"Over and over again, I keep falling down.
I hold your shoulder while you silently cry.
I know I'm not the one,
But even so, I can't let go of your tiny little hands.
Please don't cry."

- "Plastic Garden" by ayuciki (ft. Hiyama Kiyoteru, Kagamine Rin, and Kagamine Len) Translation by Hazuki no Yume

"Did you plant these, Teru?"

I look up from the table I'd been setting.

She's standing in the middle of the pond, the beautiful yellow dress she tailored herself hiked up above her knees. Her fingers brush the petals of a red water lily, then turns in a circle, admiring all the flowers there individually. "They're gorgeous."

I place the final bowl of fruit on the table and walk over to the water's edge. "You'll catch cold, Miss. You should have told me you'd like to go swimming," it takes more effort than I care to admit to keep myself from shaking my head, "I'll fetch you a towel. Please come back to shore."

She doesn't respond to me at all, just bends down to pluck one lily from the bunch. "They weren't here last year..." she brings the flower to her nose to smell it. A smile blooms on her face at the scent. "Teru! They're lovely!"

"Come out of the water," I repeat, holding back a smile. I grab a towel from the table, meant for the sparkling cider, but it would do to dry her feet. "It may be spring, but this chill can still harm you."

Thinking she'll ignore me again, I lay the towel down on the shore. I sneak a glance at her as she weaves the lily she picked into her headband. "It's only my socks that are wet. You should come in. These flowers are gorgeous."

I shudder involuntarily. The water is not something I appreciate at any time of year, let alone in the chilly spring. I turn back to the table. "Come eat..." I say it mostly in resignation. Fear of cold never would've stopped her from enjoying the flowers.

She lets out a combination of a sigh and a giggle as she wades her way back to the bank, two or three more lilies in her grasp. Passing by the towel on the shore, she goes directly to sit at the table and takes off her socks. I fetch the towel and place it over her lap. She lets out another sigh and dries her now muddied feet while I smooth the tablecloth.

I place the bread-made from grain we'd grown together-on her plate with the cheese. Thus, I'm not paying attention when she suddenly pushes a lily towards my nose. My head jumps back involuntarily. "They smell so... fresh. It reminds me of the herbs we grow," she says.

With slight hesitation, I place my fingers gently over her's and breathe in. She's right of course. It smells more strongly aquatic than most of the other plants in the garden. "It's very pleasant," I tell her as I start to straighten up, "Perhaps this evening we can manage to turn it into a candle or fragrance."

She hums in satisfaction and snatches me back down to her level. With a deft movement, she slips the stem of the water lily into the broach on my chest. She lingers there long, admiring her handiwork. The weight of her hand almost makes me draw uncomfortably back again, but I somehow manage to remain steady. "It suits you," she says lightly as she admires it and pulls away.

Hiding the feeling in my chest, I take the other lilies from the table and turn to the vase there. I pull out the white gardenias currently taking up residence and set them aside as I replace them with the freshly picked flowers. She watches me with some satisfaction at the change. "They're such beautiful flowers. I'm grateful it's spring."

Offering nothing in agreement, I stare at the gardenias for a long moment before picking it up and twirling the stem between my fingers. I offer it to her. She smiles. "Ah! Thank you, Teru."

She takes the flowers from between my fingers and presses them to her lips, giving me a glance as she appreciates the scent. Her gaze holds mine for a moment and she takes a breath as if she's about to say something, but words never come out. Eventually, she just brings the gardenias up to her hair and weaves them in deftly.

I only bow in return and leave, getting a fresh towel and new socks for her. By the time I've returned to the pond, she's waded back into it. Her dress is pooled in the water around her and she has an armful of water lilies as she stares off towards the sunset.

I hold back an agitated sigh and walk up to the water's edge, unfolding the towel. "Ma'am, I really must insist you stay out of the water until warmer weather favors us."

She doesn't respond for quite some time and I wonder at her sudden stubbornness. "Miss," I practically sigh.

It's then I notice her shoulder's shaking and my heart sinks immediately. I drop the towel on the shore and slip off my shoes. The pond's cold water makes me wince, but I still walk out towards her, shedding my suit jacket. As I reach her, I drape it over her shoulders and keep my hands there, hoping the weight and warmth will somehow comfort her. As I do, the sounds she'd been hiding suddenly force their way out; hiccuped sobs and half-coughed cries tumble from her lips. I silently study her face with worry.

And guilt.

I doubt myself for the thousandth time and I take a breath, hoping to say something. But nothing comes out. I don't know what to say anyways...

"We-we used to have these," she says quietly, "Next to home. We'd pick them together and give them to... give them to..." She can't form the words and I just stand quietly.

In one sudden movement, she rips her shoulders away from me, knocking my jacket into the water with a huge splash. Her tiny fist hits my chest once, with force and unspent hatred behind it. "Why do you keep me here?!" her voice cracks and my stomach turns, "What could you possibly want from me now!?" Another sob escapes her lips, then she suddenly grabs my collar and pulls me down roughly. I'm forced to stare into her wide, reddened eyes. Despair is written all over her face, "'A soul for a soul'? He didn't even want mine! He's just kept me here, waiting for me to rot!" She trails off for a moment as she lets out another hiccuped sob. Then there's a renewed vigor in her voice as she jerks my eyes back to meet hers, "And I won't rot! I won't! I refuse! And what do I get?! I just stand her and pick flowers and wait because there's no escape! I can't leave, can I? I just have to wait..." Her voice devolves into such a crackling mess that suddenly she can't even speak. I only stare blankly. I can't manage anything more.

She drops her grip on my collar and glares up into the sky at some being she's never seen "But I still I won't rot!" she yells upwards, "Do you hear me!? I refuse!" For several long moments she heaves shaky breaths through her lungs. Eventually she seems to lose all strength and she collapses into my chest. I suck in a breath, holding my own tears at bay. Her tiny frame quivers against my chest as tears stain my shirt. I stand there useless for a moment before slowly wrapping my arms around her. I stroke her hair lightly. A few stray tear makes it past my defenses and I rush to wipe them away.

She's calmed down now, crouching at the edge of the pond with a pot in her hands. She's filling it with lily petals for us to take later and boil to make into fragrances. It's just another distraction so neither of us think about the sad fate she's been forced into. I'm cleaning up the remnants of the picnic, trying very hard not to think.

Seeing her cry shakes me to the bone every time, no matter how many times I've seen it since we've met. I don't know how to comfort her, how to help her stop, or how to behave afterwards. She always just goes back to life like nothing has changed. I try to do the same.

There's a loud crash and a nervousness I hadn't known I'd been nursing explodes in my chest. I turn on my heel and walk towards her quickly. "Are you alright, Miss?" my voice sounds breathless.

As I reach her, I see the pot in pieces at her feet and her wide eyes are focused completely on the bushes. I'm not even sure she heard me. She takes a very long time to respond and when she does she can only just bear to drag her gaze from the bushes like they're the most precious thing in the world. I glance over in suspicion. "I'm fine," she says quietly, "I just thought I saw a... a... bo-a bird."

My heart feels like it stops in my chest. I know better than to think that my master would release the bird, after how he lost it before, but dread still can't stop growing in me. "Perhaps it's a butterfly," I say, unconvincing even to myself, "Birds can't survive here untended. You know that."

Her eyes are already back on the bushes. "Of course..."

My hands are shaking from unspent adrenaline, so I drop to my knees and begin picking up the broken shards of the pot. As I do, the clay shards suddenly start to turn my gloves red. At first, I thought I'd cut myself, but it becomes clear that her feet are the ones cut. My gaze snaps up in alarm. "Miss. You're feet."

She looks down at them like she'd never seen them before. "Oh," she says like it doesn't matter. It does matter. Her feet are red with all sorts of small cuts and I have no way of telling whether or not they're deep. I stand and put my hand to her back. "Let me get you over to the chair, ma'am."

She only hums in response.

I pick her up as gently as I can manage and she doesn't resist, only looks down at her hands, thinking.

"If I may be so bold," I say as I lower her into the seat, "Please be more careful. You are not the type to be so careless."

This time she sounds like she's listened and she sighs. "I know Teru. I'm sorry."

I don't offer a reply and grab the towel she'd refused to use. I wipe lightly at the blood, struggling not to hurt her. She's watching me, but not like she's actually looking at me. Rather, she seems to be looking through me at the ground, trying to gather some stray thoughts.

My chest still hurts from her statement. I can't seem to quiet my fears about the bird, as irrational as I know them to be.

I lost my attention for too long. I jerk my hand back as something cuts into it. A small shard that must still have been in her foot pricks my finger and sticks. My gloved finger starts to turn red. "Ah. My apologies," I tell her as I study it, "I should have been playing closer attention."

"Why are you apologizing? Are you alright?" she asks as she grabs my hand.

I freeze.

"I'm sorry for the trouble," she says as she pulls the shard out gently. It's extremely small, so I'm happy she's done it. Her fingers are far more delicate than mine. She lets go of my hand and I let it fall to my lap, her warmth lingering on it.

I frown a bit at my soiled glove before turning my attention back to her feet. "I hope they're aren't anymore. Having shards of clay in your foot..."

She stands abruptly, brushing me aside without actually touching me. "I'm fine, Teru," she says. She's obviously trying to keep her voice light, although she's largely failing, "It's getting late. I'm tired."

Clearly, I'm not masking my concern as she looks at me in slight annoyance. I still stand and bow. "I'm sorry. I'll leave it for you to tend to, Miss."

She pales a bit. "Oh, Teru. I'm sorry. I'm not angry, it's just..." her arm gestures vaguely, "I'm tired," she repeats.

"Of course," I say, although I have my doubts. The sun is barely sinking and I can't help but feel like she's behaving strangely. "Have a good night's rest, ma'am."

She looks at me and I can't quite read what she's trying to say, although there's meaning behind the glance. After a moment, she just smiles as I bow again in a farewell and then departs.

I watch her leave and then sigh, turning towards the broken pot.

When I first met her, it was a surprise. My master and I had lived above the garden for quite some time. I had been born there, but other than that I didn't know much about it. I wasn't entirely sure why my master kept the garden other than to have a place for his soul to reside.

He wasn't angry for some reason when two children entered the garden on their own, barely younger than me. I didn't dare ask questions, but I had many of them. After all, I found it hard to believe that two human children had just wandered in.

We watched them for quite some time, all the while they got closer and closer to his soul. I got nervous, but I dared not utter a word. I just stood by my master's side waiting for a command if he gave it.

Eventually, the girl does find the cage. I watch in slight horror as she reaches for it, the boy clearly encouraging her to. I parted my lips, perhaps wanting to warn her, but nothing came out.

I watched her fingers find the clasp and in one smooth movement the bird-my master's soul-is released from it's cage.

Instantly, I was in the garden standing by the cage and the girl is alone. I hadn't remembered my master giving the order, but I did know what it was:

"Keep her here. A soul for a soul."

I watched her purely in curiosity while she stared at me in horror. She was shocked and shaking. Her hand reached for her friend's even though he'd been kicked out long before she began looking for him. He'd never remember her again.

She seemed terrified and I didn't know what to say with her. Despite being human myself, I rarely dealt with beings like me. I didn't know how to respond. So, I said the only thing I can think of. "That bird was my master's soul," my voice cracked in disuse, "You stole into his garden and released his soul. He doesn't want to forgive you." Tears formed in the girl's eyes although at the time I couldn't understand why. These are facts. Why cry over the truth? "A soul for a soul. You must stay until my master releases you."

The little girl began to cry. I stared at her in surprise. That young, I couldn't even begin to understand why she would be crying and I knew even less on how to comfort her. I just watched, uncertain how to behave. Wiping away tears was not anything I'd been trained to do. After long moments of her looking so terribly vulnerable and alone, I suddenly resolved to brush her arm with my fingers. Immediately, she collapsed on me and sobbed into my shoulder. I was shocked and a little terrified by the sudden contact. I'd never even touched anyone before. After a long while, I just wrap my arms around her. "Where'd he go?" her tiny, broken voice asked, "I-I don't want to be alone here."

I didn't know what to tell her about that. My mouth was dry and I felt light-headed from uncertainty.

I took an unreasonably shaky breath and offered her one of the only smiles I'd ever given her, my muscles finding the expression naturally. "Don't worry," I said, "I will serve you. You will never be alone."

I had never had the courage to tell her when the bird returned years later and his soul was back in the master control. When it'd happened, I asked for her release. He simply said 'no'. I begged. He said he'd kill me. I settled uncomfortably into the fact that she would never be leaving the garden.

I'd thought to free her myself. I had the power to from the start, although back then I still believed my master's idea of a "soul for a soul". Now, I had no excuse. The only thing I thought of when the possibility occurred to me was my own death that it would result in. I didn't think of her, or whether it was the right thing. I was only worried for me.

And I hated myself.

Going through about the facts, worrying about things I know can't come to pass... I'm not thinking clearly. I'm weirdly terrified and I feel utterly alone. I stare into the pond and tear an undeserving lily pad into pieces. My thoughts are all awful and invasive and I can't stand them. They only make me hate myself more.

As I stand there, utterly useless, I hear voices. An uncomfortable panic instantly settles into my chest. A voice in the garden is improbable. She likely wouldn't go out on her own.

But two voices, hushed and hurried, is impossible.

I have a sword in my hand before I know where to find it.

Following voices in this garden is not hard. No matter how quiet you are, it's easy in a garden where two people exist. I see her yellow dress first, caught on a bit of a bush. I walk closer until I can see and hear everything clearly. I'm not trying to hide, but neither figures notice me behind a shrub.

In front of her stands a boy, clasping her hands. A boy a recognize. How he got in here again, I can't begin to fathom. The chances of him find his way back even if he did remember are close to none. My emotions devolve into a terrified mess.

"-you remember me, Len?" she pauses, "Even if you don't... I'm so happy." Her voice is barely above a whisper as she clearly releases a desire she'd kept deep in her heart.

"We have to get you out. That beast who's trapped-"

I can't stand still and listen. I'm not willing to. Letting her escape...

Who would that be bad for? You or her?

Doubt struggles it's way up into my heart, but I shove it down as best as I can. I can't allow this. I can't.

She finally notices me as I step into the clearing, Her grip on the boy's hands loosen as she looks over in shock. "Teru." It's not really said in surprise or anger or sadness, it's just a statement hanging in the air.

The boy turns immediately and faces me. His face hardens, any trace of the joyous look he'd had before gone. He moves to stand in front of her protectively, drawing his sword.

"Len!" she says his name in alarm.

"You're the beast who kept her here all these years?"

I only stand there, sword by my side, not sure of the answer myself.

"Len, he's not-"

"I'm taking her now, beast! You have no right to keep her here," he takes an offensive stance, "The bird has been returned. Her soul is no longer yours to keep."

I had been terrified of this moment for so long, but no other feeling but relief comes along with it being revealed. I can't worry about it for now. I can't let him take her.

"The bird? Teru?" she looks at me like I've hit her, "Has returned?"

A lump forms in my throat as I see her face. In response, I take my own fighting stance. "She can't leave," I say.

"I won't let her stay," he says in defiance.

I don't hesitate to take the first blow. I lunge for his exposed left side. I expect for him to fall for the feint and for his sword to block mine, so I quickly swing to the right. I am not so lucky that he would fall for that. He knows what he's doing. Metal strikes metal and I stumble past him from the force of the hit. He wastes no time in trying to strike my exposed side and I barely manage to block the thrust in time. My hand vibrates from the shock of the attack. Thankfully, he's also thrown off guard. I regain my footing quickly and attack.

His sword slides past me and I feel metal tear into my skin. My own sword hits nothing and I find myself helpless.

The fight is over. I can't raise my sword.

My eyes go to her's almost instinctively. She's watching with horror, her hands covering her mouth. I want to comfort her like I had so many times before, but instead I just stand there, hopeless and hating myself. I'm too weak to take the steps to at least say good-bye.

I see him prepare to strike from the corner of my eye, his sword going to the level of my heart. I don't turn to him, though, I only watch her although I don't know what I'm looking for.

She says something so quietly, I almost don't catch it. Her face suddenly calms. "I've awoken from my dream..."

I can't absorb the words or fathom what they mean before I notice his muscles tense. I steel myself for the hit, feeling a sense of acceptance at my fate.

The sword cuts through the air, but suddenly she's in front of me, hands thrown out wide to protect me.

Something breaks in me, something that hadn't broken when I thought of my own death. "Rin!" my lips part in a desperate, hoarse cry as I wait for the awful moment.

But it never comes. His blade stops mere inches from her chest. He stares at her with an unwavering gaze, his sword steady.

"This is the end," she says with a somewhat bitter smile, staring down her savior.

Something pierces me a sharp as the sword-an odd conviction that I suddenly don't care what happens to me. All the worries I'd had before-all the reasons I'd had for keeping her here-suddenly disappear. Something becomes far more important and the answer all along was simple: I loved her and there was one thing I wanted more than my own life.

I wanted her to be happy.

She would never be happy in this garden, no matter how hard I struggled for it. I always knew this would be my end with her. The only happy ending to this was my death from the very beginning. Perhaps my master knew that. Perhaps that's why he kept her.

Resolve settles in me and I grab her hand.

"Open the gate."

The sound of screeching old metal starts at my command. I start running. "Hurry," I warn. My master knows of everything that happens here. We don't have long.

Rin's hand is warm in mine and I treasure the feeling like it's the most important thing in the world. Because it is.

"You have to take care of her!" I tell the boy, perhaps uselessly. He'd already done a far better job than I had.

"I will," is all he says in reply.

"Teru, what about-"

I can't let her finish the question. I reach the gate and let go of her hand, the whole moment going by so slowly and yet so quickly. My eyes well up. I'm not prepared for this good-bye even though I'd desperately wanted to be.

The worst part is the look on her face once she realize I've let go. She has only just realized that I'm not going with her. Rin's gaze is so desperate and sad I can barely stand it.

"Please go," I say with a smile, trying to reassure her.

Len grabs her hand as she stalls a moment just inside the gate and tugs her through the last couple steps. "Teru!" She yells, her arm reaching for me. She wants to say more and I wish I could let her say it. I wish I could go with her, but human as I might be I still cannot leave this garden.

Overcome with emotion myself, I give her one final bow. "I pray you will find happiness."

That was all that was truly important from the start, if I'd only realized it sooner. If she was happy outside of the garden, it would be fine, even if I was not alive to see it.

Her mouth opens to reply, but both of them are gone before any careless words can escape her lips. I stare after hopelessly, tears overflowing onto my cheeks.

Once she's out of sight, I feel my master's long, unnatural fingers wrap around my neck.

Comments and critique always appreciated.