This fic was born out of a challenge issued at Han Solo and the Princess. Special thanks to my wonderful beta readers!
The challenge was to write a fic based around theme of: ""History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark." The requirements were:
It must be set during a ground battle that takes place ANY time before ESB.
2) Han and Leia are not physically allowed in to the battle. For whatever reasons you might concoct. They can be on the same planet, in the same area but they are physically not allowed to participate. They CAN however, see/hear the battle.
3) Han's decision to stay that Leia refers to in ESB must be made during the course of this fic. And he has to let her know.
4) Leia must wear Han's clothing at some point in time. Can be for the entire fic, can be only a brief scene. That's up to you. Not just a jacket. Pants, shirt and boots. And now, it doesn't have to be the set he's currently wearing. It can be a spare.
5) It must be AU in some way, shape or form. Meaning that the fic has to somehow contradict the movies somehow.
Battles
"I hate this," Han remarked suddenly, stretching his long legs in front of him to rest on the table before him in a decidedly undignified manner.
"Curbing your impulse for suicide, you mean?" Leia tried to keep her tone casual, but she was certain the tension in her posture would betray her. Outside, the battle waging between two Imperial ground walkers and several hundred Rebellion ships was silent to her ears, but no less effectual.
He waved a hand dismissively. "That ain't suicide. They've got those Imps outnumbered ten to one. That's the kind of battle I like to be a part of."
"You've got your orders from Dodonna," she reminded him sharply, then softened her tone, realizing he must feel just as frustrated with the situation as she did. "He thought he was doing you a favour by giving you a break."
He shrugged. "I don't take orders well, Your Highness."
"So I've noticed." She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so utterly helpless. The confrontation was too far away for her to tell if there had been any casualties, yet she felt unable to draw her attention away from it.
"Well, Your Worship, how shall we pass the time?"
She turned to fix him with an incredulous stare. "In case you haven't noticed, our friends are out in the middle of a battlefield right now."
"And you worryin' won't help anything. C'mon." He patted the seat beside her. "Sit down."
She knew he was right, yet at the same time she hated him for being so damned perceptive all the time. She forced herself to turn away from the action outside and back to the sterile surroundings of the Rebellion base. It was their third one in as many years, and it felt like each planet got more and more uninhabitable. She flopped down on the graying couch beside Han and sighed. "What I wouldn't give to be back out there." The military fatigues she wore were prickling her skin and she shoved the sleeves back up over her elbows. The clothes had belonged to Han, a long time ago – before the autovalet druid had malfunctioned and shrunk them down to her size and he had given them to her as a "gift for the tiniest person on base". She suddenly realized, rather uncomfortably, that she wore them more often than any of the other outfits she owned. There was something about being in his clothes that felt deliciously intimate that she didn't quite want to acknowledge just yet.
Han's voice startled her out of his thoughts. "You heard the old man. Jedi are too precious to risk. As opposed to us mere mortals."
She knew he was being sarcastic, but his comment irked her. "Very funny," she muttered. "I'm not…anything yet. Rieekan just wants me to start training as one shortly." Somehow she hated the idea of being above anyone, of them looking at her skills in awe and reverence. She dealt with it enough on a daily basis as a Rebel leader from the military personnel, but thankfully never from the man next to her.
She turned to look at him. Dressed in military fatigues, he still looked as annoyingly handsome as ever, his casual posture emphasizing his lanky frame. Needing to take her mind off what was going on outside, she allowed her eyes to wander from the curve of his jaw line to the perceptible outline of his larynx, back down to his defined forearms exposed by his tailored shirt and calloused hands fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. She suddenly found herself imagining those roughened hands on her face, her body, caressing her skin, bringing her to heights of unknown pleasure…
"You okay?'
The fantasy ended as abruptly as it had started, and she looked away, embarrassed at his inquiry. At least he doesn't have Jedi mind powers. "Just thinking."
"About…."
How good you would look spread out on that kaffe table right now. "You haven't told anyone what I told you, have you?"
"Who the hell would I tell?"
"Good." She hadn't even meant to tell him. It had just happened to be that he was the one to find her, broken and weeping on the floor when Rieekan had informed her of Luke's fate at the hands of Vader. That he had been the one who had found her after Obi-Wan's ghost had appeared to her and told her her path. Her destiny. Like she had never even gotten a chance to decide it for herself. Well, she thought bitterly, Luke never got a chance to decide much for himself either.
"You ever feel…" She paused, considering her next words carefully. "Like no matter how many people there are around you, no matter how many planets and how many species, you're completely alone in the galaxy?"
"All the time, sweetheart. Especially since – " He broke off abruptly, but she knew what he was about to say. Since Chewie. Han had never spoken about the Wookiee much since that night, but she knew he had never forgiven himself for suggesting that Chewie accompany Luke on his quest to find Vader, to "protect" him. He attempted a half-hearted grin. "But, it's not so bad. No one to depend on, no one to tell you what to do. Just you and the galaxy at your feet."
"That's easy for you to say. You don't have some destiny tied down with you."
"No one says you have to follow what those bigheads tell you. You make your own choices, Leia. Not anyone else." He leaned forward suddenly, a gleam in his eye. "How 'bout we take the Falcon, you and me, and we get out of here and make it rich together? Business partners and lovers – think about it."
She laughed out loud. Something about the idea of cruising around the galaxy with Han Solo for a co-pilot, letting him warm her bed by night and negotiate business contracts by day was ridiculously appealing. "Your business contacts and my Jedi mind tricks – "
He cocked an eyebrow. "We'd made a formidable team."
"You wouldn't be allowed to play any of that awful Merkus Slaten junk during the flying though."
"Hey! Those are classics."
She punched his shoulder playfully, and he casually threw an arm over her shoulder. She leaned against the curve of his shoulder and allowed herself to indulge in the moment, however briefly. Somehow it felt right, her body curled against his warmth, his arm nestled against her back. He moved his mouth to her ear and she shuddered as she felt his baritone voice resonate through her. "We'd definitely be more of a…night-time operation team though."
She looked up back at him, and before she could react, his mouth was on hers, hard and fervent against her own and she was kissing him back with matched passion. Her fingers were pushing their way through his hair, one hand was on the small of her back steadying her, and the other was sliding through her unbound hair. She locked her hands against the back of his neck and drew him closer to her, their mouths hungrily searching. And then he was pulling her into his lap, her legs were straddling his hips and she could feel his desire beneath her, willing to take her at that moment.
She broke away from the embrace suddenly, the reality of her situation crashing down on her with the force of an asteroid. "I can't."
As if he hadn't heard her, he pulled her to him again and placed his mouth on her neck to trail kisses down the length of it. She shivered momentarily under his practiced touch, but pushed him away again, pulling herself off his lap. She drew several deep breaths, willing her body to calm down. "Han, it's not safe. For anyone involved with me…Vader knows that. He'll use anyone to get close to me."
He stared at her a long moment, his dark eyes betraying no sympathy. "Since when did I ever like life being easy, sweetheart?"
She shook her head. "You don't understand. Being with me is asking for tragedy. You saw what happened to Luke. What makes you think I'll be any different?" She didn't want to drag him into this, to let him fall in love with someone doomed to end up another one of the countless bodies lost in the galactic war.
"Listen, Leia…" He paused, searching for the right words. "Sweetheart, you're the strongest person I've met in a long time. The first good thing I ever saw in this damned galaxy. The first pure thing I ever encountered. And if you think I'm gonna let you face this alone, then you've got another thing coming."
Her shoulders sagged with relief. Here was someone who believed in her, despite everything he had seen, despite everything he knew about her. Someone who believed in her because of her, not because she happened to have some midichlorian count inside of her that she had neither known nor cared about until recently.
Han Solo had always been stubborn, she realized. She just had never considered the possibility that his stubbornness could be used for her sake as well.
He pulled her back into his lap, and she curled her arms around his neck, laying her head against his shoulder. "What would you decide if you were told the fate of the galaxy rested in your hands?" she asked quietly.
His voice was a low rumble in her ear. "I'd find something to do with my hands."
She laughed and he pulled her closer to him, rubbing his hands up and down the military fatigues she wore. For the first time in a long time, she felt at peace with herself and the path that lay before her. Whatever the future holds, having Han Solo by my side is going to make it a hell of a lot easier.