Lady M, Seasons Beatings
By Meanbow
Ahh, Christmas...a wonderful time of the year where the world seems to be right, but all is not right in Quahog, as Lady M has to put a stop to a festive crime-wave being committed by the towns own residents. I own NONE of the Family guy Characters, only my original creations.
Part 1
Christmas in Quahog...
The town was covered with a soft, white covering of snow. People were hustling and bustling about their business...but there was a sense of merriment in the air. Christmas was fast approaching...and everyone was getting into the Christmas spirit. Meg and Neil were out in town, dressed for winter and buying gifts for their Families and friends
"Did you have to get this much in one hit?" Neil moaned, as Meg opened the trunk on her car, the Regal 5000, for him
"You should know me by now, Neil...all, or nothing" Meg replied "plus I want to get everything whilst I still got some money left" she added, as he dumped the presents in the trunk
"Still...there's another week to go yet..." He answered "we still got time"
"And I suppose you are all sorted?" Meg questioned him
"Rah..." Neil went, then went quiet
"I knew it..." Meg replied "Who haven't you bought for?"
Neil blushed, then shook his head slowly
"I aught to brain you..." Meg went "you are the most..." she started, then was grabbed by the arms and kissed by Neil to shut her up
"Pardon me, Meg...but my Micro jammer is getting cold" the voice of her car, N.I.C.K.I went. Meg and Neil broke apart, and Meg closed the trunk lid, and then headed for the drivers door, but noticed Neil had stopped and was looking at a poster in the theatre window
'For 1 week only...be amazed and entertained by the mind bending antics of...Hypno Tim the Hypnotist. Tickets on sale now at the Quahog Theatre'
Meg shook her head "why'd you want to go see that? It's all a load of rubbish"
"My Mum likes stuff like that...I think I've just found her the perfect present..." Neil went, smiling as he entered the foyer to buy the tickets
On Spooner Street, Peter came running in to the house with a loud cry "LOIS! GUESS WHAT?"
Lois was in the kitchen, going through her Christmas checklist to make sure she had everything covered "What, Peter?" she replied as he came into the Kitchen
"Look what I got for us..." he went excitedly, then passed her 4 tickets
"A Hypnotist? Oh Peter!" Lois went with shock, as she looked at the tickets. Peter stood there bouncing on his heels and going "ehhhhhhhhhhh"
Meg and Neil came out from the theatre, Neil holding on to a pair of tickets
"That's my mum's present sorted...plus she can take her boyfriend with her..." Neil went
"I hope you realise that the show you bought tickets for is TONIGHT, Neil..." Meg went, as she looked at the date on the ticket, then checked her watch feature on the M-orpher
Neil then checked the tickets himself... "Oh dear...can we go round to see my mum, hun?" he asked with a goofy grin on his face
A few minutes later, Meg and Neil pulled up outside Neil's Mothers' house on Warwick Avenue. Neil's fully repaired Buick was sat outside, under the canopy...whilst his Jeep was on the driveway, covered in snow...along with a Volkswagen Beetle belonging to his mums Boyfriend
"I'll follow you back to your place, Meg...I may be a while" he went as he climbed out of the car, then leant back in and gave her a kiss "I'll try not to be too long"
"Meet me at my Parents house...I'm going to drop the presents off to them first" she replied as he closed the door and nodded he understood. The Regal 5000 pulled off and headed towards Spooner Street
Meg stopped her car outside her Parents house. Outside of his house, Joe Swanson, his wife Bonnie and their baby girl were building a snowman on the front lawn
"Hi Joe...Hi Bonnie" she called and waved as she got out of the car and headed up the cleared path to the front door
Joe and Bonnie waved back as she entered the house "Happy Holiday's Meg" Joe called back
Once inside, Meg pulled off her beanie, scarf, and jacket and went "Mum...Dad...Chris. You guys here?"
Suddenly Peter leaps out from the doorway to the kitchen, and then stops when he see's who it was
"Hi Meg" he went, then walked slowly towards her and hugged her
"Hi Dad...Happy Holidays" she went as she returned the hug
Lois came out of the kitchen "Meg!"
"Hey mom...Merry Christmas" she went as Lois joined in the hug. Meg then added "I got your Presents in my car"
"Awe, sweetie" Lois went as both herself and Peter broke away "You are quite organised, isn't you?"
Meg smiled "well...thanks to you guys" she replied, then asked "where's Chris?"
"He took Stewie Carolling with a few of his friends. They should be back home soon" Lois went "now let's all go to the kitchen and have some hot cocoa..."
"Call them, Lois...I don't want to miss the show..." Peter went.
Meg looked at him with curiosity "Show?" she asked
"Hum...your Father bought tickets to a hypnotist's show tonight, Meg" Lois added "I suppose I'd better call Chris's Cell phone and tell him..."
"Not you as well..." Meg went, shaking her head "It's a good job me and Neil have plans for tonight..."
Part 2
The Show
A few hours later, Peter, Lois, Chris and Stewie arrived at Quahog Theatre. They were directed to their seats, only to find that they had been seated next to Charley and her Boyfriend, whom she introduced as Anthony. The lights in the theatre went dim, and music started playing, with lights flashing and spinning...then a voice boomed out from the speakers
"Ladies and Gentlemen, and children of all ages...prepare for the most amazing, mind expanding, mind controlling evening of your lives. Prepare to enter the incredible world of...hypno Tim!"
Stage fireworks exploded, and the curtains swung back to reveal a man standing there in a suit and tie, and holding on to a small coin on a chain. He raised his left hand, and a spotlight started to scan over the crowd...it then stopped on Peter
"You...have been selected. Please join me on stage..." Hypno Tim went, then moved his left hand again and moved the light to another person. In total, the spotlight stopped on 6 people...who all joined Tim on stage. He began his act by putting them under his control, and making them do silly things. He made Peter "act like a giant chicken". Peter started walking around the stage clucking and scratching to the audience's delight, but Ernie the Giant Chicken and his family walked out, offended by Peter's antics. By the end of the show...the audience gave Tim and his 'volunteers' a round of applause. He took a bow, then said "thank you all...now I must release my volunteers. If you are family, they will join you in a few moments...totally unharmed. Thank you" the curtains closed and the audience started to leave the auditorium, while the families of the volunteers waited in the foyer. Peter, Charley and the other 4 people emerge from the backstage area and joined their families.
"Ehhhhh, did you see me Lois? Wasn't I good?"
"You were really funny, Dad" Chris replied
"As much as it pains me to say it, but for once...you were funny, Fat man" Stewie answered
Backstage, Hypno Tim was gloating
"That's it, my puppets. Return to your lives...soon I will call on you...you will do my bidding, and I shall be rich...and...untouchable" he gloated, then burst into an evil sounding laugh
Part 3
The first of the unwary crooks...
Later that week, Lady M was cruising around Quahog in her car. The Regal 5000 was in its morphed state of purple over black, and the plate LADY M 1 on show.
"I love this time of year, Nicki" Lady M went "so peaceful, so beautiful"
"This is my first Christmas in this shell. I was in development for 5 years and saw 5 Christmas's from inside a terminal" N.i.c.k.i's holographic head replied "I am excited to experience a real Christmas in the real world"
"Neil...I mean, Dark Walker, has already decided what he's going to give you...a full soft waxing and buffing" Lady M smirked as she said that
"My shell is tingling with anticipation, M" N.i.c.k.i replied. Just then, a woman wearing all black and a mask ran across the road just in front of the Regal 5000. N.I.C.K.I applied her power brakes, and a set of short stud spikes shot out of the tires to give her extra grip and stop quickly. The woman in black ran into a shop on the other side of the road.
Lady M wound the power window down and shouted "Why don't you watch where you're running?"
The shop that the woman ran into suddenly sounded its alarm, and she comes running back out with a bag over her shoulder. Lady M opened the door and began running after the woman
"Come back here!" M shouted as she pulled her ball-a-rang out and began spinning it around her head, then let it fly after the woman thief. It wrapped itself around her legs and made her fall flat on her front, spilling the contents of the bag everywhere. M then pounced and turned the woman around, taking the mask off her face and revealing...
"Charley...err, I mean Mrs Carlisle!" Lady M went with shock on her face as she recognised her, and held her down by her arms
Charley spat at Lady M "I am 1 of 6...we shall not be stopped" she went angrily, just as a Police car pulled up and two officers got out quickly and took hold of her, securing her and loading her into the back of their car. Lady M stood there looking at her as the police car pulled off, heading towards the station...
Lady M shook her head in disbelief "I know someone who isn't going to like this..." she started, and then pressed the communications button on her M-orpher...
An hour later, Neil and Meg arrived at Quahog police station to collect Charley Carlisle. Neil was still shaking his head in disbelief
"I can't believe what Lady M did..." he went, glaring at Meg "that's my mother!"
"How was she supposed to know that?" Meg snapped back, and then pushed the doors to the station open and they walked up to the front desk
"We're here to see Lt Swanson..." Meg went to the desk sergeant, who nodded and then called Joe from the back of the station. Lt Swanson rolled up to the front desk.
"You here to collect your mum?" he asked Neil. Neil nodded his head solemnly
"She doesn't even recall doing it..." Joe added, as they all headed towards the Cell area "she keeps saying she had a phone call at home, where no-one spoke, then a shrill noise...next thing she knows she's screaming her lungs off to be let out"
"Neil! Thank goodness!" Charley called out as they entered the holding area and she saw Neil, Meg and Joe. Joe nodded to the guard on duty...who went and unlocked the cell door and held it open for her. Neil held his arms open and his Mum jogged into them and hugged him
"Now then, Mrs Carlisle...the shop owner does not wish to press charges...if you agree to do a few hours unpaid work in his shop for him" Joe went. Charley nodded her head "Very well then...you're free to go"
A few minutes later Neil, Meg and Charley emerged from the station and headed towards Meg's car. Neil was trying to find out exactly what happened
"As I told them...I don't remember anything. One minute I was in the house doing some cleaning, and then the telephone rang. I answered the phone, said hello...and heard a shrill noise. Next thing I can remember was finding me in the back of a police car, screaming for them to let me out" Charley recalled
"What kind of shrill noise?" Meg asked as she opened the door to the car and held the seat forwards for her to get in the back
"Kind of like a dog whistle...you know, really high pitched" Charley replied. Meg and Neil looked across the roof of the car at each other. They then climbed in the car and headed for the Carlisle residence
Part 4
Agent 6
The rest of the week Lady M, Dark Walker, Mischievous and the Police were kept busy chasing after 4 others...they each identified themselves as a number, and all described the same scenario...they all were at home, they all had a phone call, they all heard a shrill noise...then they all woke up soon after being arrested.
"This is crazy..." Lady M went to Joe "what's going on here?"
"As far as I know...we are in the middle of a festive crime spree, Lady M" Joe replied
"It can't just be as random as that, Joe...it seems too...organised" M replied "there has to be something that connects these people and these attempted thefts"
"They all said the same thing...phone call, shrill noise, no memory until we arrest them" Joe answered
"Who was the last one we arrested?" Lady M asked
"Called himself number 5, but we know him better as Mr Montana, from Rosemount Road. As with all the others...no previous" Joe replied, looking at the computer screen in front of him
"Any luck on tracing the phone calls?" She went
"All made from public phone boxes..." Joe replied. Lady M nodded her head
"OK, Joe...thanks" she added, and then got up and left. She headed down towards her car and got in
"OK N.i.c.k.i...Can you access the public phone systems and run me a trace on the calls made to the people involved in the crimes?" Lady M asked as n.i.c.k.i bought up a virtual display of the town. N.i.c.k.i then connected the phone calls made to the homes of those involved. Lady M stared at the map and looked at the locations, when n.i.c.k.i spoke up
"Lady M...I have triangulated a pattern...please observe..." the virtual voice went, and then began joining up the locations of the phone boxes. They formed a hexagon shape, with the Quahog Theatre at its centre.
"The Theatre?" Lady M questioned, then realised something...
"The Hypnotist!" she went "this all started the day after his show here in town...I knew I didn't like it"
Meanwhile, in his dressing room at the rear of the Theatre, Hypno Tim was furious
"DAMN THIS TOWN!" he cursed "can't anybody here make a decent criminal?" he went to himself as he looked at the latest copy of the Quahog Chronicle, its headline story saying 'Police and Lady M arrest another person in Festive crime spree'
Hypno Tim stood up and headed towards the door "I have one more chance to leave with something more than the box office takings..." he went as he left, and headed out towards another payphone...
In the Griffin Household, Peter was watching TV and Lois was in the Kitchen feeding Stewie, when the house phone rang. Lois called out "PETER! Get the phone...I'm feeding Stewie!"
Peter grumbled then got out of his spot on the sofa and picked up the lounge phone "Hello" he went. A shrill noise was suddenly heard, and Peter's eyes glazed over. He then replied "Yes, master?"
"Good...you are my last hope, Number 6. I want you to go to the Quahog Museum and steal the Caronia Diamonds that are currently on display there. Wear a disguise. Once you have done that, meet me at the Quahog Mall, by the Grotto...do you understand?" Hypno Tim went
"I understand, Master" Peter replied, and then put down the phone. He then proceeded upstairs to their bedroom and opened the wardrobe...and pulled out a Santa outfit. He changed into it, and added a mask which he put on under his glasses. He then headed downstairs and towards the front door, saying in a non-emotional voice "Lois...I'm going out for a bit. Do not worry"
Lois called back "Brink milk with you when you return" as he closed the door and headed towards his beat-up Dodge...
Peter's Dodge pulled up outside the museum, and Peter got out. He headed up the steps and into the museum. He looked around and saw the sign pointing towards the Caronia Diamond collection. He then headed towards them. Once in the room, he saw a guard at the other end of the room, looking out over the room. Peter headed straight towards the guard and went "Excuse me..." the guard looked down at the man in the Santa outfit and looked puzzled. Suddenly Peter pulled his right hand back and hit the guard squarely in the face, knocking him out cold with one blow. He then went around to the other side of the guards post and disarmed the security, before walking over and picking up the Diamonds and pouring them into a sack. He then casually walked out of the room and headed towards the front door, when another Guard came running out after him
"HEY...YOU STOP!" he went, and grabbed him by his shoulder. Peter turned around and nailed the second Guard full on in the face, sending him reeling to the floor. Peter broke out into a run, just as the Lady on reception saw what happened and pushed the panic alarm.
"M...the panic alarm has been pressed at the Museum...shall we drive round and investigate?" n.i.c.k.i asked, and displayed a flashing red dot on the museum
"Manual control's, n.i.c.k.i" Lady M went, and the pedals, wheel and gearstick deployed to manual driving position. The engine sequence completed, and the turbine whirred into life...pushing the power to the rear wheels and making them spin wildly, before shooting off and heading towards the museum
Part 5
The Mall...
The Regal 5000 came powering around the corner, and narrowly avoided hitting a fast moving, red Dodge Station wagon that was heading in the opposite direction. The car stopped outside the museum and Lady M jumped out quickly and ran up to the museum, hoping to catch the crook still inside...
"Hold it right...there?" Lady M went as she burst in through the doors, stun gun at the ready
"He's already left..." the receptionist went, looking up from attending the guard that had tried to stop the crook "he sped off in a waiting car"
Lady M turned and sprinted back out the doors and towards her car. She slid over the hood and landed on the drivers' side, opened the door and got in. She then looked at the console and spoke to n.i.c.k.i
"Patch me through to Dark Walker, nicki" she went...
Over the other side of town, Neil was helping to clear the driveway of snow, when his watch went off. He turned his wrist to see who it was, then looked around to make sure no-one was looking, and then answered...
"Go ahead..."
"M here...I need him to do something for me...go to the Quahog Theatre and locate Hypno Tim, and follow him. I'm sure he's the mastermind behind the crime wave. I'm in pursuit of another one who doesn't know what they're doing"
"Understood M...DW...over and done" Neil replied. He then shoved the shovel into a pile of snow and walked over to his jeep and got in. He started it up, reversed onto the road, then slammed it into drive...and pushed a button on the dashboard "I am the terror that walks the night..."
A few minutes later, Dark Walker and his ride pulled up outside the Theatre. He got out and walked up to the front doors and pushed them...they were locked, so he went around to the stage door and forced it open. Once inside, he looked around and started checking the props and scenery, when he hears a voice behind him...
"You are feeling sleepy...your eyes are getting heavy, you cannot stay awake...listen to my voice and obey my commands..." it went. DW spun round and was face to face with hypno Tim, who had a small, golden coin spinning slowly on a chain "follow the coin...hear my voice...you will obey them..."
Dark Walker stood there...his eyes fluttering, then closing. Hypno Tim smirked
"You are under my command...you will obey no-one but me, do you understand?" he went. Dark Walker nodded and replied "yes...my master"
"Excellent...now then, my puppet...drive me to Quahog Mall...we have to meet someone..."
Lady M had caught up with, and followed, the red station wagon towards the outskirts of town, to Quahog Mall. The car stopped outside and a person dressed as Santa got out, with a large sack over his shoulder. Lady M got out and started to follow the Santa suit-wearing Peter at a distance, when she noticed a lot of people were looking at her in her winter suit...so she ducked away and morphed back into Meg. Meg then strolled out and followed him towards the Grotto, where he stood and waited. Meg got close enough to get a good look at the man...and had a shock
"DAD!" she went as she approached him "what are you doing here...dressed like that?"
Peter didn't flinch. Instead, he turned and started walking back towards the entrance...so Meg put her hand on his shoulder and tried to stop him...Peter turned around and hit Meg hard in the stomach. Meg doubled over...winded
"No-one can stop Number 6. I will complete my task" he went in a non-emotional, almost robotic voice. The Mall's security guards came running after witnessing the attack on the CCTV camera's and tried to restrain him...but he was too strong for them, throwing them away like ragdolls. Meg struggled to her feet after her winding, and tried to find somewhere to change when she noticed two people walking towards the scene of the fight...one of whom she recognised instantly. Hypno Tim smirked as he approached, and then went "take care of these nuisances for me..." to Dark Walker. Dark Walker pulled his sonic scrambler out and pressed the button on it and aimed it at the guards. The guards covered their ears and cried out in pain, then dropped to the floor stunned. Hypno Tim laughed loudly...
"Excellent, my puppets...number 6...give me the sack..." he went and held his hand out. Peter handed the sack to Tim, who then went "you two will stay here and protect my getaway...do you understand?"
Both Peter and Dark Walker nodded and went "yes, master"
With that said, Tim headed back towards the doors and Dark Walkers' ride
Part 6
Unhappy landings...
Meg ducked inside the Grotto. There was no-one in there, so she pressed her morph button and turned back into Lady M. She wasted no time in making her presence known...kicking the door to the Grotto open and giving both her Father and her Boyfriend the evil eye
"Just what do you think you are doing?" she went, a little out of breath as she was still recovering from the blow dished out by her Dad
Dark Walker stared at her "you will not stop us, Lady M...for I am the greatest hero who ever lived"
Lady M shook her head and went quietly "In your dreams, Neil..." and she dropped a couple of stun smoke pellets into her hand from her utility belt and threw them at the two of them. They exploded and quickly took effect, making them feel dizzy. She then leapt at them and knocked them down easily, and paid Peter back for the cheap shot to her stomach with a hard kick in his gut, and slapping Dark Walker round the face to try and bring him round. He stirred, then opened his eyes slowly, and bought his right hand up to his head
"nghh...my aching head..." he went, then noticed Lady M was standing over him
"M?" he went, looking at her perplexed, while she knelt down and checked on her father "what happened?"
"His mind tricks worked on you...now we got to catch him and recover those stolen jewels..." M went, then stood up and started jogging towards the Mall entrance. Dark Walker got up to his feet, and then followed her out...
The Regal 5000 pulled up at the entrance and opened it's doors "I saw someone make off in Dark Walkers Dark rider...and they knew how to use the turbo thrusters" n.i.c.k.i went as they got in
Dark Walker blushed as he got in "I showed him..."
"Great...I hope you can keep up, nicki..." M replied
"Deploying snow grips...engaging Overdrive..." the computer replied. The anamorphic shell began to shift shape, becoming lower and more menacing...the engine covers slid back and uncovered the power plant for better cooling and induction, the nose became more angular and pointed, the back of the cabin became lower . M and Dark Walker were taken aback by the transformation, when n.i.c.k.i once again spoke "may I suggest you use the seat belts?"
They both hurriedly put on the belts, and n.i.c.k.i made the manual controls pull back, then its engine roared and shot off down the road at a ridiculous speed after the stolen Dark rider
"I didn't know you could do this..." M half-shouted over the very loud turbine noise
"How else could I have kept up with you that day I saw you in Providence?" n.i.c.k.i replied, then added "i have located the dark rider...it is at the Airport"
At the Airport, Hypno Tim was starting up his Piper Aeroplane rather hurriedly, as he knew he would be chased. He pulled out onto the runway and began to build speed, when a strange purple and black car came powering onto the runway and began to chase the plane. He pushed the throttle controls full open and tried to outrun the car, when Lady M wound down the window and aimed her cane at the plane and fired off the grapple hook...it embedded itself in the wing of the plane and ruptured the fuel tank, sending fuel spewing out everywhere and causing the plane to lose power. Lady M then hooked the cane onto the pillar of the doorframe, and deployed the brakes on the car...bringing both itself and the plane to a halt on the runway. Both Lady M and Dark Walker got out and ran over to the plane, Lady M yanking the pilot's door open...
"This is one bird that won't be flying south for the winter..." she went, and pulled him from the plane and cuffed him, whilst Dark Walker looked inside and pulled out the sack containing the stolen jewels, a cash box with the box office takings, and some small valuables taken from his 'volunteers' that week...
Part 7
Festive greetings
A few minutes later, Airport security had taken Hypno Tim into custody, while they waited for the police to arrive and take him away. Lady M smiled, just as it started to snow again...
"Another criminal bought down..." Dark Walker went as he stood next to Lady M and smiled
"No thanks to you...numbskull" she replied as she turned to look at him "I am the world's greatest hero indeed" she mocked him
"At least I can remember our engagement..." DW replied, and then tapped his watch...
"Oh...my...god...the Christmas lights!" M went as she rushed over to the car and got in, then wheel spun off quickly and started heading towards the town square...
At the town square, Mayor West was impatiently checking his watch...then the clock tower, and then his other watch "Where is she?" he went nervously "this cant look good to the voters..." a loud screech of tires from behind the podium makes him look back, then a voice comes out over the PA system set up for the day...
"I am...Lady M" the voice went, and then a curtain drew back to reveal her standing there. A few cheers and claps emanated from the gathered crowds, and Mayor West had a look of huge relief on his face...
Mayor West stood up and walked forwards, then held his hand out for Lady M as she stepped forwards. Up front, she recognised a few people in the crowds...Chase, Charley, her mom, Chris, Stewie, Joe and Bonnie and their baby, Quagmire, and a few of her neighbours from Spooner Street. She smiled small at them, but had a thought in her head whilst she did... 'Would they cheer Meg Griffin...if they knew the truth?'
"Ladies and Gentlemen...thank you all for coming. Today...we ask a local hero to do the honours of turning on our festive lights, but also to honour her...since this...mysterious young woman burst onto the scene here in Quahog...crime has been cut drastically. We all know her from the news, but today...she is here in person...I give you...Lady M" Mayor West went, and Lady M stepped forward
"Thank you, Mayor West..." Lady M replied, trying to cover her voice so no-one would recognise it, then went "countdown from 5...5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."
Lady M pushed the oversized button, and the festive tree lit up with all its decorations, and the rest of the festive lights around the square blazed into light, gaining a round of applause from the crowd. At the back, she noticed two people pull up in a white Jeep and get out... Neil had gone back and picked up her Father from the Mall and helped him to her family. He then looked up and smiled at her, then mouthed 'I love you' to her. Mayor West then grabbed the microphone and shouted "Conga line behind me...chacha cha chacha cha!"
Lady M shook her head, then turned slowly around and disappeared behind the stage...then Meg walked around the side of the stage and over to her Family, her Boyfriend, and his Family. Neil embraced Meg and kissed her on her forehead "Merry Christmas, Meg"
"Merry Christmas, Neil" she replied
A/N whatever holiday you choose to celebrate at this time of year, make sure you enjoy it...from Lady M, all my characters and myself, we wish you Happy Holidays!