I could not believe it. Out of all things, I could not believe it. I wanted to scream out a curse and let it be heard, but none of the curses in my language counted as much on the Leviathan.
"Barking Spiders!" I ended up saying. People stared at me. I knew it sounded strange with my nothing-close-to-Scottish accent.
I sighed and waved a hand in apology. I was just an idiot clanker to them anyway. It is not everyday one sees what I have just seen though. There I was, minding the eggs when Dr. Barlow gave me an order to go get Dylan for his watch. I am still not accustomed to orders, so I go immediately without hearing the rest of the instruction. I doubt it mattered though. What mattered was when I walked into his room. There he was, not even a 'he' at all! I refuse to even believe what I saw. There was a woman there with Dylan's haircut and Dylan's face and half dressed in his clothes. That girl could not possibly be Dylan, he is the most masculine person I know! But there are no blonde young ladies on the ship who look exactly like him…her. I certainly cannot tell anyone. What if it was a trick of the light, or perhaps a wave of pure madness? Something told me not to share the secret with anyone, including my men. It will be hard keeping it from Volger, but I have to. My logic tells me that Dylan might be urged to spill some of my secrets once they were out, but do I really feel that? No. Volger could never know. It is late so I go to bed. Dr. Barlow could wait all night for Dylan and I, we wont appear. I am in no mood to watch eggs and I am not going back to get Dylan, or whatever her name might be.
All night I think about what I saw. She was not completely naked when I walked in, but she had no bindings for her chest and two lumps were quite obviously tightening her shirt. I did not see anything I should not have seen, beside the fact one of my most trusted friends turns out to be a girl. Imagine the horrors if I had walked in while she had her shirt off completely. Ugh. I would never look at her the same without my eyes dropping down slightly. Perhaps I will never see her the same in the state I am in now.
This brings me to another topic. How will she react to me knowing, or does she even know I know? I whipped my head out of the door soon as possible, so she must have not seen me. I suppose I would in the morning. These thoughts buzzed around my head until the sun rose and it was time for work.
I hoped I could avoid Dylan for a few hours, but no, there she was waiting for me. The day passed by normally, she did not bring up the subject either because she was too embarrassed or did not know. Something inside me wanted to ask, but I had no idea how to formulate the question. It wasn't until food break, when we sat alone on the spine together that I noticed we were alone together a lot. If I had known earlier, I would not have allowed it. Where I come from a young man and woman must have a chaperone at all times. Then she cracked a joke with that odd humor of hers, and I found myself chuckling. It was then I realized she still was Dylan, or whatever her real name was, and a person does not change because their gender is discovered. This would have been a perfect time to ask, but she will tell me herself in her own time. I want to be told because she trusts me as a friend. We are friends aren't we? A clanker boy can be a friend with a Darwinist girl right? Well there is a first for everything.
When Dylan wants to tell me she can. I'll hopefully be done thinking about it by then. Speaking of thinking too much, Dylan caught me not responding to a clever comment of hers.
"Oh come on that was a good one!" she said irritably.
"Eh?" I said not listening.
Dylan laughed.
"I swear I got the only clanker with a meathead!" she teased. The comment hit me hard. What did she mean 'I got the clanker'? I in no way belong to her. I dismiss the thought though deciding I don't want to think about it.
"Yeah," I say in spite of myself, "It appears you did."