Author's notes: Yeah, yeah, I know. I've revised this one just a wee bit too much. But this time I have a REASON! A real one, too. The thing is, I could never get myself to write this cuz I no longer drool over Frodo the most. So now, I can write it again cuz Amber was replaced with Kimberly. So yays there. And just in case you were wondering, Merry ish my new drool toy. Merry and Dom... *drools*
Disclaimer: I don't own that much, but what I do own isn't much. Ooh, confusing, cool. Well, I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of the characters, the concept of Mary Sues (Which this is OBVIOUSLY), or any of the brand names and/or pop culture references in this fic or any of my others'. I do own Kimberly and Vanessa, even if they aren't very original, and I do own two different copies of the trilogy, and a BIG collection of romance novels, and I own this computer, and that purse, and the platforms, and the id VampAmber, and I own a few other things too, but I really do NOT feel like listing 'em at the moment. So be damn happy with this! And also, not making money offa this, yada yada yada (not that I could even if I was allowed, this fic isn't exactly my best work ever *cough*pieceofshit*cough*).
A/N 2: The name may have been changed to help my creative juices to flow, but I'm still basically modeling Kimberly after myself. Though I am kinda making her a lot more blonde (aka stupid and unaware) than I really am. And Vanessa is still being slightly modeled after Whitney, but also a bit of my friend Brittanie now.
A/N 3: For those noticing my bad grammar, I don't use a beta cuz I'm too impatient, and I suck entirely at grammar (hence me taking a low writing class at Wright State in the fall). So if it really bothers you that much, email me at AOL and be my beta. I also kinda need one for a few of my other stories, so I need someone who has a LOT of free time to beta my stuffs, okies?
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"Ninth time is better than the eighth, I swear," A blond girl walks out of the movie theater, talking to her friend.
"I could watch that movie a million times, and it still wouldn't be enough," her blond friend says.
They walk past the poster for the movie, and it says "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring". They stop and stare at the poster for a few minutes before moving on.
"I swear Kimmy, Legolas just keeps getting cuter and cuter," the blond friend says, before sighing.
"Yeah Ness," Kimberly replies, " he is hot, but Frodo is pretty cute, too." They both stop, and sigh.
"My gawd," Vanessa says, "we've turned into drooling fan-girls." Kimberly sticks out her tongue and pants. Vanessa laughs, and rolls her eyes at Kimberly. Kimberly is usually like that, being a big ol' goof.
"Oh, Legolas, you're the hottest guy on the planet, and you must marry me now," Vanessa says dramatically, putting her hands on her heart, and trying to look as drippy as possible.
Now it was Kimberly's turn to laugh. "Yeah Ness." She puts on a fan-girl type face. "Legolas, you are so cute, be my soul mate forever and ever." They both had to stop walking to laugh. After the laugh fest stopped, they resumed their walking. Kimberly looks into her purse, and pulls out an open box of Goobers. "Want some, Ness?" She hands the box over to Vanessa. She takes a few, then hands the box back to Kimberly.
"Why did you get so much candy?" Vanessa asks, after finishing her mouthful.
"When's the next time that theater's EVER going to have candy half price? That stuff was cheap, so I stocked up. Besides, you got a candy bar and some packages of Pop Rocks, so where are you to nag?" Kimberly grins, and throws more Goobers into her mouth.
"Big difference between all that stuff you got, compared to a Milky Way and Pop Rocks. I mean, when are you even going to need two boxes of Goobers, a bag of Lemon Heads, three bags of Sour Patch Kids, and two bags of mini chocolate bars?" Vanessa asks Kimberly, right before sticking her tongue out in a raspberry.
"Next time I need a sugar rush?" Kimberly grins, and shows off her chocolate covered teeth.
They walk for a few minutes before Kimberly stops and points to a store. "Look Ness, a used book store that's having a grand opening. Let's go in." Kimberly walks through the door before Vanessa even answers, so Vanessa just follows her.
They browse for a few minutes more before Kimberly calls to Vanessa from a row way in the back of the store. "It's a section devoted just to J. J. R. Tolkien. They even have the history of Middle Earth series." She starts grabbing up books left and right, checking prices to make sure that all the book really were a dollar, just like the sign said.
"Ooh, I was looking for a good copy of The Hobbit," Vanessa says, as she grabs a beautiful hardcover copy off the shelf.
"Wow, let me see that. It looks gorgeous," Kimberly puts her hand on the cover, just as Vanessa opens the book. Kimberly looks up from the book just in time to see the shop fade away, and then to fall unconscious.
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The fellowship is traveling along the road, when suddenly, they see two blond girls fall out of the air. They hit the ground, and still don't wake up. They gather around the pile of girl, and Legolas pokes one of them with his bow. She stirs, muttering something about not wanting to go to school, but doesn't wake up. Legolas steps back and shrugs.
"We can't just leave them," Frodo says, knowing that the group already knew this.
"Yeah, they could be eaten by orcs, or trolls, or some other awful creature." Sam shudders at the image of all the things that could get these poor girls.
Just then, one of the girls, the one with the streaked blond hair, rolls over and moans. She opens her eyes, blinks a few times, then says "Oh, I'm still asleep, okay," and grins. She rolls over and nudges the other blond girl. "Ness, hey Ness. Wake up. I'm having the coolest dream about the fellowship."
The other blond girl, Vanessa, then rolls over, and opens her eyes. "Ooh, neat, it's Legolas. Cool dream Kimmy." The two girls then do a double take worthy of a cartoon, and stare, slack-jawed, at the fellowship surrounding them.
"Ok, since when is the movie in 3D?" Kimberly asks, still staring, her eyes as wide as they can go.
"I have no idea, but they're doing it without the glasses." Vanessa's eyes are just as big as Kimberly's.
Then Merry, confused at these statements, steps towards the two strange blonds. They scream, and back up quickly, holding onto each other as if for dear life.
Aragorn then steps up. "We mean you no harm. Be at ease," he says, putting his hand out, showing that he was friendly.
Kimberly, unable to shut up, ever, says, "Yeah, try saying that without a sword in your belt and a group of equally-armed people behind you." She realizes that she's talking to the illusion, and shuts her mouth immediately.
The group looks at each other, and then Legolas puts down his bow, and Aragorn puts down his sword, and everybody else puts down their weapons. The girls stared at the pile of weapons for a few moments, then stood up. "Ok, so you come in peace then." Kimberly stares at Vanessa, and they both start giggling, for some completely unknown reason.
Pippin, confused yet again by these strange girls, asks "Why are you laughing?"
Kimberly and Vanessa says, almost in unison, "Because I just went crazy." They look over at each other. "Not you, me," they say, once again almost in unison.
Pippin steps forward, and offers his suggestion, just to get them to quit talking in almost unison, cuz that's just plain freaky. "How about you both be crazy?" The two girls stare over at him, look at each other, and then say, for the last time hopefully, in unison, "Okay."
"Good, now with that settled, why don't you both tell us who you are, and what you were doing falling out of the sky like that?" Boromir says, finally showing up in the story.
Deciding that crazy didn't feel too much different from not crazy, Kimberly spoke for the both of them. "Well, I'm Kimberly, this is Vanessa, and we are so lost that we're in a book."
"Book?" pretty much everybody says, getting more confused by the minute.
"Yeah," Vanessa says, finally coming out of her 'way too weird' haze. "You guys are characters in a book, or three books actually, written by J. J. R. Tolkien. You don't already know that?" Now it was Vanessa's turn to look confused.
"How can we be in a book if we're right here?" the dwarf asked, the author making sure to put all the characters into the story.
"That, we're still trying to figure out." Kimberly brushes herself off, and Vanessa starts to, as well. That was when the author decided to butt in one last time to describe the main characters.
Kimberly was somewhat tall, and with her five foot five height, she towered over the hobbits, well, almost. Her blond hair went slightly past her shoulders, almost but not quite in Jennifer Aniston's haircut. It was streaked, and obviously a dye job, not that any of the fellowship knew what that was. And she was wearing some of the strangest clothing they had ever seen. She had on a fitted tee that was made out of camaflouge material, and it had written in white letteing 'Ha! Now You Can't See Me'. Her jeans were dark blue, and she had shoes on that confused everybody. They were black platforms, two-inch heel at least, with straps across the feet, and small roses engraved in the leather. The one thing they did recognize was the thing around her neck. It was a necklace strung with blue and white stones and beads.
As for Vanessa, her five foot six height had her almost towering over the hobbits as well. She had blond hair that went down past her waist, and many strands were braided and colored green. She was wearing jeans like Kimberly, only hers were dyed green. Her white spagettii strap t-shirt was covered by her green jacket. It was a knitted-looking duster, that ended about mid-thigh. Her black leather work boots were somewhat covered in mud, because she had never bothered cleaning them off last time her and Kimberly had been stuck walking home in the rain. And around her neck was an almost exact replica of Kimberly's necklace, except where Kimberly's beads had been blue, Vanessa's were green.
"You still sure we arn't just in an insane asylum somewhere?" Kimberly asks, coming to the only conclusion that could be possible.
"It must have been magic, it had to have been," Gandalf declares.
"Magic? Okay, so wouldn't that mean that we're really here?" Vanessa's eyes grow large again, and Kimberly's eyes go all wide, too.
"And... I gotta think about this one," Kimberly says, before falling down with her back against a tree. Vanessa plops down next to her. They start up a whispered conversation.
"What the hell are we going to do?" Kimberly.
"Well, we can't exactly take the bus home," Vanessa.
"Lets just hijack a wizard, and tell him to send us home, now," Kimberly.
A look of relisiation comes over Vanessa. "Waaaaaaaait one minute here. Do you relise where we are? We're in Middle Earth." Vanessa's face twists into a maniacly happy face. She looks over at Kimberly.
"And?" Just then, Kimberly understands what Vanessa is hinting at. They look over at each other, and say, for the last time, the author swears, in unison, "Legolas!"
Legolas looks over at the odd girls, "What?"
They giggle. "Nothing," Kimberly says, as innocently as she can. They both grin innocently.
"We decided to stay and not freak," Vanessa told Gandalf. "Promise."
"Yeah, promise," Kimberly says seconds later. Just then, Kimberly relizes that her purse had been thrown elsewhere when her and Vanessa had landed. "Where's my purse?" Vanessa shrugs her shoulders, and starts searching the ground for the missing messenger bag-looking purse. Then Kimberly looks over to where the mischevieous hobbits were, and spots her purse, with Merry and Pippin about to dig through it.
"Hey! Hey! What are you doing in my purse?" Kimberly yells at the two curious hobbits. She yanks it away from them, just after they pull out a plastic bag filled with candy. Vanessa stares over at Kimberly, and she shrugs. "What? I don't want them to go loosing my library card or something." Kimberly grabs at the bag of candy, but misses as the hobbits catch it.
Vanessa laughs, and Kimberly sticks her tongue out at her friend.
"What are these colorful things?" Pippin asks.
"And can you eat them?" Merry says immediately after.
"It's candy, and no, you can't eat it, cuz it's my candy. Give it." She tries to take the candy, but just rips open the bag, spilling a few Lemon Heads. Merry and Pippin grab the little sour balls before they even hit the ground. Pippin pops one into his mouth, and makes a sour face. Merry laughs at him, but then pops one into his own mouth anyway. He almost mimics the sour face Pippin used just a few seconds ago.
Curious, Frodo walks over and pops one into his mouth. He spits it out a few seconds later. "What in the Middle Earth was that?" he asks, a disgusted look on his face.
"Lemon Heads. And they taste good, they're just an... acquired taste, is all." She reaches over to where her purse lies, and grabs a bag full of mini chocolate bars. "Now these aren't sour. It's chocolate. Really good chocolate, not that cheap crap." She unwraps a bar, and hands it over to Frodo. He puts it in his mouth, and makes an 'mmm' noise almost immediately.
"Now that was good." He then proceeds to lick the melted chocolate off his fingers. All the others rush forward, wanting to try this 'new discovery'.
"Incredible," Gandalf mutters, licking the wrapper.
"Amazing," Legolas says through a mouthful of chocolate.
And as for the two hungry hobbits, they alternate eating the Lemon Heads and the chocolate.
Kimberly rolls her eyes, and Vanessa sighs. "They have junk food for two seconds, and already they're pigging out." Vanessa giggles at this.
Pippin, wondering if Kimberly had any more food in her purse, snatches it from where it lay by her feet. He takes it back over to Merry, and they start rumaging through it again. They take out a tube of lip balm, and try to figure out how to get it open. Merry pulls on the cap by accident, and they imediately smell the strong scent of something yummy. Merry takes a bite out of it, but spits it out immediately. "That is NOT food!" he almost yells. Kimberly sees them and rushes over, taking her purse away from them again, making sure to keep an eye on it this time. She makes a disgusted face when she sees what Merry had done. "That was my favorite lip balm." She looks at them angrily. "You couldn't have ate the cherry one? No, you had to eat, or try to eat, the pink lemonade one." She takes the tube out of Merry's hand. This time she makes an even bigger disgusted face. "Eww, now its ruined. Here, if I give you chocolate covered peanuts, will you leave my purse alone?" She hands over the full box of Goobers, and can't help but laugh when they dig into the box to get the yummy goodness inside. She smiles, and say "All's forgiven," but the hobbits can barely hear her over the din of the hobbit feeding time.
She then looks over at Vanessa, who seems to be having a very animated discussion with Legolas. She walks over to them.
"So then the bowstring broke, and it cut my neck all up. And I went home and told my mom that my bow broke, and I was so sad, and she was all like 'You're bleeding' and I hadn't even noticed until then," Vanessa finishes, and they both laugh. Kimberly rolls her eyes, and walks over to Aragorn.
"Wern't you guys supposed to be going somewhere?" she asks Aragorn.
"Ahh, yes, we had better get going, it will be night soon." Aragorn then starts walking the way they had been before the two blonds fell out of the sky.
"Would you like to join us, Vanessa?" Legolas asks her.
"I'd love to," Vanessa replies, and grins wildly.
The others all catch up with Aragorn, save Frodo, who stays behind with Kimberly. "You can come too, if you'd like?" Frodo looks over at Kimberly as he asks.
"Why, I'd be delighted," Kimberly says, in a sarcastic tone which Frodo doesn't catch.