A/N: I had this idea in my head when I first heard about the Artie/Tina/Mike news and I posted the idea on my tumblr. A few people expressed interest so I decided to give it a go. It's a lot more intricate and longer than I expected but I enjoy writing and I hope you enjoy reading it.
Disclaimer: I, nor any of the people I know, don't own nor am I affiliated with Glee and its characters. We're all very sad about it. I also don't own the Coldplay song after which I titled this story.
I really don't know what I did to get so lucky. Sure, New Directions didn't place at Regionals but Glee Club was going to go on for at least another year. This meant another whole year spending time with the friends I never would have expected to have if it wasn't for our shared love of performing. But even before the school year starts, there was an entire summer to lounge around at home, mess around the town and spend time with all of my friends and especially my girlfriend, Tina.
She's the main reason why I believe I'm so lucky. Before her, I never would have thought a girl would ever like me back, much less go out with me. She's just amazing. Seriously, she's the first girl to see me past my chair and I'll always be grateful to her for that. Everyone else is sort of extra politically correct or extra nice when I'm around. I usually get so irritated with people I'm not particularly close with offering to push me around or help me in and out of my chair. Get it right people. I'm a perfectly independent, healthy paraplegic, not a useless pathetic sack of flesh. But Tina gets it because she's awesome like that. She just treats me like a human, instead of a talking chair. She accepts me for what… who I am. I wish I could say I've always done the same for her.
When she told me the truth about her stutter, I let her down. I was the first person she opened up to and what did I do? I shut her out and left her alone. She wanted to stop pushing people away and that is precisely what I did to her. I heard her calling out for me but for the first time, I ignored her cries. The moment I wheeled away, I knew that was the last time I'd do anything like that to her. She thinks that the reason why I don't like talking about that incident so much is because she thinks I'll never forgive her. But really, I'll never forgive myself. I wish I could take back how I acted, but I'm not sure if what I said was so wrong. It was the truth after all, she could be normal and I couldn't. When we sang Proud Mary together, all of us in wheelchairs, the connection, even though I was the only one now with a disability, Tina and I shared was there. I was still too hurt to forgive her or start dating again, but I knew I needed her in my life. In spite of our hurt feelings, Tina, being the incredible person she is, let me back into her life.
Tina returned in all of her blue highlighted and safety pinned beauty. Why did I ever tell her that she should change her look? Oh right, I'm an idiot. I guess with my genius, I figured since she could be normal, she should dress like a normal girl. Due to my incredible lapse of judgment, I hadn't even given thought to what Tina wanted to dress like, whether or not she wanted normal. Tina knocked some sense back into me with her righteous blade of equality. Looking back on it, I think I deserved a lot more punishment for making those crude and sexist comments to one of the most important women in my life. Why do I always do these things to her? She has never tried to change me into someone I don't want to be. It made me smile whenever she compliments my sweater vests or suspenders. Tina has given me (and my wardrobe) respect and I was too much of a jerk to give that back.
With some help from Mr. Schue and Madonna, I got over myself and gave Tina the apology she deserved. I told her I'd get down on one knee if I could. She thought that I didn't like her enough to do so. She couldn't be more wrong. When I'm with her she makes me feel like I could do anything. But I mess so often that I make myself feel like I can't. Even though I make mistakes, she forgives me and I would do anything for her because she's been everything to me. I knew that since before the first time she kissed me. After the second time, I swore to try to be everything she needs. And yet, I keep messing up. I try not to be so mean, but sometimes when things get out of hand I overreact.
I remember when she tried to make my dancing dreams come true and it ended up being a total fiasco. It was my turn to open up to her and she was supportive. She helped me stand for the first time in years and looked so happy when I looked down at her smiling face. That was the part that made me happy the most, being able to look at her from what would have been my proper height. I fully expected a comment about me being taller than her for once, but I guess it got lost in the craziness that happened shortly after. Before either of us knew it, my dreams and myself came crashing down. And I blamed her. I shouted at her. I didn't mean to… I just… I couldn't let her see me like that. I couldn't let her see me the way other people like the jocks or the cheerios see me. She always says that she admires me for my courage, for going through what I've been through. I yelled at her because at that moment I wasn't her hero. Not her prince charming. Not anything. I was just a crying useless cripple on the floor. I had to get her out somehow and that was the first thing that popped into my head. And I hate that.
The crazy thing was Tina apologized first. What in the world could she be possibly sorry for? Trying to make me happy? Being supportive of my dreams? I stopped her before she could go on and apologized for what seems like the billionth time. And just like that, she forgave me, told me to keep dreaming and kissed me. I really am in denial about the hopelessness of my situation. I keep trying to be the man she needs and deserves but I fail miserably too many times to count.
So when it was time to perform the number we'd been working on for Glee, I had to tell her that she should dance with someone else. I told her that I was okay with it, with not being able to do certain things like dance, dunk a basketball or kill a lion. I told her that I had to focus on making my other dreams come true like, although I didn't tell her this, being the best man I can for her. I wanted her to perform to her full potential with someone who could match every step and yet she still wanted to dance with me. We still performed together technically, I sang while she danced with Mike Chang. I had to admit, they looked good together and she was simply radiant. It killed me to know that the reason she was smiling so brightly was because, with Mike, she could move in ways that she could never do with me.
A little while later, I had overheard Mercedes and Quinn talking about how upset Tina looked during the first part of my solo. That sort of made me feel better, which in turn made me feel worse. What kind of guy takes pleasure in hearing that the girl he loves was sad? A horrible one. I really needed to step it up with her. All the drama in our relationship so far has been her trying to break down our walls, me pushing her away and me realizing what a completely idiotic jerk I was and apologizing. All I have ever wanted and needed to be was a better man for her.