A/N: Sigh and roll your eyes at me if you must, my favorite pairings are my own. -swoons- But, believe it or not, this pairing and two others: stokeshipping & tensaishipping—but I will keep one a secret—are my faves when it comes to shota. x3 If I said the unmentioned pairing I'll expect somewhere in the world to hiss at me. LOL. I'm not a fan of girlpowershipping, but if it's a side pairing in something…I'll read it, I could deal with it, too. 83 I have a bunch of stuff just lined up to be posted, but until I give it a "meh, w/e"-approval, it's not going up. (If I post them all this -sucky- author will have 38 published stories. x)
Dedicated: Oro Makoto Hayama, and dun yew worry. You're one-shot is still in progress (sadly).
Extra note: The usual. But song lyrics are like 'this.'
What's to be included: Signofwarmth shipping (no loli, I made her as an adult. I don't like/get this shipping at all, but I need a real chara instead of a fake one), swearing, shota, smoking,males kissing (or more accurately a guy kissing a boy), fake science to be considered real science, cyborgs, music lyrics popping frequently (beware the taste!), and definitely more. (I would reveal more if I actually had the entire chapters deciphered in my little filled mind.)
Summary: Note to self: never listen or rely on Flint for any significant help of ever obtaining a decent relationship. You might end up shocked to see a kid inside a box. Stokeshipping.
Disclaimer: You know what's to be expected, I won't bother anymore. ;3;
ηøω ωнαт?
Volkner wanted to drag Flint to the ninth circle of hell where he would casually wave to the lord of the underworld, introduce his best friend, and then leave Flint soon after. If someone asked Volkner if he cared what would happen to Flint soon after, he would casually give the famous movie reply: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
He slammed the door shut behind him, slowly dragging himself towards the blue sofa to cave in, devoid of a care except the protracted twinge from the hand print left on his cheek that twitched in pain once he tried to crack a malicious grin, his head was caught in a turbulent ride of stable frustration with a good dosage of mild anger in just a course of three hours. The cogs in his head were gradually turning, compromising with his dying conscious on a flawless revenge on the bane of his existence. The moment his face met the blue cushions the cynical tyrants in his head were formulating their plan. Luxray eyed the weary gym leader skeptically after sensing a thick aura of pessimism and nonsensical diabolical intentions; the pokémon stood up on all fours and nudged Volkner with its snout, accompanied by a whimpering sound formed in the back of its throat. The gym leader turned his head—partially because he was suffocating under the thick plush of the sofa's cushions—his long fingers combed through the black knots in lion's mane.
Luxray purred, almost instantly the lion sensed its trainer discomfort in silence, silently Luxray stalked over to turn the surround system with it tail, the volume tilted loud enough to vibrate through Volkner's skull but soft enough that Luxray would not go deaf. How the two were able to accommodate to each others taste went beyond comprehension for the groaning male, he twirled his finger in the air to indicate to switch the song. The dial clicked on command by the swift flick of Luxray's tail; in content the pokémon casually strolled by its owner side, purring when the gentle touches ran through its mane.
For a brief moment Luxray's eyes flickered over the door, the hair rising threateningly as it observed the front door with hostility. Volkner sat erected from his spot, piercing aqua eyes dangerously narrowing in slits; in a hushed whisper he asked his pokémon: "Who is it?"
Luxray made a combination of a vicious growl and an abused whimper…Volkner sighed through his nose when he understood the manner his pokémon communicated with him. Behind the door lied one frightening admirer, better known as Meghan, and a poor excuse of a best friend. As confirmed when his mind echoed 'idiot,' Flint energetically tapped on Volkner's door as he patiently waited for it to open. Some blatant lies were spouted out of Flint's mouth, evidently on Meghan's side as he pleaded to Volkner to forgive her. Blue eyes lazily rolled, he was truly the paragon of maturity when he snickered at his Luxray and whispered in the lion's ear.
The blond man returned to the comfort of his sofa, finally indulging the lyrics playing quite loudly – it was a major surprise he could still hear Flint over his surround system; another mystery to be filed about the Red Gumball, regardless he rubbed his cheek from the stinging pain when he just grinned. Across the room Luxray lifted its x-shaped tail; the lion's tail sparked with bright electricity as it smoothly brushed it against the door and resting it on the knob. Those well developed eyes were use for a respectable purpose. Luxray smirked as Flint touched the knob while the wretched woman decided to lean on the door. In a matter of seconds they were yelping from the intense electric shock running through their bodies—unfortunately its trainer made it clear not to kill them—and finally the lion declared triumph in its own dialect.
Blue irises scanned the room for the remote control, he only shrugged and plopped his legs on the coffee table, and casually he slouched comfortably on his couch as he drummed his fingers against the armrest.
"You know that was uncalled for, Volkner! Don't make-" Flint paused for a second, reconsidering his intentions since the door could still be surging with deathly bolts of electricity. Again he continued, "Just open this door!"
Volkner absently bobbed his foot, snickering in his mind the door was completely guarded from a psychotic ex-girlfriend and a childhood friend. "Psycho man, yes I can, do it all over for you, yeah," Volkner silently repeated as the lyrics rolled on. Luxray rested in the corner of the room, bobbing its head to the magnificence of having completely tuned out Flint with the power of gracious music.
"It was my mistake, Volky. Please open the door; we can make it work again!" Meghan cooed as loud as she can. The blond wished he could smirk in victory considering how much she despised this song and would be willing to tolerate it to rekindle such a "horrible relationship," in Volkner's opinion.
'She's a killer! She's a thriller! Spookshow baby!'
Blue eyes flickered over to the clock ticking away, eight minutes in passing and the horrid screamers on the other side of his door should have assumed the scenario: depart in failure. Finally the gym leader can finally relax in peace and without so much of a disturbance from that strange Meghan who was adamantly against wearing something other than her pikachu sweater at every "date." Flint would only tease his best friend, so Volkner had to rely on Luxray or Raichu to confess the terrible mishaps that usually occurred in Meghan's fantasies, ultimately leading to the awful outcome of every date. It took her awhile, Volkner admitted, before she finally cracked from the man's apathetic attitude that she released a scream—a scream that even a loudred would be proud of—then slapped him square on the cheek. He could remember a few hours ago: her ungraceful movements as she wretched herself out of the car, fully expecting "Volkner to apologize and ask her to return back inside."
'She's a killer! She's a thriller! Spookshow baby!'
He would not deny he was lacking enthusiasm to properly enjoy life, all the excitement died on inadequate trainers, a few relationships, and his pokémon's sly tendencies to hide his box of cigarettes. All health issues can be damned; he gave up on caring far too long ago, as well as listening to Gardenia's second attempted advice to hug a tree. She insisted that it might clear his thoughts, might reconsider giving nature a new perspective because life allowed it to be graced with beauty – all was great before a swarm of unhappy beedrills were buzzing from the invasion of their territory and gave both gym leaders a run for their lives inside the Old Chateau. Afterwards a swarm of ghost pokémon were mocking him, making Gardenia scream like a rabid whismur, and by the end of the day he had the worst migraine.
He was not a happy camper that day.
Things only got worse. Volkner assumed his life was meant to be tormented by Arceus and its liege of sadistic legendary companions, if the alpha had any.
Flint had slowly begun to grow aware the energy Volkner possessed was only for the future shaping of Sunyshore City, out of the blue he popped inside the lighthouse to witness the blond gym leader observing the inhabitants of the city overhead with his Raichu—he was able to sigh out of relief because the black fuzzball, a luxio at the time, had this odd antagonism towards him ever since it was a shinx—with such soulless blue orbs. He gave Volkner a friendly pat on the shoulder, rambled anything that struck him as interesting, and finally spread his arms wide in front of Volkner.
"There is a big world other there, Volkner," he said matter-of-factly, his smiles were contagious that even Volkner found his lips twitching slightly. "I'm going to find you a girlfriend. No need to thank me, I so understand!" He rubbed his nose in modesty, as if being praised for being a local town hero.
It was the first time in months Volkner showed more of an expression than his usual neutral frown: his face completely paled, blue eyes grew bigger, and his mouth was hanging ajar only by a good few centimeters.
The conversation went like this:
Volkner asked plainly, "You're going to find me a girlfriend?"
Red Gumball laughed, "I'm going to find you a girlfriend."
Volkner's face went without color for a few seconds, as he repeated in a verse of a statement for confirmation. "You're going to find me a girlfriend." He stopped, scoffed, and left. His finger violently pressed the 'close door' insignia on the button.
The word 'trouble' may have been a pure understatement of the girl Flint introduced Volkner through force. Everything from then on was just an awful prelude to a ludicrous finale:
Meghan wanted to talk, Volkner wanted to fix his broken ear bud. She wanted to hold hands, he felt like eating garlic bread. She suggested a French restaurant, he suggested Chinese take-out. She wanted romance flicks, he wanted mind-bending psychological-thriller horror films. She wanted to kiss, he wanted to remove the dirt from under his fingernails. She tried to progress things to the bed, he had the strangest urge to make the bed.
Nothing went according to plan; she bolted when Volkner warned her not to prod too close to his bed because Luxray and Raichu claimed a section to sleep on or they become very destructive when strangers invaded that particular space. Volkner threw his head back, closing his eyes to forget all horrible noticeable signs of a relationship that should have never meant to be. The man bit down on his lips, pursing his eyebrows when he relied on his Luxray to give him an answer to an unrelenting question bothering him to no end.
"It's not me, is it?" Volkner groaned instantly when he muttered that straight out of his lips, what possessed him to ask out his character will forever pile in mindless questions. Luxray lifted a paw, swaying left and right before curling into a ball – the pokémon made a so-so gesture. So it's somehow me, too…?
'Causin' problems makes you famous, all the violence makes a statement. Punch your lights out, hit the pavement, that's what I call entertainment.'
Volkner lowered the volume when the phone gave a desperate bell chime—so there's remote!—he felt the need to check the time, alarmingly two hours have passed while Volkner was dulling his life out recallling his life and times with insane Meghan. He twirled the remote in his hand, the remainder of his conscious disapprovingly lecturing not the kill the line when Flint voiced a melodic "heeeey~"
A pregnant pause registered. Flint rolled his eyes. "So I messed up. I heard the story by some passerby. In return for my innocent mistake," hah! Innocent my foot, "I'm going to work hard to make it up to you."
Volkner groaned.
"Not to worry, this time I can't be wrong!"
Volkner snorted.
"Appreciation would be great, thanks."
Volkner scoffed.
"Your attitude is a lot to be desired, you know that?"
Volkner heartily laughed.
"That's better. Alright, I've been the perfect guy on the scenes if this little wonder I'm hearing is worth it. Results, from my intel, are awesome. In my mind I have no more qualms but to rest myself back at my laptop to get this little baby started. Trust me, you'll be thanking me in a heartbeat," the sounds of typing were plainly heard, "I won't give you the details until you receive the info yourself. Man, I won't even have to do much besides hope!"
An awkward silence followed. Volkner blinked a few times and paled, "You're not making me an account for E-Harmony, right…?"
"What? No! Even better! Cool yourself, Volkner, it's not even a dating website…uh…just trust me on this!"
That was it. Once he began to answer to a file of questions it felt like he sold his very soul to a dusknoir. Luxray had been timely disturbed from its nap, through the feline's curiosity and selfish-to-spoil nature it gently curled up near Volkner's lap—as both sat on the sofa—and long, slender fingers were there to stroke the thick mane. Hearing the Red Gumball over the phone had fished the possessive nature from the lion, its ear close to the phone to hear all communication. The lion grunted when the flood of questions were endless, Flint's mouth could rant on forever and he would only need a sip of water to keep on talking, the urge to growl was something every bit inside the blue pokémon needed to contain whilst the fingers smoothly ran down its spine.
After that one single call Flint has not considered dropping a call, this left blue hues fixated on the phone to ring for a complete explanation to the peculiar Q&A. Nothing has occurred in two days, three days, one week, one week and half, and finally Volkner almost scrambled across the room to pry the phone off the receiver and give Flint a call after so much consumed time. Before he could punch in the last number, Luxray skid through the hallways, examining with its gifted eyes an intruder planting a rather large wooden crate in the front door.
Luxray was rather curious than on guard, Volkner felt a churning feel in the pit of his stomach turning the knob counterclockwise to be face-to-face with wooden crate and a rather grumpy gentleman who repeated "sign here, please" in a monotone chord whilst Volkner could only stare at the crate. He did sign; the man then hauled the box inside-
"I never ordered anything," Volkner told him.
He shrugged and tugged his hat, "I bet, but of course it's not in my job description to care. I only deliver and that's that. Good day, sir."
Blue eyes followed the man until he was out the door; he nearly scoffed when people mentioned he had an attitude. Pushing aside the scene from his head, Volkner flipped the gelid hinges on the vertical sides of crate, finally prying off the cover to expose something rather…
"'Ray…" the pokémon muttered.
Uh, yeah, that's the word.
A child, his appearance is that of ten or eleven-year old, blinked slowly. No clothes but in his hands a small manual adorned with a pink lace rested. Inside the first few pages where several descriptions that matched accurately on what he informed Flint, hell it even said Flint's name for the "from - to" section! Volkner has always been gifted to pick up on things quickly; he felt he remotely understood after flipping through several of the pages about this "Lucas"-child…
The boy stirred, startling both Volkner and his faithful Luxray as they physically flinched. A shade of pink crept on black-haired boy's face as he wrapped his arms around Volkner's neck.
Volkner cracked.
The blond shot up—Lucas was still clinging on, now whimpering from the sudden jerk the Volkner's movement—and continued his pace from last time as he violently pressed the remaining digit. The line buzzed a few rounds before he could perfectly hear his darlin' best friend.
"Yo, did'ja-"
The burn in his cheek died weeks ago, his nails were pressing harshly on the plastic of his home phone and his eyebrow twitched in a ravenous rage. Flint was safe, for now, he could not visualize or catch the sight of the sinister chuckle soon radiating from Volkner's menacing smile, nonetheless he was at least smiling even after those past few weeks. For a brief moment Luxray felt certainly intimidated by the massive choking atmosphere, but after grasping it's from Flint demise the lion could only give a toothy grin.
"You're a dead man, Flint."
A/N: I was only curious if there were more hetero couples with Volkner, signofwarmthshipping was one of them. Youtube it and you'll see who Meghan is and can "WTF" like I did. Those trainers aren't even important, but who am I to bash? I heard of more ridiculous pairings: solemateshipping - Ash's left shoe x Ash's right shoe. Yeah…weird is such an understatement. Next chapter will hopefully come soon and might be better, so don't give up on me now though. For once I actually like it.
Songs that were used:
Spookshow baby by Rob Zombie
Lights out by Mindless Self Indulgence
(Am I only one who could picture Volkner liking industrial music, like MSI for example?)