A/N: Okay this is my first story so review that way I can get better at writing them. Sorry about any spelling errors spell checks aren't perfect. If you see something that needs to be changed or something that can help me out let me know so I can fix it. I think that my e-mail address is in my profile. If you do e-mail me put in the title of the story so I know what it is about.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters they belong to J.K. Rowling who I am not.

bChapter 1/b

"Please tell me I won't lose you to 'Mione I can't lose you to". It was late and I and my best girl friend were in the Gryffindor Common room talking about order business. Suddenly the subject turned to Sirius Black my godfather that had just died months before. I had lost my parents to the hands of Voldermort when I was just one, at 15 I had lost my godfather to one of his followers. Between all of this I had somehow fallen into love with Hermione. I don't know why or how it happened but it did. I couldn't tell her though. With us both working for the Order and Voldermort after me it would hurt us more if something happened to one of us. She was the only one that had expressly told me not to go looking for Sirius Black in our 3rd year when we thought that he was a murder. I loved everything about Hermione the way she moved, her concern for me, the brilliance, her logic everything. It wasn't just lust but something more. "'Mione" I started again. I was dead set on repeating myself all the time I was lost in my thoughts she still hadn't said anything. "Don't" she responded stopping me before I continue. She was walking over from her chair to mine as she said this and sat on my lap when she reached me. "Uhh wh-wh-what do you mean?" I asked. I had never seen Hermione do this before. "Don't repeat yourself" she said. "I heard you the first time. I just didn't know how to respond." "Oh I'm sorry" I said "I didn't want to say anything that would make you feel uncomfortable". "Don't you haven't did anything wrong" she said and leaned her head against my shoulder. It felt pretty good to have her in my arms. After awhile she looked me dead in the eye and said "Harry you won't ever lose me and you know it." I don't know what came over me but I was kissing her before I knew what I was doing. I wasn't ready to stop holding her in my arms right then. "Hermione" I said lets go up to my room, you can spend the night there. She knew from the look in my eyes that I was looking for something emotional not physical. "Ron" she ask "What if he finds out?" "We'll have no choice but to tell him the truth. He might not understand but it would be worse if we lied to him." We ascended the stairs up to the dorm room that I shared with Ronald Wesley, Neville Longbottom, Semus Finnegan and Dean Thomas. "Here" I said tossing her a clean pair of boxers and a t shirt for her to wear. "Go ahead and use the bathroom "When she had left I stripped down to my boxers and got into bed. My mind started to wander to my dead parents and godfather. Hermione came in and settled down beside me. I didn't want to do Occlumcy but I had to. I couldn't let Voldermort anywhere near me. Sure the connection between us had help Mr. Wesley but it had also killed my godfather. "I have to do Occlumcy" I told Hermione. I knew she knew but I didn't want her to freak if she said something and I didn't respond. "Okay, I'm going to try and leave early tomorrow morning so the guys don't find out" "Okay" I said and started to clear my mind. I drifted of to sleep soon after I had cleared my mind. The next morning I woke up to find Dean, Semus, Neville, and Ron all around my bed looking at me intently. I wondered why they were looking at me. I couldn't feel Hermione any more and I knew that she was gone so why were they staring at me I continued to question myself.