Disclaimer. I don't own any of the gods or any one in the Federation. They both belong to themselves in the Future when artificial intelligence technology brings them to life. But because of relativistic curved space/time the Future is the Past so they may be watching you read this. ;) In the mean time, Television, the ancient Greeks and us Fan Writers are borrowing them. (The ancient Greeks wrote about Captain Kirk. They called him Odysseus). Since both groups know how to have a good time I am sure neither minds!

The networks would be wise to consider any Fan produced attempt to be an advertisement for the original. In fact here IS an advertisement for the original.

If you are a Cupid fan but not a Star Trek fan the original Star Trek (which is up to Cupid level writing in quality) can be found in its entirety at Hulu. If you are a Star Trek fan and didn't realize that Cupid existed and that it is up to Star Trek level quality in its writing, acting, drama, humor and commentary about the Human condition, most of the original can be watched at Youtube. (The last two parts of Children's Hour are muted). Google "Cupid pilot" in their internal search box. The 2009 remake which this is based on didn't stay around anywhere near long enough to reach its full potential but the 7 episodes that do exist are great if a bit fluffy compared with the original show. They can be bought for a pittance from I tunes and are well worth the price if you like something a bit lighthearted and Norman Rockwellish.

Author's note. Alright. I kind of took the wind out of the sails of the episode, "Who Mourns for Adonais" by giving this tragedy a happier, warmer ending. but suicide intervention is important! Gods don't let gods kill themselves! :-) Plus by (easily) uniting the Cupidverse and the Trekaverse into one I may just have introduced the two Fans to each others incredibly wonderful shows. Both shows were too good for the "idiot box" and equal in philosophy and heart so their Characters and their Fans both need to stick together against the flood of mediocrity!

If anyone can reach the creator of Cupid, Rob Thomas please tell him Cupid keeps getting canceled because he is producing it in the wrong genre. He needs to write Claire's book. If he writes Claire's book inter-spaced with protest comments by the "Lunatic" himself plus eye witness accounts of the various Mortals Cupid interacts with he will have a best seller on his hands!

Cupid Rescues Uncle Apollo

by

Elizabeth Hensley 8-)

Aboard the starship Enterprise Lt Uhura said to Mr. Spock. "I think we can try it now sir." She pushed beeping buttons. " Enterprise to Captain Kirk. Enterprise to Captain Kirk. Come in Captain!"

On the surface of the planet Kirk's communicator beeped.

Finally! He flipped it open. "Kirk here."

"Spock here Captain. We pinpointed a power source on the planet's surface which seems to have something to do with the force field. Is there a structure of some sort near you?"

Kirk smiled, "There is indeed Mr. Spock."

Spock said, calmly, "The power emanates from there."

Kirk said, "Very good. How are you doing doing on the force field?"

Spock said, "We can negate sections of it creating openings through which we can fire our phaser banks."

Kirk said with grim satisfaction, "Well that ought to do it "Have Mr. Sulu lock all phaser banks on the structure. Fire on my order only and cut it fine. We'll be standing nearby."

Spock was a bit concerned, "Captain, I would recommend a discrete distance."

Kirk winced, "I'd love to oblige you Mr. Spock! But we are not all together. Plus we have Apollo to deal with. If that structure is the source of his power I want to know where he is when we attack it! Kirk out."

Captain Kirk asked, "Bones?"

The Doctor asked, "Em?"

Kirk said, "Do you think that organ in his chest have anything to do with the transmission of energy?"

McCoy shrugged. "Well it doesn't have any other purpose that I know of."

Scotty was terrified for Carolyn, "Captain! We have to wait until Carolyn comes back until we fire on the temple! We don't know what would happen to her if she is with him when he is suddenly attacked. She might get killed!"

Kirk said gently, "Yes, Scotty I know. I know. Scotty, we'll wait."

Apollo and the mother of the new line of goddesses stood in the alien sunshine.

Carolyn said with Vulcan coldness, "I must say Apollo, the way you ape Human behavior is remarkable. But there are some other things you must know. Your evolutionary patterns and your social development."

Apollo was more shocked than he had ever been in his thousands of years of life, "My what?!"

"I am sure they are unique. I've ever encountered a specimen like you before."

"I am Apollo!" He exclaimed, "I've chosen you!"

She said as cold as cold could be, "I'm sure that I very flattering. But, I must get on with my work now."

The Olympian was amazed and puzzled, "Your work!?"

Calmly and sweetly she said, "I am a Scientist. My particular specially is ancient civilizations, relics and myths." She laughed scornfully. "Surely you know I've only been studying you."

"I don't believe it! You love me!"

"Love you? Illogical. I am not some simple Shepherdess you can awe. Why I could could no more love you than I could love a new species of... bacteria."

Apollo was shocked! He had never had a Mortal give him the brush off before! "Carolyn I forbid you to go! I order you to stay!"

She said scornfully, "Is that the secret of your power over Woman? Your thunder bolts you throw?"

She calmly walked off.

He started throwing some! But the modern Mortal just walked away from him!

McCoy exclaimed, "What the devil is that?"

Kirk's communicator beeped.

Kirk flipped it open, "Kirk here."

"Spock, Captain. Sensors are picking up an atmospheric disturbance in your area."

"Stand by those phasers Mr. Spock. Prepare to fire on my order. Kirk out."

Apollo let himself get bigger and bigger, showing off his big, unconcentrated size, hurling dozens of lightning bolts but not at anyone in particular. He still hoped a harmless demonstration of his power would bring them around.

Scotty shouted "Captain we have to go and find her!"

Kirk disagreed,"We have to be here when he comes back!"

"But what if he doesn't? What if.."

Firmly Kirk said, "Scotty! Just hold on!"

The thunder storm and Apollo's wrath intensified as Carolyn clutched her beautiful but flimsy gown to keep it from being torn away by the howling winds. He grew larger and larger and she screamed and screamed! But though she would not have believed it he would NOT hurt her. For he certainly could have if that had been his desire! To destroy any Mortal he needed no thunder bolts! He could have quietly reached out his left little finger and stopped her heart!

His his own heart was breaking! How had it come to this? This was not what he wanted!

The Enterprise revved up its phaser power

Scotty pleaded, "Captain!"

The Captain said, "All right. The temple is his power source. Let's bring him back to it."

Captain Kirk: "Mr Spock Fire those phasers!"

Spock was as concerned as a Vulcan could get. "Captain you are too close."

Captain Kirk: "Fire those phasers. That's an order Mr Spock!"

Kirk, Scotty, Chekhov and McCoy ran to huddle behind rocks to protect themselves as best they could from the wrath and power of gods and men.

Sulu said, "All phaser banks fire!"

The phasers shot at the cute little temple Apollo had built for himself. It started to glow red as it disintegrated.

"No! NO! Stop! Stop!" Apollo shouted in shock and disbelief! Up until now his bolts had been aimed at no one and even with those he had been pulling his punchs. But then in self defense and self defense alone he aimed his bolts at that pipsqueak of a ship! How could they do this to him, HIM! APOLLO!

Captain Kirk ordered, "All phaser banks maintain firing rates."

Spock anticipating resistance said, "More power to the shields."

Apollo continue to howl his protests and hurl bolts at the ship.

But the Enterprise was not some simple, easily ignited hut of wood or straw. It was a starship designed to handle any simple ion or lightning storm. That meant the most powerful of lightning bolts could not hurt it. Spock need not have bothered ordering more power to the shields!

Even a 20th Century or 21st Century car might have survived his hurls if its rubber tires were thick enough!

But the temple was but a structure of stone with a few magic tech enhancements. It had never dawned on Apollo he had to make it phaser proof! It had never dawned on him a Mortal would dare attack it! But Kirk could have done serious damage with a hand phaser if he'd still had one working.

Against the entire Enterprise's phaser banks Apollo didn't have a chance!

Carolyn walked into the clearing.

The Scottish Engineer ran to her and wrapped his arms around her protectively, taking an enormous risk.

McCoy said warningly and worried, "Scotty!"

Apollo kept howling, "Stop!" But the Mortals were as merciless as cruel gods!

Apollo hurled at the the Mortal's little toy with all his might but it was just too far away and too well built! How could Mortals build something this strong?!

Apollo kept begging and commanding, Stop STOP! S T O P!

Calmly and without compassion Spock said: "All banks maintain firing rate."

Sulu replied, "Maintaining sir."

Apollo, "NO! NO!"

They fired and fired and fired and Apollo hurled thunder bolt after thunder bolt! But the sturdy, little starship was built well and the lonely god was already broken by his beloved's rejection. His heart was not even in the fight!

So it didn't even take long for him to be drained dry of thunder bolts.

His temple was destroyed and the brutal starship assault stopped!

The whole destruction of the power of a god by science hadn't lasted two minutes!

Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Chekhov and Carolyn walked back onto what was left of the temple's patio.

Even the pleasant stone picnic table was gone!

Apollo inspected the wreckage in shock. It was not the temple itself. It was that Mortals would do that to him! He who had been so loved and worshiped and wanted! He stood before the defiant Star ship Crew for the moment almost as merely Human as they were, and his heart was certainly just as broken. Sobbing he exclaimed, "I would have cherished you! Cared for you! I would have loved you as as father loves his Children! Did I ask so much?"

Kirk said gently, "We've outgrown you. You asked for something we can no longer give."

The grief stricken Olympian stared at the Mortal woman who he would have given glory beyond glory! "Carolyn I loved you! I would have made a goddess of you! I showed you my open heart! See what you have done to me?"

Apollo spread his arms to the heavens and sobbed, "Zeus! Hermes! Hera! Aphrodite! You were right! Athena! You were right! The time has past! There is no room for gods! Forgive me my old friends! Take me! Take me! Take me! Take me! Take me!"

Apollo went into incorporeal mode letting the solar rays and the cosmic winds scatter him at will.

In the cool, comforting, velvet, vastness of space he eventually congealed again but he was not thinking clearly.

Other universes! That was the key! There were supposed to be other universes reachable by hurling oneself through the naked singularities of black holes. Maybe in one of those alternate realities his kind would still be loved and wanted!

He reached out with his selective omnipresence and found one near. It was only 532 light years away. That wasn't five minutes at a slow lope for a god.

A slow lope was all he felt up to doing. After what he's just been through....

Who wanted to end up old and crazy like Zeus?

It was very possible he would not survive a trip through a dark hole. He was only a god after all not an Angel. Rumor had it the Angels used black holes all the time to time-travel and other neat stuff.

Well if it killed him, it killed him! No matter! Death was better than being forgotten about and rejected!

No wonder the other gods had given up!

As he trudged along through space tears enough to cause a Biblical flood flowed from his divine eyes. They froze immediately in space and became deep space comets. Whatever mental defect that ran through his kind that made the Mortals reject them and made them unable to get along with each other, whatever it was, he was not going to let it win! He would end his life NOW while he was still in his right mind!

He wouldn't end up like his father, Zeus!

It served the Mortals right forgetting about them in favor of that prudish Carpenter! Kinder and more forgiving though He may be, by giving them so much freedom and respect the Mortals just weren't as much fun anymore!

Suddenly he heard a voice calling to him out of the violet void.It was the voice he least expected to hear and the one he wished to end his life with the least. "Blast it! Of all the most annoying creatures in the Multiverse! Did his last few moments of life have to be afflicted with that dart tossing, psychotic, mischief-maker of a mommy's boy who treated being a god like being a Comedian?"

"Eros!" he growled. I thought we got rid of you! Last I saw you were being held onto by two Psychiatric Orderlies and firmly hustled into an isolation room!'

Eros appeared before him. Oh yes it was the crazy god of love himself! He had so fallen in love with his last Human host he still looked the part, complete with a New York 21st Century T shirt that read, "Love's alive and kickin' in the Big Apple." And tennis shoes! He did have his bow and quiver full of arrows back at least.

The love god admitted,"Yes, they did. But it was a modern mental hospital, Uncle Apollo not a snake pit." Gently he said "They didn't put me away forever. They helped me get better and then they put me in Outpatient commitment status which did me a world of good. Plus the rules of my banishment were I could have my god-hood back if I united one hundred Couples in true love using nothing but persistence and chutzpa, remember? Well maybe no one but myself had faith in me that I could really do it, but I did!" He grinned that grin that only Eros can grin. "So they let me back and I brought my Wife with me. She was my Psyche-iatrist. Now she is all of us god's Psyche-iatrist. Her name is Claire. We've had a Daughter named Delightful and my Wife set up a clinic next to Lamps by George right in downtown Olympus. Now we gods are getting the medical care and the psychiatric care we needed. Zeus is doing so much better now that he's off that Rauwolfia serpentinia, Hippocrates had him on and is on a modern, atypical anti-psychotic. She can help you too! You don't have to kill yourself."

Ruefully Apollo defended his actions. "I'm not. I'm following the philosophy of our new nemesis. Captain Kirk. I'm boldly going where no god has gone before."

Eros shook his head, "Uncle Apollo. Captain Kirk is not our Nemesis. He is one of my role models and he taught me things about love! You just came on too strong. Modern Mortals don't stand for that but there are still pleasant ways of dealing with them. As for hurling yourself into a black hole, it may indeed be going where no god has gone before but it is NOT a good idea! Yes, there may be other universe's beyond as is theorized by Stephen Hawking and Uncle Vulcan but even a god may not survive all that gravity!"

"Eros you are a Lunatic! Why should I listen to you?"

Eros said firmly, "Yes I'm considered a Lunatic, but I got help! And you can too Uncle! You don't have to go on like this! Life is just too precious!"

Apollo growled, "You were forced to get help! We threw you out for deliberate mismatching of couples and due to your own ineptitude at passing for a Mortal you ended up in a psychiatric hospital!"

Eros grinned, "True! But once I realized that was what the Fates had planned for me I dug in and became the best Mental Patient I could. I took full advantage of the therapies the Mortals offered me. So look at me now! It did me a lot of good!"

Apollo gave him a scornful look

"It did!' Eros insisted, "It really did! It helped me grow up and mature! I have a Wife and a Daughter now and I also obtained Olympus a great Shrink and Doctor!"

Cupid pointed out, "Plus I am not trying to bump myself off like certain so called better gods! Come on Uncle Apollo! Let Claire talk to you!"

He added gently, "What's so terrible about letting a gorgeous Ex-Mortal listening to every word you say and jotting it down in her little yellow pad? And so what if she prescribes you some pills? How bad is it having to take a pill or two a day? There is no shame in getting help! In fact the real shame is in NOT getting help!"

Apollo stared at Eros as if he were some kind of bug. " You are a Lunatic!We are all gone Eros. You and I are the last gods left!"

Gently Cupid shook his head, "You are the one who's the Lunatic now Uncle! Are you EVER out of touch with reality!" He laughed gently, "Uncle we're fine! Oh we are a bit bored and lonely and missing Mortal worship something awful since the New Administration but we're still there. You just went flying off in a huff a couple of hundred years ago and you've been flying around in Space alone so long your mind is playing tricks on you. We don't live on that planet you found. We've always been loyal Earthlings. We're back home on Walton's Mountain (whoops I mean Mount Olympus) just as we've always been! Hera has taken up golf. Vulcan has set up a wifi connection with John's Cube up on Mount Sinai and is trying to solve the unified field theory with Einstein. Uncle Mercury is into hiking and mountain climbing. What with the Klingons and the Romulons there is still plenty of work for Mars. I still tend bar once in a while and helping Mortals fall in love has never gone out of fashion. We've all found hobbies and charities and vocations to pass the time. You can do the same. Yes ever since that little incident in Jerusalem we've been conquered but we're far from dead!"

Gently Eros added, "At least talking to Claire would be a Mortal paying attention to you and giving you emotional support. That seems to be what you are craving so bad, lack of it has cost you your usual joy de vivre to the point you want to go hurl yourself into a black hole!"

Apollo said, "Mortals have just gotten so complicated. I want them to be the way they used to be; Herding Sheep and weaving wool. The only warp they should know about should be in their looms!"

Cupid shook his head, "Uncle Apollo what were you thinking? You can't control another's actions and to make your happiness depend on someone elses actions is insane! Even we gods can only control our own behavior and not even that sometimes. Try forgiveness. It may be a fad of the New Administration but its sure a good fad! Plus it is absolutely coo COOOOO to expect modern Mortals to herd sheep and weave cloth! They grow meat in vats now and robots make their clothes. And they won't worship you as a god! But they can be successfully interacted with. I do it all the time. Let Claire teach you more successful, more contemporary god-Mortal interrelational skills like she did me. If I can learn you sure can!"

Uncle Apollo frowned. "They don't even believe in us any more Eros!!"

Cupid pointed out. It doesn't matter Uncle Apollo. One thing Claire taught me is the only one who has to believe in you is you. If you are on your own side the entire multiverse can be against you and life is still worth living! But if you are against yourself it doesn't matter who is on your side, the gods, the Big Guy, every Mortal and Angel in Creation, it doesn't matter, without self love, life is still worthless. Uncle Apollo love yourself! Please! You have to learn to love yourself! Because what are the chances of you even existing? Just the fact you exist makes you a Winner! You won the sperm race!"

Eros came and gave his melancholic Uncle a big hug, "In this entire Universe all we have is each other and we are all part of each other. And besides as I said, if no one else loves you, love yourself and know that the Big Guy loves you!"

Apollo thought to himself, sounds familiar!

Eros continued, "If you kill yourself we will all be diminished and we all will be in mourning. By trying to punish the Mortals for not believing in you you are punishing us too, and we do believe in you!"

Eros added, "We all miss you so much! What would you do to us if you kill yourself? We may not be perfect. We may squabble and throw bolts at each other way too often. We yell and we holler and we damage the ones we love with painful frequency, but we are your family and we do love you even if it doesn't show! We miss you! Please come home!"

Apollo shook his head, "I need the Mortals Eros! But they don't even believe in us any more."

Cupid sighed, "Well they might again now! You just blew our cover!"

Apollo sighed, "it doesn't matter their believing in our physical existence again. They will never worship us again! That Carpenter of theirs is just too damn good!"

Eros shook his head, "Well suicide is a lousy way to get revenge! It punishes tons of innocent folks with an ounce of guilty folks. Don't do it to us!"

Apollo exclaimed, "But Eros we no longer have a purpose!"

Eros disagreed, "For all you know your whole point of existence may to be to step on a Grasshopper one day and by so doing prevent a plague thousands of years later. We can't all be sure what our purpose in the Universe is but we all have one, the best and worst of gods and the best and worst of Mortals. That's for sure! I knew a careless Driver once who killed the sweetest, lady, street Missionary! He must have hated himself but by so doing he stopped World War II from being won by Hitler because she was going to start a peace movement that would have delayed America's entering into the war too long. And couldn't even know that the worst event of his life was his purpose until he stood before the Big Guy at his near death experience. Oh Yes, Uncle Apollo, we all have a purpose!"

Then Eros smiled, "Besides Mortals don't have to believe in you as a god to worship you."

Apollo sighed. Just to humor the nut job he asked, "How is that?"

Eros grinned, "Uncle Apollo they don't worship gods anymore but they do worship Musicians, and you are the tops! You could actually have Groupies, which are just another name for Worshipers!"

Cupid continued, "Here is what I do. I still pull a shift now and then at that bar I used to work at. The current Owner knows I'm a god but he's a modern Mortal. So he's neither scared of me nor too proud to accept free help when it's offered. After all I am a great Bar tender! Yes I'm not worshiped but I have dozens of Mortals who love me as a wacky Bar tender with a lot of wisdom and a heart of gold. I still match up couples the old fashioned way occasionally, sans magic just for the challenge! It's fun! And it's the love I crave. That's really most of what you crave too if you will just admit it. Simply by walking amongst them disguised as as a Mortal you could have Mortals loving you again. But because your skill is music not mixology they really would be worshiping you again not just loving you!"

The idea did sound a bit intriguing! Cautiously Apollo asked, "How would I get started?"

Cupid explained, "My bar is a karaoke bar, Uncle Apollo. Just go there and sing and play your heart out. You are so good if you keep doing that soon you may get noticed. My old room is vacant right now. I'll trade working shifts for your staying there and you can find an Agent and work your way up. Plus let everyone know you are the god Apollo. They'll think you are nuts too and that will add to your mystique and bring you publicity. Just don't spoil it by proving it. You have to keep the mystery up to keep their interest. In this day and age with psychiatric care making almost everyone normal and Aliens on every street corner they'll have more interest in you as a genuine, incurable Nutcase than a superior Energy Being! If any Shrink comes after you just tell them it's really just your professional persona and you stay in character but would they please keep quiet about that? Just have them certify you, "delusional but harmless and competent" as they did me."

Apollo sighed, "So what I just did was a waste?"

Cupid shook his head, "No Uncle Apollo it wasn't a waste at all! It may have just kept us from going extinct! Remember what the Mortals write is what happens to us gods cause they create us far in the Future. You said Carolyn would be mother to a new race of gods! That might have just saved us. Remember up until now my daughter Delightful has been the last one of us born due to the Mortals failing to write any thing more about us."

Apollo frowned and shook his head,"But it was futile! I only said it. No Mortal said it, so it isn't true!"

Cupid shook his head,"No it wasn't futile. Some Mortal did agree with you! In Jame Blish's novelization of this little incident Carolyn is pregnant! Plus when you become a big Pop Star there will be rag zine articles about love affairs resulting in Love Children and fan fiction written about you getting some of your nuttier Fans pregnant. So please Uncle Apollo! Don't go flying through some black hole! You need to stick around. Things could start to get real interesting!"

Uncle Apollo considered, "Well I guess I could talk to Claire for a little bit! If she's even there, you Lunatic! But I guess I at least ought to go see if she and the other gods are still there first before I make....other plans."

Cupid smiled, "That's the ticket! Race you back to the family Mountain!