mackenzie Falls made for TV movie. Heck, I'll even sign it too!"

"I'll buy you quality cheese for a whole week! You know what, make it a month."

"I'll get you on the cover of Tween Weekly for doing something cool, instead of for sneezing on Dakota Fanning like last time."

"I'll do your dry cleaning for a month! My mom just bought this awesome steamer, and I bet I could figure out how to work it for you."

"I'll let you drive my car as much as you want! Well, only on Mondays. And only after eight. And I would need it back by nine. And you would only be allowed to go to places within a one mile radius. You know what never mind about the driving; I'll let you sit in my car from eight to nine of Mondays. "

"All right, I'm going to stop you two right there," Nico said, cutting them off before they could suggest any more ridiculous offerings that he would never want, "because there's only one thing I want. The two of you both are going to go down to the Burger Barn, and you're going to wait for forty-five minutes in line just like I did. And then when they ask you what you want, you're going to order a Supreme Monster Double Trouble Burger. And then, you are going to bring it back here and give it to me."

Sonny and Chad were silenced once again. They exchanged a glance that Nico couldn't seem to read, but assumed was some form of agreement. The two then looked back at him and nodded, informing him that they would comply with his demands.

As the pair left the room hand in hand, Nico found himself smiling for the new couple. It was about time that they had gotten over their fears of revealing their feelings. Moreover, he found himself smiling at the idea that his dressing room was no longer a battleground, nor was he going to allow it to become a tonsil hockey rink. From now on, the only sweet love that would go on in that room would be between his taste buds and his delectable Supreme Monster Double Trouble Burger.

And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Sooo, what'd you think? I've been away for a while, so go easy on me, eh? Also, did anyone else notice my ridiculous use of alliteration in here? You take one AP Language and Composition course and this sort of thing happens. :P

Hey, have I introduced you to my friend Review Button? I really think you'd like him. You two should get to know each other, eh?

(I keep saying eh lately. I don't know if they actually say it that much in Canada, but just for good measure let the record show that I've never been there.)