Title: England's (not-so-secret) Quest For the Perfect Gift
Pairing/Characters: US/UK, Japan, China, France, Spain, Prussia
Rating: T
Summary: In which England looks for the perfect gift, other nations give unsolicited advice and America chooses what he really wants for Christmas.
Warning: language, kissing, fail attempts at humor, very brief appearance of lube
AN: Written for deixis_dyad(livejournal) over at the US/UK secret santa exchange. Their prompt was: England wants to get America a present... but what would floor him the most?
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
the start of a quest
England never really had to buy any Christmas gifts.
Usually, he would just knit some gloves and scarves or bake some chocolate biscuits to give to the other nations. (But they would usually refuse the biscuits and opt for just the knitwear instead, much to his surprise.)
But England realized, as he began knitting a pair of gloves by the window of his hotel room, that if he wanted to give America something special for Christmas, then knitted gloves and home-baked biscuits would just not do.
He needed something else, something different, something extra special. But what gift would floor America the most?
something new
England realized, as he walked aimlessly around the department store, that looking for the perfect gift was not going to be easy.
He had been browsing through the racks of clothes, the pairs of shoes and the random knick-knacks displayed on the shelves for over an hour now, but still…nothing.
England sighed and sat on a bench beside a display of laptops. He closed his eyes and rubbed his aching forehead. How was he supposed to look for the perfect gift if he did not know what exactly he was looking for?
"England-san? Is that you?"
England opened his eyes. There in front of him stood Japan, staring curiously at him.
"Japan!" he greeted, surprised. "What brings you here?"
Japan smiled. "Since the world meeting ended early, I decided to check out one of America-san's nearby department stores. How about you, England-san?"
"I'm shopping for a Christmas gift." England replied quickly.
"For someone special?"
"Y-yes." England stammered out, blushing.
"For America-san." Japan murmured, nodding.
"O-of course not!" England protested, but the color of his cheeks was saying otherwise.
Japan bowed in front of him. "If you would allow me, England-san, I would like to help you buy a gift for this special someone of yours."
England peered at the video games neatly displayed inside the glass case.
"You can never go wrong with video games when it comes to America-san." Japan murmured beside him.
England nodded. Why didn't he think of that before?
"Well," Japan continued, "which do you think would America-san like?"
"Hmmm…" England ran his finger along the glass, reading the titles carefully.
"Aha!" England turned to Japan excitedly, "There. At the very back."
Japan squinted his eyes. "Zombies…vs. Aliens." he read aloud.
"Volume 5, special edition." England continued. He grinned sheepishly at Japan's surprised face. "America would always invite me over to play that game at his house. And he has been bugging me with constant complaints of not having this particular volume for quite some time now.
Japan smiled. "Well then, let's go buy that now for America-san."
"Please forgive me for saying this, England-san," Japan said as they walked out of the department store, the video game wrapped in plastic and safe in England's arms, "but you shouldn't worry too much about what to give America-san."
"England raised an eyebrow at him. "And why is that so?"
"Because," Japan replied, "America-san would accept any gift, big or small, as long as he knows it came from you."
England looked away, blushing furiously. "Of course not." he muttered.
But Japan merely gave him a knowing smile.
something old
The world meeting was dragging on as usual and for the first time, England wasn't paying any attention.
He tried, God knows he tried, but he couldn't concentrate on what Germany was going on about in front of everybody. His mind was too busy worrying about something else.
He sighed as he drew circles all over the back of some piece of scrap paper. He wondered if the video game he bought with Japan was already the perfect gift for America. America liked video games, that was for sure, but he already had a vast collection of games in his house and well, he might think that another addition to his collection was not that special.
Which brings him back to the problem of not knowing what exactly to give America for Christmas.
England felt someone tap his back softly. He looked up from his paper and realized that he had been so lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice that the meeting was already adjourned for the day.
It was China who broke his reverie.
China pulled out a chair beside England. "So England," he said nonchalantly, "I heard you were looking for a gift for America aru?"
England nodded, wondering how China knew in the first place. He had taken extra pains in ensuring the secrecy of his Christmas quest and had not told anyone about it except Japan.(It wasn't that he didn't trust the other nations. But gossip could spread inside this world meeting room faster than a wildfire.)
"Well then," China announced cheerfully, "I have the perfect gift aru!" He picked up a large canvas bag that was lying on the floor beside him.
"But China," England protested as China rummaged through his bag, I already have a gift for America."
"Videogame aru?"
So China must have gotten the news from Japan. "Yes." England replied.
China looked up from his bag. "But don't you think it's too…ordinary aru?"
"How ironic," England thought, "coming from the land of mass-production himself.(no offense meant, of course)" But actually, he too had been thinking the same thing. America already had tens and hundreds of games in his collection and another video game might just be something ordinary for him.(And England refused to think that America might treat this game differently because it came from him. No. Of course not.)
"So," China said, interrupting England's thoughts, "I have an extraordinary gift. Just perfect for America aru."
He pushed a long rectangular box towards England.
"What's this?" England asked, playing around with the box.
"Just open it aru." China replied, impatiently.
Slowly, England opened the box and peeked inside. Only to quickly close it again.
"A-are you out of your mind?" England spluttered out. "Don't you know how much these Ming dynasty coins can fetch at auctions? Don't you know how much museums are willing to pay for these?"
"Don't worry," China said casually, "I have a lot of ancient coins scattered in my house. And from different dynasties too. And since America seems to be interested in looking for old treasures, why not give him those aru."
"But China, are you sure?" England asked slowly. It wasn't exactly like China to just give away things without any profit.
"Ai-ya." China replied with a regal wave of his hand. "Just accept it already aru! I wanted to sell you some happiness pandas(buy one take one aru!) but then I found these coins and I remembered Japan mentioning something about you looking for a gift for America and well, a person should always give his lover something special, right aru?"
"H-he, America's not my lover!" England protested but China shushed him with another wave of his hand. "No more denials! Everyone can already see it aru!" he teased making Enlgnad flush in embarrassment.
China stood up and ruffled England's hair. "Good luck to both of you." he murmured. "I think you can do a lot of good to each other aru."
He chuckled at England's blushing face. Then dragging his large canvas bag along, he walked towards the door and out of the room.
something romantic(?)
After China had left the room, England pulled the box closer to him again. Slowly, he opened the lid.
He picked up a coin and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger thoughtfully.
"Well," he thought, "This could make a fine gift." America was, after all, really into archaeology, dragging England along on those wild adventures of his. Maybe these coins would remind him of all those trips. And besides it wasn't like America could get his hands on Ming dynasty coins everyday.(Or maybe he could; he was a world superpower now after all. But England would rather think otherwise.)
"So it's finally settled. I'll give these coins to America. And I'll add in the videogame for good measure." England murmured to himself, feeling very much satisfied.
Now in better spirits, England quickly gathered up the box and his papers and prepared to stand up.
Only to be pulled back down on his chair by an unseen hand.
"Angleterre, how could you?" said an overly dramatic voice from underneath the table. "Why are you giving such unromantic gifts to Amérique? A videogame and coins? Where is the romance in those, mon ami?"
"Oh bloody hell." England cursed, jumping up from his seat, "How long have you been underneath the table, you frog?"
And in a shower of roses that inexplicably came from underneath the table, France crawled out with as much poise as he could muster in such a situation.
"Oh Angleterre," France sighed, clapping a hand on England's shoulder, " Why give such unromantic gifts to Amérique? Why blow out the spark between the two of you when it has barely been ignited?"
"Because," England snapped, shrugging away France's hand crossly, "there is no 'spark' between us, you git!"
"But," France protested, "how can you still deny it? Everybody can see the loving way you look into each other's eyes whenever you think no one's looking. Even Spain knows and he's not exactly known for being attentive."
England could swear he was not looking into America's eyes lovingly and he was just about to say so when France cut him off: "But don't fret, mon ami! I have the perfect gift, something that will certainly have that spark between you and Amérique jumping into flames in no time!"
France knelt beside the table and snapped his fingers.
England could hear fumbling around and annoyed mutterings from underneath the table. And then a bottle rolled out, stopping beside England's foot.
It was a bottle of lube.
France opened his mouth to explain but England's fist angrily made contact with his chin and sent him flying to the floor.
"I'm sorry, amigo. I rolled out the wrong bottle." And Spain crawled out from underneath the table, looking very sheepish.
And Prussia crawled out after Spain, looking very cross. "And I refuse to stay any longer underneath this fucking table. You know how much I hate having my face so near the floor; it hurts my ego."
Spain stood up and England noticed that he was carrying a bottle of wine with him.
He handed the bottle to a surprised England. "Give this to America for Christmas," he said grinning, "Then maybe you two can drink this together and, as France said, have that spark between you jumping into flames in no time."
France sat up and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "And it works better if you do it at night."
Prussia stood up too and placed a CD on top of England's paperwork. "And here, have a hard-core metal CD. Use it as background music or something when you and America start fucking each other up after all those wine."
"Wha-" England stammered out, "What makes you think we'll do that, you git!"
Prussia snickered and Spain covered his mouth with his hand to contain his laughter.
"Oh my dear Angleterre," France sighed dramatically, "If it's not true, then why is your face such an adorable shade of red?"
"Hmph." England gathered up his paper, the CD, the box of coins and the bottle of wine and quickly walked towards the door.
"Keep the spark burning, Angleterre!" France called out as England slammed the door behind him, his face still a bright shade of red."
what he really wants
The wine did prove useful. But not in the way France expected.
England poured himself a glass of wine and drank it straight up to drown the frustration welling up inside him.
It wasn't that he had nothing to give. The floor he was sitting on was actually littered with gift items, donated by the other nations.
There was a kettle from Italy(for boiling pasta!), a huge cat plushie from Greece(because apparently Japan always says America acts like a kid) and a camera from Hungary(don't forget to record everything that happens on the night before Christmas! –wink wink-) among many others. Because apparently, it seemed that almost every nation has heard of his supposedly secret Christmas quest.
He sighed and poured himself another glass of wine. Now his only problem was choosing which of these gifts would America like the best.
"Hey Iggy! What's up?"
England almost spat out his drink in shock. No one called him 'Iggy' except-
"A-America! What are you doing here?"
America knelt beside England and laughed. "I should be the one asking you that, Iggy. Why are you still here in the hotel? Aren't you coming home for Christmas? Not that I'm complaining or anything…"
But before England could answer, America saw the gifts scattered on the floor.
"Wow England!" America picked up the cat stuff toy and played around with it. "Who are you giving these to?"
It was short of a miracle that almost every nation has heard of his Christmas quest except America himself.
"A-A…" England felt his mouth run dry. He gulped down his wine quickly to calm his nerves.
America glanced at England and grinned. "You look so red, Iggy."
"Must be from all the wine." England muttered.
America stood up and picked up the bottle of wine from the floor. "Well then, I'll put this in the kitchen." He chuckled. "Don't want to deal with a drunk Iggy on Christmas Eve."
"Hey America," England asked as casually as he could. "if I asked you to choose from any of the gifts on the floor, which would you choose?"
"Hmmm…" America sat down again beside England. He was so deep in thought that his eyebrows were starting to scrunch up in an adorable sort of way. (But England will never ever admit that out loud.)
America glanced at England then at the gifts on the floor then back at England again. He broke into a wide grin.
"Then, I'll pick you, Iggy!"
England smacked the back of America's head lightly. "You stupid git." he muttered, blushing.
America leaned closer to England. "But it's true, England. I want you as my Christmas gift."
And before England could protest, America bent forward and kissed his lips.
And soon, England found himself on the floor, his fingers entwined with America's hair, kissing his lips fiercely.
"So England," America whispered a bit breathlessly as soon as they ended their kiss, "what do you want for Christmas?"
"What do you think" England whispered back. Then he pulled America closer and kissed him again.
And the gifts littering the floor were soon left forgotten.
end