Here is the Christmas Special.
Now, on with the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
Dear Santa
Dear Santa,
Okay, let get this over with, because I still have a lot of paperwork to do, and Matsumoto will never touch any of them. Damn that lazy woman. I wonder how on Soul Society that she made it to the fukutaicho rank?!
Anyway, like every year, I write you a letter. And I warn you, if I still don't get what I want like every other year, I will go Hyorinmaru on your arse.
And I'm not threatening you, remember that.
Right, let's start, shall we?
You know, I'm a very good kid this year (yes, I admit that I'm a kid. So what?). I finished every paperwork that belonged to me, and some of those paperwork that belonged to Matsumoto. The rest of her paperwork had been burnt down mysteriously, and I still don't have a clue who did that.
No. I'm not the one who burnt them. I mean, my element is ice, not fire…
Back to the matter. Not only I finished the paperwork like a good taicho I am, I also succeeded in every mission that had been assigned to me this year. Except for that mission on February 16. And the one on May 25. And the one on July 11. I blamed them for Matsumoto. It was her fault that I failed in those missions.
I also looked after Kusajishi when Zaraki had to stay in Yonbantai. Even though she burnt down the entire Junibantai, I still had done a good deed to look after her. It was not my fault that she took my… little advice seriously, right?!
Right!
Oh, and about that website… Let just pretend that I'm not the one who created the "Yama-jii is too old to be the sotaicho of Gotei 13" website. Beside, no one knows it was me who created it, and almost every Shinigami agreed with me after all. So, can you let this thing slip?!
And because of how good I am, here is the list of what you should give me this year:
1. A new brush. My old one had been snapped in two last month, and now I'm using Ukitake's brush that he lent me.
2. A magical potion that can make Matsumoto willing to do her paperwork forever!
3. That potion needs to be colorless and odorless, so that I can mix it with Matsumoto's sake without her knowing about it.
4. Something to make Hinamori stops calling me "Shiro-chan".
5. Something to make Hinamori stops talking about how awesome Aizen is every time we visit each other.
6. One hundred watermelons!
7. Something to make Yama-jii, I mean, sotaicho stops giving Jubantai more paperwork than the other Divisions (that's so unfair! Do you know we have more paperwork then the first three Divisions combine?!)
8. A bazooka (don't ask me what I'm going to do when I have it, or why I want it).
9. Black Pearl of Jack Sparrow (that thing's just so darn cool!).
10. A real ice dragon. I want one, and so does Hyorinmaru.
11. An ice-cream making machine.
12. A potion that can make me as tall as Ichimaru.
13. A house made of amanatto (like that candy house in that "Hansel and Gretel" story, but instead of made of candy, it made of amanatto. I hate candy! I just like amanatto).
Yeah, that's all I want this year.
See you next year, Santa. Remember to give me what I want, ok?! Or I will go to North Pole and find you, then go "Hyorinmaru" on you.
It's still not a threat.
Bye!
Jubantai taicho,
Hitsugaya Toshiro.
I hope you have a wonderful laughing time. If not then, blame it to your neighbors. It's their fault that you don't find my story amusing.
But, if you find my story amusing then… thank you!