Good day, how do I see my hands, I see my feet Ain't gonna waste my hate Good day, how do
And I send a smile to you
Don't waste, waste your breath
And I won't waste my hate on youAin't gonna waste my hate
Ain't gonna waste my hate on you
I think I'll keep it for myself
Ain't gonna give no more
Ain't got the time to help you score
I think it's time ya pleased yourself
Good day, how do
And I send a smile to you
Don't waste, waste your breath
And I won't waste my hate on you
Think you're worthy now
Think enough to even raise the brow
And to laugh and tip that two pronged crown
I feel that blood that pumps in beat
But where the hell's my mind goin' now
And I send a smile to you
Don't waste, waste your breath
And I won't waste my hate on you
But I'm so greedy when they say
(It's) better to give than to receive
No, no ain't got time to waste my hate on you
Yeah, I think I'm gonna keep it all for myself
And I send a smile to you
Don't waste, waste your breath
And I won't waste my hate on you
-Wasting My Hate by Metallica
Summary:
Kelcey Jenee Simbulan and Jacob Ephraim black have always been enemies, ever since she'd moved to la push from Seattle four years ago. When he comes back from a mysterious two week disappearance with a beautifully sculpted body and "melt-you-on-the-spot brown eyes" Kelcey doesn't know what to do. She's caught between her changing feelings for this man, and her best friend's view on the relationship. When something happens between the three of them, Kelcey looses everything she's ever known. Will she and Jacob be able to make it through a dark time and will she get back what she's lost?
Chapter 1: He's Back!
Kelcey's POV
"You hate someone whom you really wish to love, but whom you cannot love. Perhaps he himself prevents you. That is a disguised form of love."
-Sri Chinmoy
"Fuck," I groaned and unwillingly got out of my bed to get ready for the day.
I sluggishly grabbed my favourite black and purple lacy corset, my black skinnies and my knee high converse.
"Mornin', Frankie," Momma called me by my nickname that I've had since I was little as I came downstairs for breakfast.
"Mornin', Momma," I replied back and kissed her cheek. Then I grabbed my favorite cereal, Cocoa Puffs, and made myself a big bowl.
"Good morning," Jeffa smiled with a missing canine tooth on the left side of his mouth. "What's for breakfast?"
"Whatever the hell you can find," Momma laughed and poured a cup of coffee. Jeffa, a.k.a. Jeff, was my mother's best friend, and he played the father figure in my life as my biological dad was a douche who lived near Seattle, Washington while I lived in La Push, Washington. I moved here a few years ago. It was easy to see that I hadn't grown up here.
While most people I knew had clear, dark skin and long, dark hair and dark eyes, I had freckled pale skin, short, choppy red hair and blue eyes. Oh, and I had two lips rings, both on the left side of my bottom lip. No one else in La Push had body piercings aside from the ears and occasional nose stud. And even if people had ear piercings, mine were still "unique" because I had size 0 gauges with regular holes above them. I really was different from everyone else around here.
La Push is a pretty cool place to live, even if you are a "pale face" as the legends called white people.
"Kelc," Jeffa said after getting himself his morning coffee, "be ready to go in 10."
"Got it," I replied back and ate as quickly as I could. Ten minutes later, I was ready to go and waiting for Jeffa with my suede zipper jacket on hand.
"Ready, Kelc?" He asked and I nodded. We headed out to his red Dodge Dakota, whose rear window, bumper and other various parts were covered in band stickers.
We drove to school listening to Metallica at a very high volume, probably waking all of La Push and the forest's inhabitants.
"Don't waste, waste your breath And I won't waste my hate on you" We sang together as we pulled into the school parking lot, everyone was staring at us… like usual. I rolled my eyes, gave Jeffa a hug, grabbed my backpack and headed off to my first period class.
"Morning, guys," I smiled and set my backpack down on my table. Instantly and almost in sync, Drew Laney, Janine Killian, Alexis Radicchio and Dorothy Parvers all stopped their practicing and glared at me before turning back to their sheet music. They were what me and my best friend called, "The Mean Girls". They were just like those bitches from that movie. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my music out of my bag before I sat down in my chair.
"KELCEY!" My best friend, Leah Clearwater, yelled at me as she ran into the room, barely out of breath.
"Am I in trouble?" I asked timidly, playing the part well.
"Why weren't you here earlier?? I need to talk to you!" She gushed as she ran over to me.
"I'm here the same time I always am," I told her, playing with the circle and arrow on my lip.
"Yeah well, that wasn't early enough today," she huffed.
"Why, what's going on?"
"Jacob's coming back today. I thought I'd warn you," Fucking Black, I cursed to myself.
If I had an enemy, it'd be him. He made fun of me for being so different from everyone else and he was always insulting me. It's not like I didn't throw it back at him, but still, it hurt a girl. It didn't help that he was two years younger than us, a measly sophomore while Leah and I were rockin' seniors.
"Well, thanks for letting me know. I've got to get my insults together now," I smiled appreciatively at her and she gave me a quick hug before heading off to her first class just as the bell rang.
First period and second went by quickly and with lots of homework. Unfortunately, I had third period TA and guess what class I TA'd in? Jacob freaking Black's class, that's what class. Fucking sophomore can't shut his damn trap.
Groaning and unwillingly, I let Leah pull me to class, assuring me that she knew I'd kick his ass if I needed to, which I probably could. Huffing, I walked into class and saw the twerp.
The rumors I'd heard about him being really sick and everything must have been bullshit because he was like a foot taller than me now whereas before he'd been short than me, and he was buff, like I could see his pecs through his outrageously tiny shirt.
"Like what you see, Simbulan?" Jacob asked, flexing his muscles.
"Ugh, you freaking perv," I said, avoiding his eyesight. "You only wish I'd go out with you."
"Mr. Reyes isn't here today," I said, addressing the class. "And I don't really feel like listening to Jacob's bullshit today, so we're going watch a football movie."
I pulled The Comebacks out of my bag and set it up in the DVD player. When the menu came up, the guys, and a few girls, cheered while everyone else groaned. I just rolled my eyes, happy to have Jacob distracted. I pressed play, took out my laptop and got to playing games on . About halfway through the movie, I looked up at the kids to make sure they were texting, even if they were, I wouldn't take their phone away. I text in class all the time.
That was when things…shifted.
I looked at Jake, who had been staring at me I guess but when I locked eyes with his, he didn't look away and I couldn't either. I felt like something was keeping me locked in place and I almost smiled at him but I caught myself in time and turned back to my game, wondering just what the hell that jolt of electricity was that ran through my body like something was grounding me to the floor when I looked at Jacob.
I tried not to look at him for the rest of class, but every once in a while I'd look up and see him staring at me with a goofy grin but he would always move his vision to the movie and pretend I didn't see him. I don't know why but every time I looked at him now, my heart beat faster and faster.
I didn't like it. I didn't like how I started hating him less and less by the minute. I wanted to hate him more for whatever it was that he was doing to me but my heart retaliated and pissed me off more with each passing second.
"Fucking shit," I complained when I got to the table at lunch time.
"What's up, Kelcey? How'd last period go?" Leah asked casually as she came over, carrying enough food for me and her, as it was her turn to buy lunch.
"Fucking incredible," I said sarcastically. "Best. Day. Ever. Seriously."
"Somehow I don't believe you," she replied with a smirk.
"Gee, I wonder why!" I barked back and she shrugged. She was used to my bitching at her, as I was to hers. Ever since that dickface Samuel Uley broke her heart, that's what we depended on each other for and from that, our friendship grew. Caralyn, the last part in our little group, just joined us and sat down in the middle, typing away on her laptop, completely unawares that her best friend was about to be in the middle of a mental breakdown.
"Do you want to wallow in solitude?" She bit back and I sighed again.
"No," I admitted and hung my head. "I just don't want to talk about it right now."
"Okay then, but I am here for you if you need me, Kelc," she smiled and patted my hand. I smiled back.
"What's going on?" Caralyn asked, suddenly paying attention.
"Jacob's back and he's throwing Kelc off. Last period was tough on her," I heard Leah fill her in while I sat and grumbled.
I sat there the rest of lunch, going over and over what happened last period, even if nothing really did happen, and fiddle with my lip rings, something I always did when I was nervous. What there was to be nervous about, completely invisible to me. Like a shield was preventing me from figuring it out.
Lunch passed just as slowly as the first two classes had and I lugged my way to PE. Guess who was in my class? Jacob. Yeah. The fucktard who's messing with my head and doesn't even know.
Fuck. Me.
I changed as slowly as possible and walked a snails pace to the field. I hated PE and now I hated even more because that stupid asshole.
"Line up!" Coach Imanez yelled out when the crowd of students flooded into the field. "Ateara!"
"Yeah," a somber and lonely looking Quil mumbled barely loud enough for Coach to hear. Quil was shooting daggers at Embry and Jacob. I wondered what had happened between them three. Before, it had been all of them, then just Jacob and Quil as Embry started hanging around Paul, Jared and Sam and now, it was Embry and Jacob who left Quil all alone. I swear to God they're outrageously annoying.
"Black!"
"Here!" Jacob Black sounded. I gritted my teeth.
"Burton!"
"Here," Frank Burton shouted.
"Call!"
"Here, Coach!" Embry Call yelled back as he laughed at something Jacob said.
Coach kept going down the list and I, as per usual around here, was last to be called.
"Simbulan!" Coach yelled, pronouncing it wrong. Again.
"Yeah!" I shouted back to him, hanging around the back of the group. I was annoyed that he couldn't pronounce it right. He said, "Sym-BOO-LAN" and it was "Sym-BYOO-LYNN". I mean, come on! It's October 28th. It's not like I haven't told him a couple times how to pronounce it, but not like he cares or anything.
"Today, we are going to do a few warm-ups before we start kickball. I'm going to count off pairs and I want each one person from each pair to come and get two of these belts and a rope –" he paused to hold up a white belt with two attachable flags that we used for flag football and a piece of rope about 2 feet long "– and then I want each of you to put the belts on and tie the ropes around each of your ankles. Got it?"
"Like a three legged race?!" Little Seth Clearwater, Leah's little brother and one of the most adorable freshman, asked for clarification and Coach nodded.
"Like a three legged race," he confirmed.
"Pairs! Clearwater and Kofy! Call and Ateara!" Ha. I'd like to see how that one went. I did feel bad for Quil though, poor guy probably not liking Embry too much right now. "Black and Simbulan!" Damnit! He mispronounced my name again.
Wait.
Did he just say what I think he said?!?!
Oh, fuck. I'm screwed.
"Hey," Jacob said as he came over to me after Embry walked off calmly to a glaring Quil.
"Hi," I said back, refusing to meet his melt-you-on-the-spot-coffee-brown-eyes. Wait, did I just say that? I groaned audibly.
"Well, if you don't want to be my partner, I can ask Coach to switch us up."
"Ha." I spat, starting to fiddle with the bottom of my shirt. "How much of a chance do you think we have with that, Black?
"I don't know, Simbulan, you tell me." He replied shortly. I chuckled.
"Nice comeback, dude. What's happened to ya? Two weeks of illness take away you're spitefulness?" I was trying my hardest not to look at him as I insulted him. When I finished talking, I felt a sharp pain to my stomach, like something was wrong and I instantly felt guilty. I only wished he couldn't tell.
"No. Yes. No. No." He sounded confused. "Just getting' back into the groove. What's with that thing you were wearing earlier? Trying to make the girls look bigger?"
I chortled. "Maybe. Why're you looking?"
"I am a dude, I notice these things."
"Oh, right of course, boobs are the only thing a lumberjack like you would notice. Well, look all you want because Heaven knows you ain't touching a pair anytime soon."
"You never know," he said back and I could literally hear the shit-eating grin on his face.
"You arrogant ass," I commented before moving towards Coach, watching the grass pass by my feet as I walked forward.
"Oh, God," I heard him mumble and groan. I so badly wanted to spin around and give him a good punch or two for that but I wouldn't dare for fear of getting suspended. So instead I took a couple good deep breaths and calmed myself.
"Here you go, Simbulan and Black." Coach said gruffly.
"Say it right," I said venomously and sounded it out for him. "Not that hard." I snorted before walking back to where I had been.
Huffing, I tied my belt around myself and then turned to Jacob who was holding the rope up in the air.
"Guess you're stuck with me," he laughed fully and dangled it in front of my face.
I rolled my eyes and snatched it from him. Sighing, I tied it around us both.
Not that I mind being tied to you. I think I'm in trouble. Serious mental trouble.