This is my attempt at humour in the form of X/Y. Enjoy.

(Cue the morning theme)

Ah. The warm, lovely rays of sunshine. The fresh feel of morning mist seeping through my window. What a great greeting by nature to start off the day. I think I will do a rousing routine of-

"Fletchling!", the tiny robin Pokemon chirped, pecking me in the forehead painfully.

Or perhaps I'll kick off the day by killing a person.

"Mom! What the fuck?!", I yelled.

"Oh, good, you're awake, Calem!", she replied from downstairs. "I sent Fletchling up there to wake you up!"

"You know, Mom, there's something revolutionary, considered state of the art technology by some. IT'S CALLED AN ALARM CLOCK FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

"I hope you're ready, we have some visitors coming soon, our neighbors are coming over!"

"So what?!", I shouted as I put on my clothes. "I don't care if they're the freaking Champion, I'm not changing gears for-"

"I believe one of them is a girl your age, named Serena."

I blinked. Finally, some booty. "Hold up, Mom, I got the door, give me a sec!" Thrusting on my clothes as fast as I could, I almost threw myself down the stairs, crashing into the wall at the bottom.

"Oh, well aren't you rested up from the move?"

"It would have been better if you hadn't sent that devil bir-"

"Why don't you go say hi to the neighbors?"

"What, no breakfast? Fine." I walk to the door and turn the knob, pulling it inward to open the door. I saw two white girls; a tall one with strawberry blonde hair in a ponytail, and a shorter brunette with really weird looking pigtails. Man, Kalos needs to up their game, but I'll take what I can get.

"Welcome to Vaniville Town!", the taller one said.

"Town?", I replied. "There are only, like, three houses!"

"My name's Serena, and this is Shauna.", the taller one said, gesturing to the girl beside her. But really, all I heard was "Wish #1 and Wish #2".

"It's nice to meet you!", Shauna said, bubbly as all living fuck. "Guess what! We've come to get you!"

"Oh, you're into that kinda thing? Damn, you're freaky."

"The esteemed Professor Sycamore lives here in Kalos.", Serena stated. "We were told that he has a request for five children, including the three of us."

"You don't say? It is literally the only reason I came to this region."

"But I'm kinda surprised he knew about you. You did just move to Vaniville, after all."

"Look me up on Facebook, it's not that hard."

Shauna jumped up and down in her spot. "We're going to meet up in the next town over! And we're going to get a Pokemon!", she squealed with delight. Goddamn it, I already can't stand and I only knew her for twenty seconds if that. Whatever.

Going through the gate of Vaniville...whatever the fuck it is, because it's not a town, I walked down a simple path in the woods to the next location over. Aquacorde, and the first thing to greet me was none other than Shauna and three of her friends, two of them I didn't know, both were guys. Damn it.

"Come quickly!", Shauna called.

"Care to take a minute to rephrase that?" By Shauna's insistence, I sat down at their table. Serena took the liberty of introducing me to the rest of the gang. "Everyone, this is Calem."

"Wow, Shauna described you to a T!", the big guy with what looked like a cap of hair on his head said.

"If she happened to use the words "ivory-toned god", then she was spot on.", I replied.

"That's Tierno.", Serena began. "He's got some great dance moves, but he's not really into the life of a trainer." She looked at the midget beside him. "And this is Trevor. Shy, but extremely smart."

"Hey. How's it going, Bobcut?"

"That reminds me, it'd feel like we're a closer crew if we made up nicknames for each other.", Tierno cut in.

"No it wouldn't.", I retorted. "In fact, it would make me want to choke you to death."

"Can I call you C-Meister?"

"No."

Shauna slammed her hands on the table. "Absolutely not!"

"Thank you, someone with sense."

"He's a Lil' C for sure!"

"...Did I say sense? No, more like idiotic, crack-fuelled dumbassery.", I deadpanned.

"Do you have an idea, Trevs?"

Trevor moved back in surprise. " I can't just nickname someone out of the blue! ...But if I had to, how about something low-key... Oh, maybe like Big C!"

"In what realm is THAT low-key?!"

"Why don't you decide yourself, Calem?", Serena suggested.

"Ooh, I have a great nickname! I shall be known henceforth as "Calem"!", I said, using my hands to gesture the name as if it were on a banner.

"But that's just your name.", Shauna said.

"And it's a great one too.", I stated proudly. "I'll probably come up with something. Sooner or later."

"Let's get out the Pokemon, Tierno!", Shauna said excitedly, or rather, her normally. Tierno put a case on the table, and in it were three Pokemon. Chespin, a Grass-type. Pretty bulky and strong physically, but lacking everywhere else. Fennekin, pretty fast and potentially powerful, but too vain for my taste, and that's saying something. Finally, there is Froakie, the ninja frog badass of Kalos. Fastest of the three, and can take down its other two counterparts in offence with its Special Attack.

Team Froakie all the way.

And so this story starts. It won't be updated regularly, as I have life and other bigger stories to attend to. Goodralisk out.