Summary: Sometimes she wondered why she cared for him. Especially when it was so obvious that he wanted nothing to do with her or anything she loved. (Wally/Kuki) Slight spoilers from Operation: ZERO
Author's Note: Just my ramblings on why Kuki might love Wally. That's it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Codename: Kids Next Door. Please stop asking me if I do; you're making me depressed...
Aussie
Sometimes she wondered why she cared for him.
It really didn't make such sense to the others, to her family, to herself, to care for someone who seemed to hate her. Obviously if he hated her, treated her badly, and called her 'cruddy', then there was no point to care for him, especially since she knew how he would respond to her kindness. But sometimes she wondered if he really did hate her or if it was all an act. If it was, then he was a much better actor than the world gave him credit for; andif he was just acting – if there was a chance that he felt the slightest bits of friendship for her – then it was worth smiling at him. At least to her.
She liked smiling and laughing and finding cheerful things that inhabited her world. Every little thing she found, those small, amazing creatures and parts of nature that people never gave a second thought to, filled her with wonder and left her awe-struck and breathless. She lived to discover the small, unmentioned, un-thought of details of her planet, then take a step back and look at the bigger picture. And because of her examination of all the minuscule pieces, she understood and loved the whole thing that much more.
She figured that it was that quality that enabled her to like him.
You see, she had picked and prodded at him, judging his reactions, watching his own actions, memorizing his flaws and realizing his colourful nature and she had spent hours (an enormous amount of time for a kid) trying to figure him out. Then, he turned around and did something so totally unlike him that she almost gave up hope entirely and resigned herself to the fact that he was an enigma that one might never crack. Almost. But she was nothing if not stubborn, and so she just kept note of his surprising move and just continued trying to solve the puzzle that was Numbuh 4. It might take a lifetime, but hey! It was worth it.
She noticed how his snarls and snaps never seemed as sharp and biting when they were directed towards his friends or family. She saw how his eyes (the few times when they weren't covered by his mess of bangs) brightened ever so slightly when people he cared about walked into the room and how well he and Numbuh 2 got along. Obviously if he had a best friend like the overly-enthusiastic pilot, then he must be a good person. The passion that glowed from him as he fought, talked, moved, lived, at times was almost blinding and it was always awesome to know someone like him, someone who had that much zeal for life.
He was protective of those he cared about, she quickly realized. She supposed that's why she thought that his dislike for her was all a big act. He was very protective of her, and often shouted at her when she stepped into unnecessary danger and he never let her live down the fact that he had saved her butt more times than he could count. Not that he was very good at math anyways. His academic smarts wasn't one of his strong points. But whatever; she knew that he was the best fighter she'd ever seen. And to her, knowing that he was fighting next to her made her feel safer than she ever did when she was without him.
He could be good at school. She knew that he could be if he really wanted to. He was good at anything he really cared about. He loved to fight and break things, so he was the best person around at beating people and smashing things. He loved those video games of his and he had the top score in nearly all of them. He knew exactly how to destroy all the different types of bullies and the best way to bug Numbuhs 1 and 5. Anything he wanted to win at he could. And in that way, he was a genius. At least to her. So if he ever suddenly got a passion for being an A student, he would succeed. It just might take a little bit of work.
She noticed that he was a softie deep inside. She saw how he loved his little brother and she saw that he always let Numbuh 2 have his way... after the third hour of video games and a small guilt trip. She watched him when he bought Numbuh 5's 'girly' magazines and how he often stayed away from the 'Lizzie Topic' when arguing with Numbuh 1.
She knew that he didn't save her from King Sandy because she owed him a quarter.
At least, she was pretty sure she didn't owe him anything. Though, for all she knew, she could. She was kind of forgetful that way and he could always hold a grudge. But any time she started to wonder of that was really the only reason he rescued her, she remembered how he tried to comfort her after the Spring Play.
It really was his fault that the play was ruined, she told herself. But a part of her said that the Delightful Children From Down The Lane would have ruined it whether he had done it first or not. Still, she did hold it against him. Just a little. But at the same time she really did appreciate that he had tried to sing her duet with her. And she did laugh about it later because the song had symbolized nearly everything he hated – cute, cuddly, adorable and sweet. It really was funny hearing him say (because there wouldn't have been any way on earth to get him to sing it) the words to the most mushy song in the whole romantic play in his absolutely adorable Australian accent. She imagined that she'd giggle over that years from now.
Sometimes when she couldn't sleep, or had woken from a super scary dream, she would sneak into his room. It wasn't often when he would let her sleep with him, only those few times when thunder or lighting would sound outside (one of the few things she knew he was secretly afraid of), but when he did, she knew that nothing bad could ever hurt her because he was there. And nothing could get by him. Even when he didn't let her (and by now, she could usually tell when he would and wouldn't by the kind of day he had had), she would just watch him sleep and enjoy the peace that he brought her. Sometimes she would wake up in his room and she would have to sneak out of his room before she was found out.
When they were turned into zombies, and both were old and ugly, even then she had felt safe with him by her side. He protected her, even if they were evil. That had never changed, and, in a way, she suspected that it never would.
She couldn't have ever been able to explain though what possessed her to kiss him. She just felt this undeniable need to make him like her, to be with him, and now that she had this brand new zombie confidence, well, why not do it with a kiss. It had always been a secret desire of hers to kiss him, why not fulfill it. So she had. And then, when they were adults (senior citi-zombies though they may have been) she had suddenly understood him all the more. That, as a kid, he was frightened, and so, he hid. He hid behind a mask of anger and false-courage, that would break apart every now and again. Those times when he did something so out of character would be when the mask would crack and that frightened boy who loved so much would appear.
That was not to say, of course, that Numbuh 4, the tough, easily angered Aussie, wasn't who he really was. There was just another part to him, just like her own anger problems. They really were true opposites, she thought to herself sometimes.
Maybe, the whole reason she smiled at him, she cared for him, she loved him (as much as any ten year old can love – and some would argue that love can appear at any age) was because she felt safe with him. Even when he was at his most vulnerable, he protected her, and kept her safe. And when he couldn't take care of something, then she always could; she could always fill in the missing parts and together they made a whole. Maybe that was the reason that he fascinated her. Because she wanted to know what it was about him that made her feel complete. Because, maybe, if she could figure out what he was, then she could discover what she wasn't.
But, at ten, one can't know that, and so, she merely wondered and attempted to figure it out on her own. And maybe, one day, she would know what it was about him that entranced her. Until then, she would be content with the feeling of safety that came with watching.
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