Circus Monster
Megurine Luka/ Circus Monster © Vocaloid
Warnings: Suicide.
-/-
I stared out of my cage, trying to see everyone. There wasn't much light in the dingy place, so I had to do my best. There, in the corner, stood the ringmaster, his cold blue eyes staring at me, a scowl on his face.
"A waste of money," he muttered to himself, "She can't even sing! What the hell were they doing? If they think they can get away with this; then they're wrong!" he left the tent in fury, and I felt sorrow pang my heart. What have I done wrong? I don't see my friends – why am I here? When I'm sad, I can never sing. My friend knew that…
"Hey you, you monster!" sneered a clown, and I backed away from the front of the cage in a haste, trying not to get near. "Why don't you sing us a pretty song eh? If you do, we'll let you out of the cage!" his breath stunk of beer and deep fried food from the carnival. There was no way I was going to let them do that. I kept my silence, and soon, it angered the clown. "You bitch, sing!" He rattled the bars, and smacked the top of the cage with a bowling pin, causing my sensitive ears to scream at him to stop.
"Stop that right now." It was the ringmaster. "If you have time to toy with her, then you have time to sober up and get ready for the performance." He came over, and knelt to my level, his eyes emotionless. "And you better do your part tonight, and I will personally make sure that you are never in a cage again."
"… Ok…" I whispered, and he had to strain to hear me. He gave a slight smile, his expression softening a bit.
"That's a good girl," he murmured, before vanishing; leaving me alone in the dark.
-/-
How much time had passed, I didn't know. Flame-swallowers, sword swallowers, lions and tigers walked past, the clown from earlier came by, moaning fierce about a nasty headache. They all came back, laughter, ooos and ahhs from the crowd following them. I felt a twinge of envy. I wanted to be that person; the person that brought smiles and laughter to those in the audience with my voice. Finally, it was my turn. The dressmaker had dressed me up in rich clothing, careful to not look at me directly. Why, what was wrong with me? Was there something… different about me? I was forbidden to look in the mirror, but a fleeting glance gave me a sight that made me freeze.
Green and black striped horns protruded from my head, slightly hidden by my hair. Hearing the ringmaster call out my stage name, the "Singing Demonness," I had a fleeting thought of how he was right. However… the show must go on.
That night, I was freed from my cage and put in a tent by myself. I stared unseeingly at the tent flap, a noose in my hands. I was going to end this. I didn't want to be like this anymore. I left the circus grounds, to find a tree. Finding one, I climbed up and tied the end to the branch. I fit the noose around my neck until it was snug and tight. I'm sorry, I thought, tears blurring my eyes, I'm sorry, but… I leaped from the branch, feeling a rush of acceptance and happiness flood and then, nothing.
I was a Circus Monster.