Title: Endearment
Author: Skylarcat
Classification: MSR
Rating: PG
Feedback: Yes, please.
Summary: Within a storm a confession is made.
Note: Scully and Mulder are characters that belong to Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen Productions. Yes, I have used them without permission. However, no copyright infringement is intended.
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Something is brewing with every dark, malevolent cloud that floats along like sailboats upon the sea. Something is churning, the deep rumbling of the unexpected making its presence known. What is this forming within the sky, an act of nature, a miracle, the hand of fate, or perhaps a mixture of the three?
Then it begins with one bolt of lightning shooting across the sky like cupid's arrow. It flickers only once, its zigzag of electricity simmering and then sizzles, fading into the blues and greens of the unknown. And then a sudden crack and skies open and heavens weep. The Gods were crying for all that was lost and for all that could be gained. The clouds were rolling and combining blues and greens mixing with hues of pinks and golds.
An act of nature, a miracle, or perhaps fate; all prospects given birth to by one small bolt. In the middle of such a storm a chance was being rendered. And in the center of a massive downpour stood two FBI Agents.
She is standing still, in spite of the rain, unable to escape from its slippery grip. Her hair billows at her neck from the droplets that hang merciless upon the soft crimson waves. She is unsure if she has heard his words correctly and attempts to read him. Her piercing blue eyes burning through his hazel ones, not finding answers, only the fear and passion that resides there. The rain is pounding and comes down more raptly now soaking her clothes until they contort and twist from the weight of absorbed liquid.
"What did you say?" She asks. Her lips tremble from the damp coldness, but she needs to hear his words, she needs to know.
He is standing before her completely soaking wet and shaking, but he too, appears to not mind the rain. Water descends across his mahogany brow and lingers and she is tempted to gently brush the raindrop away with her fingers, but opts to stand still instead.
He is conflicted. She can tell by the narrowing of his brows to the clutching of his jaw. And for a moment she wonders if he will repeat what he had said or if the words would be lost within the storm.
He is radiant and silver in the storm. Magnificent and beautiful. She loves when he looks like this, so strong, so determined. And like the storm they are standing in the middle of, Fox Mulder is a force to be reckoned with.
In the distance thunder bellows and then returns to silence. And then the soft raspy tone of his voice can be heard over the pulsating rain. "I said..." He pauses bringing his hands out in front of him as though their swirling motion could create the words that are lost on the tip on his tongue. He relents and his arms return to his sides. "I said I love you."
Her eyes widen and mouth comes slightly ajar from hearing his confession. Who knew such small words could contain so much power. She sighs feeling the words breathing life back into her heart. As much as she wants this she knows she has to resist.
"Mulder," she starts but the words elude her and she is unable to continue.
But he's reaching for her now and she knows it's too late to escape as his tan hands encompass her small delicate ones, rooting her into place.
"I don't know how to tell you this or how I'm ever going to find the words, but I do know if I allow this moment to pass by I will never be able to forgive myself."
The words spill from his soul and she knows she should stop him, forbid him to continue. It's a boundary that neither of them should ever cross. Yet, part of her wants to hear his confession, embrace it, and ultimately return it. A piece of her wants to cross that boundary, run with it, and never look back. And it's this part of her that allows her to remain silent as he continues.
He's weary she notes as he stands in the pouring rain. She's surprise that he can find the courage and strength to continue. His words echo through the mist of water and humidity and she listens incapable of anything else.
"Scully, I thought I had my whole life figured out. I was so lost and didn't believe there was any hope for me. But you entered in my life, beautiful, rational. You took my breath away and offered me hope. You saved me. You continue to save me. And I cannot go on another moment without telling you that I love you. I loved you from the start and I will continue to love you till the end."
She knows he's scared, afraid of how she will respond to his confession. But she's scared as well. She's terrified of what admitting her feelings could do to them. She can deny her heart this passion, this man... she would have too. Though desperate to give Mulder her heart, she has to rationalize the consequences of such an action. For allowing him entrance would be admitting to a weakness, a need for him and this would render her heart vulnerable. Even being armed with such logic, she knew the truth. Mulder could never hurt her.
And yet she knows she has to flee. Pulling her hands away from his she turns to run. But what is it that she's running from? The rain? Mulder? The truth? And even as her feet pound across the soggy ground she can feel him at her heels. Of course he was at her heels. He would follow her anywhere even to the ends of the earth if he had to and this time was no different. As she reaches the riverbank she knows there is nowhere left to run and she turns to face him.
He looks broken and it pains her to see him that way. Yet, she recognizes determination in those deep hazel eyes. He isn't ready to give up the fight.
"I know a lot of things Scully, but I don't know how to leave you. I don't know how to let you go. To look into your eyes and know it was for the last time would destroy me. I'm completely lost without you. I need you. Scully, I can't make it without you. But if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me I will let you go."
The encumbering rain hides the tears that fall down her cheeks. And she stares at Mulder seeing the man he has become, the man she secretly loves, the man who has seen her through countless hardships, the man who helped her through times of remorse, the man who was there to catch her when she fell. She loves him. How could she continue to deny Mulder the truth, deny her heart a chance at love. She could lie to herself but she could never lie to him and as she stares into his passionate eyes she reaches a decision.
"Mulder, I cannot do this anymore. I cannot pretend that my heart doesn't feel what it feels. The truth is that I'm hopelessly, desperately, and madly in love with you and have been for sometime. I'll just been so damn scared to admit it. But I will not deny it any longer."
His eyes flicker with joy and she smiles up at him. There would be no turning back for them not when they have come so far. And as he takes the first step over this boundary she feels her heel give way under the moist ground. He reaches for her, his fingers only grasping air and she can see the look of pure horror in his eyes, but it's too late for she starts her descend into the watery grave.
The water is ice cold. That's her first thought as she resurfaces and struggles for air. Her tiring arms fight to keep her small body afloat but the current is too strong and she goes under once more. She manages the strength to break the water's surface and sees that Mulder has joined her in the water. He's desperately trying to reach her but the river's current is a force to be reckoned with. She knows that Mulder is an excellent swimmer and all she has to do is hold on till he reaches her. But her body has become weak from the effort and she cannot continue to stay afloat. She takes one last breath and allows herself to sink under knowing that she will not be able to resurface. The water is playing a game of tug and war with her limbs and she's unable to fight it. The water is suffocating and she closes her eyes knowing this is the end. She almost had it all.
She can feel the pressure as it builds inside her chest and then her lungs open filling with air. Her eyes flutter like butterfly wings awaiting flight and in a moment they open, wide with life. And through the falling rain she sees Mulder bending over her in deep concern. She knows it was Mulder who saved her. He breathed life back into her, literally as well as metaphorically speaking. He had been breathing life back into her since their first meeting. She reaches for his shoulders pulling his face close to her lips.
"I had you big time." She whispers seductively, recalling another moment in which Mulder had restored her back to life saving her from the snowy grave of Antarctica as well as from an unknown virus carried by bees. And he would continue to save her.
His smile is the only invitation she needs as she pulls his face to hers brushing her lips over his. The kiss begins gentle almost experimental. Her lips of silk tremble under the first taste of his lips of velvet and the kiss intensifies with the need for more. The kiss ends way too soon but as their lips break the rain subsides. And as though Heaven is smiling down upon them the sky is suddenly alive with the bright colors of a passing rainbow.
"This is the start of something big, Scully." He announces as he reaches his hand down to her.
She smiles and takes his offering, placing her small hand within the confinement of his. "Shut-up Mulder. You had me at 'Nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted'." The sound of his soft chuckle comforts and fills her heart. As he leans in to kiss her one more time she closes her eyes feeling the soft caress of his lips.
He takes her hand and together they cross the wet field to where their rental Taurus awaits and she knows this is the start of a beautiful love affair, a love affair that all would remember. It would be the kind that moved mountains and united worlds. Unbreakable. Strong. And would be passed down from generation to generation as the love that saved the world.
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The end.