This story takes place backstage in the Nickelodeon Studios. It is not on camera. However, all of the characters have the same personality as they do on the show.
The entire Invader Zim cast hung out in the Nickelodeon Studios lounge after they had finished another episode. Gaz was on the computer, Zim and Gir were watching TV, Dib was over by the snack bar, Tak was on a treadmill working out, and the Tallest were in the Cafeteria.
"Hey, everyone, take a look at this!" Gaz suddenly said. Zim, Dib, Tak, and Gir walked over to her. "Our fans have created some romance pairings of us."
"ZaDr? How do you pronouce that?" Dib asked, reading the word off the computer screen.
"It is impossible in your language to have a 'd' and an 'r' next to each other in that order without a vowel following it." Zim stated.
"Yea, but it's obviously a word. Look at how it's used. 'I love Zadr.'" Dib said.
"It's an acronym you morons." Gaz snarled.
"Well a stupid one." Zim muttered.
"What does it stand for, then?" Dib asked.
"Zim and Dib Romance." Gaz replied.
Zim and Dib looked at each other, horrified.
"Oh, and here's some fan art of you two making out." Gaz pointed at the screen.
Dib ran to a garbage can puked his guts out. Zim ran around in circles clutching his eyes (which were bubbling turning black) and shouting "My eyes! My eyes! They burn!"
"Ok, I'm so not-" Dib started, but then thought of something. "Zim, are you male or female?"
Zim looked up at him, burning eyes full of hatred. "I'm male, you insignificant little worm! How dare you insult ZIM!" Zim then pulled a laser out of his PAK and aimed it at Dib. Security grabbed him and took his gun. Zim pouted.
"Here's another pairing. Zim and Gaz romance," Tak read. Zim suddenly looked up (his eyes going back to normal) and began eyeing Gaz. Dib looked up and stared daggers into Zim.
"Don't you even think about it, Space-Boy!" He shouted.
"Don't worry, Dib-thing, I don't like humans." Zim replied, but still eyed Gaz. Dib tackled him. Security men came in and pulled the two off each other.
Gaz made a face at Zim that could have stopped a lion in it's tracks.
"What else is there, Gaz?" Tak asked. "This is getting interesting."
"Zim and Tak romance."
Tak ran to the garbage can puked up strange green liquids. Then she ran up to Zim and punched him in the eye. Zim fell to the floor moaning.
"Dib and Tak romance." Gaz said, watching the reactions.
Tak kicked Dib in the gut. He fell to the floor, whimpering.
"Someone go get those Tallest dorks. They have to be here for this next one," Gaz said. A Security officer left the room and returned with the two tall Irkens.
"Fans have made a romance pairing of you two." Gaz said to them. "Red and Purple romance."
The two looked at each other for a second and then ran out the room in opposite directions screaming bloody murder. Gaz chuckled.
"Zim and Gir romance." Gaz read.
Gir jumped onto his master's head and squeeled.
"I luv you, Masta! I luv you!" He shouted.
"Gir! Get off my head before I make you self destruct!" Cried the horrified alien.
"I like exploding!" Gir yelled, but he obeyed.
"That looks like all the main ones. There are some others, but they're harder to find." Gaz looked over the webpage.
"I cannot believe fans actually think we would fall in love!" Dib shouted.
"Stupid inferior humans." Zim spat.
"I agree." Gaz said.
"Wanna go hunt down all of the websites that have this kind of thing and burn them to the ground?" Zim asked.
"We can't." Dib said.
"Why not?"
"You can't burn a website."
"Oh, well I knew that! I was testing you! I AM ZIM!"
"Can we at least make this illegal?" Tak asked.
"No, there is something called 'freedom of speech' which lets people say whatever they want." Gaz stated. "No matter how insulting."
There was a moan throughout all of the cast and then they went back to whatever they had been doing before Gaz had called them over.
So, now you know what the characters of Invader Zim would say and do if they found out about the pairings we fans have put on them.
Just so you know, I really like ZAGR, so I can write this and not feel bad about it.