Disclaimer: I don't own DB/Z/GT.

A/N: This is a product of my immense boredum.

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better:

"I can do anything better than you! No you can't! Yes I can! No you can't! Yes I can! No you can't! Yes I can! Yes I can!"

Bulma sighed and took another sip of her afternoon coffee. She knew she was going to be pulling another all-nighter with her scientific experiments and such… she sighed once more. She could really use some excitement in her life right about now. I sense a cue coming on…

Vegeta barged into the kitchen, swinging the door so hard it slammed into the wall and chipped off a bit of drywall. Bulma shook her head and sighed again.

"If you keep this shit up much longer, I'm going to start charging you! Be careful when you open the door, Vegeta!" Bulma chastised, taking another sip of her coffee. 'Think nice thoughts, Bulma. Be calm. Ignore the arrogant prick standing right in front of you with his arms crossed. Ignore his annoyed expression… ignore his bulging, sweaty muscles…'

"Woman! I am taking a break from training! I demand you make me some sustenance this instant!" Vegeta commanded, tapping his foot impatiently.

'Stay calm, Bulma, stay absolutely calm…' she thought.

"I don't have all damn day, woman!" Vegeta snapped irritatedly.

Bulma's eyebrow twitched and her face became red with annoyance. 'Oh to hell with calm!' she thought.

"Make your own food! What do I look like, your slave? Need I remind you that I'm graciously allowing you to live under my roof?" Bulma argued.

Vegeta slammed his fist on the kitchen table. "Need I remind you that I am the Prince of all Saiyans? Need I remind you how powerful I am? Need I remind you that at any moment I can crush you like the little, insignificant bug that you are? Quite simply, woman, you are inferior to me! So, I suggest you make me my damn food this instant before I decide to be rid of you!"

'That male chauvinistic pig!' Bulma thought angrily. "Now you listen to me, mister high and mighty! I am most certainly not inferior to the likes of you! In fact, I'm superior to you!"

"Ha!" Vegeta laughed, "Oh really?"

Bulma backed her chair out and stood up erect and proud. She smirked and replied, "As a matter of fact, yes!"

She walked fearlessly up to Vegeta and prodded him in the chest with her index finger. "I am more intelligent than you could ever wish to be! I am more attractive than you! I have way more friends than you do… oh wait… you don't have any! I'm loved and you're hated!"

Bulma laughed and circled around Vegeta like a predator would its prey. "In fact, I'm treated more like nobility than you are, dear Prince! My skin is so much softer than yours. I'm not constantly having a bad hair day like you are! I cook better than you do!"

"Seriously, woman, why the hell would it matter if you cook better than I do? I don't need to cook! I have you to do that for me, and might I add, you're terrible at it!" Vegeta replied sardonically.

Bulma huffed and crossed her arms. "It still counts!"

"I couldn't give a flying fuck about all of the things you've mentioned!" Vegeta argued.

Bulma raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Oh really?" She made a point of looking him up and down, from head to toe. "Tsk, tsk… did I mention that I have a much hotter body than you," she said, trying to conceal her blush.

Vegeta actually seemed to be taken aback for a split-second. He smirked and replied, "So you're admitting that I'm hot?"

Bulma blushed a bright crimson shade of red. "N – no!" she stammered. "I'm just sexier than you could ever be, that's all!"

Vegeta narrowed his eyes and moved closer to her. "Really?" he asked, tugging at the collar of her shirt. "Why don't you let me judge for myself?"

Bulma shoved him away and fanned her face. 'Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?' she thought, but nevertheless, she shouted, "I'm not finished yet! Now, let's discuss your attributes… hmm… what are you superior at, Vegeta? Oh yes, you're superior at being an arrogant jackass!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Stupid, prudish earth woman…" he muttered.

Bulma glared at Vegeta resentfully. 'I'll show him!' she thought angrily. "You know what else? I look way better in the color pink than you do!"

It was Vegeta's turn to blush. Bulma laughed at him. She got up in his face and asked, "And do you want to know the worst part?"

Vegeta narrowed his eyes and said, "What?"

She playfully poked him on the tip of his nose with her finger. He grunted and swatted her hand away like a fly. She smiled coyly and said, "This prudish, inferior earth woman is way the hell better in bed than you will ever be!"

Vegeta's eyes widened in astonishment and he laughed scathingly. He pushed Bulma atop the kitchen table. She gasped as her back came crashing onto the table with a loud thump. She was about to yell at him, but her shout of, "Hey!" was soon quelled as her attention was drawn elsewhere when she felt Vegeta's hot, bated breath on her sensitive neck. He put his mouth up to her ear. "Like hell you are," he hissed, tugging at the belt buckle on her blue jeans.

"We'll see about that!" she challenged.

A/N: So… who won?