A/N: I feel the need to write a lighthearted fic, so here we go! Oh, and I want to inform you guys that Shinji's "written" this during the time of the Hueco Mundo Arc and before the Winter War, so I hope that clears up any confusion!
Introduction
Okay, I have no freaking idea why Shinji made me do this stupid-ass introduction, but apparently, that's what you're supposed to do at the beginning of every single book. Go on a rant about the oncoming content and material and gush about how phenomenal the author is in his use of language and all that shit. Heck, how was I supposed to know? I don't read, all right? My head ain't always buried in some sick, twisted novel of Lisa's, unlike the rest of these idiots I'm living with.
Well, that was a pretty decent segue right there, I guess: Onto the topic of living with these idiots. This manual or book (or whatever the hell Shinji intends it to be) is primarily going to teach you how to survive at our place. We've got guidelines, conventions, tips, suggestions—all of that's packed into this thing, so you better listen up. Us Vizards are pretty nit-picky over our usual routine; one step out of line…and you're practically screwed. And that also goes for switching on the TV at the wrong time of the day, buddy. No one gets the remote during the time between 9:00PM to 10:00PM on Wednesdays but me. Otherwise, you're in for some real trouble, jackass.
All in all, just pay attention, don't be a dickhead, and use common sense. Or in simpler words, don't pull of a "Kurosaki Ichigo" and fuck up our long-established living arrangements, got it? It's easy, really.
- Sarugaki Hiyori
P.S. Shinji's nice enough to once in a while provide you readers with scenarios in which a certain drop-in (anyone got a good guess of who that could possibly be?) completely ignores our rules and suffers the consequences thereof, so that ought to give you all an incentive to make sure all this shit ends up embedded in your heads!
A/N: First installment's up, so check it out!