I guess you can say this has to do with my other one shot "You'll Be In My Heart." Which was set a year after Tadashi's death.
This is set a week after Tadashi's death!
Disclaimer: I do not own bh6 or the song When you're gone by Avril lavigne
It's been a week.
A week since Hiro left his room. A week since Hiro felt anything but pain. It's been a week since his dear brother Tadashi has been gone.
Hiro sat in his office chair staring at the wall in his dimly lit room. His eyes shifted to Tadashi's side of the room and a spark of pain shot through his spine.
'Why?' he often thought. Why would his brother leave him when he promised to always be there? Why did he have to be gone?
Hiro's gaze lowered as he felt the familiar burn in his eyes. He sunk deeper into his chair as the tears began to flow down his rosy round cheeks. He always wanted time on his own, always liked to be left to himself without being bothered. Yet Tadashi was always there for him no matter how insufferable Hiro was being. Tadashi was there and all Hiro could do was demand space. Who would have thought he needed Tadashi there when he cried?
After learning Tadashi was gone Hiro locked himself away refusing to see anyone. How could he? All he wanted was Tadashi, not anyone else who would look at him with pity in their eyes. Every day that has passed has felt like years to be alone, agonizingly long years. And in those days that felt like years all Hiro could do was stare at his brother's side of the room and cry.
Hiro's gazed turned towards a photo that lay on his desk. It was of him and Tadashi on the day of Hiro's high school graduation. He smiled bitterly at the photo and reached out for it. He picked it up and held it close to his chest. Now his brother wouldn't see him graduate collage. He always told Hiro he should do something "with that big brain of yours," but now Tadashi wouldn't see Hiro actually become something he could be proud of.
A sob broke through his lips as he buried his face into his hands. "Why.. why did this have to happen!" He choked out quietly as his eyes wandered to Tadashi's bed.
He stood on shaky legs and slowly made his way to his brothers bed. Hiro sniffled a bit as he rubbed his eyes trying to fight back the tears, but failed miserably. Cautiously he lay on the bed before him and buried his face into the pillows. Even though he knew Tadashi wasn't coming home he'd still make his bed every morning when he woke up. He didn't care if it wasn't normal; every time he made Tadashi's bed he felt almost happy.
He lay flat on his back staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours. Maybe it was. These days the hours seemed to pass in a blur as he watched the different colours of the sky stretch into his bedroom. Darkness consumed his room by the time he finally sat up just to stare down at his hands. He couldn't- no refused to sleep after last night. In his dream Tadashi wasn't gone anymore. He closed his eyes trying to keep the images of his dream away, but he failed.
Hiro watched himself stumble into Tadashi's side of the bedroom rubbing his eyes. He stared at his brother for a moment before hearing himself whisper, "Are you asleep Dashi?"
He felt hope bloom deep inside him when he heard his brothers reply, "Hmmm.."
"I had a bad dream.. Can I sleep here with you?" he heard himself say softly as Tadashi opened his arms welcoming Hiro.
"Just try not to kick me too much," he said with his eyes still shut.
Hiro crawled into his embrace nuzzling his face into Tadashi's chest. "I had a dream you ran into a burning building, and you never came back," he heard himself whisper just loud enough for the older to hear.
Tadashi sighed and held onto Hiro tightly. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here, I promise."
When he opened his eyes he was faced with cold, hard reality. Hiro lay on his brother's bed alone, holding his hat tightly. The rest of that night was spent with Hiro sobbing into Tadashi's hat. He should have known it was a dream, just a stupid dream that broke him when he awoke alone.
He remembered that terrible day so vividly. Every step his brother took towards that building, he counted. Every step Tadashi took towards that building took a piece of Hiro's heart. He cursed himself for having to blink.
Sometimes when he closed his eyes he could still see Tadashi running away from him and into that building. He would see the building explode with Tadashi never to come back. He felt utterly incomplete. He felt hollow almost as if he were dead too.
"Might as well be," he muttered.
A life without his brother wasn't a life he wanted. If only he could just have one more chance, one more chance to make all his mistakes right. He'd take it, no matter the cost. Hell, he'd give up his own life just to see his brother one last time, for one last hug, for one last 'I love you.' He'd die for his bother to live the life he so well deserved.
Tadashi was everything to Hiro; without him, how could he go on when he was so accustomed to seeing his face every single day of the year? How could he possibly even try to live when the words he needed to hear to get him through the day and make it okay stopped being said?
"I miss you."
He cried silently as he held himself. This wasn't something he was used to; he never felt this was before. This amount of grief was new to him, it was unknown. His parents may have died, of course he cared, but it wasn't like he knew exactly how it felt. He didn't really know them. He was only 3 when they died. In all honesty, losing Tadashi was more painful because he actually grew up with him. He was with him for years and now he was gone. Something that had always been constant in his life ceased. He was gone and Hiro hated it.
He hated how everything he did reminded him of his brother, every damn thing he did led to the thought of Tadashi. He couldn't eat, he couldn't write, and to hell with bot fighting. He couldn't even take a shower without being plagued with the thoughts of his brother and how he loved to scare the life out of Hiro when he showered. Not many people knew this, but Tadashi lived to prank. They were actually in the midst of an all out war before...
Sniffling Hiro sat at the edge of Tadashi's bed and noticed his SFIT sweat shirt laying on the ground. Quickly Hiro picked it up and with caution nuzzled his face into it, whimpering he inhaled the scent of his bother. He tried not to cry so he wouldn't risk taking his brother scent away, but he failed. He sobbed into his brother sweat shirt clutching it tightly. "It smells just like you.."
"Can't you see how much I need you right now?" He said into the cloth, hoping somehow his brother would hear him, but it was stupid and naive of him to think like that. "With you gone, so are the pieces of my heart Dashi. If I have to wake up another day and not see you..! I need- I need to hear those words! I need you to tell me you won't give up on me, 'cause if you if you're not here to keep me going, who will? Without you ... I might give up on myself," he chocked out as he pulled away from the shirt and threw himself back down onto Tadashi's pillows.
In his heart he knew Tadashi should have never died. He knew Tadashi should have lived a long and beautiful life. It was unfair how someone like his brother was gone so young. It wasn't fair how Tadashi so carelessly ran into that building, it wasn't fair how he went to help but ended up sacrificing himself in vain. It wasn't fair he left Hiro all alone even when he promised he'd always be by his side.
"How could you leave me?" He stressed the words out. "How could you be such an idiot?"
No matter what, Hiro would always think it was stupid of his brother to run into that building. Who in their right mind would do that?
"Someone has to help!" Tadashi's words rang in his ears as if it were just told to him.
He clenched the fabric of his shirt just over his heart tightly. His brother was a good person. He would never stand by and let anyone get hurt if he could stop it. That was just the kind of man Tadashi was. He was genuinely selfless and would always help those in need.
Rolling onto his side Hiro stared through blurry eyes at a photo of him and Tadashi making silly faces, and a broken laugh escaped his lips at the memory. Tadashi had been nagging him constantly that day, stating how he wanted to take pictures for memories. He was glad he agreed, because if he didn't that would have been one more thing to add to his ever growing list of regrets. Number one on that list was never saying 'I love you' enough.
Did Tadashi know just how much his brother had truly loved him? That question always popped up, successfully making Hiro ponder over the possibilities.
Thinking about it always made what was left of his heart ache in agony; this pain he felt was indescribable. It was too intense to be put into simple words. No one could understand this level of pain.
They all said the same thing. "In time it'll heal."
Would it? Could he ever really get over the fact that a life with his brother that should have been full of happiness and joy was cut so short? Impossible. Never going to happen, he was certain. Maybe the pain would become more bearable, but it would never leave him.
Every step his brother had taken away from him and towards that building had taken a piece of his heart. Tadashi had left Hiro missing almost his whole heart. What was left was filled with bitterness and pain. How the hell could he ever forget this pain? How could he not miss the face he was so used to seeing every day? How could he ever stop seeing his bother in his dreams and hoping he was there when he woke?
The only answer that fit his questions was, he couldn't. He couldn't forget the pain, he couldn't stop missing Tadashi's face every day, and he most certainty could never stop hoping his brother would be there when he woke up. He just couldn't.
"How could I have known that with you gone I'd feel this incomplete. Ow," he muttered as his chest began to clench. Then he heard something inflating just across from him.
Hiro dried his eyes as the marshmallow like robot finished inflating and wobbled over to Hiro unintentionally knocking over a few books.
"Bay... Baymax?" he uttered as the robot stood before him.
"Hello, I am Baymax your personal healthcare companion."
Still partly confused, Hiro replied. "Baymax. I forgot that you were here," he mumbled.
"I heard a sound of distress. What seems to be the trouble?"
"It's nothing really," Hiro muttered as he laid back down against the pillows covering his tear soaked face.
Baymax's chest began to light up with the familiar sight of pictures of multiple faces. "On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?"
Hiro sighed but cracked a small smile, "Physically, a zero? Honestly, I'm fine. It's nothing you can help with anyways," he muttered the last bit, then looked to Baymax and noticed him staring intently at him.
"It is okay to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain," Baymax replied as he stroked Hiro's hair back almost tenderly.
"Pain?" Yes, Hiro was in pain, but this wasn't something the robot could fix with medication or words. This was something only Hiro could overcome. Which he doubted he ever would. He tried to explain. "Tadashi is.. gone. The only thing that would make me better is him being here."
He noticed how Baymax seemed to look at him, but not really.
"Tadashi is here," the robot finally said, and Hiro swore his heart cracked.
He shook his head and bit his bottom lip. "No. Everyone keeps saying that he's not really gone as long as we remember him, but it still hurts," Hiro said, looking away from the robot.
Baymax stayed quite for several moments, unable to respond to what he was indeed seeing. It just wasn't in his program to explain that Tadashi was there, by Hiro's side, hand stroking the young boys hair back.
"Tadashi is here," he said once more.
Hiro felt his tears roll down his cheeks and into his brothers sweatshirt. He held it tightly and looked away from Baymax. "He's gone."
Baymax stared at Tadashi as he stroked Hiro's cheek, trying desperately to wipe the tears away.
Before Baymax could reply, Hiro said, "I am satisfied with my care."
With that Baymax shut off leaving Hiro alone once again.
"When you're gone I'm incomplete. I'm broken Dashi and I miss you. I miss you," Hiro whispered as he settled under the covers of Tadashi's blankets, holding the sweat shirt closely. "I miss you."
Hiro fell asleep at the comforting smell that was once his beloved brother.
"I'm so sorry. I love you Hiro. Please be happy. Please don't give up, because I'm never giving up on you," Tadashi whispered into the sleeping boys ear before disappearing suddenly.