Hello. This is my very first Chelsie fanfic. And I'm not English, and I might have difficulties with the language. Please forgive me for that.

It's an AU Chelsie fanfiction. In that story, Joe Burns's wife, Ivy, didn't die in 1910, but in 1921. So Burns didn't want to propose to Mrs Hughes in 1913. They just bumped into each other at the fair and Elsie saw him with his wife and son and it made her feel sad.

And there is another alteration. After Elsie told Mr Carson the story about Becky and her poverty, she bumps into Joe at the village and they strated to exchange letters...

The characters and the story belong to Julian Fellowes.

Set: Christmas 1924. Mr Carson asks Mrs Hughes for a few minutes alone during the Christmas party.

Patience is a Virtue... and Refusing is the Reward?

Chapter 1

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"You are if you think I'm asking you to marry me."

Elsie took a deep breath. Idiotic man. Why did he have to say it now? They had known each other for twenty years and she had been waiting for him to propose to her for one year. But it was too late…

The housekeeper held the two glasses so tightly, that she was afraid of knapping them. She didn't dare to look in Mr Carson's eyes, but focused on his hand. His voice was calm, his speech was tight-lipped and very unromantic, but still sweet and understandable. But his hands were shaking from fluster.

"Mr. Carson," she was still staring at his hand "I think it's time to involve you in my little secret."

"Are you not offended?" Mr Carson frowned his eyebrows.

Elsie had to laugh. That wasn't joyful, but desperate and bitter. She was going to offend that man in minutes. She was going to make his heart broken. He was standing in front of her, having a lump in his throat, begging for her answer and she was going to hurt him and make him feel miserable. Her heart went out to him.

"Oh Mr Carson I can assure the very last thing in the world that I am in this moment is offended."

Elsie put the glasses on Mr Carson's desk, still avoiding his gaze. She had to continue.

"But …"

"But?"

Elsie had to look up the butler at least once. His eyes were full of hope and fear. He had never been good at expressing his feelings but Elsie knew that Mr. Carson was vulnerable and unsheltered at the moment.

"Mr. Carson," she started with heavy heart." I had originally wished to let it know after Christmas. I was aware of the fact that you all were busy these days and I didn't intend to bother the staff with my private life and problems."

Elsie licked her upper lip as if she was trying to gain strength to say her thoughts aloud.

"After a few days later, when I told you about my financial and family background, I had to go to the village to arrange some private things. There I bumped into one of my former …" she cleared her throat "suitors. He is a widowed farmer now. We were struggling and chatting and were a bit nostaligc, I suppose. We exchanged some letters, and I received one from him a few weeks ago where he asked me to marry him. I've been thinking about it a lot, and finally I wrote him back to ask him to visit me and have a conversation about it personally. We had dinner last week."

Mr. Carson bit his lip so hard that it started bleeding. He closed his eyes for a moment to gain himself together.

"And you accepted him, didn't you?" he asked stilly with a broken heart.

Elsie didn't respond but he understood her unspoken words.

"I see," he nodded resignedly.

"Mr Carson. You must understand… I felt then and there that I had no other opportunities. Mrs Patmore is having a boarding house, Daisy is planning to continue her studies and lead a farm, Mr and Mrs Bates are also dreaming of something like that, Gwen is a secretary and a wife now, Alfred is working as a chef, Ivy is fulfilling her dreams in America. Everybody is moving away and going on, except me."

Mr Carson's eyes widened. Elsie was aware of the fact that she must had spoken sharper and louder but based on his reaction, she had been shouting. She casted down her eyes like a young maid.

That was followed by emberassing silence. Mrs Hughes was twiddling with her thumb and Mr Carson's face gone red and he was unable to say a word by the humilation and pain he felt.

"Mrs Hughes… believe or not, I can imagine how awkward this situtation is for you… not to mention me, of course. I suppose, you should go and join the others and I would be very grateful, if we never mentioned this pointless conversation again."

It was obvious and natural for Elsie that Mr Carson wished to be alone in order to pull himself together and be able to go on. She had seen Mr Carson being melancholic many times, so she knew exactly what he needed those times. He went to his pantry, locked his door for a few minutes then came out as if nothing had happened. Or he looked for her and spillt his heart out for her. But that was an occasion she couldn't help him. Actually, she was the reason why he felt miserable.

She hesitated whether she should put her hand on his for a moment. Maybe he would yell at her or pull himself away from her. But it was worth a punt. Her hand reached out for his wrist and tightened it.

"I'm so sorry, Mr Carson. I can't even express you how much."

He wilted down. Elsie felt something wet on her hand. She was sure that he was fighting with tears. Elsie saw that it was time to move off.

She closed the door after herself and started scuttling. Mr. Carson was probably going to join them too after a few seconds alone. He just needed to brace himself up… and have a good cry. Daft man! If he hadn't come with that ridiculous idea of investing a propety together, but begun in medias res and offered his hand or kissed her or anything…

Elsie stopped and sighed.

"Be fair-minded, Elsie for God's sake." She scolded herself." You are in fault as much as he is. Why didn't you tell him that you had no money for his business? You should have known that he was going to ask you sooner or late. It was his intention from the begginning. You stupid female, you were the one who jumped into Joe's arms and accepted his proposal, weren't you? You have been always proud of your independence and practical mentality. And now you are giving your first wooer the glad hand. You are a miserable coward."

She didn't want to cry in front of Mr Carson. She thought she had no right for that. But now she began snobbing.

xxxxxx

Charles was sitting behind his desk. His eyes were teary and he felt destroyed. The alcohol in the glasses had been drunken. He knew he couldn't stay alone for too long because he would be missed. He felt himself like an oversensitive lad after his first amorous disappointment who hated the whole bloody world because of his own bitterness.

He was angry at Mrs Hughes, althought he felt that feeling wasn't righetous. She was fair as much as somebody could be fair in a situation like that. And yet… it was very rude from her, giving him a bucket at Christmas Eve. She should had waited at least two or three days. A proper lady would never ruin somebody's Christmas Eve by refusing him... But Mrs Hughes wasn't a lady.

In this manner, he acted stupidly too. Why the hell did he have to ask her at Chistmas Eve, when there was still a chance of being refused? He had only himself to thank for it.

Charles could had yelled and ravaged. If he had popped the question a few weeks earlier… But he was late. Mrs Hughes was marrying someone else because she was, as she had called herself earlier, a pauper, because she had nobody with the exception of her ill-minded sister, and because she was growing old. Maybe it wasn't the most elegant, the most dignified step from her, but it was quite compherensible.

He felt himself last time so miserable and disappointed when Charlie and Alice announced their wedding. He felt he was betrayed. He and Alice had been like a married couple. They had been planning their common future and saving money for months. Charles had planned to marry her as soon as they would had enough money.

But he had been waiting for too long… Alice had probably been fed up with inaction and jumped into the first fellow's arm who asked her. He punched Charlie Grigg in the eye for that. They had a fray then.

Later he came to Alice to apologize and wish her luck. As he found out later, that poor sweetheart had never realized that Charlie had stolen their money for their new life.

Being ashamed and broken, he went to work as a servant… again. He was a butler at Mrs. Simpson's home, who was from the middle-class. Then he got a job as a footman in Downton Abbey where he had served in his younger years. He became Downton Abbey's butler when Lady Mary was born. He had never had a child but he and Lady Mary were as close to each other as they were allowed by their social differences. She had always been like a daughter to him.

Elsie Hughes got the job at Downton Abbey as a head housemaid at the turn of the century. She wasn't young or stunningly beautiful, yet she possessed some kind of charm, and a natural talent of getting on well with most people which made her unspeakably attractive.

Yes, she was nice, intelligent, hard-working… but still, she was only a housemaid for Charles. He started to develop a special friendship with her, when she was chosen to be the housekeeper by Mrs Stevens who was just about to retire. Originally Miss O'Brien was expected to be the next housekeeper, because of her position as a lady's maid, but Mrs Stevens found Elsie more reliabe and emphatetic.

As soon as Elsie became Mrs Hughes, her former charm and openness just vanished. She became distant and dignified. She remained as helpful and kind with the maids and the footmen as she had been, but she made her masterhip felt quite often.

They started their nightly small talks that time. They mostly discussed the problems of the household, but sometimes they talked about themselves too. Once, before that terrible war, he found her in tears. She told him about her last missed chance of getting married. There was a man, called John or Joe Burns - Charles didn't remember exactly -, who wanted to propose to her when she came there as a head housemaid. After being turned down, Mr Burns married another woman and had a son together. She bumped into them at the fair, saw them happy and content and she realized what she had missed by refusing him…

Joe Burns…? JOE BURNS?! Of course! It was a bolt from the blue for Charles. The widowed farmer, one of her former suitors. Charles was sure she had been talking about him. He had widowed, and now he desperately wished to find a woman who would take care of him.

That was the point when Charles was furious at Mrs Hughes. How could she go that far? Was she so afraid of loneliness that she would be a slave of a bumpkin? A respectable housekeeper would give up her career for being a farmer's wife? Ridiculous.

Charles started from his chair, grabbed the nearest thing and dropped it onto the floor. It was Alice's photo with that frame Mrs Hughes had presented him. The frame was broken successfully.

xxxxxx

Elsie was slinkling silently next Mrs Patmore while the others were singing.

"Where is Mr Carson?" The cook asked.

Elsie blushed and cleared her throat.

"We had to have a conversation about a private thing, and he suddenly felt dizzy. He let me go back to you, but he said that he needed some minutes alone before he followed me."

Elsie secretly praised herself for making up such a great lie.

"But what happened to him? It's not his heart, is it?" she enquired apprehensively.

Elsie gave her a scornful blink.

"Mrs Patmore. I'm not sure it's the right place or the right time for that discussion." Elsie's voice was unwontedly nervous and sharp which surprised her friend.

Mrs Patmore was a bit emberassed but kept silent. If she knew that she had almost blundered up it…

xxxxxx

Charles finally felt ready to join the celebrators althought the last thing he wanted to do was celebrating and singing songs. He made his way upstairs when he caught a glimpse of the embracing Mr and Mrs Bates. If he wasn't that trist, he would shake hands with Mr Bates and greet him cheerfully. But now, he despised every kind of romance in world. He would had liked to pass by them without getting any attention. Unfortunately, he didn't succeed.

"Happy Christmas, Mr Carson. I'm so glad to see you," said Mr Bates with a blissful grin on his face.

Mr Carson looked at him sternly and left them without saying anything.

Hope you like it.