-"but what if it really does matter, because taking the road less traveled really can change everything"
AN: This story was written by myself and Madison Bellows. SO credit goes to her for fab chapters later on and for working really hard on the storyline!!
What if: Matt never met Taylor? Gus never had cancer? Flack never told Carmen about Lucinda Garvey and he never showed up that night.
Prologue
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation.
And it's getting more and more absurd.
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over?
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word.
Mary J Blige – Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
The rain cascaded across my face as I tipped it towards the sky, my own salty tears drowning in the droplets.
Behind me the huge frame of St Paul's loomed, overshadowing me in the lights reflected from the street lamps.
The church was closed; it seemed that even the Lord had forsaken me. I sat down on the stone steps, choking as rain continued to pour. My arms were wrapped around myself as I stared upwards, praying.
My heart was breaking into a million pieces. My clothes were soaked through now, the material was heavy and coarse against my skin and the only thing I could think of was the fact I deserved to die out here right now. Alone and in the shadows.
I was shaking now, remembering how his words struck me as he screamed, his hands shoving me out of the door as I clung to him begging.
I'd never been scared of him until that moment, seeing all that rage and fury harden in his cornflower blue eyes, knowing that I'd inflicted that upon him was killing me.
I was rocking now as the sobs forced themselves up and through me, my whole body was shuddering against the emotions that welled up inside me as I cried bitterly, cursing myself.
I ran my hands through my long lank hair as it hit me again and again, that I'd lost the only man I'd ever truly loved, and it was all my fault.